February 4th 1992

“Sir… Sir… Sir–”

“Silence, child.”

Harry peeped and slapped both hands over his mouth, shaking in fright. Severus sighed and walked forward to slowly pull the boy’s hands away. His eyes were tearing up and Severus made the child look up at him.

“I would never try to burn out your tongue, Harry,” he whispered and Harry tried to look down but Severus’ hand kept his chin in place. Defeated he looked back up at his professor. “It is heinous what those muggles have done to you. If I could take every injustice you have suffered at their hands and here in this school on myself, I would do it.”

Severus walked away to busy himself with potions, reading labels slowly and pulling them from the shelf. Harry swished his bare legs back and forth under the table Severus had placed him upon as if he were a very small child. He shivered in his hospital gown, biting his bottom lip worriedly. Out of the corner of his eyes, hidden behind his hair, Severus could practically see the boy gathering up his Gryffindor courage.

“Sir–” He was pale. Was he just that afraid of him, Severus wondered, or had the changes already began just within an hour? “–what you said… in the hospital wing… did you only… I mean, was it… true?”

Severus sighed and placed the potions carefully down on the table. Shaking his hair from his eyes he caught Harry watching him, before quickly looking away.

He had that same damned hope in his eyes.

Lily, this would be easier if you were here, but if you were here the child would never have suffered. Kitten, wherever you are, can you help me?

Silence was his response.

He wasn’t surprised.

He walked up to Harry and he looked up at him, unaided this time. “What do you want, Harry?”

“The truth, sir.”

He looked grown up in this moment, rather like an old man in his eyes, aged and full of wisdom with what he had seen. Rather like his mother after the torture suffered to her at the hands of the Marauders and then being forced to marry one for the ‘good’ of the War. And after she was called to beget a child that would either save the world or die a horrible death.

That orphaned child sat before him now, trembling. He was the savior of the hopeless – whether they believed it or not – and yet, having very little to bring him hope.

“Child, your mother was my best friend… more than my friend in later years. I loved Lily with all I had, but we couldn’t …” His eyes clenched shut for a moment before looking back into Harry’s eyes. “…be together in that way. Lily was told to marry James Potter, a man she detested, a man who was as much to her as Ron Weasley is to you.”

Harry’s eyes were lit with a slight morbid fascination in this, but he was drinking it in. He was, possibly, just happy to hear more of his mother and her life

“When she became pregnant with you, she began to realize she wanted a better life for her child than what that man could give you. She had given him enough chances as it was. So, she wanted to brew a potion that would, very illegally I might add, make you, in all essence, my son. I brewed it at her request.”

Harry gasped, tears falling silently down his face as he looked up at him. Severus pulled the child into an embrace and Harry wiped his tears once more on Severus’ cloak. He sniffled and Severus began to rub circles onto the child’s thin back, causing Harry to sort of sink deeper into his arms.

“I was so sure it wasn’t going to work, but Lily was so sure it would. And it did. I found out that it did work today when I learned you performed that particular spell on Lando Fester. I created that spell, created it, in fact, for James Potter. No son of Potter’s could unconsciously cast that.”

Severus pulled back from the child and conjured a wet cloth. He set to work cleaning Harry’s face. Harry smiled goofily, staring up at Severus. “Harry, you don’t resemble me now but I detect that this may start the changes, physical changes to link us as...” Unable to force the word father out of his mouth, he continued unheeded, “I’ll have to do more research of course but…”

Severus trailed off again, unsure of what else to say. Harry, too, was quiet and both looked off in the distance. Harry, however, still had one hand fisted in Severus’ robes.

“Do I have to go back to the hospital wing, sir?”

Severus let out a single laugh and sat a startled Harry down on the floor. Then Harry stared in wonder up at him – childish awe making his face glow.

“I’m going to retrieve your things.” Severus watched as his son’s brow furrowed. “You are staying here, Harry, until we can find a better solution. But now that I realize the truth, I, above all, have the ability to get you, at least, out of Slytherin dormitories.”

Severus saw the biggest smile ever cross Harry’s face. He turned and walked out the parlor.

He never saw Harry spin in front of the fireplace and then collapse on the floor in a fit of happy giggles.

If he had, he might have thought that this is the child Lily Evans wished for her son to be.

***

“Severus, my boy, was that completely necessary?” Dumbledore asked the moment Severus stepped from his quarters. He had been waiting for Severus and at least, being courteous not to barge in on his and Harry.

“He is my child. There is no longer any doubt in that. There is no gain to come from denying it but all loss to come by keeping it a secret.”

