Severus returned to his quarters to watch his sleeping son after the stressful meeting in Albus’ office and sat on the edge of his bed, deep in thought as he watched the innocent face. His life had changed so much, was it only four short months ago that he had first laid eyes on that battered baby?
He found it harder and harder each day to torment his students, he had little patience for bullying, even that done by his Slytherins, and he no longer tolerated any behavior that might cause an explosion in class, even if it was sabotage of a Gryffindor potion by his Slytherins. In fact, he was beginning to actually detest some of his more aggressive house members. He had nightmares of his little boy’s beautiful face being scalded by an exploding cauldron; he couldn’t bear to think of the poor child being hurt by something he could have prevented.
Shaun stirred and rolled over in his box. Severus smiled, the issue of the box would be resolved very soon; the boy would simply not fit much longer. He wondered if he should put a small bed in his room to start with, or if he should try to move the boy into the room across the hall from his. The elves had done a wonderful job of choosing quarters for them. Because they were next to the Great Hall they were on an outside corner of the castle and had lovely picture windows that overlooked the back of the grounds and part of the forest from the lounge and library area, and windows in both his and the boy’s bedrooms. Only the bathroom, his private lab and the small eating area and kitchen had blank walls.
He picked up his sleeping son and cradled him softly talking to him, “I was so worried I would loose you tonight when I thought you were Harry Potter. But you are mine, my Shaun, my gift.” And yet, he continued to muse, would it have been so bad if he had been Harry? His guardians, whomever they turned out to be; were obviously less than adequate, there had been no missing child report, the child had been emotionally and physically abused, obviously starved and neglected. He, even as a former spy, would be a much better guardian than the one’s the boy had previously. He just had to convince the Ministry of that, and of course, that small voice in his head, the one that kept telling him he didn’t deserve this happiness and the love of a small boy.
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Two days after Arabella dropped the bombshell about Harry Potter being missing; Severus and Shaun were ready for their first Halloween together. Severus had been drafted to be a chaperon for the first Hogsmeade day of the year. He had explained to Shaun that he just had to supervise in the village, he didn’t have to stay with the students, and that he would take the small boy to visit Honeyduke’s candy store and the bookstore for some new books. Severus thought it would be much better if he had Nippy pack them a picnic than to try to feed the small boy without anyone noticing in the Three Broomsticks.
Severus had shrunk the picnic basket and both of their cloaks and Shaun’s toy broomstick before leaving their quarters, and placed them into his robe pocket. Now they only had to get through breakfast and then he could carry Shaun down to Hogsmeade and get there well before the students were released at ten a.m. He didn’t think Shaun could manage the long walk across the grounds and then remain awake for the whole day without being too tired, so he would carry the child to the village before anyone from the castle could notice them. At least his shift at supervision was over at two, so he could turn the responsibility over to Hagrid and put Shaun down for a nap before the late night they were sure to have.
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Breakfast began well enough, except for the third years and above being excited about going to Hogsmeade later, but Severus should have known it was too good to last. Since Shaun now ate at the small table the house elves had placed for him behind the staff table, Severus was not quite as aware of where Shaun was at all times. And Shaun had lost an awful lot of his shyness and fear over the last four months. Now his natural curiosity, and bubbling cheerfulness was starting to shine through and sometimes take over his good sense.
Shaun had finished his breakfast, and Daddy was still busy talking to Minerva and Albus when the child noticed someone new sitting down at the far end of the table. She must be a Professor he thought, but she looks really funny, all dressed in scarves and big round glasses. She sorta looks like a big bug with them. Shaun didn’t ever remember her sitting at the breakfast table before, and he wondered if she would be nice like Minerva and Albus or scary like that dreadful Mr. Filch. Maybe she only looked scary like Hagrid?
Shaun walked down the table, being careful not to touch anyone, and stood watching the weird lady. He saw that she had dropped her napkin, so he picked it up and tapped her on the shoulder politely and held up her napkin by one corner. He knew she couldn’t hear anything that he said, so he didn’t bother saying anything to her.
She turned at his touch, took one look at the floating napkin and screamed, which scared poor Shaun. He jumped backwards knocking poor little Professor Flitwick off of his pillow. Filius waved his arms wildly trying to catch his balance before crashing forward, face first into the large bowl of porridge. He flailed his arms, pushing the tablecloth forward, and dumping the entire left end of the staff table full of food, plates, goblets and silverware onto the students sitting on the ends of the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw house tables, and spinning the right end of the tablecloth to dump its contents on the chests and laps of the staff sitting at the other end from him.
