| Title: Chapter 4: Some Answers & Woodland Elves
| 04 Jun 2020 6:45 am
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| Reviewer: Cayj (Signed)
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To be completely honest, there are two problems I'm having with this story. 1 is that the use of metaphor saturates the story. I feel like the actual plot plus the dialogue all gets lost and drowned beneath all the metaphor. Not everything needs to be described as poetically as possible. The second this is your transitions are non-existent. You go from one scene to another as if on a single train of thought. The story itself I am loving and I do plan to continue reading; these were two issues I just felt I had to point out
| Title: Chapter 4: Some Answers & Woodland Elves
| 22 Feb 2013 6:23 pm
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| Reviewer: Lord Voldything (Anonymous)
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I love the poetic descriptions.
| Title: Chapter 4: Some Answers & Woodland Elves
| 21 Jan 2013 9:17 am
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| Reviewer: heartstar (Anonymous)
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i love this poor luc and sev at least they have found eachother again more please when you can thank you .
I love the musical aspect of the elves! And a harp is a wonderful instrument-I've always wondered what it is like to play one--I play the Violin.
Wonderful chapter. Thanks for posting.
V
Will Lucius outlive Sev then? What other characteristics has Saturn inherited from his mum? Does Sev mourn the fact he isn't as connected as his mate and son are to nature?
I loved reading it. Please update again soon!
| Title: Chapter 4: Some Answers & Woodland Elves
| 19 Jan 2013 3:29 am
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| Reviewer: Kaelisea (Anonymous)
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You have utterly surprised me. I never, ever, ever read severus/lucious fanfics or much mpreg implied/ Harry creature fic; but your story has truly caught my delightful attention. Much like dare I say it (Harry's harp playing with the woods!) I am in shock! This is a great fanfic! I can't wait to read more! On another note author for you to read Patricia Mckillip, any of her works, Riddle-master esp; & Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner! Hope you find them inspiring like me, way to go!
| Title: Chapter 4: Some Answers & Woodland Elves
| 19 Jan 2013 1:23 am
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| Reviewer: Outlawgal (Signed)
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(Claps) I just love the way you write. I can see every detail you write as a picture in my mind, like I am watching it on the big screen.
I can't wait for the interaction between the brothers.
Did Draco get the human side or is he elf too? Ears and all.
This was great, it was packed full of so much new information I'm probably going to have to reread it again lol.
I'm really happy to see Saturn and Lucius bonding and Severus's caring side. I also cannot wait to see how Draco takes this. He's going to be the older brother right?
That's okay, that you haven't decided yet, just let us know when you do :) I like Albus in canon as well, I just dislike how he did everyone else.
| Title: Chapter 4: Some Answers & Woodland Elves
| 18 Jan 2013 8:59 pm
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| Reviewer: JustMe (Anonymous)
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Interesting take on the Harry-with-different-parents theme! It's certainly a variation I've never read before, lol, and I'd love to see where you take the story, since the usual roles of familiar characters is being shaken up.
My only critique is word-usage: be careful with overusing adjectives and being overly effusive with descriptions. And be sure the word you use is really the word you *mean*. In some spots it sounded almost like you were picking words from a thesaurus to be more varied...but it didn't quite work. As a specific example, the phrase "saccharine orange blossom" is a little odd. The word saccharine has a generally negative connotation - overly sweet, if you will - so the phrase didn't read quite as smoothly as it would have if you'd stuck with a more common word. Anyway, I'm not trying to be overly critical, I swear. I really do like your story, very much!
Good luck with the rest of it! :)
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