Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For Unexpected Truce
Title: Chapter 5: Harry's Teddy Bear 30 Sep 2016 3:32 am
Reviewer: bridgeportfox (Signed) [Report This]
    I have been enjoying your story. The idea of Severus being adopted by Minerva is interesting. It's nice that he has that support. I have noticed that you seem to go between past and present tense in your sentences which makes reading more difficult. You might want to watch out for that.

    Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad that you are enjoying the story. I hope that my mistakes won't discourage you from continuing with the story
Title: Chapter 5: Harry's Teddy Bear 23 Sep 2016 10:58 pm
Reviewer: ARim (Signed) [Report This]
    Lovely story.
    There is a recurrent problem with the verb-tenses:
    "The chair looked (past) uneasy.., but she found (past)
    that it gives (present) her back...."
    present should be past tense.
    It is much easier to read a sentence when the tenses match all the way.
    Please check the tense-rules.
    To help, try William Strunk and E. B.
    White's :'The Elements of Style'. It is a small pearl, pocket-sized, about
    the rules of usage, principles of composition, form, use of words, and brief notes on style. It will help you,because you write with imagination, but the verbs, jangling, catapult the reader out of the story's universe.
    Good luck, and happiness with the work.
Title: Chapter 5: Harry's Teddy Bear 03 Feb 2015 1:13 am
Reviewer: Lyzasnape (Signed) [Report This]
    It's about to go down! lol I can't wait to read what happens next.

Disclaimer Charm: Harry Potter and all related works including movie stills belong to J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Bros, and Bloomsbury. Used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made off of this site. All fanfiction and fanart are the property of the individual writers and artists represented on this site and do not represent the views and opinions of the Webmistress.

Powered by eFiction 3.3