The weird lady was still screaming so Shaun was trying to pat her to calm her down, just like his daddy patted him when he was scared, but she wouldn’t stand still, she kept squealing and jumping around, until she fell off the end of the platform that elevated the staff table and fell full length, slipping and sliding in the spilled food, down the middle of the Gryffindor table, sending showers of food over more of the students. The students that were now covered in breakfast were getting mad at the rest of the students who were laughing at them; so the messy ones started throwing food at the laughing ones, and the Hogwarts all house food fight was on!
Shaun gave up on calming the weird lady down; he couldn’t see anything over the staff table, so he had gone back to his chair to see if the house elves had sent him another cinnamon roll. When Severus stopped laughing at Albus, who had been drenched with pumpkin juice and had a platter of fried eggs on his lap, and turned around to check on his son, Shaun was calmly eating a cinnamon roll.
Severus stood up and spelled the eggs, bacon and tea off of his robes before helping Professor McGonagall clean the bowl of porridge out of her hair and off of her glasses. The Headmaster finally stopped laughing at Professor Trelawney covered in bubble and squeak, scrambled eggs and pumpkin juice, laying face down sprawled across the Gryffindor house table that she had slid halfway down; and called for ‘Silence’ in the Great Hall. There was a fried egg dripping it’s yolk down his beard, he had a slice of bacon hanging from the side of his hat and he was literally dripping in pumpkin juice, but he was still an imposing figure, and he was the Headmaster. The students all froze.
“Prefects, please return your housemates to their common rooms. Every house will be assigned the cleaning of the Great Hall each night for one week, starting with Gryffindor beginning tomorrow evening after dinner. Now, go get cleaned up, I believe that Hogsmeade is waiting. And don’t forget to leave room for the feast at the Halloween Party tonight!”
The students didn’t wait to be told to leave twice; they thought they had gotten off lightly for such a stupendous food fight! After the last of the students left the room, the staff looked at each other, several started to snort, then giggle, and before many seconds had passed, they were all laughing soundly. Albus looked pointedly at where Pomona Sprout and Professor Vector were helping Sybil climb down from the Gryffindor table, she was so slippery they were having a hard time even holding on to her. He managed to calm down long enough to sputter, “I couldn’t really punish them too much for a food fight that was begun by a professor, now could I.”
The group was still laughing as they started spelling the mess away, but had managed to calm down before the exit of Sybil Trelawney stalked out of the room, scowling in a very poor imitation of Severus Snape, muttering under her breath about, ‘Never eating in here again, evil spirits gathered here, attacking innocent people…’ The peals of laughter that began again at her disgruntled, completely incomprehensible raving only strengthened her resolve to never leave the safety of her tower ever again.
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The Headmaster had waved off Severus’ offer of help in cleaning the Great Hall and told him to go enjoy the day in Hogsmeade with his son, so the two walked carefully through the mess and out the doors. At least none of the students were there to witness two sets of footprints, one large and one very small, slipping and slopping through the very unappetizing slurry of thrown and spilled food on the floor of the castle that led straight out the front doors and across the lawns.
Severus stopped at the bottom step and swung Shaun up on one hip, throwing his voluminous cloak across his shoulders to completely hide the fact that his elbow was bent and he was obviously holding something close to his chest with the other hand. He was enjoying the late fall sun and listening with only half an ear as Shaun babbled on about what he was going to find in the small village.
If he had been paying attention, he might have noticed that Shaun was talking about always being left locked in his cupboard while his cousin Dudley got to go shopping with his Aunt Petunia, but nothing the small boy was babbling about actually registered in his conscious mind. He was still trying to figure out what had set off that disgusting fraud, Sybil Trelawney this morning. Though the memories of her sliding face first down Gryffindor table, food flying all around her would always remain among one of his fondest memories, and he knew he would think of it whenever he had to deal with that charlatan ever again.
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Severus would have rather kissed Sybil Trelawney than admit that he had actually enjoyed the morning with Shaun looking wide eyed and so excited at his first sight of Honeyduke’s. And Severus would never admit that he had enjoyed buying an assortment of unusual treats, as well as a stock of chocolate, to share with his son. They had been able to arrive at the candy store well before the first of the students, and the staff had been way too busy setting up stocks and filling displays for the upcoming hordes of invading students to notice the way Professor Snape held his hands or kept his cloak closed about his chest.
The two Snapes had left and made their way through the small village to the less frequented bookstore when they could see the first of the Hogwarts students appear in the streets. Severus had asked the bookseller to set a small table and a chair up next to the front window so that he could read and keep an eye on the street in front of him. Shaun sat between his feet so no one would step on him and had his own book strategically hidden from view under his daddy’s cloak, which was draped down the back of his chair to pool on the floor.
