I think vernon's reaction fit, it didn't seem over the top to me.
vernon is a stuffy douchebag ass hole. you have him perfectly portrayed.
how is snape going to help harry? i can't wait to read the next chapter!
Oh my god. This made me cry. I will continue reading in a minute but I need to tell you that I cried for 5 minutes straights besides knowing Harry was still there... somehow. It just broke my heart to know everyone else's broke when seeing Harry... dead...
God. This made me so sad.
| Title: An Unlikely Ally
| 22 Jun 2008 8:36 am
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| Reviewer: Missy Eye (Anonymous)
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| Title: An Unlikely Ally
| 06 Jun 2007 5:39 am
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| Reviewer: AnnieT (Anonymous)
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Poor Sirius - you made me cry! Wow story so far. Typical Vernon with the funeral - thought you were spot on with his comments.
Nooooooo! Why with the cliffy?! I love this!
I wonder why Harry didn't physically try to get back into his body after the accident, like notice that "he" wasn't where he was supposed to be and try to put himself back in himself. How much time passed from when Harry was hit and the Dursley's came to the hospital? I felt as if it would have.. umm flowed better if something showed that Harry was waiting there for awhile. Vernon's reaction was just fine, perfect almost. When the Wizards came... that was a very sad sight, and beautifully done. I think that you forgot to mention Harry's glasses though, I didn't know if they were on Harry's face or not and I think that that would be a little bit important to mention since it's part of Harry's identity. Umm.. the witches and wizards stopping and seeing Dumbledore with Harry seemed a little out of place. It seemed as if they all knew and stopped, instead of the probably curiousness they would show if Dumbledore were so sad and were carrying a boy.. and only the people close would have realized that it were Harry. Which would have made them shocked and maybe pass on the information to everyone else- and if Dumbledore wanted to keep it quiet, wouldn't they have hidden Harry's identity, covered his face so that no one would know? That was just something that didn't seem so realistic.
This was an awesome chapter. You managed to capture the emotions and feel of it perfectly. The hurt.. Harry's so frightened aas well he should be. Thank you for remembering that even though he's a hero, Harry is still a child. Snape was done wonderfully. Sirius... poor Sirius. This was such a dramatic chapter. I loved how you handled Snape learning the information, the series of events as each person found out. And the end, when Snape heard the sobbing and investigated and found Potter... I loved that part. Such a great chapter.
Love it! Please update soon!
~Torina
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