I absolutely love it. Fantastic descriptions and emotions. Your characterizations are exactly right. Your Harry is spot on. I love your Snape too. Both Snape and Harry are witty and I love it when authors add that snark and humor into the characters.

This thought Harry had was funny, "Had he broken Snape?" Cute. I love these in character thoughts Harry has. It was so funny that Snape first laughed at Harry's proposal. It was delightful.

I love the premise of this story. I am excited and I can't wait to read more! It's fantastic so far.

Thanks so much for writing and sharing it!

Some critiques: when using speech, a comma should be used instead of a period and the Said part should be lower case. I'll post most of the instances I noted so you can fix:

This one is fine:

Snape snorted. “I’m surprised the minister didn’t get rid of them once he heard of precious Potters' fainting spell.”

Fix these:

“He’s trying to keep one student safe.” Quipped Snape.

“He’s trying to keep one student safe,” quipped Snape.

“Severus.” Said McGonagall. “It has been quite an evening.”

“Severus,” said McGonagall. “It has been quite an evening.”

This is fine:

“Dinner with the minister went that well?” Snape quirked an eyebrow.

Fix these: 

“He’ll be getting the kiss when they catch him.” Said McGonagall.

“He’ll be getting the kiss when they catch him,” said McGonagall.

“I’m not sure there is a soul there to suck out.” Said Snape, darkly

“I’m not sure there is a soul there to suck out,” said Snape, darkly.

“He’s sure of it.” Said McGonagall. “Black is after Harry,

“He’s sure of it,” said McGonagall. “Black is after Harry,

“Well.” McGonagall drew her shawl around herself. “I best get back to my quarters. 

“Well,” McGonagall drew her shawl around herself. “I best get back to my quarters. 

This one is fine:

“My lions?” McGonagall gave a mischievous smirk. “Never.”

Fix these:

“Follow me.” Snape said in a deadly whisper.

“Follow me,” Snape said in a deadly whisper.

“Yes, sir.” Muttered Harry finally admitting defeat.

“Yes, sir,” muttered Harry finally admitting defeat.

Oh the plus side, 

On the plus side,

“Professor,” Said Harry impulsively “Did you know Sirius Black or something? It sounded like-”

“Professor,” said Harry impulsively. “Did you know Sirius Black or something? It sounded like-”

“What’s that Potter?” Said Snape.

“What’s that Potter?” said Snape.

“It is my business!” Screamed Harry, 

“It is my business!” screamed Harry. 

“You are better informed on the topic then I thought.” Said Snape.

“You are better informed on the topic then I thought,” said Snape.

This was fine:

Harry scoffed. “I was plenty safe,

Fix this:

“Yes, a school that Black has already broken into once in search of you.” Said Snape 

“Yes, a school that Black has already broken into once in search of you,” said Snape. 

“So let him catch me then.” Said Harry. “I don’t care! Maybe- Maybe…”

“So let him catch me then,” said Harry. “I don’t care! Maybe- maybe…”

“Maybe what Mr. Potter?”

“Maybe what, Mr. Potter?”

This is fine:

“If he caught you, I imagine you would be dead.” Snape gave him another assessing look. 

Want revenge? thought Harry, no I want so much more than that. 

Want revenge? thought Harry. No I want so much more than that. 

“That son of a bitch took my parents.” Said Harry.

“That son of a bitch took my parents,” said Harry.

“Look, I know you know I heard you with McGonagall.” Said Harry, 

“Look, I know you know I heard you with McGonagall,” said Harry, 

This is fine:

“So what, Mr. Potter?” growled Snape.

Fix this, 'Professor' is a title. It is capitalized when used as a name or title, lowercase when it's a job and 'the' is in front of it like 'the professor':

So, I invite him to find me, professor, 

So, I invite him to find me, Professor, 

“Help me catch him.” Said Harry more evenly. 

“Help me catch him,” said Harry more evenly. 

“You hate him.” asserted Harry. 

“You hate him,” asserted Harry. 

You don't use semicolons in speech.

“Well, Potter, you have surprised me; and that does not happen often.”

“Well, Potter, you have surprised me, and that does not happen often.”

“You seriously want me to use you as bait to catch Black, so that you can exact some revenge.” Said Snape.

“You seriously want me to use you as bait to catch Black, so that you can exact some revenge,” said Snape.

“Yes.” Hissed Snape.

“Yes,” hissed Snape.