And so now, there he was, before the Headmaster, to ask a question that he had heard several others ask and heard Dumbledore’s response to several times. Harry knew that, when asked whether he trusted Snape, Dumbledore never hesitated, never wavered in his trust of the man. When asked why though, Dumbledore would only say that the reasons were between he and Snape, but that it left him with no doubt of the man’s loyalties. The difference here was that Harry finally realized that he trusted Snape too, at least in the way the others questioned.

The problem was that Harry had become resolved since hearing the prophecy. He needed allies and answers and training and after last night, he grudgingly admitted that Snape would make a powerful ally in those regards, although a slightly unpleasant one. But in order to gauge what he could expect from Snape, he had to know more about the man. And since Snape hated him, he was determined to get his answers from Dumbledore. He also thought that he should know more about the man that he would be living with for the rest of the summer.

But how to phrase the question to get anything from the Headmaster, that was the question? He didn’t have a right to any of this information. This would have to be done diplomatically, something Harry had minimal experience in. But necessity had always served him before.

Well, here goes, he thought.

"Professor, I wanted to talk to you about a few things actually. I think that the second will interest you, but I won’t discuss that before I have answers to the first issue."

There, he thought, chew on that. I can be Slytherin too.

Before the Headmaster could interrupt, he continued. "I've heard the others ask you why you trust...Professor Snape." He reasoned it was best to show respect so he wasn't misunderstood, which is why he paused to add Snape’s title.

"I’m beginning to understand why too. I...I trust that he’s on our side now. Maybe I should have before, but I could never get past his words, the way he treats me and just look at his actions. I think that's the problem everyone has. My trouble is, I know he's on the right side. I...just don't know what to expect."

Here he was interrupted, "Harry, perhaps you should speak to Professor Snape about this."

"Professor Snape hates me, sir."

"Harry, I don't think..."

"You will please at least concede that from where I sit, him hating me is a fair assessment." On this, he refused to budge. And he sent a silent thanks to Hermione for that turn of phrase. So far; so good.

Dumbledore looked thoughtful but did not respond, so Harry continued.

"You told me about the prophecy. So now, I've been trying to live with it so I can, well, live. I've thought about it and I realized that I have a lot to learn and I need allies. I don't like it, but after last night, I think that Professor Snape could really help me, if he wanted to. I mean, he knows more about the Death Eaters than anyone else. And...I saw him fighting last night sir. It was...incredible, and I think...I think I need to learn how to do that, at least some of that. But I don't know anything about him and I know he won't tell me.”

He looked down at his lap as he said the next part. “Something happened last year, and well…anyway, I really messed up and I don't think he would ever willingly talk to me. But then something happened last night that I don't understand and I think if I knew more about Professor Snape, well I'd understand it better."

He knew that he had rambled that last part out, but he had not exactly planned what he was going to say, which in hindsight, was probably not very clever at all. And the reminder of the pensieve incident, along with Snape’s thoroughly unsettling spell last night, made him feel slightly embarrassed and unsure of himself.

"What happened last night Harry?" Dumbledore asked kindly.

"That was the second thing I wanted to talk to you about sir and I think I'd rather address one issue at a time."

Dumbledore was surprised to say the least. Harry was expressing himself rather well this morning. He didn't really know how to respond. But he believed that Harry had to be answered. There were only two people that Albus trusted completely and believed wholly in their abilities and they were Harry and Severus. He thought about how this war might go if the two of them worked together. Albus truly believed that Harry could find some way to defeat Voldemort and he also had no doubt that Severus would not only keep Harry safe until then, but could also be invaluable in helping Harry find answers. And it wasn't like he was keeping any secrets for the man any longer, now that he was no longer a spy.

"Harry, what you have to understand is that your Professor is a very private person. He has rarely spoken about his past or his motivations. All I have learned about him I have learned by observing the results of his actions, which are almost always good. I don't think he has ever shared those things with anyone. I can tell you quite a bit about what he has done for this war, this school and even yourself. As for his motivations though, that is something that you will have to speak with him about yourself."

Harry was surprised but simply motioned with a nod for the Headmaster to continue. He was finally getting answers and he didn't want to interrupt.

