Title: Chapter 10
| 13 Apr 2016 8:27 pm
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Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
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Lovely chapter well done Remus!
This is so sweet and sad all at the same time. It's only getting better and better (or worse and worse depending on how you look at it. Please update again soon, I'm looking forward to more!
oh very nice more please
Author's Response: Awesome, I'm glad you liked it.
Lovely chapter. I love the realization at the end. Just one suggestion. It's always a good idea to tell a chapter from one pov instead of multiples. Pick the pov that best gets across what you want the reader to know and stick with that. This is a great way to build suspense. If you'll notice, JKR primarily uses Harry's pov in her books. It's a great way for the reader to figure things out right along with Harry.
Author's Response: thanks for the advice but thats not my writing style. others like myself like to know a different point of views at times; though im glad you like my story, it wont change tho.
That was a really sweet ending there. I won't be surprised if Severus murders Sirius by the end of this story. The cards aren't good for the grim.
Looking forward to more!!
Author's Response: If Remus hadnt beatened him too it lol. But yes the odds are definitly not in Sirius's favor.
what a birthday gift for me ( my birthday was the 6th)
beautiful chapter remus' anger sirisu is a dead man.
as much as it was guilt making Harry tell it was more then that
the love from Snape awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Author's Response: Happy belated birthday lol, and Im so glad you liked it
Towards the end, the dialogue lines don't have spaces like they do in the beginning.
Author's Response: Thanks, I fixed it now
Can you take a bit of honest correction? Try spacing out the dialogue, it's all bleeding together making it difficult to concentrate. Other than that, kudos on a wonderful chapter.
Author's Response: I didnt realize the the dialogue towards the end didnt space when I copied and pasted it, but its fixed now, and thanks
Oh my--I am absolutely sure that if Sev ever gets his hands on Black that there will be very little left of him, but now I doubt that will ever happen--Moony will take care of it himself. Sirius has one royally pissed werewolf on his hands and doesn't believe that he is in the wrong. On squished grim in the making.
Thanks for the update V.
Author's Response: I know right..lol
Can't wait for more though the formatting looks a little wonky. Update soon
Author's Response: Wonky how? And thanks I'll try to, but no promises
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