This was a very powerful and well-written opening chapter. I could really feel the pain and intensity of it all.
not crying not crying not crying AM crying
I do really like to read this but can’t increase the text size 😔 I’ve checked other stories on here and the text increase is working fine so not sure what’s up :( is it posted anywhere else? Thanks :)
Author's Response: I'm sorry it's not showing up :( I copy paste from my FF.net account so some of the formatting probably didn't come through correctly. It's posted under the same name (and user name) on FF.net and AO3.
Not bad writing, I think I'll try it... Oh, dear, daddy Snape replaces the greasy git?
| Title: Chapter 1: I Failed Him
| 27 Jun 2020 8:32 pm
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| Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
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Very intense start thank you
Really good start.
I especially like the following lines as it brought up very definitive imagery: "Albus knew he would find Severus in here; on the bed in the far right corner of the room under the enchanted window showing the sun setting across the black lake.
Severus Snape was still in his black dress robes from earlier that day, his head cradled in his hands propped up on his elbows"
Only thing I'm a bit confused is I can't tell if you are talking about Muggle Medicine vs Wizard medicine causing the issue. In the beginning it's implied taking the wizard medicine caused the issue, but then near the end it's the other way around.
Author's Response: Thank you! If you're only in chapter 1, then you'll get more information as you go through the story (I believe chapter 4 givesthe first real look at what happened), but there wasn't a really good option either way, is where the choice comes from in the title. I don't want to give too much of it away, but Harry did do wizarding and that was the end result.
| Title: Chapter 1: I Failed Him
| 07 Jun 2020 5:39 am
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| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
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Oh this was so painful to read. But it was so good, so powerful. Wow. You do a fantastic job writing out how Severus feels, and setting things up. Marvelous.
That ending of this chapter, about Severus wanting to dream to see his son one last time.... wow. Powerfully painful, but oh so beautiful.
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