| Title: New Bedrooms and Bedtime stories
| 21 Mar 2005 9:38 pm
|
| Reviewer: Merry Magic (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy reading your story. Five year old Harry is so sweet! And I love the way you portray Severus. I'm also hoping for a Lucius and Draco aperance later on, and that there will be many chapters following.
| Title: New Bedrooms and Bedtime stories
| 21 Mar 2005 7:40 am
|
| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
Aw, sweet chapter! :) That's such a magical bedroom, Harry will probably wake up and think it all a dream. :) What a lucky boy. I can only imagine what it had been like when the people came over to fix Harry's room and the Dursley's were wondering what was going on. Haha! Maybe they knocked on the door and a poor worker opened it and they started yelling. Poor workers. Once Harry has his bathroom he won't have any reason to leave his room except for going to school, which he doesn't do yet. Would that make him a quiet and reclusive child? Harry staying in his room quietly for two weeks, not interacting with anyone except for hearing the Dursleys moving about, waiting for the second weekend when his father would come get him and take him out... It's a sad and almost scary picture. I wonder how he will develop as a child. This has been a really sweet chapter. Thanks for posting it!
I really liked the description of the forest mural desgn and how the branches would go over the bed, creating a sort of a canopy. That's truly magical. I liked the stores that they visited- they were really unique. The bathroom in the closet is a neat idea. You added a degree of reality by adding in that it couldn't be done right away and that it wouldn't be able to be used for the first 24 hours. Muggle is always supposed to be capitalized.
It would be really interesting to speculate and see what the strange arrangements Harry would have growing up might affect him. Psychology-wise. He would be a child yet his current guardians would be over showed and corrected by a man who would only see him once every other weekend. While they had an abusive background to Harry, now his main disciplinarians wouldn't really be able to discipline him for the things that a normal child would be disciplined for either. If Harry didn't like anything they did, he would be able to run away to his room and hide in it (if it had a locking charm or if the house elf were around) and he would be able to complain to his 'Papa' who would listen to him solely and do something about it. There is a lot of potential for abuse by Harry.
| Title: Time to Redecorate
| 21 Mar 2005 7:14 am
|
| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
Aww, that's going to be a sweet room! :) Some things in this chapter felt more staged... like the Owl appearing, and the mentions of the Dursley's reactions. I liked how Harry had a quandary over whether to tell the truth about his room, and how Snape got him to tell him truthfully. I also liked the way in which Snape just decided that the second bedroom would be Harry's from now on. The book lettering rearranging themselves was really cool. I liked Harry's thoughts about preschool and learning letters. It really added to his character in showing a childhood issue as well as what Harry wanted to do.
| Title: And they think I am an unfit parent?
| 21 Mar 2005 7:02 am
|
| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
I liked how Petunia gave a potentially insulting 'that brat isn't half the child my son is' and Snape shot back with a literal “Thank god for small favors!”. Witty. I felt that Snape had a little too many juvinille insults. In one of the paragraphs he described the Dursleys as being a type of anime in almost every sentence. I like how Snape is taking charge and providing for his son, giving him everything he can. This chapter ended on another weird note, but I enjoyed it and I'm glad that there's more chapters to read. :)
Yay Severus has come for Harry! :) I liked the way Harry remembered his Papa.. the memory about the Snitch was cute. Your descriptions were done well. This chapter was a little too short though. I felt like it was cut off right in the middle.
Oh, poor Harry! :( This was a short chapter but i think that it set up and showed the situation Harry was in and his character enough. There was the child sweetness about having milk, the punishment, the toys and the explanation of Harry's chore list that all added depth to this chapter.
Ah! Nice chapter! :) I liked your portrayal of Snape and Dumbledore's characters. I love how Snape called Harry his 'baby'. Dumbledore (and you) were really clever to think of giving up the holidays once Harry started school in pretense. I like this version of Snape. On to read more! :)
By the way, we're looking into adding chapter e-mail alerts before the next version of e-fiction comes out since I don't think that we can wait that long.
hehe. green...nice color. good chapter.
:D nice chapter. Go Serverus.
|