In a small room laid an unconscious woman. Her cheek pressed against the cold, hard stone floor. Blood trickled slowly down her temple, soaking her golden blond locks. Her ghostly pale skin was illuminated by the faint green light seeping in from the corridor. She was encircled by at least a dozen people, watching her in silent anticipation. Ghost-like masks concealed their identities. The only sound that could be heard was the rustle of their black robes.

"Good evening my faithful servants!"

The death eaters heads snapped up when they heard the hissing voice they recognised so well. The Dark Lord had entered the room.

"And a last good evening to those of you, whose services I regrettably won't be requiring anymore. That's to say, those who I don't consider worthy of serving me, traitors in other words." A high pitched laughter followed.

Some of the death eaters nervously shifted position, but the eerie silence lingered.

"Tonight is a perfect opportunity for those of you, who doubt my greatness and are on the verge of betrayal, to think better of it and learn how you'll be greatly rewarded." Voldemort eyed the death eaters one by one, looking for the slightest sign of fear.

"I am after all, a merciful lord" he drawled silkily.

"As you all know, tonight is a very special night. It will always be remembered as the night when the second greatest wizard of all time was defeated. I am speaking of course, of the murder of Albus Dumbledore!" Voldemort's snake like eyes glowed with triumph.

"Now nothing stands between Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter!" Voldemort roared and the death eaters all cheered.

There was a silent moan. All eyes turned in the direction of the blond woman on the floor.

"Well, well..." Voldemort said softly. "Welcome to join the celebration!" He bent down and traced a long, bony finger along her jaw. He tilted her head slightly. The woman started to tremble and let out a stifled sob.

Voldemort stood up slowly and walked up to one of the death eaters.

"Take of you mask and step forward" he commanded.

Everybody turned to look as the pale face of Severus Snape was revealed. His expression was unfathomable. The woman on the floor was the first to speak.

"Severus!" she said in a mere whisper. Her ocean blue eyes tried to reach his, but they remained firmly glued to the floor.

"This death eater has earned to be titled as my most loyal, faithful servant. He will be honoured above you all." Voldemort made a vivid hand gesture toward Snape.

"This is how I shall reward you Severus. She is yours to finish."

"Severus, please!" cried the frightened woman. "Don't you remember me? We used to be in the same house!"

Snape gave no sign of recognition. His eyes were still glued to the floor. He looked deathly pale and his face was glazed with sweat.

"My Lord..." Snape said finally. "I cannot thank you enough. This is a real honour." Voldemort took no notice of the indifference he spoke with.

Snape took one step closer to the woman and raised his wand with a slight tremble.

"Look at me." the woman pleaded.

Their eyes met for a short second, precisely before he had uttered the two words.

"Avada Kedavra!" Lifeless blue eyes now stared back. Snape felt sick. He had to get a way fast. He had to throw up.

----

The scene shifted.

The bright blue eyes of Dumbledore looked pleadingly at Snape.

Don't make me do this Albus, please don't! Snape screamed inside his mind while giving Dumbledore a look of pure hatred. No I won't, I won't. I will never!

"Severus Please." A gentle voice sounded. Then a jet of green light shot from his wand and hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. The lifeless body flew from the astronomy tower.

Nooooo!!! Snape felt like the whole world was falling apart. What remained of his life shattered into a million pieces. He had just killed the only person in this world who meant something to him.

----

The scene shifted again.

Harry Potter lay panting on the ground, his face suffused with hatred.

"Kill me then, kill me like you killed him you coward!"

"DON'T- call me a coward!" Snape felt pain beyond belief. He was about to break apart. He heard a banging sound in his head and he felt like he would go mad any second. The banging sound just continued.

----

Snape woke with a start. Gasping he drew his wand and bolted up from the armchair he had fallen asleep in. It took him a few seconds to realise that he had only been dreaming. With a sigh of resignation he let himself fall back in the chair. He leaned his forehead against his hand. His forehead was drenched in sweat and he felt a dull headache coming. He started to massage his temples.

"Not again!" Snape moaned out loud.

Not even a night went by without him wakening of painful nightmares. He couldn't even remember the last time he got a decent nights sleep. He startled when he heard the banging sound again. Was he really going mad this time? Snape thought to himself just before he realised that the banging sound actually was someone at his door.

Who had this time decided to bother him? Snape felt irritation rise inside of him. This better be something very important. He rose from the armchair and went to open the door.

"Severus! What took you so long?" Slughorn said with a curious voice. Snape felt the irritation rise even more.

"What do you want Horace?" he said with his usual coldness.

"I've got something for you." Slughorn held out a wrapped package. Snape eyed him questioningly.

"Sorry my friend! I was told to deliver this to you without revealing the identity of the sender." Slughorn said and blinked at him with one eye.

Snape snorted as he took the package. He glared at it suspiciously.

"I trust that was all?" Snape said without waiting for an answer. "Good night Horace."

"Good night Severus!" Slughorn said, a little taken aback by being dismissed so suddenly.

Snape shut the door. He sat down at his desk to open the package. He took out his wand to check that the package didn't hold any dangerous curses. For all he knew it could have been sent to him by a death eater, determined to seek revenge for the Dark Lord.

The package didn't seem to hold any curses, which made Snape even more suspicious. If this wasn't sent to him by a death eater, who was it from? He was definitely not the kind to exchange Christmas gifts, nor would he ever be, but surely everyone knew that! If this was some sort of Christmas gift, he would make sure that the poor idiot who sent it would be wise enough to never do it again.

The last of the paper came of to reveal a book, more specifically a copy of Advanced Potion Making. Was this some sort of a joke? Who on earth would be stupid enough to find it amusing to send him instructions in his own area of expertise?

Snape opened the book to look for hidden messages and gasped as he realised which book it was. It was his old copy of Advanced Potion Making! He hadn't seen it in ages. Eagerly he started to turn the pages.

He had known from the very beginning that Potter somehow had managed to get hold of his book. He had known it since Slughorn first had started to rave about how talented the insufferable brat was! Why on earth had Potter decided to return this? It would mean giving up his only key to success in potions. It would mean failing his NEWTs. Snape smiled smugly to himself at the thought. The only reason he hadn't confiscated the book was because the thick-headed idiot actually had managed to learn something. He had actually been impressed by the intensity of the sectumsempra Potter had fired at Malfoy. Not that he would ever admit that to him.

He continued to turn the pages, lost in thought. He knew Potter well enough to be sure that he hadn't sent this without an ulterior motive. Annoyed he started to look for messages. It didn't take long before something fell from the book. Snape picked up what appeared to be a picture of a woman. He let go of the picture as though it had burned him when he realised who she was. He looked at the red haired woman. She had green almond-shaped eyes and was waving cheerfully at him. He felt a knife cutting through his heart and his eyes started to burn.

Snape rose from the chair and started to pace in front of the desk, while pulling at his greasy, black hair. He stopped and supported himself with both hands on his over filled desk. The woman he had disappointed so badly smiled up at him.

"I sorry Lily. I know I failed-" he faltered. "I failed you, I failed everyone!" His breathing ragged he kept looking at the beautiful smiling woman.

Suddenly he felt a surge of rage. With one swift motion he swiped down every object on his desk. He let out a scream of pain as he pointed his wand at nothing in particular. Jars of potions ingredients shattered with an ear ringing sound. Glass splinter and paper flew everywhere. The picture of Lily Potter landed upside down on the floor.

Snape stalked out of the dungeons without bothering to clean up after himself. He didn't notice that on the backside of the picture something was actually scribbled.