|
|
Reviews For The Gifted Apprentice
So did Harry leave his Owl at the Dursleys locked up? Why didn't Hedwig find him? I'm sure Dobby would have prevented any mail from getting to Harry even after Harry ran away. I bet Hedwig is peeved at Harry for leaving her behind. Did she just hang out in the trees on Privet Drive until Dumbledore arrived? This is such a great story, I'm loving that I can read so much all at once. Thank you for writing and sharing!
Fantastic chapter. Maybe the best one yet! Thank you for writing and sharing. :) Author's Response: Wow- thank you! I'm hoping I'm finally hitting my stride, I really appreciate the feedback :) I'm so glad you enjoyed my "social services roulette" line, lol. That's one of the most fun parts of writing Snape, he is so SO snarky!!
I wonder if we will meet Snape's former Potions teacher in this story. Fantastic set up so far. Great place to end the chapter. :) I only noticed one spelling mistake of Lily: At the same time, Snape knew what the boy represented and how important he was. And while Snape could sometimes be a petty and bitter man, he took his commitments and duties very seriously. He had made promises to Dumbledore—and in his heart, to Lilly—that he would protect Harry and dedicate his life to the destruction of the evil that threatened them all. Author's Response: I definitely plan to have some interaction with Snape and the APM (and his former mentor Master Barclay). Looking forward to writing it and sharing it!! Snape needs to get on the ball if they want to formalize this soon. So it should be coming up in the next few chapters!
Just a couple of things... in the beginning it wasn't clear if Snape let go of Harry but then somehow was still holding on to him. Maybe a mention that instead of releasing Harry, he released Harry's shoulders or something, and moved to Harry's wrist so Harry couldn't bolt. I think that would fit in better. This part: "If you're feeling better, we'll be on our way." Snape loosened his grip on Harry's arms and released him once he was sure the boy wouldn't fall over. Harry stayed silent as they made their way back to the castle. He was relieved to be back at Hogwarts, and now that he was fairly sure that Snape wasn't carting him off to Voldemort (at least not at the moment), he could feel the tension leaving his body. Now all he felt was exhaustion. Like he'd been hit by a truck. The two walked in silence as they approached the doors, Snape holding him gently (but firmly) by his wrist. It's just confusing with the releasing first. Also this, Gate should be gait: Not totally unfeeling, Snape slowed his gate enough so that Harry could keep up with him and not feel like he was being dragged. And Lily: "He's Lilly's son too. You seem to forget that. I bet Harry will need his hair cut since it's all ratted. And multiple changes of bath water. >.< Will Snape stay as Head of Slytherin if he takes Harry on as an Apprentice too? That seems like a lot of responsibility for someone already spread thin. I'm really enjoying this story. I find Harry to be really in character. I would like more emotional reflection in Snape instead of being closed off all the time but maybe he's Occluding. Thanks for writing and sharing this story and chapter. :)
He must feel really, really guilty about Harry disappearing... I wonder if Snape can connect to Harry easier because Snape knew Lily... maybe he is familiar with her mind and whatever Harry inherited from her? Author's Response: I personally believe that Snape struggles greatly with expressing or acknowledging almost any feeling besides anger, frustration, or irritation. Those are the ones he seems to be the most comfortable with, and I think you've nailed it when you said that his anger was really everything else going on. As I will allude to in future chapters- Harry being gone really brought up a lot of difficult emotions for Snape that he still hasn't been able to fully acknowledge. I think as soon as he realized that Harry was really gone (and his relatives are horrid people), he felt extremely guilty. While this will certainly be a struggle for him to come to terms with some of the ways he has maybe failed Harry in the past, it will also hopefully open him up to some emotional growth.
I'm so glad that Snape found Harry! And that Harry is going peacefully. He's probably tired of living on the streets, filthy. Fantastic chapter, I loved reading it. Author's Response: I took some creative license with this special ability, lol! But I do think that you make an excellent point that perhaps of all people, he does connect and sense Harry better because of the love and connection he has with Lily. I kind of liken it to those tracking dogs that can still find a scent or recognize their owner or even travel 3000 miles to find their families by extraordinary means. His mind is so trained and so skilled, it leaves him more in tune than even other wizards and witches. He needed proximity and a magical signature (or the rememnents in this case of Harry's accidental magic) to pick it up. There's also a lot of intuition involved. I kind of loved the idea that while we generally don't think of Snape as an intuitive person (mostly because he gives away so little of his own feelings), that he is actually a master of reading other people and picking up/sensing energies that they give off. Thanks so much for the feedback, I am so glad that you're enjoying it. I really appreciate the details you notice, you've given me some great things to think about maybe exploring in more detail as we move forward!!
One thing I noticed is Alistair Moody should be spelled Alastor Moody. I'm enjoying the writing and story so far! Great introduction and descriptions. :) Author's Response: Thank you! I will make those edits. I had my spell check doing weird things with names. I appreciate all of your help- thanks for the feedback!
|
|
Powered by eFiction 3.5 |