When Severus had smeared the dittany salve over Harry's chest and back and had cast some charm to make it not stick to clothes, he left to let Harry dress. Harry picked out some of his things from Gladrags...a navy-blue polo shirt with a red collar, jeans, and trainers...and then went downstairs to join Severus.

After breakfast the professor left for Hogwarts, promising to be back as soon as possible. But if Harry had thought he would have some privacy to carry out his plans, he'd forgotten to take Norie and Zan into account. The house elves hovered over him until he thought he'd go mad, wanting to be certain that he felt well and to know if he needed anything, anything at all.

He finally persuaded them that he was tired, but not ill, and that he just wanted to lie down and rest for a while.

"I think I might be able to fall asleep if it's quiet," he added, hoping that they would take the hint that he didn't want to be disturbed.

"Very well, Master Harry," Zan said while at the same time Norie told him, "But if you is to need anything..."

"I'll call you right away," Harry assured her.

"All right then, Master Harry. You have a nice rest." And finally they were gone and Harry was alone.

He hurried upstairs to his room and went to his trunk where he'd hidden the farewell letters. Even though he'd known there was almost no chance of Severus or the elves going into his room and finding them during breakfast, he hadn't wanted to take any risk at all of anyone seeing them before the proper time. He set the letters on his desk and paused at Hedwig's cage. Usually she was asleep by now, but this time she seemed agitated, fidgeting on her perch, ruffling her feathers, and making worried clucking sounds.

Harry reached into the cage to touch her feathers. "It'll be all right, Hedwig."

He glanced back at his trunk. He would have liked one more look at his photo album, but he was afraid to take the time. The elves had delayed him and he wasn't sure when Severus would return from Hogwarts. No, there was no time to waste. Besides, it was foolish to want to stare at pictures when he would see his family in person in just a few minutes. Resolutely, Harry turned and left his room without a backwards glance.

Making sure that Norie and Zan were nowhere in sight, he crept down the stairs and out the front door on silent feet. He'd done a lot of thinking last night about the best way for him to die and he'd finally decided that he would let the slavery spell do it for him. Dumbledore had warned him when he'd first woken as a slave that the spell would kill him instantly if he tried to escape. So all he had to do was run away.

He wasn't sure at what point the spell would act. He'd almost expected it to kill him when he'd taken his first step with the intention of escaping. But the magic let him leave the house and walk across the lawn. He paused at the wrought-iron gates, but nothing happened when he stepped through. He gazed at them for a second, feeling perplexed. Then he shook his head in disgust at himself.

Of course he hadn't died yet. The slavery spell was a magical contract. It only made sense that it would act when he violated the magical boundary. Harry turned to face the moor and the stone wall that he knew lay just out of eyesight. Surely that was it. He would die when he crossed the Fidelius Charm boundary with the intention of escaping.

Harry started across the moor.

***

At the very same instant that Harry slipped out of the house, Severus flooed into his upstairs sitting room from Hogwarts. He and Albus had talked for a brief while about the best way to handle the onslaught of public attention as well as how to bring the Dursleys to justice, but they'd soon decided that they really needed Harry's input before making decisions. Albus had invited him to stay and visit for a time, but Severus had been anxious to go home and as soon as he could without being inexcusably rude, he'd left.

For some reason, he hadn't wanted to leave Harry that morning. He told himself that he was being ridiculously overprotective, that Harry wasn't really injured by now, and that the boy wouldn't even want him hanging over his shoulder every second. But none of that eased his longing to be at home with Harry.

Severus snorted softly as he went across the hall to Harry's room. He was going to end up a doting old nanny if he wasn't careful. But the thought brought a wry smile to his lips instead a scowl. It was just so...so...amazing to have Harry in his life, to have someone he cared for and wanted to be with. He'd never expected to have a real family. He'd never imagined how wonderful it could be. But now he knew, and he would treasure it.

He peeked into Harry's room, but the boy wasn't there. Well, Harry had said he wanted to take things easy today, but that didn't mean he'd planned to stay in bed. Perhaps he was downstairs.

