I am so excited!! I was lalmost late for work this morning because I had just got your E-mail and I read chapters 2 and 3. I really enjoy Snape and Dumbledore in the last 2 chapters. (And I'm not a big fan of Dumbledore...I love it that you have portrayed him as he is in this books, were he doesn't let on the things that he knows...{how he knew about the spanking but dind't let on}). I also enjoyed it how Hermione always knew what Harry was thinking and I don't think that I said this in the first chapter, but I also thought that it was so "Hermione" to be the one to say that they needed to get to the castle and to Dumbledore. Ron is also a great character, I like it that that you have made him oblivious to everything that is around him.I do think that Harry is a little bit too over emotional but he is still in his third year and I that its just me who would notice this because I keep on thinking that he is 16 years old, but he isn't.Another thing, but this is just my personal pet peeve...in dialogue I think since Harry, Ron and, Hermione are still teenagers they wouldn't see things like {in sentences, not as lone words} "is not" "are not" I think that it would be better if you would have them say "isn't" "Aren't" "can't" "Doesn't".....But that is just my opinion, many of my friends write the way that you do, but I think that it would make the story more believable. Well anyway I loved the chapters and was very excited to read them. Now I think that I will go read them again. This morning I kept refreashing the page to see if you had updated the story...I really like it, in the summary it sayd that Snape is gogint to adopt Harry and I just CAN'T wait for that to happen. Thank you for the update SO MUCH. And please don't make this HBP, (if you have read it already I would be happy to tell you why I don't think that it should be) but there is still much time before that starts up. Good luck with your muse, I hope that you have the chapter out real soon!
~Americanpie
Author's Response: I cannot possibly find words to describe how much beaming I am now doing after reading your review. Thanks a lot. I will see what I can do to make them more .. er .. "teenager compliant" LOL! Thanks again. Also concerning HBP, it is a loooooooong time yet before deciding what to do with it. I have read it (only once now) but will read it once again and will be happy to share my thoughts with you.
I thought that I would die last night when I had noticed that you had updated and I had thought that you had added in another chapter or lengthened the one that you have now. I was so upset that you hadn't added a chapter. I put the HBP down so that I could see if you had updated. Very disapointing to find out that you hadn't, but very glad that you take the advise of your reviewers. PLEASE update as soon as possible! I'm like addicted
~Americanpie
Author's Response: Hello Amricanpie. Thank you so much. I really REALLY appreciate what you have written and it made me feel like grinning for at least hours!!
Now for your question. yes I have reposted teh first chapter after proof reading and I have as well asdded a second chapter - I do not know why it did not appear. I have just send the site an email to inquire. As soon as that is answered, you will find another chapter, and a third in no time as well. Thanks again.
| Title: The werewolf Incident
| 16 Jul 2005 11:52 pm
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| Reviewer: 'Mes (Anonymous)
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Really enjoyed this, love that you set it at the werewolf scene, great starting point for a Harry/Severus mentor/guardian fic.
Liked Severus' internal dialogue. And Harry deserved the spanking for scaring Severus out of his wits like that.
Really hope you decide to continue this. Look forward - hopefully - to more.
Author's Response: Wow. I am blushing now! Thank you so much.
I think that you need to proof-read a little bit better. Thought that the characters were portrayed well. Can't wait for the next update.
~Americanpie
Author's Response: Thank you. I will be reposting teh first chapter again after a bit of proofereading.
| Title: The werewolf Incident
| 15 Jul 2005 4:24 pm
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| Reviewer: Rachel (Anonymous)
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I really liked the idea. More thorough proof-reading would help - I look forward to your next update.
Author's Response: Thank you. I have already done a bit of proof reading and will repost the first chapter again. Sorry about that.
| Title: The werewolf Incident
| 15 Jul 2005 3:19 pm
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| Reviewer: Megg (Anonymous)
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A bold and interesting start. I am curious where you will take it :)
Author's Response: Thank you. I am curious too whee the muse will take me.
| Title: The werewolf Incident
| 15 Jul 2005 7:12 am
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| Reviewer: Kateri (Anonymous)
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Nice idea, I've always been of the opion that the shrieking shack was a great jump off point for HP/SS au's. It's a bit jumpy with snape throwing in all the stuttering and stuff but definetly a promising begining
Author's Response: Thanks a lot. I hope you enjoy it.
| Title: The werewolf Incident
| 15 Jul 2005 4:49 am
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| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
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Haha! LOL, now I get your summary, the "bottom" of things indeed. Maybe I should create another warning category for corporal punishment for you. oh well. I could tell that this story is and will be very unique and original. Great beginning! It was very tense filled, and it moved very quickly. The writing could of been better, but the great action and the movement and plot made up for it nicely. There were a couple of typos so you may want to edit more closely in the future chapters. I liked it a lot. I'm going to give you a 7. Can't wait to read more! :D
Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review. Right, I will reread it for typos and any other mistakes. Glad you liked it. Adding the CP warning is a great idea too.
And can you please tell me what you mean by writing can be better? Any ideas will be appreciated to make it more enjoyable.
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