this is a good fic, it could use some more fleshing out and a little tweaking, if you would like, i'd be happy to beta for you
| Title: Revelations
| 28 Jan 2007 2:16 am
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| Reviewer: Immy (Anonymous)
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I really like where this is going. I like how it is an anomaly from so many other severitus fics where dmbledore or someone asks harry about it and he answers. Here, dumble dore TELLS harry to talk, and he refuses. Much more likely to happen. I wish the chaps were longer though...
An interesting beginning, but I am uncomfortable with the scene in the hospital. Madam Pomfrey shouldn't reveal Harry's condition to Dumbledore and Snape because it violates doctor-patient confidentiality. I think that normally the only persons she could tell would be Harry's official guardians and while they aren't suitable in this instance, that doesn't mean that she would tell his professors while he's standing right there. Other than that, however, I think that this story has potential and I'd like to read more of it.
| Title: Revelations
| 27 Apr 2006 6:21 pm
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| Reviewer: Catti666 (Anonymous)
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That was really good beginning, it would develope a lovely story. I'm looking forward to hear more from you!
| Title: Revelations
| 24 Apr 2006 7:49 pm
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| Reviewer: Maryaminx (Anonymous)
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I would be willing to check your grammar, spelling, etc., but I've never actually beta'd before so I don't know what sort of help I'd be with your content. If you're interested, you can contact me at mkennedy24158@yahoo.com I could look over your work until you find a proper beta.
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