"First of all, Harry, I find it very hard to believe that Professor Snape hates you, despite how it seems to you. He has watched over you more than you realize I think. He may not always go about protecting you in a conventional manner, but I assure you that from where I sit, he has always appeared to be motivated by, if not your happiness, at least your safety. In fact," and here the Headmaster smiled a little, "he and I have argued about you on more than one occasion but maybe not quite about what you would expect."

"What do you mean, sir, ‘not quite what I'd expect?'"

"I mean that you both seem to agree that you needed more information over the years, although I imagine he had slightly different reasons. He seemed to think that if you had more of the facts, that you would put more effort into staying safe and going to adults for help instead of doing things by yourself. I now regret not listening to him more."

Harry was slightly taken aback at first, but after some more thought it made sense. Professor Snape didn't seem like the type of man to spare someone's feelings, even a child's, if there was more benefit to be gained by not doing so. He had sure never worried about sparing Harry's feelings in the past. And the Headmaster was right; the arguments were not quite what Harry would have expected. In fact, he wouldn't have been surprised to hear that Snape had argued for his expulsion on a daily basis. There was definitely a lot about Snape that he didn't understand at all.

The Headmaster was continuing though. "I have kept Professor Snape's secrets for a long time. In fact, the whole Order has. But I believe that even they do not fully realize the magnitude of his services to this war. I have hoped for a long time that he would get the recognition that he deserved for all of his hard work. And I am relieved beyond expression that he no longer has to spy. The tactician in me mourns the loss. I have always valued his information. Indeed, at times, it was often the deciding factor of survival for many people and that information will be sorely missed. But I have often thought that it came at too great a price for Severus."

"Headmaster?" Harry interrupted. "Why did Professor Snape join Voldemort? And why did he change sides?" That was what he really wanted to know.

The Headmaster got a stern look on his face then. "Harry, what you are asking about is most likely deeply personal for Severus." The stern look faded though, to be replaced by a thoughtful look. "In all honesty Harry, I do not even know the circumstances of these decisions. Indeed, him coming to us, the Order that is, probably happened in a manner most unlike what many would imagine."

He knew a little more than he had implied perhaps, but not much more. Indeed, most of what he did know was speculation. There were several issues (and people) that Severus refused to discuss.

When it appeared that the Headmaster would not go on, Harry asked, "Well, how did he come to be in the Order sir?"

Albus sighed then. The truth was that he wanted Harry to know. He wanted the boy to respect Severus like the man deserved and he thought that Severus deserved understanding. Indeed, he looked forward to the day when the war was over and he could proclaim to the world how brave and good Severus Snape was. He had had his doubts long ago, but over the years, they had left him and in their place had been born a trust that rarely even existed between families.

He took a moment to decide though. He would never betray Severus' trust. But he didn't believe telling Harry a little about Severus would be a betrayal, although the man would certainly not appreciate it. Still, Harry was here, and he was sincerely curious about his Professor. If ever there was a time to change Harry's perception of Severus, now was it. The boy seemed to want Severus Snape redeemed in fact, and Albus believed that he could do just that.

"But where to begin?" he mumbled out loud and Harry knew that he would be getting answers.

Albus peered at Harry over his cup of tea, sighed and then began to speak. "This was a long time ago, just after your parents were married, in fact. I hadn't seen Severus since graduation, but I had little hope then, that he would have turned down being a Death Eater."

The Headmaster had a look on his face as though he were clearly remembering those long ago days. “Of course, I had never really gotten to know him then and I doubt that many people had beyond, his friends in Slytherin.

“I saw him sometimes at school for encounters with your father and his friends and whenever I saw him elsewhere, he was surrounded by other Slytherins, especially the ones that I suspected of having ambitions of becoming Death Eaters. The few times I talked to Severus though, he was as sarcastic and closed off as ever and I began to despair that he'd ever turn away from some dark path. I was especially grieved because I had at times thought that I observed some goodness in him quite unequalled by many children his age.”

The Headmaster paused and Harry found himself wondering what he could have seen in Snape back then that made him think that. Maybe he was just confusing what he knew about Snape now with how he had thought of him at the time?

“I'll never forget his graduation,” the Headmaster continued. “Everyone was excited, except Severus. I tried to talk to him; asked him what his plans were. He told me that nothing was concrete. I told him that I hoped to hear from him from time to time and strangely, unexpectedly, he replied that he expected I would hear from him. Then he walked away from me and from the castle. It was nearly a year later that I understood those cryptic words of his. Indeed, it was nearly a year before I saw Severus again, but I had been unknowingly hearing from him for some months."

