| Title: Chapter 12 A glimpse of truth
| 30 Apr 2016 3:51 pm
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| Reviewer: Dimplz (Signed)
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Thanks for this story. I really liked it. As I was reading this, I had no idea you weren't a native English speaker. I did see a couple of awkward words/phrases but there really weren't any more than what I usually see from a native speaker. Excellent job!
I love the ending! This is such a perfect ending and I love the last line! I would so love to read a sequel to this story :D
Thank for responding to the challenge and thank you for writing a great story!
Author's Response: I have always thought that it’s a pity you normally don’t get some response from the instigators of the challenges when you answer them. Therefore I was particularly delighted to read your series of reviews to the chapters of this story. Thank you! I still haven’t got down to writing the sequel, although I have a pretty clear idea of what I would like to do. I believe I will, however, sooner or later :-)
| Title: Chapter 12 A glimpse of truth
| 07 Apr 2016 8:56 pm
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| Reviewer: GothDyke (Anonymous)
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Overall I really enjoyed reading this story, and I would be very happy if there would be a sequel.
What I liked:
-- the reversal of the Petunia-Vernon-dynamics because that is a new angle on the "Abusive Dursleys" theme
-- likewise I find it quite refreshing that Snape's past as a Death Eater and spy prevents him from getting the guardianship of Harry, but that he found a way to be near to Harry despite this obstacle.
-- that there is no definite answer to the question of Harry's parentage, but that Snape begins to fulfill the role of father in the way that counts (at least for now).
What I didn't like was the overly long and detailed description of Snape's travel history in chapter 2: Harry is in grave danger, and so the reader wants the help to arrive quickly and is anxious and impatient. A certain amount of suspense is to be expected, but to read paragraph after paragraph about Snape's past travels disrupts the pacing of the story (at least for me).
I definitely want to read a sequel, as I would eventually want to know if Snape *is* Harry's biological father and how the magical boost after the appendectomy affects Harry's magical abilities in the long run.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I’m glad that you liked the story and that you were drawn into it enough to get annoyed at chapter 2, which I agree, will put a halt to the train of events. Of course it was necessary to introduce the Snape of this story and give a picture of his prior life and his present state of mind, but it was probably too long and the examples too many. That’s what happens when Muse runs away with you and then you’re too enamoured in your own text to delete it… As a reader, I’m like you, by the way, as I’m not a fan of lengthy descriptions. I want to be taken along by the author and enjoy a book or a story, preferably in one long fluid experience :-)
| Title: Chapter 12 A glimpse of truth
| 22 Nov 2015 2:40 am
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| Reviewer: woodyt (Signed)
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Would love to read a sequel as I really did like this story but I hope you don't mind me making the suggestion that maybe you should try & get a beta. Thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: Thank you for liking the story, although this story WAS betaed... I guess it wouldn't hurt to have several betas, though :-) Living in another country, I don't have friends around who speak english, so betas are kind of hard to get hold of...
| Title: Chapter 12 A glimpse of truth
| 12 Nov 2015 7:26 am
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| Reviewer: Scorpia (Signed)
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I read this entire story last night! It took me a couple of hours and I was up until 5 AM, it was so good that I just hated to leave it! You can tell that you care about the characters and the quality of your writing, they were so well written. I really enjoyed how you took Vernon and looked into his relationship with Petunia, you made them more human (though no more likable, despicable the both of them!) Snape, even not being his snarky self, was enjoyable and believable, I loved him and how he worried about Harry and delighted to spend time with him, it was so sweet. You wrote out Harry's pain and emotional turmoil so well that I actually found myself crying! Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us, it was a pleasure to read! I hope you'll write more soon!
Author's Response: So very kind words, thank you! I'm particularly touched that you wrote you could tell I care about the characters, because I do very much. So glad you liked it!
| Title: Chapter 12 A glimpse of truth
| 12 Nov 2015 7:26 am
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| Reviewer: Scorpia (Signed)
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I read this entire story last night! It took me a couple of hours and I was up until 5 AM, it was so good that I just hated to leave it! You can tell that you care about the characters and the quality of your writing, they were so well written. I really enjoyed how you took Vernon and looked into his relationship with Petunia, you made them more human (though no more likable, despicable the both of them!) Snape, even not being his snarky self, was enjoyable and believable, I loved him and how he worried about Harry and delighted to spend time with him, it was so sweet. You wrote out Harry's pain and emotional turmoil so well that I actually found myself crying! Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us, it was a pleasure to read! I hope you'll write more soon!
I very much enjoyed this story. I agree, it is the emotional bond that matters. Too many stories have Harry or Snape finding out s biological relationship, and instantly feeling completely different toward the other. I like that the relationship is not based only on blood, but also on the emotional bond that developed, and was hard won (with a little help from the appendicitis bond twist).
You asked about errors: a few that kept cropping up: in English, mounting is more frequently associated with horses, or with animals about to engage in procreation. It would never be used without a direct object in relationship with stairs (mount the stairs) and even that would be an unusual construct. Try "go upstairs" or "come upstairs", or "climbed the stairs". There were a few others but that was th one that stuck in mind.
Good writing - I'm trying to imagine writing something this good in German, which I was fluent in for many years - and I know I would fall short of this quality.
Thanks for writing. I hope that there is a sequel.
Such a unique take on Severus and Harry's relationship. I enjoyed this story and would like to read a sequel!
Aww this was lovely! :)
Author's Response: Thanks :-)
| Title: Chapter 12 A glimpse of truth
| 30 Sep 2015 4:46 am
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| Reviewer: Lauren (Anonymous)
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I could not stop reading this to review each chapter- yours me enthralled. I think this is one of the best written fan fictions I have read- you fleshed out the Dursely's and I loved the rationale for Petunia's bitterness and the dynamics between her and Vernon's relationship. I liked that although Vernon had some sympathy, he was true to character is trying to manipulate Harry to his own ends as per cannon. I also thought your Characterisation of Snape was spot on- I think a lot of authors overlook the fact that he is a young man in the series and would have the same anxieties most late twenties/early thirties muggles have. I also adored how you used something so mundane as the appendix to be linked to strongly to magic (I think JK would approve of that idea!). I would love a story about the Wizarding neighbourhood of Ottery St Catchepole- I can just imagine Snape and the Lovegoods butting heads!!
Author's Response: Thank you very much - that praise warmed my heart! I'm particularly glad that you liked "my" Snape, because he's a complicated character to portray and, yes, he is young and struggling so hard with himself.
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