Severus turned to leave, but suddenly Harry's owl screeched at the top of her lungs and frantically flapped her wings. Severus was not fanciful, but the thought did cross his mind that she sounded exactly as if she were crying for help. He couldn't resist going to her cage to see if something were wrong.

But nothing appeared amiss and he turned to go, shrugging slightly, when something on Harry's nearby desk caught his eye. It was the folded sheets of parchment that had been on the bed earlier. But they weren't only to Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. There was also one addressed to the Weasley parents, and there was one for him, Severus, as well.

Severus reached for his letter and opened it. He read as far as the line I need to be with my parents and with Sirius again, too when he abruptly flung the parchment down and dashed to the door. "Harry!"

He raced down the stairs, his heart pounding violently against his ribcage and a hundred horrific scenarios flashing through his mind. Where was Harry? Where would the boy have gone? Please help me find him! Severus prayed desperately. Please don't let it be too late! Please, oh, please...

Then, as he started by one of the front windows, he caught a glimpse of a figure on the horizon. Harry! He was still alive. But what was he doing? And then Severus knew. Harry was going to cross the Fidilius Charm and let the slavery spell kill him.

Severus spun on the spot and Apparated to the moor.

***

He was almost there. The stone wall was only a few steps away. Harry paused and took a deep breath. This was it. Once he passed the wall, there would be no going back.

For a moment, all the fearful thoughts he'd refused to let himself think before crowded into his mind. What was dying like? Would it hurt? Did he really want to do this?

Because he had to be sure.

He thought of his parents and Sirius, and felt the familiar ache for them. He wanted them. Dying was the only way he could be with them. It would be worth it, wouldn't it?

And yet there were other people he loved, too. Other faces swam in his mind: the Weasleys, Ron, Hermione...Severus.

If he stepped past the wall, he would leave them behind. But they would be all right. They all had each other.

Except Severus.

Severus didn't really have anyone except Harry, did he?

There were the elves. They cared for Severus and he for them, but Severus was away from Prince Hall for most of the year. He didn't have Norie and Zan with him for months at a time.

Severus was friends with Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey, and seemed to get along with several of the other professors, too. But despite that, he had still always seemed to be alone, isolated from other people in some mysterious way.

But Severus wanted that, didn't he? He didn't really want Harry to live with him. He was just making the best of the situation, wasn't he? Harry looked back at Prince Hall, then at the stone wall, wavering and uncertain.

Suddenly there was a sharp crack and Severus was there before him, pale as death himself and his eyes blazing. Harry stared at him in dumbfounded amazement.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I..." Harry tried to say, but he really had no idea how to answer. It didn't matter though, Severus swept on, his words bursting out like floodwaters released from a dam.

"How could you do this? How could you even think about it? Everything we've been through...and you try this? What were you thinking? If I hadn't come back in time..."

Severus reached for him, and just for an instant it was as if they were back in the library the day Severus had thought he'd snooped in his journal, the day Severus had shaken him hard enough to leave bruises. It even brought back buried memories of Uncle Vernon screaming and slapping him around. Harry instinctively flinched and jumped out of reach.

It was as if he'd thrown a bucket of cold water at Severus. The professor froze and then the anger vanished, to be replaced with pain and self-reproach. When Severus spoke, his voice was an anguished rasp.

"I wasn't going to hurt you."

Harry ducked his head. "I know," he mumbled.

Severus' voice cracked with emotion. "Harry, why?"

Harry looked at the ground, staring at the tall grass and wondering how he could ever explain. The silence dragged on for long minutes, but Severus remained quiet, waiting for Harry to answer, his obsidian eyes watching Harry intently. Harry didn't look at him. He didn't dare raise his eyes, but he could feel Severus' gaze trained on him.

Finally he managed to say, "I want to be with my parents and Sirius. They would love me. They would want me."

"I love you. I want you."

Harry did look at him then. But Severus' familiar face blurred and suddenly Harry was crying, harsh racking sobs that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside him. And then Severus' arms were around him, holding him close, tight. Harry grabbed onto the front of his robes and clung to him.

After a few minutes, Severus eased them down to the ground and for a long time they sat there. Harry pressed his face to Severus' chest and wept wild, heartbroken tears while Severus held him and silently rocked him back and forth.