Dumbledore’s blue eyes glittered sadly with what might have been unshed tears. “My boy, this will not help Harry’s case with the government. For the ministry to learn, he became a Death Eater’s child illegally – the newspapers, my boy–”

“Albus, I have no doubt what it will do. However, I will not sit by and watch Lily’s son be tortured. I have done so at your request. Sit back and do nothing, you said. He’ll get stronger this way, you said. Well, I’m through, Albus.”

He stalked forward till he was face to face with Dumbledore, so close they could feel the other’s breath. Dumbledore, honorably, did not back away. “How many more Lando Festers will it take before Harry breaks?! How many more dark curses, slicing hexes, and monstrous muggles will it be before my son’s heart gives out?! How much more could Harry take before he follows a path that will lead him to be what the world thinks he is?!”

He leaned back. “I owe it to Lily. I owe it to Harry. My son will not just be a pawn for when the Dark Lord rises again.” He paused for a moment before saying quietly, “Albus, don’t try to fight me on this. I’d have kill you.”

Silence stretched between them before Dumbledore placed a gnarled hand on Severus shoulder. “You said you owed it to Lily and Harry but, my boy, you owe it to yourself as well. You deserve happiness. Severus, I’m sorry… for everything.”

Severus took a couple steps back. “Sorry is too late, Albus.” He strode away. “Twelve years too late.”

***

January 13, 1979

Lily was crying in Severus’ arms.

And he wanted to kill the Headmaster.

Then Potter but there was no real order to it.

Dumbledore couldn’t just demand that she marry Potter. Given history, it was extremely cruel to even suggest it in passing. Surely, the old bastard had a heart underneath that beard.

All for the good of the Order.

It made him want to hurl.

Severus raised his head from the top of Lily’s and his eyes lighted on Potter’s smirking face. Black looked just as gleeful. Severus hand unconsciously went for his wand until Lily’s hand intercepted his with her own, gripping it tight.

“No, Sev…” she whispered, looking up at him with a tear streaked face and sparkling emerald eyes. “They’re not worth it.”

Severus leaned down and kissed Lily’s forehead. She brought one hand up to his cheek, biting her lip to keep the tears at bay.

“I’ll marry you first, Kitten. I’ll marry you. I’ll be damned if I let Potter touch you.”

She smiled a watery smile at him. “Severus, you are my knight in shining armor, but, love, if I can end this war, than my own happiness means nothing to the happiness of thousands of others. Albus does this with good reason. He must be.”

She was trying to convince herself, but Severus refused to be attracted to a war-free world by lies.

“You are everything to me,” he whispered.

Lily leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Severus’ pale lips. Tears flowing down her face again, she buried her face in the crook of his neck hugging him as hard as she could.

He held her tight, as if he could shield her from Black’s snickers and Potter’s triumphant face.

Shield her from her uncertain future.

***

February 4th 1992 – Lunch Hour, Great Hall

Catalina Forester and Kendrick Creston sat quietly by themselves, refusing to talk to their housemates about what had happened. If anyone asked, Catalina would burst spontaneously into tears.

The first years sat in their normal spot at the end of the long table, on the end closest to the staff table. They were not quiet, per se, but were socializing with only themselves, as was normal. However, their conversation was nearly the same as the other Slytherins’.

“You’re right, Draco. Potter’s still not here,” commented Theodore Nott, craning his long neck and looking at the other end of the table.

Malfoy only grunted, pushing his potatoes around on his plate.

“Professor Snape’s not back yet, either,” mumbled Gregory Goyle, reaching for another leg of chicken.

“Merlin, what did Fester do to him?” wondered Pansy Parkinson.

Zabini leaned conspiratorially toward the center of their group. “What Fester did to Potter is nothing to what Potter did to Fester,” Zabini stated, a odd glint in his black eyes.

All of his friends looked up, each with shock, except Draco who seemed merely refined and reclusive in this crowd. His head was bowed and he speared a potato violently. Scowling, he put pushed down his fork to clang against his plate.

Pansy cast him a pitying glance and then shared a look with Zabini. Something was wrong with Draco.

“What are you talking about, Blaise?” asked Millicent Bulstrode before ripping apart a roll, rolling up a piece and plopping it in her mouth.

Zabini looked all around him, but the upperclassmen didn’t seem the least bit interested. He leaned in even farther and whispered as loud as he dared, “Potter nearly killed Fester.”

Blaise smiled wickedly at the gasps and open mouths and he seemed perfectly content with the silence.

