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Reviews For Unforgiveable Sirius
Author's Response: It wasn't meant to be, unless you mean Albus then yeah that part was. there's no more abuse happening in this story so..try not to reach too much
The main one is the use of "your" and "you're." "Your" indicates ownership. You've used it correctly here: “Open your eyes wolf, of course he doesn’t want to stay here. Can you blame him?” "You're" is a contraction of "you" and "are." Here is an instance where you should have used "you're" instead of "your:" “As well as anyone can be I guess, he’s still scared if that’s what YOUR asking." It should be "you're" as in, "if that's what you're asking."
Author's Response: Yea he will, Harry is so out of his element here, that he has to learn to trust that Snape wont hurt him when he does something that the man doesnt like. Of course him and Albus are going to be furious about the lines on his hand. I have a plan for the Durselys too dont worry Author's Response: Yea he will, Harry is so out of his element here, that he has to learn to trust that Snape wont hurt him when he does something that the man doesnt like. Of course him and Albus are going to be furious about the lines on his hand. I have a plan for the Durselys too dont worry
Almost want Sirius to try something crazy, like trying to kidnap Harry and give him Veritaserum or something, like "you must tell me the truth!" ..."you're a bully." XD Author's Response: Yea he really is lol, 'kidnap' his godson? You know that might work...maybe no truth serum tho lol
Author's Response: I can really see Albus hitting him like that lol but who knows
Author's Response: Thanks I'm glad you like it
Author's Response: I try...It needed some humor, and I love Sirius too but he deserved it lol
I would really like to see a scene where Sirius overhears Harry talking about how great Snape is and how lucky he is to have him as a father/guardian. Sirius (typically) goes all crazy with jealousy and everything follows from there. I know that this scene will probably be better of later in the story but I just wanted to get it out there...Please update soon! Author's Response: Yea I will use this, but much later on in the story. Thanks for the idea
Author's Response: Thank you for reading |
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