When Harry eventually grew quieter, Severus said slowly, "Harry, child, I cannot take the place of your parents or your godfather. I'm not trying to do that. They have their own places in your heart, and that's as it should be. But I meant what I said. I do love you."

He paused and began to card through Harry's hair with gentle fingers. "Harry, I need you. Before you came, my life was empty. I never learned how to make friends or to get along with people. I told myself that I was content living alone, that it was better not to need anyone. But then you came, and you've given me so much."

He took a deep breath. "It's very difficult for me to talk about my emotions, Harry, but you need to know what you've done for me." His words came slowly, awkwardly, but his fingers caressed through Harry's hair with undeniable love and his arms holding Harry were strong and sure.

"I never knew what real joy was before you came. I never knew what it was to care so much for someone that I could feel his happiness or pain more clearly than my own. I never looked forward to a new day beginning. Now I do."

Harry turned his face to rest his cheek against Severus' shoulder and whispered. "You really love me?"

Severus pressed a kiss to the top of Harry's head. "Yes, I love you with all my heart."

After a moment Severus cleared his throat. "Harry, I have to tell you that your parents and your godfather would not want you to kill yourself. Yes, they loved you very much, and I'm sure they still do, but they would not want you to cut short your life here. It's not time for you to be with them. Not yet. You still have so many things to do here."

Harry looked up at him. "But I already killed Voldemort. Isn't that enough?"

"No, child. I only meant that there are so many things for you to experience and enjoy," Severus explained. "And there are many people here who love you and need you. I'm at the top of the list, but you also have many friends who would be devastated if you harmed yourself."

"They all have each other."

"But there is only one Harry," Severus replied. "One person cannot replace another."

They were quiet for a while, sitting in the tall moor grass with Harry curled against Severus' chest while Severus held him close. Harry really didn't know what to think. His thoughts kept going in circles. Part of him still wanted to be with Sirius and his parents. He did miss them, perhaps more than ever now that deep inside, without even being consciously aware of it, he was accepting that he wasn't going to be with them soon after all.

But Severus loved him. He really did. Harry had always, always wanted someone to love him, to have someone of his own who loved him and whom Harry could love in return. But somehow it had never worked out and with Sirius' death, Harry had finally given up hope of ever having a family of his own.

Now it seemed that his dream might have come true without him even realising it. Deep inside, underneath all the tumultuous pain and sorrow, Harry couldn't help feeling a warm glow. Someone loved him, really and truly.

But why did it have to be a slavery spell that had brought them together? Now, if Harry lived, he would have to stay a slave forever. He felt as if he'd cracked into a million tiny pieces inside and could never be put back together the same way again.

As if he'd sensed the direction Harry's thoughts had taken, Severus asked quietly, "Harry, I understand that you miss Sirius Black and your parents, but there's more to it, isn't there?"

He'd thought that he'd cried himself out, but apparently he hadn't. Tears welled up in Harry's eyes again and slid down his cheeks.

"I don't want to be a slave," he whispered.

Severus sighed, a sorrowful sound, and began rocking him again. "I know."

"It's not fair."

"No, it's not," Severus agreed.

Harry looked up at him again. "I'm sorry. You've been wonderful to me and I don't mean to be ungrateful."

But Severus shook his head sharply. "You don't have to apologise, Harry. You aren't being ungrateful. In any case, I wasn't wonderful at the beginning, and I'm sorry. I wish I had done more for you then. Or at any point before now, really. I'm the one who owes you an apology. I've known that being under this spell is painful and difficult for you, and I haven't done enough to help."

"You can't help me," Harry told him dully. "No one can."

"No, Harry, I refuse to believe that," Severus said firmly. "This is hard for you. I'm not denying that. But we can make it better."

"You can't free me."

"Not today, no. But Albus hasn't given up on searching for a way to free you, and Harry, I will help him too. We will keep searching and working, and perhaps one day we will find a way to free you. But you have to persevere, too. What if you kill yourself today, and we find a way to free you tomorrow? You can't give up, either."

