“I’m coming,” came the friendly reply from the other side of the perfectly painted white door with a shinning brass knocker.

The young women doing the knocking lowered her hand and took a deep breath. Her dark blue eyes, inherited from her grandfather, stared nervously at the door. She sucked on her lower lip held securely between her teeth and absentmindedly tucked a long strand of wavy black hair behind her ear. Daddy will kill me if he finds out about me being here, she couldn’t help but think as she fidgeted while waiting for the door to open.

Eventually, the door did open to reveal a smiling older woman with grayish brown hair, ice blue eyes and a slightly large nose. “Can I help you?”

“Are you Serenity Hood?” the younger woman asked trying to keep her voice steady. Excitement coursed through her, but she forced herself not to bounce on the balls of her feet. She couldn’t stop the anxious way her left hand played with the tips of her hair that fell to the middle of her back.

“Yes,” Serenity’s voice, lost some of its cheeriness and her smile faded a bite in confusion.

“My name is Deidra.” She swallowed and took a deep breath, willing herself to continue with the greeting she had prepared as she rode the Knight Bus to her mother’s home. “Deidra Samantha Snape… I’m your daughter.”

Serenity stood frozen to the spot staring into the blue eyes of her daughter for the first time. Deidra could see the knuckles of Serenity’s right hand turn white as she clutched the doorframe.

“I was wondering if I could talk to you for a little bit?” Deidra began, then her eyes widened, “Oh…I forgot, I have a copy of my birth certificate, and a picture I.D. if you’d like more proof…” The girl who was not quite 16 rambled on, ruffling through her purse.

“Stop,” Serenity ordered quietly. “Never,” she continued harshly, but quiet and firm with anger oozing out of her voice. “Never again are you to step foot near this house. Or this town for that matter. I never want to see or hear of you again. I have no daughter.”

A door slammed in Deidra’s face, her mouth hanging open and the hand inside her purse clutched the copy of her birth certificate in a vice. She didn’t know how long she stood there frozen before she began to tremble. She only wanted to talk for a moment or two, nothing more. Slowly, she collapsed to her knees in front of the door hardly noticing the tears sliding one after another down her pale cheeks.

She remained that way for several minutes before swallowing a sob and, still trembling, got to her feet, the denim of her jeans scrapping against the concrete as she stood. She walked away from the door, wrapping her arms around herself in a hug and rubbing her cheeks against her shoulders to wipe away the tears. She kept walking, not really seeing where she was going. When her unsteady legs couldn’t carry her any further, she found a deserted bench not far from a park and sat down heavily. She didn’t remember summoning the Knight Bus. Or telling the driver her destination. Or walking down the driveway to her Uncle’s not-too-small but not-too-large house.

The only thing she did remember was her Aunt Ginny opening the door and hesitating, for only a moment out of surprise, before engulfing her into a hug as she sobbed.

An hour later, she was sitting on her Aunt and Uncle’s couch, curled into her Uncle’s side. Her hands nervously twisted the sleeves of her long sleeved, red shirt. Ginny was taking care of her youngest daughter who had been pushed off the porch by their youngest son.

Deidra sniffled and rubbed the back of her hand under her nose.

“So…you met your mom.”

“She’s not my mother,” Deidra said angrily.

Harry sighed, “I should call Severus.”

“He’ll kill me,” Deidra pouted, her fingers shifted to play with the edge of Harry’s shirt.

Harry raised an eyebrow. “I seriously doubt that.”

Deidra sniffled. Harry gently rubbed her upper arm.

“I take it he doesn’t know where you are.”

“He thinks I’m at Ashley’s.” Deidra confessed squirming. “Her parents are out of town, and she helped me track…Her down… Daddy doesn’t know her parents are out of town.”

“I see.” The uncle in Harry wanted to smile and congratulate her on an excellent plan. The father in him wanted to scold her. “Regardless, you can’t tell me you don’t want to talk to him.”

Deidra shrugged and blinked away more tears. Her voice cracked when she spoke. “I do. But he’ll be mad. And I’ve had a pretty sucky day already.”

“Yeah. You’re right, he’s going to be…upset, but he’s your father and he loves you.”

“I know.”

Harry had to chuckle at his niece’s despairing tone. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll floo over first and explain to your dad what happened .”

Deidra hesitated, chewing on her lower lip, before whispering “Okay.”

SssssssssS

It didn’t take long for her Uncle to step back into his living room. Harry gently guided her from the couch to the fireplace so she could floo to Hogwarts. It hardly only took a second once she stepped through the flames before she stumbled into her father’s private quarters. She turned a tear streaked face up to look at him.

He didn’t give her a chance to move or speak, just pulled her to him in a hug and rested his cheek on top of her head while his arms engulfed her. She hugged him back with all her strength and at once began crying into his chest. She barely registered the words he spoke, while holding her.

“It’s okay, baby…Hush… Daddy’s here… I won’t leave. Sshhh…I love you… No matter what, I’ll always love you.”

As many times as her Daddy had held her in the past, Deidra couldn‘t think of a time that having his strong arms around her had felt so good. Even after her sobs quieted and the tears stopped pouring from her eyes, he just held her and unlike other times, she felt no desire to pull away.

Eventually, she spoke in a small, delicate whisper. “Are you mad at me?”

Deidra could feel more than hear her father’s sigh as he rubbed circle’s on her back. “A bit.” He answered honestly, moving his hand to run it over her head. “But we can talk about how disappointed I am that you lied to me later. Right now, I believe you could use a bit of a reprieve. Perhaps a nap?”

“Nu uh.” Deidra was surprised by her own childish reply. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. It wasn’t that a nap didn’t exactly sound horrible, but she wanted to stay with her dad. And asking if he would lay down with her like he did when she was little was just too embarrassing.

