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Reviews For The Gifted Apprentice
Just a couple of things... in the beginning it wasn't clear if Snape let go of Harry but then somehow was still holding on to him. Maybe a mention that instead of releasing Harry, he released Harry's shoulders or something, and moved to Harry's wrist so Harry couldn't bolt. I think that would fit in better. This part: "If you're feeling better, we'll be on our way." Snape loosened his grip on Harry's arms and released him once he was sure the boy wouldn't fall over. Harry stayed silent as they made their way back to the castle. He was relieved to be back at Hogwarts, and now that he was fairly sure that Snape wasn't carting him off to Voldemort (at least not at the moment), he could feel the tension leaving his body. Now all he felt was exhaustion. Like he'd been hit by a truck. The two walked in silence as they approached the doors, Snape holding him gently (but firmly) by his wrist. It's just confusing with the releasing first. Also this, Gate should be gait: Not totally unfeeling, Snape slowed his gate enough so that Harry could keep up with him and not feel like he was being dragged. And Lily: "He's Lilly's son too. You seem to forget that. I bet Harry will need his hair cut since it's all ratted. And multiple changes of bath water. >.< Will Snape stay as Head of Slytherin if he takes Harry on as an Apprentice too? That seems like a lot of responsibility for someone already spread thin. I'm really enjoying this story. I find Harry to be really in character. I would like more emotional reflection in Snape instead of being closed off all the time but maybe he's Occluding. Thanks for writing and sharing this story and chapter. :) |
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