Harry didn't respond, but Severus didn't press him on it yet. He just continued. "In the meantime, let's try to figure out ways to help you feel better."

Before Harry could insist that nothing would make him feel better, Severus went on. "Could you tell me one thing about the spell that hurts you the most?"

Harry was quiet for a long time. He started to say something, but then stopped again.

Severus smoothed his hair. "Please?"

"It makes me feel like I'm not as good as I used to be, not as good as other people. I don't feel like I'm the same person I used to be," Harry finally said, almost inaudibly.

Severus abruptly sat up straight and took Harry's face between his hands.

"Harry, you are the best person I've ever met," he said fiercely. "You are kind and generous and compassionate. You are intelligent and hard-working and courageous."

"I'm not very brave," Harry protested.

"Yes, you are. Time and again you have risked your own life to save others. You saved young Miss Weasley from Tom Riddle's memory. You slew a basilisk. You brought Cedric Diggory's body to his parents so they could have a proper funeral instead of only saving yourself, which no one could have blamed you for. And you faced Voldemort, several times even, which is a great deal more than many adult wizards would have the courage to do."

Severus lightly brushed the tear tracks from Harry's cheeks with his fingertips. "Harry, you are a wonderful person. I've grown to love you as if you were my own son. Perhaps it's too soon for us to talk about this, but I would very much like to adopt you. I know that I can't take your parents' place, as I already said, but since they can't be here, I thought perhaps..."

His voice trailed off, suddenly sounding a little nervous, and Harry realised that he was worried about his own reaction. He said softly, "I would love for you to adopt me, Severus. But I'm your slave. How could you adopt me too?"

"Harry, first, this is very important. I never think of you as my slave. I think of you as my son. Will you promise me that you'll try to think of us as a family, too? If it's too soon to think of me as a father, then try to think of me as a guardian, but please don't think of us as slave and master."

"But we are," Harry said in a small voice.

Severus leaned even closer until their foreheads were almost touching. He face and voice were intense as he said, "Harry, the slavery spell does not have to be the defining element of our lives. We have to live by its rules, yes, but we can be so much more. If there were no spell, if we had a way to free you this very minute, I would still want you to live here and be my son. The spell brought us together, but it has nothing to do with my feelings for you. If you could think of us as a family, too, it might help you not to hurt so much."

Severus pulled him close and wrapped his arms around him again. Harry leaned against him and rested his head against Severus' shoulder.

"Harry? Will you please try?"

Harry nodded and Severus caressed his hair again. "Good. Now, secondly, I've done some research and if you want, I could adopt you. The slavery spell does not necessarily preclude other relationships. But you should know adoption in the wizarding world is a magical contract. We would have to go to the Ministry and sign papers and make vows. During the procedure, any other binding spell we are under would be discovered, so..."

Harry was already shaking his head and speaking frantically. "People would find out about the slavery spell? No, please, Severus. It isn't because of the adoption, I would love that, but I don't want everyone to know I'm a slave. Please? I couldn't bear that."

"Shh, child. It's all right. We don't have to go to the Ministry. No one has to know, if you feel that strongly about it. Shh, now."

Harry gulped back a shuddery sob and buried his face against Severus' chest. Severus rubbed comforting circles on his back and began carding through his hair again.

"Harry, I want you to know, though, that in my heart you are my son and that will never change."

Harry slid his arms around Severus and hugged him back. "Severus? I love you, too."

Severus grew very still. "You don't have to say that, Harry. I know it takes time."

Harry looked up at him. "I do love you, Severus. I just didn't know that you loved me. I thought my parents and Sirius were the only ones who did."

Severus' hand came up to cradle the back of his head. "You must promise me that you won't ever attempt suicide again."

When Harry hesitated, Severus said forcefully, "Harry, I can't live without you. If you harm yourself, it would kill me, too. You're everything to me." His voice broke. "Please don't leave me."

Harry thought it was the hardest thing he'd ever done, but finally he gave a small nod. "I won't. I promise."

Severus seemed to sag for an instant before squeezing Harry more tightly than ever.

"Thank you, child. And you will be happy. I promise you."