As Harry walked into the Hall with Sirius and Severus, he realized that it looked much smaller on the outside. There was a stage at the front of the room, and tons of uncomfortable-looking chairs were set up throughout the room. Already a lot of people were filling the chairs up. The three chose the middle seats. Sirius placed the bag of candyfloss on the chair next to him.

“Why'd you do that?” Harry asked curiously, looking over at the chair occupied by the candy. “Someone might want to sit there.”

“It's a reserved seat,” Sirius said cheerfully. “I sort of have a surprise for you. Even Snapey doesn't know what it is.”

Severus eyed Sirius suspiciously. “I won't like it, will I?”

“Oh no,” Sirius answered. “You won't mind at all.”

Suddenly, Sirius lit up, and Harry quickly followed his gaze. A man was staring at him, quite intently actually, Harry realized. Harry looked over to his left where Severus sat. Even he seemed to recognize the stranger.

“Oi, Moony—over here!” Sirius yelled out loudly, causing several people to turn back in their chair and stare at him. Sirius didn't notice. He seemed to be more concerned about the stranger that was now approaching them, staring at Harry warily.

“Hello Severus,” the man—Moony?—greeted carefully, his eyes still on Harry. “Sirius invited me. I hope you don't mind.”

Harry felt Severus's eyes flicker onto him before they finally registered on Moony. “Of course not. I assume Black told you about—?”

“Yes, yes,” Moony answered quickly. “He told me all about that.”

“About… me?” Harry guessed quietly, looking at Severus as he awaited an answer, although he already had a good suspicion of what it would be. “About this?”

“Yes,” Severus answered in an equally quiet voice.

“Come on, sit down, Moony,” Sirius said, picking up the candyfloss.

Moony did as such, finally tearing his eyes away from Harry, albeit he said, “It's nice to see you again, Harry.”

He sounded genuine about it, too.

Harry grinned uncomfortably. “It's nice to meet you.”

Surprise was clearly written on Moony's face as he looked at Sirius in alarm, and Sirius leaned over to whisper something to the other man.

“My name's Remus Lupin by the way,” the man said to Harry as he straightened. “But Sirius calls me Moony.”

Remus Lupin. Familiar, Harry thought. Then it struck him—Lupin, from Severus, when he was talking about his days at Hogwarts!

Suddenly, Sirius yelled out very loudly, “What's the play this year?”

“Romeo and Juliet!” a woman from the very front of the room yelled back.

Sirius frowned, looking confused. “Huh? I've never heard of that before.”

There was a gasp from behind them. All four turned around to see Elizabeth Hawlen staring at them in utter amazement. “You've never heard of Romeo and Juliet? Shakespeare?” She stared as all four looked clueless. “Have you been living in a cave?” She suddenly eyed Remus. “And who is this charming man? I've actually seen you around here before.”

“Just ignore her and slowly turn around,” Sirius muttered to Remus from the side of his mouth, doing exactly that. His excitement grew again as the lights began to dim. He glanced over at Harry and laughed loudly.

“What?” Harry asked, his cheeks turning pink.

“That freezie turned your mouth entirely blue.” Sirius's laughter turned to a few chuckles as he picked up his own bag of licorice, holding it out to Remus. “Take a few. They're delicious.”

There was a loud coughing in front of them, coming from the stage. Colleen Prindle coughed again to get everybody's attention.

“Thank you and welcome to another year of our traditional town play! We have worked hard and I think it's paid off! Please, no phones or cameras during the show, it's distracting. Now, on behalf of all of us, please enjoy tonights performance of Romeo and Juliet!”

The lights dimmed some more until the only thing that was lit up was the stage. Beside him, Harry heard Severus groan, and on his other side, he heard Sirius let out a noise of excitement.

There was a voice that echoed through the room, saying, “Two households both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes a pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life; while misadventured piteous overthrows do with their death bury their parents' strife.”

