I hope that Harry is able to keep at least most of the mobility in his scarred hand. That's just... I hope that when they get to Umbitch, they're able to give back all that she deserves. If Harry isn't able to deal with seeing those particular scars, it might be time to introduce him to a new accessory. Maybe some custom near-elbow length quidditch gloves? Something he can wear casually without drawing too much attention to the fact that he's covering his arm/hand. But that's all on what Harry wants to do in the future. It might be, his nerves are damaged enough that he'll have to wear a brace that covers them anyway.
I have been enjoying your story. The idea of Severus being adopted by Minerva is interesting. It's nice that he has that support. I have noticed that you seem to go between past and present tense in your sentences which makes reading more difficult. You might want to watch out for that.
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad that you are enjoying the story. I hope that my mistakes won't discourage you from continuing with the story
| Title: Chapter 52: Dish Best Served Cold
| 30 Sep 2016 1:39 am
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| Reviewer: woodyt (Signed)
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looking forward to next chap
First thing, I think a blood replenisher wouldn't go amiss, then they should go from there. This was most definitely NOT the sleepover that they had in mind. Still, the bonds between them are impressively strong.
| Title: Chapter 5: Harry's Teddy Bear
| 23 Sep 2016 10:58 pm
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| Reviewer: ARim (Signed)
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Lovely story.
There is a recurrent problem with the verb-tenses:
"The chair looked (past) uneasy.., but she found (past)
that it gives (present) her back...."
present should be past tense.
It is much easier to read a sentence when the tenses match all the way.
Please check the tense-rules.
To help, try William Strunk and E. B.
White's :'The Elements of Style'. It is a small pearl, pocket-sized, about
the rules of usage, principles of composition, form, use of words, and brief notes on style. It will help you,because you write with imagination, but the verbs, jangling, catapult the reader out of the story's universe.
Good luck, and happiness with the work.
| Title: Chapter 50: Blood, Sweat and Tears
| 21 Sep 2016 11:46 pm
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| Reviewer: Lyzasnape (Signed)
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| Title: Chapter 32: Realization
| 18 Sep 2016 4:55 pm
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| Reviewer: Jdjuice (Signed)
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Enjoying your story. Thank you
Poor harry. Please update soon!
Well, there's that ready-made excuse for detention with Snape, if he manages to roll out of bed at all. Though I wouldn't blame him if he just stayed there for the rest of the afternoon. That was indeed a cruel trick to rope Harry into. Though I'm surprised that Hermione wasn't called out either. I would have thought that she would know just about as much about the patronus charm as Harry, even if she didn't practice it herself. She's studious and curious like that. Still, hopefully Ron and/or Hermione will be able to tell Snape Harry's 'excuses' and maybe they can get him out of the Toad's grasp for the night.
I guess it would be safer for her if she was dead to the world, wouldn't she? And how she was attacked, it's not like she can exactly resume her previous post once she heals as much as she can, given the circumstances. That gets Remus in a 'safe' place as well, away from the general populous, but still easy to contact. And Snuffles can easily be hand waved away as dogsitting for an old friend if anyone dares to ask. The chess pieces may be jostled about a bit, but they're still in good positions to attack and defend when needed.
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