Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi, everyone! Here's the next chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it.

***Thank you, Kim, Kaity, Ivanova!
Chapter 29

They went back to Prince Hall, exiting from the fireplace in Severus' upstairs sitting room. Dumbledore had invited them to come to Hogwarts after the press conference, but Harry hadn't wanted to. It had struck Severus that it was the first time Harry had preferred Prince Hall to Hogwarts and he'd felt pleased, even though he was also a little concerned, knowing that the boy had always loved the school. But surely that was in large part because Hogwarts had been the closest thing to a home he'd ever had. Now that Harry had a real home at Prince Hall, it was only natural that his attachment to Hogwarts would begin to lessen, wasn't it?

Thinking of the fact that Harry's relatives had never provided him with love or security reminded Severus that they still needed to discuss the Dursleys. From his own brief visit to Privet Drive and the sketchy medical reports he'd gotten from Poppy he'd already deduced that they had been abusive even before he'd seen the old scars on Harry's back. Remembering that sight made Severus' blood boil, but he took a deep breath and pushed the anger away. The Dursleys would be brought to justice, one way or another, eventually. Severus had promised both Harry and himself, and he intended to keep that promise.

But right now, seeing the mingled exhaustion and anxiety on the boy's thin face, Severus decided that it wasn't the best time to mention the Dursleys.

"You were magnificent, Harry," he said, taking a seat on the sofa and motioning for the boy to join him.

Harry curled up in the corner of the sofa, his robes billowing as he drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. A defensive position, Severus noted, that Harry seemed to take when he felt sad or vulnerable, as if he were subconsciously trying to comfort or protect himself.

He flashed Severus a quick smile of thanks at the words, but it faded immediately and then he seemed tired and uneasy again.

"What's wrong?" Severus asked. "I thought you'd be relieved now that that's over."

"I am. It's just that I keep worrying that they'll find out about the spell. Rita Skeeter was already suspicious." Harry looked at Severus with anxious eyes.

"Ms. Skeeter is always on the hunt for a scandal, but I imagine she would have a difficult time discovering the spell." Severus personally thought that Draco Malfoy was the one they ought to be worried about, since he did know the actual incantation of the spell. He might not know what it meant, and it would be difficult for him to decipher, but it would not be impossible for him to do so. But it probably wasn't the right time to mention that to Harry either.

As it turned out, though, Harry was thinking along those lines, too.

"Malfoy could figure it out, couldn't he?"

Severus hesitated, but he didn't want to lie, even in the guise of offering comfort. "I suppose so," he admitted. But then seeing the look on Harry's face, he had to try to reassure him. "But it would be quite difficult for him. Albus has kept the book where he found the spell, and Draco would have to find some very rare texts on archaic languages and then spend hours translating, and this is assuming he remembers the incantation."

"He remembers," Harry said flatly.

Severus sighed. "Yes, I'm sure he does."

Harry looked away, biting his lip, and Severus had to try again. "But there's no real reason for Draco to attempt to decipher the spell. Albus told him you'd made a full recovery and it's quite likely that Draco believes the spell only had some temporary effect that has now completely worn off."

Harry swallowed hard and was silent for a few minutes, thinking it over. Then he said, "But won't he start to wonder when I'm living in your quarters instead of in the Gryffindor dorms?"

"We're going to say that you're still recovering from the curse Bellatrix Lestrange cast against you, that you have to take potions every night and be closely monitored. That should be sufficient explanation for your presence in my rooms," Severus responded.

Harry considered the ruse. "That sounds good. I think people will buy it," he finally nodded.

"Yes," Severus agreed. He studied Harry thoughtfully for a moment before saying, "But if people should happen to discover the truth..."

"They can't!"

"It would not be the end of the world," Severus continued firmly.

"Yes, it would!" Harry shook his head wildly. "How would you like for everyone to know you were a slave, if it were you?"

"I would hate it," Severus admitted. "I do understand how you feel, Harry. But I need you to try to understand that even if the public found out that the people who know you and care for you would stand by your side and help you through it."

Harry looked away, visibly upset. Severus reached over to rest a hand on his shoulder.

"What concerns me is that I believe the reason you're so distraught is because you feel inferior, as you told me the other day," Severus said softly. "And I can't bear for you to feel like that. Am I right, Harry? You told me then that you felt as if you weren't as good as others. Isn't that a large part of why you're so adamant about wanting to keep the spell a secret? You're afraid other people would see you as inferior, too?"

Tears rolled down Harry's cheeks and he bowed his head, hiding his face against his knees, until Severus moved closer and gathered him into his arms. Then he buried his face against Severus' shoulder as the professor held him close, one hand gently curling around the back of his neck

"Harry, shh, it's all right," Severus murmured. "It's just that you're such a good person. Can't you see it? You're caring and thoughtful and kind. I am amazed at how generous and forgiving you are. And I want you to realise what a great person you are, too."

But Harry shook his head and mumbled, "You're just saying that."

Severus sat back a little so he could look the boy in the eye. He arched an eyebrow. "Harry, how likely is it that I would ‘just say' something like that?"

Harry had to laugh a choked, little laugh, in spite of his tears. "Not very," he had to admit.

"Quite right. So you can be certain that I do mean it."

Harry averted his eyes and Severus hid a sigh. He knew it would take time to convince him. Harry had probably suffered from low self-esteem issues for most of his life, considering that he'd been raised in an abusive family, and now the slavery spell had compounded it a hundredfold. The miracle was that Harry had somehow survived and had not let himself become hostile and angry. Severus knew firsthand how easy it was to succumb to bitterness. But Harry truly was a wonderful person and Severus was determined that he would come to see that, too.

But it would take time.