They spent most of their supervisory time in peaceful reading until Severus noticed three sixth year girls, one Hufflepuff and two Slytherins, shouting and then pulling hair in front of the window. He quickly told Shaun to stay where he was and to keep under the table so no one would trip over him or find him, and went out, snarl firmly in place to stop the cat fight.
Shaun stayed hunched under the table even though the noise of the fight was frightening him and reminding him of his uncle’s yelling. He cringed back and almost bumped the legs of a third year Ravenclaw who had sat down in his daddy’s chair and dropped his heavy shopping bag from the apothecary shop, spilling the contents under the table. Shaun kept backing up under his daddy’s cloak as the student crawled under the table trying to retrieve all of his dropped ingredients.
“What have we here, a little boy all by himself? And taking the only table in the whole place, we can’t have that can we, guys.” Shaun had thought for a moment that the three very big guys were talking about him, but it seemed they were bullying the one in his daddy’s chair. The three Slytherins started stomping on the third year’s purchases, crushing all of his potions ingredients that had spilled out all over the place. A sickening greenish grey cloud began to form just as Professor Snape swept into the bookstore. He stalked over towards the table, took in the scene in one furious glance, and casting a ‘sonorous’ charm called for the immediate evacuation of the store.
“Everyone leave the premises immediately, there has been a potentially dangerous potions spill! Leave everything and head outside! NOW!” He took note of the four students involved as he cast a series of spells to clear the air and an ‘evanesco’ to remove the left over jumbled mess of ingredients from the floor.
He looked around to make sure everyone had left and went to pick up his belongings, only then finding the unconscious form of his son completely covered by his fallen cloak. He scooped up the limp child and apperated immediately to the gates of Hogwarts. Not caring who could see him, he ran cradling his child and calling for him to wake up all the way to the fourth floor infirmary. He crashed though the double doors and yelled, “Poppy, I need you, now! There has been an accident in Hogsmeade.”
Poppy came running out of her office, her wand at the ready, sure she would find every bed full of injured students; only to find one distraught potions master with his hands full of invisible toddler. “Oh dear, what happened to him, Severus?”
“I don’t know for certain, there were three seventh year Slytherins crushing a bag full of potions ingredients that Mr. Cooper had apparently just purchased at the apothecary shop. I cleared the shop and the cloud of noxious smoke, and then I got rid of the mess, I forgot about him being there Poppy, I don’t deserve to have him. I should have kept the mess to analyze what effect it had, but I didn’t. How could I forget he was waiting for me, I’m no better than his relatives, what have I done, what have I done…”
Poppy slapped him across the face, “Get a grip, I need your help here, I can’t see him! I need you to tell me what I can’t see. My wand is only an approximation, I go by sight and sound as well and I’m blind and deaf with him. I need you, Severus, he needs you!”
Severus still looked like he might break down again, but he closed his eyes, took a couple of deep breaths and began to describe his son to the medi witch. “He’s pale, and clammy. His pulse is racing, but he is breathing very shallowly.” He took another moment to assess his son, “His eyes are rolled back in his head, and I can’t even see his pupils to tell you if they react to light or not. Wait a moment, NIPPY!” He sent the elf to bring back Mr. Cooper. He told him to send another elf to tell Albus, Minerva and Hagrid to come to the hospital ward; that he needed to see them immediately. Nippy nodded and left to fulfill his orders.
Poppy had given Severus three strengthening potions; two to help the boy’s breathing, and one to slow his heartbeat down. She couldn’t do much more until she knew exactly what the child had inhaled. Nippy popped into the hospital wing, Mr. Cooper tightly clutched in his arms.
The poor third year looked like he had just left a particularly nasty roller coaster ride, as green as his face was, he looked like he needed a bed too. And the irate face of his potions master as he appeared from around the end of a curtained bed didn’t help the green of his face either or the sinking feeling deep within his gut.
“Mr. Cooper, you are not in trouble, I understand Rockwood, Ames, and McKnight were destroying your ingredients, and you had nothing to do with it. But I need to know exactly what you had so that I may brew an antidote for someone who inhaled the fumes. Can you tell me everything that was in the bag?”
“Yes, sir…eh...well…” Michael was unable to speak but he managed to pull out a crumpled parchment from his pocket and handed over a list of the items that he had purchased, including strengths and amounts.
“Excellent, Mr. Cooper and twenty points to Ravenclaw for your meticulous record keeping. You are excused now; you may return to Hogsmeade or go to your common room. Please have the apothecary shop replace these items and have them charged to the school account.” Severus conjured a slip of parchment and a quill and scribbled a short note to the shop and thrust in into the still shell shocked boy’s hands. Severus had managed to appear calm and professional only by squashing all of his emotions down with an iron will.