The Headmaster stopped for a moment. Harry watched him curiously. It was obvious that this story was one that the Headmaster had wanted to tell for some time. He even told it like a story, as if he had examined the details more than once, and his next words proved that to be the case.

"I have thought a lot about those days Harry. I try to do what I think is best for all of my students and I have analyzed over and over again whether I could have done more for Severus, but the truth that I've learned from this over analysis is that Severus Snape does exactly what he wants to do. And truthfully, I can be nothing but grateful for that fact. I do not know why your Professor joined Voldemort, Harry, but I have suspected for quite some time that he was not loyal to him for very long. But I am getting ahead of myself. Perhaps if I tell you the story, you will find some other explanation."

Harry was now quite in suspense. He could hardly believe that Dumbledore was telling him any of this. "I'd like to hear about it sir," was all he said though.

Dumbledore nodded once and then took a sip of his tea and continued his story.

"The Order was working hard in those days, just as they are now. Your Mother, Father and Sirius joined the Order right out of school. Remus joined months later. Peter never did join and for that I am grateful." Both Dumbledore and Harry had stern looks on their faces just thinking about Pettigrew and all the damage he had done.

"The beginning of that summer was quiet though. Voldemort seemed to be biding his time, for what I will most likely never know. But two months into the summer, Mundungus Fletcher, of all people, came to an Order meeting out of breath claiming that he had just gotten a warning from a concealed man that there was going to be an attack on the Kane family. They were not Order members but they had spoken publicly against Voldemort. We questioned him about the man and argued about the information well into the night. We finally decided that it must have been a trap, but resolved that we would send an owl to warn the Kane family just in case. I'll never regret anything more than that. That very night, hours after the meeting, Fletcher returned to Headquarters with two very young children and a letter from the man that had both warned him earlier and delivered the children to him later. I read it the next night at the Order meeting. I've always kept it in fact."

Here, Dumbledore took something from his desk drawer and handed it to Harry. It was the letter, written in an elegant scrawl.

"Go ahead and read it Harry," the Headmaster said.

Harry held the letter reverently in his hands, wondering what it could possibly say to have affected the Headmaster so much. He turned it over and began reading.

Dear Headmaster,

For I have no doubt that this is who is reading this letter. Last night I warned what I believed to be a member of your ‘Order’ about a planned attack by Death Eaters on the Kane family. I had hoped that I would be able, finally, to rely on others to help stop the success of the Dark Lord's campaign.

Perhaps it is my fault though. I can only think of two possible reasons why you would not help or even warn this family. One; that you do not care and I do not believe that this is true. Two, that you believed my information to be insincere; a trap as it were. I should not have been, but was, surprised to show up at the Kane residence last night to find the family all assembled and quite unaware of the danger to them.

Why, you might ask, did I not inform the family myself? It is for a very simple reason. I have in the past relied on only my self to deal with these situations as they arise. My failures have become quite clear to me over time though, and I resolved to seek out help. I cannot both help the Dark Lord's victims and maintain my source of information in these matters. Therefore I set about researching my best options. I have met you, Headmaster, and while I have not always trusted you, I have always believed your intentions to be good. It was with this in mind that I concluded that it was to you that I would pass on my information. In the end, it seemed safer to send information to you, who can respond in force if needed, rather than placing myself in the position of possibly being seen delivering warnings. Forgive me my secrecy and do not ask me my name. You will either trust me in time or not, but I cannot be more forthcoming without destroying all that I have worked for.

As for these children that have hopefully been delivered to you without further harm, they were the only ones I was able to save. I will not lie and tell you that there was no possible way that I could have saved these children's parents. Nor will I apologize to you, for it is not your forgiveness that I would require. I will say only that, I made a choice of value long ago concerning these matters and the result is that some will live and some will die, but hopefully less than would were it not for my presence. And so I send these children to you as orphans. Do not fear by their dormant state that they are dead. They have merely been given a small dose of the Draught of Living Death.

By handing these children to you rather than sending them to a distant orphanage, I have entrusted my very life to you, for I have no doubt that if it were discovered that they were still alive, I would have much explaining to do. I have taken this risk in the belief that you will allow me to demonstrate in the future the sincerity of my warnings. I realize the position that this may put you in and apologize in advance for the manner in which I must communicate with you.