Harry listened, hardly intrigued. He glanced over at Sirius and then at Severus to see their reactions, since he could not see Remus's. There was slight confusion on both of their faces, though Sirius's was more pronounced.

After a while, Harry jumped as Sirius yelled out, “What language are they speaking?!”

“It's Elisabethan, Sirius!” a girl a couple rows in front of them yelled out. “You should know that!”

Completely forgetting the play was going on before him, Sirius yelled back, “Why should I know? I've never even heard of this play before!”

“Don't worry about it, Sirius,” a man in front of Sirius said as he turned around. “I only know it from my wife. Didn't pay much attention in school, y'see.”

Suddenly, the young man who was playing Romeo approached the edge of the stage and glared at the audience.

“Iseth there a problem?” he demanded.

Sirius held up his hands. “Sorry Erny! Hey, do those tights bother you any?”

Harry heard Severus groan again.

“Sirius Black!” Erny yelled, sounding angry. “Just becauseth you… areth… handsome and Sally would rather kiss you, AND becauseth you were supposed to get the part of Romeo does not mean you can—”

“Wait!” Sirius stood up, looking shocked. Beside him, Harry noticed Remus was looking embarrassed. “I was supposed to get the part of Romeo? Really?”

“Yeseth!” Erny yelled. “But because they could not findeth thee, thou hast to choose me!”

“I don't think you're speaking Elisabethan, luv,” shouted Maddie, Harry recognized. “And don't worry about not being as good-looking as Sirius. He's just so manly.”

“His name is so manly too!” Another girl yelled. Her voice got cut off, as if a hand was thrown overtop of her mouth.

Erny's mouth fell open. “Manly? A manly name? Sirius?”

“Yeah, Sirius,” Maddie yelled. “It's a star. Y'know, Sirius?”

“Y—yeah, well, Ernest means determined and sincere, which means that Erny means the same thing!”

“Well… it's your nickname, luv,” Maddie pointed out in confusion.

Juliet, who Harry learned was really Sally, suddenly let out a frustrated cry. “Sirius Black, you are ruining everything for me!” She stamped her foot. “This was supposed to be my play! How dare you?” She tore off her wig, revealing messy hair, and stomped down the stairs of the stage and then ran through the aisle.

“I give up!” she wailed. “Find someone else to be your lousy Juliet!”

The audience remained deadly silent. Sirius still stood, looking at a loss for words.

Colleen stepped onto the stage, and even from back there Harry could see that she was red with anger.

“Sirius Black!” Colleen barked. “Come up here! Now.”

Sirius paled, looking down at the three frantically. “Don't make me go,” he whispered, sounding frightened.

But Colleen didn't want to play games.

“Sirius!”

With each step looking reluctant, Sirius slowly made his way up on stage, where Colleen grabbed his arm and roughly pulled him behind the curtain.

“Here.” She picked up a sparkly, burgandy gown and a wig. “Put these on.”

Sirius looked down at the items in horror. “Why?”

Colleen smirked. “Because you, my dear, are our new Juliet.”

--

Harry waited impatiently until the curtains drew back. He had already finished his bag of licorice, and now dug into his candyfloss. But, as it melted on his tongue, he had to stop and wonder what happened to Sirius.

That is, until he caught sight of the people onstage. From the corner of his eyes he saw Severus visibly straighten and Remus's mouth drop open.

Sirius stood on the stage in a long gown, wearing a curly, long brunette wig. He had a blue scriptbook open in one hand and he looked very, very unhappy.

“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” Sirius's voice was dull, unenthusiastic and monotone. He almost sounded like a robot. “Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, but be sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a… Capulet. A Capulet.”

“We're not at that part yet!” came the loud hiss from Erny—or, Romeo—since their voices were magnified by microphones.

“I don't care!” Sirius hissed back. “I want to get this over with. This wig itches!”

A few people in the audience snorted or snickered.

Sirius continued. “O… think'st?… thou we shall ever meet again?”

