Intolerant! That's ... a mild way of describing the Dursleys! But seriously, the first part of this chapter was exciting (do we find out what that creature was?!), and the rest of it angsty (please don't let Harry die!). Loved the detail of Snape having to Scourgify his own face, and how efficiently he dealt with Vernon!
Wow. Way to break the news of Harry's condition, Severus. It's going to be a long holiday. At least the Dursleys left.
I loved the way you set the scene for the appearance of the monster. It really was a creepy beginning. I hope we learn more about what the monster is later on. I also liked that Filch had a sense of what was happening in Hogwarts. It was nice to see him in a more positive role. After all that excitement and half a bottle of whiskey, Snape should have one heck of a headache coming. Oh, well, sometimes it pays to be a potions master. At least the Dursley home shouldn't be cold and slimy.
| Title: Chapter 1 - Green Eyed Monster
| 30 Oct 2014 12:09 pm
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| Reviewer: rosina (Signed)
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Liked the monster. Nice start, and as a bonus I'd assumed I was reading a one shot, but there's more to come.
An entertaining start, Ebb. I look forward to seeing where you go with this.
| Title: Chapter 1 - Green Eyed Monster
| 30 Oct 2014 7:07 am
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| Reviewer: Scorpia (Signed)
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Very nicely written! I would go back though and try to fix the spacing between POV switches, it's quite big.
Over than that, I can't wait for the next chapter! :D
Author's Response: Thanks. Yeah, I just got finished fixing that. Didn't realize it was so big. :P. Glad you liked it. :).
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