Severus ran around the end of the curtain scanning the list as he went, “Poppy it’s salamander scales and eye of yellow lizard mixed with belladonna and tubeworm slime. You will need to give him an invigoration draft and essence of murtlap while I brew the antidote. He will need chest clearing spells almost constantly to keep him breathing while I brew this, unfortunately it will take about two hours to finish.”
Albus, Minerva, and Hagrid came into the infirmary in a rush, not knowing what to expect. They looked around the curtain to find Severus feeding potions to his son, at least that’s what they thought he was doing.
Albus was immediately at Severus’ side, “What happened, you were both in Hogsmeade weren’t you?”
He nodded, “Minerva, I need you to collect Rockwood, Ames, and McKnight from Hogsmeade. They thought to harass Michael Cooper. They started stepping and crushing his bag of potions ingredients he had just purchased from the apothecary shop when they found him alone in Flourish & Blotts. I had left Shaun under a table in the front window while I went to break up a fight between three girls over a ‘stolen boyfriend’ and had instructed him not to leave. The ingredients mixed together to form a poisonous gas and he stayed there and breathed it in. Albus, I told him to stay there no matter what and now I’ve poisoned my own child, I don’t deserve to have him!” He was on an emotional roller coaster, one moment he was able to function and knew exactly what to do, the next he was falling apart and totally helpless.
Poppy stopped working on Shaun for a moment and realized that Severus was on the edge of going into shock. She summoned a calming draught, “Get this down him, Albus, the boy needs him to brew the antidote, I certainly can’t! And I don’t know anyone else in the country that could!”
Albus forced Severus to drink the potion and waited for the several seconds it took to begin to calm the upset man down, “Now you do deserve the love of this boy, Severus, he chose you and only you! And he needs you now!”
Albus put his arm around Severus and looked over his shoulder at the other two, “Hagrid, I need you to begin your shift in the village early, and Minerva, if you would collect those three boys and then wait with them in my office? I am certain that Severus can think of a fitting punishment for the three.”
Poppy went back to the child, “Severus, I need you to evaluate how these potions are working, and then I need you to brew the antidote, can you keep yourself together long enough to do that, please?”
Albus led the now much calmer man over to his son’s bedside. “He has a little more color and he is no longer clammy. His pulse is slower, but he is still having difficulty breathing, shallow and labored.” Poppy muttered a quick spell, “How’s that now?”
“Better; and his eyes are equal and reactive to the light. I just pinched his arm and he squirmed and moaned, so he is not as deeply unconscious as he was. If you put your hand on his chest you should be able to tell how he is breathing, but call me if you even suspect you might need me Poppy. If I could brew this in the hospital wing I would, but it’s just too complicated and needs too many ingredients. Albus, will you stay with him, he seems to trust you too. I would hate for him to wake up alone. I need to go, I need to…” He left the hospital wing, still talking to himself.
Albus sat down on a quickly conjured rocking chair and asked Poppy if the boy could lay on his lap so he could feel instantly if anything changed about him. She quickly agreed with the idea, knowing the boy would feel much better being held. She covered them both with a thick blanket and went to contact St. Mungo’s about any different spells to help with the child’s labored breathing.
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In his lab, Severus set up a gold cauldron and began summoning ingredients, talking to himself. He had gotten so used to talking constantly to Shaun over the last four months that it seemed unnatural for him to remain silent while brewing any more.
“Murtlap essence and finely powdered daisy roots; simmer and stir in knotgrass. If I add three drops of dragon blood and dried moonstone, I need to stir twenty times counter-clockwise.” He continued adding and stirring, carefully watching the potion as if his very life depended upon it. Ginger and flaxseed, lionfish and powdered scarab beetles all made it into the brew. He finally added the powdered bezoars; finished the last clockwise stir and simmered the sparkling blue potion. He was watching the final simmer, wracking his brain for anything he might have forgotten when with a flash, Fawkes, Dumbledore’s phoenix, appeared and added three small tears to the gold cauldron. The potion shimmered and turned crystal clear. Severus cast a cooling charm, bottled the brew and took off at a run towards the infirmary. He didn’t even notice when he knocked down two small first year Gryffindors in his rush to return to his boy.
He practically flew through the doors and slid to a stop at the curtain. Albus Dumbledore was sitting in a padded rocking chair, holding his son to his chest; a single tear tracing its way down his cheek. Fear gripped Severus’ chest, he could feel his heart pounding against his chest, hammering his ribs. He had been too late, his boy, his reason for living, the only one who trusted him and loved him unconditionally; was dead. He had been too slow, it was all his fault!