“Zabini, you better explain before I hex you.” Daphne Greengrass stated calmly. However, those that knew her were watching her fingernails turn colors like muggle Christmas lights.

Blaise sat back in his seat, smirking. Daphne blinked and a saltshaker exploded. Nott threw a carrot at him.

“Don’t be a prat, Blaise,” Pansy said, rolling her eyes.

Blaise narrowed his own eyes at her, silent. Then Draco slammed his fist down on the table, causing the girls to jump back and some upperclassmen to glance over. “For Salazar’s sake, Zabini tell them.”

Blaise looked warily at Draco, and then leaned forward again, mischievous smile once more in place. “Potter hexed Fester so bad that he was taken to St. Mungo’s.”

“What?” Pansy exclaimed, speaking for the rest of her dumbstruck friends. “How?”

Zabini opened his mouth to reply when Draco answered for him. “He wandlessly cast a spell that was, no doubt, dark magic, but the teachers had no idea what it was. Or how to deal with it.”

Each one looked at each other, trying to decipher what they were hearing but coming up with only fear and uncertainty.

“Do you think it’s true, Draco,” asked Daphne anxiously, looking up at him with doe-like blue eyes. “What they’re saying about Potter, about him having the Dark Lord inside him?”

“Father says it’s not true,” he mumbled, going back to picking at his food.

Zabini looked on as the others began to finish their meals in peace but couldn’t help wondering about the fact that Draco was the only one who didn’t seem relieved.

***

Dungeons

Severus was on his way back to his rooms with a small black and white kitten trotting at his heels. He rounded the corner, lost in thought when Aella hissed loudly.

A woman in a hooded cloak stood outside his door arguing with the portrait. He didn’t recognize her voice and he could see no face. But what she was saying kept him rooted in place.

“I need to see Lily’s son, you confounded painting!”

The painting blew a raspberry at her and in response she whipped out her wand, holding it in a heavily bejeweled pale hand. “Fira–!”

“Expelliarmus!” Severus screamed, almost before he aimed his wand properly.

The long mahogany wand whirled in the woman’s hand for a moment before flying gracefully into Severus’ hand. The woman stood shaking, hands in dainty fists to at her sides. She half-turned to face him and this time he saw tendrils of honey blonde hair draping out of her robes.

“Fira praemium, Narcissa? I have a feeling that the business you have with Harry does not require others to know. I doubt that plan involves blowing my door off its hinges.”

“And you would be correct.” She said coldly, finally looking up at him. He was mildly shocked to see her red-rimmed grey eyes and smeared makeup. She stood up straight and tall however, slowly pulling back her hood. “I had hoped to avoid you, Severus but your bloody portrait…”

He walked forward but stood a few feet from her. “That has been determined,” he drawled, fiddling with her wand. She glared at him. “Your son is in the Great Hall. Perhaps, you should visit him.”

“I’ve already seen Draco, Severus,” She said, surprisingly wiping tears from her eyes. She looked off to the side, composing herself. “You and I need to have a talk on the matter of my son but that particular problem is not why I’m here.”

“What do you want with Harry?”

Tears fell down her face but this time she let them. Perhaps, she thought it a fruitless effort in trying to stop them. “Don’t you think I have any rights to Harry? Lily was like a part of my own family.”

“You betrayed Lily,” He growled stomping forward, putting his face near hers. “You betrayed Lily when you agree to marry Lucius.”

“And Lily understood my reasons.” She whispered fiercely, “You, however, never bothered to even listen to them.”

He stood still as she walked away from him before turning around, spreading her arms wide and said violently, “You were bitter when I became engaged. You were bitter when Lucius led you to the Dark Lord. But I knew you would be a spy. You never lost contact with Lily. I knew that because I never did either. I did not run crying to the Dark Lord and spill everything I knew about you and the Order!”

She clenched her eyes shut and whispered, “I made you my son’s godfather, Severus. What more do you want from me…?”

He felt his ire slowly begin to fade with this woman. Now, he only felt lost and insecure. Softly he said, “An explanation, Narcissa.”

“After twelve years, you want an explanation?” she asked wearily.

He sighed and handed her back her wand. She stood dumbfounded, watching as he whispered the password to the portrait and not hearing what it was. He stood in the open doorway looking incredibly tired.

“Come in.”

“Severus, why are doing this?” she questioned, disbelief in her voice.

He sighed again and looked at the ground. “Blame it on Lily,” he finally whispered, gazing back up at her. “She’s been haunting me.”