Reviews For I Need You
although the books do not give much chance of the bloody scenes in a fascist house, that many teen writers like to indulge in - Gothic horror.
I admit, their hard hearts and negative names for him, bars on windows, and that they let Dudley bully him mercilessly is horrible enough.
(My next review at chap.9 should have been placed after the eighth chapter.)
Reading on with interest.
It is a lovely story, which I enjoy.
What happened to the Chapter 8,called the Room of Requirement?
It is gone. No text at all, just an
author note, which is pleasant to read, and encouraging for faithful readers. then it suddenly starts again with chapter 9, in which Harry and his two friends are in the middle of a long conversation somewhere.
Perhaps it has been deleted?
Ah, well, things happen.
I like the story for the believable vulnerability of the cat and the man which has pain and high fever, ... maybe try to make a bridge, so that you show how Severus is swinging between his new, unlocked,warmer, tender side learning to trust Harry, and his usual, distant, cool, outer persona, which he has had on as a mask for many years. That wouldn't just disappear completely over a week of new experiences and new ideas about the mistreated boy. In other words , be careful you don't change your actor's roles so fast, that it is unrealistic. Describe changes more slowly.
You describe the instinctive actions of the wounded cat very well and sensitively.
Ps. Ron is more than just a loud, vocal dunce, he is also loyal to his friends, stubborn, has a upbeat sense of humor, protective of his new 'brother' Harry, acts before he thinks, then regrets it, he has a sense of realism, that Hermione lacks.
He is intelligent at strategy and long term winning = very good at chess.
So many paint him as an shouting idiot, and he isn't. He is just a normal, talented kid, having two extraordinary friends; not always easy to be out-shone.
Looking forward to read more, with great pleasure, as I adore Severus Snape and the Cat.
Author's Response: I'm sorry about chapter 8, I'll upload it again. Thank you for telling me and for your advices!!
Powered by eFiction 3.3