Erny cleared his throat, using a dramatic voice. “I doubt it not; and all these woes shall serve for sweet discourses in our time to come.”

Sirius made a horrified face.

Harry continued to watch in amusement. He would often glance over at Severus to see that he was clearly trying to hold back a wide smile.

Glancing down at the bag in his hand, Harry offered some of the candyfloss to Severus.

“Why thank you.”

Harry looked over at Remus to see that he was enjoying Sirus's torture, too.

“And trust me, love, in my eye so do you; dry sorrow drinks our blood. Adieu, adieu!”

Harry stared as Romeo spoke those words.What was he talking about?

“Do you have any idea what they're saying?” Harry whispered to Severus.

“Sometimes,” he answered.

Sirius was speaking in the same dull, robotic voice. “O fortune, fortune. All men call thee fickle: if thou… art… fickle, what—dost? Is that dost?” Sirius paused as Erny gave his head a jerk. “What dost thou with him. That is renown'd for faith? Be fickle, fortune; for then—”

“Wait,” Erny suddenly whispered. “I don't think you're supposed to say that ye—”

“I… don't… care!” Sirius mouthed, scratching at his wig. “Be not so long to speak; I long to die, if what thou… speak'st?… speak not of remedy.”

“Friar Laurence, someone get Friar Laurence!” Someone backstage shouted. Friar Laurence stumbled onto the stage.

“Hold, daughter: I do spy a kind of hope—”

“Here,” Severus suddenly whispered to Harry. “Go get an ice cream.” He dropped some money onto Harry's lap.

“But I'm not done the candyfloss,” Harry pointed out, but Severus shook his head.

“You can save that for tomorrow. Go on.”

Picking up the money, Harry went out to the concession stand. He quickly returned with a chocolate sundae as the Friar Laurence was still speaking.

“—And this distilled liquor drink—drink thou off; when presently through—through all thy v—veins shall run a cold and drowsy humour, for no pulse sh—shall keep this native progress, but surcease: no warmth, no—Sirius!—breath shall testify thou livest—”

“There,” Harry whispered as he returned to his seat. Both Remus and Severus looked as if they were going to burst out laughing when Sirius spoke again. “Want a bite?”

“No, thank you,” Severus declined. “Apparently this Friar Laurence is giving Sirius—or rather, Juliet—some type of potion that can make it seem like she is dead when she is merely sleeping.” Severus glanced at Harry. “I've never heard of such a thing.”

Harry shrugged. “It is a muggle play.” He listened as the Friar Laurence went on.

“Shall, stiff and stark and cold, appear like d—death: and this in borrow'd like—likeness of a shrunk death thou shalt continue two and for—forty hours, and then awake as from—from a pleasant sleep.”

Harry had no idea if Sirius skipped ahead or not, but in the same unenthusiastic voice Sirius said, “O, look. Methinks I see my cousin's ghost seeking out Romeo, that did spit his body upon a rapiers point; stay, Tybalt, stay. Romeo, I come. This do I drink to thee.”

Unsure of what to do, since Sirius looked as if he had no idea what he just said, he grabbed the vial from Friar Laurence and pretended to drink.

The others on stage with him looked startled.

Sirius, looking around, quickly dropped to the floor, and as he did his wig fell off. He hit the floor with a thud and hastily reached out to pick up the fallen wig and shove it back down on his head. He lay back on the floor, holding the scriptbook up to Erny.

Erny glared.

“Read the part that starts off with 'News from Verona,'” Sirius whispered, though the whole audience still heard him.

Erny looked annoyed. “News from Verona!—How now, Balthasar! Dost thou bring me letters from the friar? How doth my lady? Is my father well? How fares my Juliet? That I ask again; for nothing can be ill, if she be well.”

Two people from the backstage went out to drag Sirius away from the scene and another young man was pushed onstage, looking frightened.

Remus leaned over the empty chair between him and Harry and whispered, “I wish I brought a camera with me or something.”