Severus didn’t say anything but Deidra could imagine her father’s eyebrow raising.

“I just wanted to talk to her,” she sniffled.

“I know,” Severus said simply.

After a moment, Deidra felt her father’s arms move and he placed a hand on each of her shoulders pushing her half a step back. She scrubbed at her eyes with her sleeves, but her father kept his hands on her shoulders

“Come. Sit down,” Severus commanded gently.

Deidra rubbed her eyes with her sleeve once more then crossed her arms in front of her as though giving herself a hug. Her father was already sitting at the end of the couch. His left arm rested on the arm while his right beckoned his daughter to sit.

Without hesitation, Deidra snuggled against her father’s side. Her head nestled under his arm, against his chest as she inhaled the familiar scents of her dad. She kept one arm wrapped around her middle while the other found the hem of her dad’s shirt.

“I take it she wasn’t happy to see you,” Severus asked knowingly.

“She said…” Deidra sniffled and chocked back a sob remembering the one and only time she had met her mother. “She said that she had no daughter…she wouldn’t even talk to me.”

Her father hugged her closer. “She doesn’t know what she’s missing.” Severus spoke softly rubbing his hand smoothly against Deidra’s upper arm. “She doesn’t know what a wonderful person you are. She’s never seen you smile…or heard you laugh…or held you when you cried…or changed your dirty nappies…”

Deidra chuckled a bit and waited for her father to continue. She wanted him to make her feel better. To chase away the monsters like he did when she was little. But she didn’t think even her dad would be able to make this hurt go away.

“I don’t know why she choose to…”

“…abandon me?” Deidra supplied at her father’s hesitation, tilting her head to look up at him.

“Yes. But I do know what she’s missing. And I pity her. Because she’ll never know or understand unconditional love.” Severus paused and turned so his left hand could stroke her tear-stained cheek. “And believe me, Deidra Samantha Snape, I do love you and I’ll always be here for you… So will your Grandfather and Uncle Harry…We will never abandon you.”

Deidra was silent. She already knew her dad and grandpa and uncle loved her. Being told that yet again didn’t really make the fact that her mother hated her any less painful.

“Do you miss your mom?” Deidra asked quietly. She knew her grandmother was a touchy subject with her father. He never talked about her. Grandpa had told her some wonderful stories about when he and her grandmother were young and dating. Uncle Harry never really knew her, but had explained to her why her dad wouldn‘t talk about her.

“Not really.” Deidra was surprised to hear regret in her father’s voice. “Not anymore that is. Right after she left I thought it was my fault. That I was the reason she left. That I made her angry somehow. But I still had your grandpa. He never left me. He made sure I knew that he loved me.”

“We’re still going camping with him right?” Deidra asked sitting up a bit so she could easily see her fathers eyes. She knew she was in a lot of trouble and her heart still ached from her mother‘s rejection, but taking away their annual camping trip was just plain cruel.

Severus rolled his eyes. “I suppose we can move on to your punishment now.”

A pout came over Deidra’s face and she could have kicked herself for giving her dad an opening.

Her dad smiled a little in amusement at her pout, but pulled her close once again. “Harry tells me you are well aware that you “screwed up“ as he put it. Would you care to tell me what you did wrong?”

“You wouldn’t let me see her!” Deidra exclaimed with wide eyes that once again threatened tears.

“I explained to you why,” Severus responded calmly.

Deidra slouched back against the couch crossing her arms in a pout. She knew her dad was right. And his explanation for why she didn’t have a mom was infinitely nicer than what her own mother’s explanation would have been. He had made it sound as though her mother couldn’t take care of her so had simply given her to her father. That she simply hadn’t been ready to be a mother.

“I understand you wanted to meet your mom. I do. I know what its like to want to ask your mother why she abandoned you. To give you a hug and reassure you that it wasn’t something you did. That it wasn’t your fault. To hear her say that she loves you. But, my sweet little girl…sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way. And there’s nothing you can do to change it. Serenity decided a long time ago that she didn’t want…the responsibility of being a mother. She isn’t able to see you as a person. Because if she did, she would realize her mistake.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Deidra confessed to her father.

“Nothing I say will,” Severus whispered in reply and Deidra looked up to see the honesty in her father’s eyes. “Nothing I say will make the hurt go away. You just have to realize on your own…in your own time, that you don’t need your mother in order to be loved.”

“I’m sorry,” Deidra whispered, drawing her knees up to her chest. “I know I shouldn’t have lied to you about Ashley’s parents. Or tried to find…my…mother. I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“You’re not in trouble for wanting to find your mother, child. Just for the way you went about it. Do you realize the danger you put yourself in?” Her dad asked his voice acquiring a harsh edge for the last though he kept its timbre even. “What if something had happened to you while you were wondering around a strange town? Who would have known? How long before Ashley would have gotten worried enough to tell someone?”

Deidra always hated it when all her asinine decisions were laid out in front of her. Things that had made perfect sense at the time suddenly seemed so stupid.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” She repeated, hoping her sincerity was translucent enough.

“Hmmm…”

“I am, really.”

“I think two weeks spent in your room, along with doing dishes everyday, and perhaps scrubbing the house from top to bottom should be sufficient to remind you not to lie to me. Don’t you agree?”

“No.” Deidra’s pout grew as she glanced sideways at her father.

Severus cocked an eyebrow. “To bad.”

Deidra jerked her head towards fully him with wide eyes and mouth open in shock.

Severus chuckled and playfully lunged towards her capturing a bare foot that he began tickling mercilessly.

Deidra was surprised at the attack, but couldn’t help laughing as her father’s fingers expertly danced over her foot. It didn’t make the heartache go away, but it did feel good to laugh.