So well done! I’m on the edge of my seat.
" The three of them walked into the cold winter night. Harry breathed in the lovely fresh air, looked at the stars and suddenly regretted not knowing most of them." This should really be two sentences, with the verb ending for 'regret' changed in the second, as I have it.
But aside from those two minor changes--what you have CONVEYED in this/these lines is what's special. You have captured Harry's heightened senses due to his (we all assume) impending death. He is treasuring what he and we figure to be his last moments, and therefore they are all the more precious.
Oh my goodness! Looking forward to the next chapter!
| Title: Chapter 18
| 18 Dec 2011 5:51 pm
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| Reviewer: Kai (Signed)
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Oh goodness! I can't wait for an update! Suspense is killing me!
Author's Response: Good! Thanks!
A nice story! Good luck in continuing!
Author's Response: Thank you, I update daily :)
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