I can only end this letter by stating that I will, in the future, attempt to send information to you in the safest possible manner, both to myself and to your friends. What you then do with that information will be up to you. I will not, however, make the mistake again, of relying on the trust of others to help me in my endeavors.

Good luck Headmaster.

Sincerely

When Harry finished reading the letter, he didn't know what to say. The words were as elegant and touching as the handwriting had been. He wondered how long Snape had worked on penning that letter.

Harry knew that it had been Professor Snape who had written those words. Who else could it have been? The Headmaster was telling the story of how Snape had become a part of the Order after all. But was it Snape that had written these words? Could it be that Snape had worked against Voldemort alone before he decided that help was necessary?

Harry had always imagined something different. He had thought that perhaps Snape had had a change of heart and come crawling to the Headmaster or that he had been caught somehow and decided to exchange information for freedom. Nothing could have prepared him for the idea that Snape had operated against Voldemort alone and without help, in his very ranks. By Merlin, he must have been surrounded by Death Eaters everyday and had to face Voldemort time and again. And what assurance would he have had if caught by Aurors that his true intentions would be revealed as not those of a Death Eater? Harry knew how trials had progressed during those terrible years. His own Godfather had been convicted without a trial at all.

And Harry thought about those children. He had always known that he was not the only orphan of war. For a moment, Harry was angry that Snape had not tried to save the parents as well, but the anger vanished as he read the letter again.

There it was. "I will not lie and tell you that there was no possible way that I could have saved these children's parents. Nor will I apologize to you, for it is not your forgiveness that I would require. I will say only that, I made a choice of value long ago concerning these matters and the result is that some will live and some will die, but hopefully less than would were it not for my presence."

Snape had readily admitted to his choice. And although he did not ask for forgiveness, it was clear that in some way, Snape did feel the guilt of those deaths, even though he had saved the children. What if he had saved the parents that night? How many more would have died because he was no longer privy to the Dark Lord's plans? Was that the "choice of value" that he had made? The choice to save as many lives as he could but not every life. How hard must that have been?

There had been a day, not long ago at all, that Harry would have said that Snape would have no qualms about such things, but that day was not today, nor would there likely ever be a day in the future. Every second in the Headmaster's office seemed to bring new revelations to Harry about Snape, but he still dearly wanted to know why Snape had chosen that path in the first place. Had he changed his mind before or after joining Voldemort? Why had he changed his mind? And how had he become known to the Order?

Harry handed the letter carefully back to Dumbledore, who took it gently and placed it back in the drawer where it obviously had it's own spot.

"You saw how he signed it?" Dumbledore continued. "Sincerely is what he wrote; just a word that meant more than I even realized the night I first read it. I was ashamed when I looked at those poor children. We, the Order that is, decided that we would act on ‘Sincere's' warnings in the future but that we would proceed cautiously. We called him Sincere back in those days, because we had no other name for him. Perhaps it was also our hope that he was Sincere that made us refer to him in that way. I did not know whom to suspect back then. If I had thought of Severus at all in those days, it was with a sense of sadness that I had not heard from him at all. I had no hope that he could be our mysterious Sincere.

Over the next few months, we received several warnings that saved lives and were never a trap. With these warnings were always suggested courses of action so as not to give Sincere's involvement away. Just as often, we would receive refugees without any prior warnings. They were always under the draught of living death and upon waking would be unable to say what had happened to them. They were all sent into hiding, both for their safety and Sincere's. That year was our most successful. Fewer lives were lost and Voldemort was becoming more desperate.

We had tried in the past to place spies in Voldemort's camps before of course, but I regret to say that all of these brave men and women eventually met their end. We were more than grateful for Sincere's information and awed by his care. It was amazing that he should be able to achieve what no others before him had. Of course, our curiosity was great indeed. I should say that only the very inner core of the Order was even aware of Sincere's involvement."

Dumbledore got a wry smile on his face at this point. "Of course, Sincere is Professor Snape as you have no doubt guessed, although we had not yet discovered that at the time. I am sure you can imagine that your Professor's unique brand of dark humor often made itself known to us in the Order. Indeed, although we were grateful for his information, there were those in the Order that found his messages to be quite offensive at times. I'll never forget when he sent a message directly to Alastor Moody that said to remember ‘constant vigilance.'"