“It seems to me as if we know everybody in this town,” Harry whispered back. “I'm sure someone could be nice enough to give us pictures, or even a video of this.”

“Well Juliet, I will lie with thee tonight. Let's see for the means: O mischief, thou art swift to enter in the thoughts of desperate men! I do remember an apothecary,—and hereabouts he dwells,—which late I noted—”

Sirius pushed another man onstage, who after momentarily getting flustered, said, “P—put this in any liquid you will, and drink it off—er, line?”

“And if you had the strength of twenty men, it would dispatch you strength!” Sirius yelled out from behind the curtain. The man nodded, sighed, and went back behind the curtain as well, leaving Romeo onstage by himself.

“Fare—farewell,” Erny stuttered, looking around him cluelessly, “buy food, and get thyself in flesh. Come, cordial and not poison, go with me to Juliet's grave, for there I must use thee.”

“Okay Erny,” came Sirius's hushed voice through the microphone. “Read the part where you go to drink the potion.”

Sirius rushed onstage as some of the crew hurriedly pushed a bed-like box out with him.

“It's poison, not a potion,” Erny muttered darkly, although the microphone picked it up.

Sirius threw himself on the box and closed his eyes, his script still in his hands. With a sigh, Erny walked over and said, “Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide! Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on the dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark! Here's to my love!”

Dramatically, Erny put the vial to his lips and pretended to drink. He sprawled himself next to Sirus on the box, almost so that he was nearly on top of him, and pretended to have trouble breathing. He began to gasp for air.

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut tighter, feeling his wig start to slip off again.

“O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick!” Erny gasped. “Thus, with a kiss, I die.”

Sirius's once-shut-tight eyelids now were open exceedingly wide as he felt Erny press his lips against his own.

Sirius abruptly sat up, causing Erny to topple to the floor and his curly wig to go flying across the room.

“He kissed me!” Sirius yelled loudly, his face pale. “Blimey—he kissed me!”

The audience now roared with laughter. It seemed Severus could not hold it in any longer as he joined in.

Sirius stood, and now Erny took his place on the box. Clearing his throat and scowling, Sirius said in a robotic voice, “What's here? A cup, closed in my true… loves… hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end. O churl—”

“Severus,” Harry managed as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes, “did he just call something charl? What's charl?”

“I do not know,” Severus answered, looking as if he was going to laugh again.

“I—I will…” Sirius faltered at the words, frowning. “… Kiss thy lips; haply some poison yet doth hang on them—what?—to make die with a restorative.”

Sirius lingered over Erny, still scowling.

“You have to kiss me,” Erny whispered, his eyes still shut tight.

“No,” Sirius said harshly. He placed his hand over Erny's mouth and quickly pressed his lips to his hand. “Thy lips are warm.”

Erny coughed loudly by accident, causing several from the audience to giggle.

Sirius skimmed down the script, looking all the words over. “Yea, noise. Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger.” Sirius looked around in confusion, then seeing a girl peek out from behind the curtain, hissed, “I need a happy dagger!”

A foam dagger was thrown at him, hitting him on the side of the head. Sirius picked it up and looked back at the book to search for his line.

“This is thy sheath.” Sirius stared at the script. Then, looking at the foam dagger, he thrust it into his chest. Pausing again with the foam dagger still squished against him, he read what he was supposed to do.

Fall on Romeo and die.

“There rust, and let me die,” Sirius intoned, awkwardly laying hmself on the other half of the box so he wasn't on top of Erny, but half-on the box and half-off.

The curtain closed in front of them and Sirius scrambled up. There was an applause, and much laughter from the audience.

“Your wig came off.” Erny pouted. “I guess near the end Juliet got a quick haircut for some reason.”

“You kissed me!” Sirius yelled accusingly. “Why?!”

“I had to make it look believable!” Erny said defensively.

“Well believe me, it was believable.” Sirius shuddered. “Do we go out and bow?”

Erny shrugged. “After the narrator's done, I guess.”

“—For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”