This is great! I love the way you have Harry internalize his external world.

I love the way the diary isn't just a focal point, it's a fulcrum that everything revolves around and that creates it's own leverage on otherwise minor emotions.

Also, you did such a great job keeping the tone if a youngster, which gives the dark intermingling with it so much more punch. 

And the accretion of stressors is really well managed. 

Wow. love it all!

It is just as powerful the second time reading. Holy - Merlin's balls this is so real.

How did Harry loose it- how did Snape get it? Did he steal it when Harry was zoned out? 

Great use of italics, and statements from Harry's thoughts, the repetition. 

I also really liked Ron in this, being such a good friend. Real masculine energy, while having that Weasley comfort. You did a fantastic job on him. I think Ron and Hermione can tell how important it is to him, do they guess that it is Harry's diary?

I liked your Neville too. Snape is spot on. I am so nervous for Harry right now.

Please tell me you have more written.