Albus chuckled at the memory and Harry could not help but to laugh as well. He could just imagine Mad-Eye reading his own words on paper sent by Snape as a scolding.

"The rest of the Order got a good laugh but as you can imagine, Alastor didn't really appreciate having his own words thrown back into his face. How Sincere knew that about him, we did not know, but it was clear that he had done his homework quite well and discovered many of us. He scolded some of us on occasion for not being careful. And having been on the receiving end of Severus' rebukes yourself, you cannot doubt how acidic these words were. No matter how fair, they were met by anger. Finally, the Order demanded that we discover the identity of Sincere. I was curious too, so against my better judgment, I set in motion the events that led to Severus' identity being revealed. I drank Polyjuice for a week and sat in all of Mundungus' usual haunts with select Order members concealed in the crowd. And one night, he came.

“A man dressed in a black cloak with the hood concealing his face moved towards my table. It was exactly the type of place where this type of behavior was common and Fletcher was exactly the type of person to be meeting a man like that for some silly illegal reason. In short, it was perfect.

“He sat at my table and said not a word for nearly two full minutes. When he did finally speak, he took me quite by surprise. He asked me, "Where is Fletcher?" Not only did he see through my disguise, but I instantly knew that voice. It was unforgettable. Here was Severus.

“I somehow managed to hold back from exclaiming his name and said that Fletcher was indisposed. He called it for the lie it was of course. I was quite ready to apologize but before I could say a word, he said something along the lines of, "Well, it would seem to be too late for secrecy now. I don't suppose your guard would appreciate me Obliviating you." I, of course, agreed and asked him if we could talk. He said nothing for another minute. At length, he stood from the table and I feared that I would lose him, but instead of leaving, he leaned towards me and said to meet him outside Hogsmeade in 20 minutes.

“I cannot believe how foolish we were. We could have lost our best source of information by betraying his trust like that. He had only asked for one thing in that letter and that was for us to not ask him his name. Yet, there I was, acting like a young fool. I could not let the mystery be and simply accept his help. I was lucky that night. We all were."

The Headmaster's voice took on a more conversational tone at this point. "Well, we met him. He was as unpleasant to the others as always. Sometimes I think that they forget what he's done for us. They will say that once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater and I believe they say this merely because they find Severus' conversation unpalatable. But I have never found out from Severus how this all began and I respect his silence on this score. He has never given me a reason to doubt him. And I will not attempt to deny that I care for him a great deal Harry."

The Headmaster paused as if to reflect. Harry was silent for several moments. The Headmaster had just divulged a great deal of information about Snape after all. Finally, Harry found his voice. "Thank you Professor. I still have some questions though."

"I'll try to answer them as best as I can Harry."

"What happened to bring him to Hogwarts?"

"Ahh, well, my previous Potions Master retired and Voldemort himself suggested that Severus become a spy. We had to be very careful that he seem mistrusted because the children of Death Eaters were here, watching too. I think it was harder for Severus to be a double agent. I believe the Dark Lord required even more frequent evidence of his loyalty, but I have never heard him complain, at least about that," Dumbledore finished with a sad expression.

"And what happened after, you know, after the night Voldemort disappeared?"

"Severus and I both suspected that we hadn't seen the last of Voldemort, so we settled on watching and waiting. In the interim, Severus maintained his contacts with the other escaped Death Eaters. You can imagine that Voldemort was not the only Dark Wizard out there; he was merely the worst. There are those who think that Severus only helped to get out of Azkaban, but he never once asked for my protection. He did go to Azkaban you know? He was there for nearly ten months before I could get him out. I did it because I believed in him and because I knew we'd need him."

They were both silent for several minutes. Harry didn't know what to say. Finally, Dumbledore said, "I hope Harry, that you will respect your Professor's privacy. I shared this with you today because I believed that you would appreciate all that he has done and because I would like to see the two of you work together. Severus has a lot to offer, as you have realized yourself. And despite how he has treated you in the past, he has always been one of the first to respond when you or any student in this school is in danger."

Harry nodded. "Thank you sir. I do respect his privacy, more than you know. And I will try, to work with him."

The Headmaster peered at him intently and Harry kept the eye contact, willing the Headmaster to believe him. Finally, Dumbledore nodded.

"Now Harry, I believe there was something else you wished to discuss?"