There's a lot of grammar and punctuation issues that make the story not enjoyable to read.
Another excellent chapter, I like good Dudley, can't wait to read more.
| Title: Chapter 2
| 05 Mar 2013 7:52 am
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| Reviewer: heartstar (Anonymous)
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| Title: Chapter 2
| 05 Mar 2013 7:29 am
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| Reviewer: Wandacarla (Anonymous)
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Wow I can't wait to find out what happens next! Update soon (:
Not a bad start. I will say that your story would benefit from a beta reader, just to go over some grammar and other technicalities, to give it a more polished and clearer flow.
Still, I like your idea of Dudley doing something, it isn't seen very often and I would like to see more stories like this. Good start!
Poor Harry. Severus showing his caring/concern side and Albus shows off his Slytherin. What is this world coming to. :P
This is very good so far in a sad way (meaning for Harry condition) keep up the good work.
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