Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For I Need You
Title: Chapter 2: Pain 23 Aug 2016 9:08 pm
Reviewer: rosina (Signed) [Report This]
    I like this so far. There are some nice details, and it makes a change for Harry to be the one looking after Snape. English may not be your first language, but the story is easy enough to read. There was just the one sentence that really stood out as needing correction - 'It catched the black cat and bite his leg' should read 'It caught the black cat and bit his leg'. I look forward to seeing how things progress now that Snape's secret is out.

    Author's Response: Thank you, I've just corrected it.
Title: Chapter 2: Pain 23 Aug 2016 9:02 am
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    I liked it. :) Poor little cat Snape! Harry is being so attentive to him and his wounds. I love how Snape softened towards Harry, and how Harry confided in his little cat friend. Of course, it must be a shock when Harry realized that it was Snape!

    I noticed that a lot of your quotations are missing end punction. For example:

    "...I hope someone could see that I’m not my father”

    “So, you are an animagus” Harry continued.

    They should be written as such:


    "...I hope someone could see that I’m not my father.”

    “So, you are an animagus,” Harry continued.

    Otherwise the writing was good. :) I'm interested to see what happens next. PLease continue!
Title: Chapter 1: Summer? 23 Aug 2016 8:57 am
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    Awww, poor little cat. Of course Harry would take it in, he's lucky the Durlsey's didn't see the cat. I don't think they would let him keep it. I wonder if Harry knows potions are okay for animals to take. I don't remember reading it in any of the books.

    I liked seeing Harry's thoughts about his situation, and how it compares to Ron's.

    I felt like the end of this chapter was a little rushed. The explanations of where Harry got the potions doesn't fit in where it is. The explanation needed to been earlier, when potions are first mentioned. Otherwise we are all wondering and hanging, in a state of anxiety until it is explained. So I think maybe around here:

    " together with a little syringe to put the water and the potions in the cat’s mouth. " Add immediately after that he got the potions from school, using his invisibility cloak to nick them from the hospital wing.

    Good start with the first chapter. Poor Harry, he goes through a lot in the summer. I did like how you mentioned the Marge incident, and how now the Dursley's will only visit her.

    I did edit your formatting in the story, and censored the profanity (bad words) in two places. I added profanity as a warning to your story. please don't use the "f bomb" lightly as it will make the rating of your story have to go up to 16+. The letters now look different from the rest of the story, I used block quotes so that they would stand out.

    Author's Response: I’ve tried to improve the things you’ve told me. Thank you so much for your help, you’re great.

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