He carded his fingers through Harry's hair. "I know that you've heard many harsh and derogatory comments about yourself for years, child, some of them from me. I am very sorry for all the things I've said and done in the past that have hurt you. I just wish there were a way that I could erase those things. But Harry, I did come to see how wrong I was this past summer. Why do you think that happened?"

Harry looked bewildered and uncertain. He opened his mouth, then closed it.

Severus decided not to make him answer. "Because I got to know you, the real you, not just a false image I had created in my own mind, and I saw that I'd been wrong about you. And believe me, Harry, it was not an easy thing for me to admit that I'd misjudged and mistreated you so badly. But you are such a wonderful person that I finally couldn't deny it any longer. Think about that when you are tempted to feel badly about yourself."

Harry hesitated, but finally gave a small nod. Severus hugged him close again and Harry leaned against him.

"But Severus, what if people do find out?"

"Then we will get through it...together," Severus replied quietly but firmly.

Harry sniffed and Severus could tell he was fighting tears again. He gently patted Harry's back and said softly. "Calm down, child. We will do everything possible to keep it secret, and if people should happen to discover the spell and things became too hard for you, we could always come back here to Prince Hall."

The boy looked up at him with sudden eager hope. "Really?"

For a second, Severus wondered if he'd spoken too rashly. Allowing Harry to virtually hide from the world at Prince Hall might not be the best thing for him in the long run, but Harry was looking at him so hopefully that Severus found he couldn't say no. Besides, there was a very good chance that Harry was getting in a fuss for nothing. It was quite possible that the spell would never be discovered anyway.

So he nodded. "Yes, if you want." Then, deciding that it was time to change the subject, he added, "Now, as I recall, you didn't eat much breakfast. Why don't we ask Norie to bring us some refreshments? I certainly think we've earned a treat."

A few minutes later, they were settling down to a mid-morning snack when green flames shot high in the fireplace and Albus came through. He had been invited back to Prince Hall once he had finished fielding questions from the reporters, but they hadn't known exactly when to expect him.

"Ah, Albus, we were just about to have some tea and cakes. Would you care for some?" Severus asked, gesturing for the headmaster to sit in one of the armchairs and conjuring a plate and cup for him.

"Thank you, Severus. That sounds delightful." Albus took his seat and smiled at them. "I thought our little press conference went rather well."

Harry still didn't seem entirely at ease, but his smile was a little more relaxed. "Thank you for being there with me, sir."

"You're very welcome, Harry. I was happy to be there for you," Albus told him. He paused and added, "I'm sorry that I've let you down so many times in the past."

"It's all right."

"No, it isn't," Albus told him. "But I will try to make up for it from now on, if it's not too late."

Harry just smiled at him again, seeming unsure of what to say. He was quiet as Severus and Albus discussed the morning's events. But the conversation soon turned to the upcoming school year.

"So when will the two of you be returning to Hogwarts?" Albus asked and Severus realised with a pang of regret that it would be time to leave the Hall soon. Of course he'd known that it was the middle of August, but somehow he hadn't thought about summer ending just yet. He didn't really mind being at Hogwarts. The school had been a refuge for him as well as for Harry.

But he didn't particularly enjoy teaching...maybe a few of the brighter students who actually had a talent for Potions, but most of the children had no appreciation for the subtle art that was his passion and no desire to learn it. They endured Severus and he endured them.

Becoming a professor had not been his life's ambition, most definitely. It had been a necessity, ever since he'd left Voldemort and gone to Albus for help and protection. But now...

It dawned on Severus that for perhaps the first time in his life he was free to choose his own path. If he didn't want to teach, he no longer had to. He no longer needed a cover for spying. He no longer needed Albus' protection, at least not in the same way. He could finally fulfill a long-time, once abandoned dream of devoting himself to Potions research...

He happened to glance over at Harry then and realised abruptly that no, he couldn't, at least not yet. He needed to stay at Hogwarts for two more years, long enough for Harry to finish his education there.

But that was all right. He loved Harry and he wanted to be there for him. Harry had given him everything, after all, including this newfound freedom.

Severus was struck anew at how unjust the whole situation was. They had to find a way to liberate him from that slavery spell. It would have been horribly wrong for anyone to have to live under it, but for Harry to suffer...Harry, who had given so much and done so much for everyone else...

He was ashamed, too, that only a few short weeks ago he would have been reluctant to free the boy. But not because he actually wanted Harry to be a slave. He didn't and never had. He'd just been afraid of losing the boy he'd grown to love so much.

But then he'd come so close to losing him anyway, to death, and he'd realised then how much Harry was hurting. And he'd known that if there were some way to free the boy, he would have to do it. He couldn't claim to love Harry and still subject him to the slavery spell, even if freedom meant that Harry would leave.

But lately, he'd begun to hope that Harry just might stay with him after all, even if he did have a choice. Harry had said that he loved Severus, and he seemed to be more comfortable with him. Perhaps even if he could be freed, Harry would still want them to be a family, too.

Of course, there was the little matter of finding a way to lift the curse.

Well, that was another reason for him to stay at Hogwarts. He would have more time to work with Albus on locating or developing a counter-spell if he were at the school. And they would find something. They had to.

Severus realised suddenly that both Harry and Albus were waiting for him to answer. "Oh, I suppose we'll return within a week or so. I need to be back a few days before classes begin. Speaking of which, we haven't bought all of Harry's supplies yet. Albus, do you think we would be mobbed if we went back to Diagon Alley before school resumes?"

"As I'm not a Seer, Severus, I'm not really sure," Albus replied lightly. "I would hope though that people will respect Harry's wishes. You could always give it a try and leave if it doesn't go well."

"Hmm, perhaps. What do you think, Harry?" Severus turned to the boy.

He slowly nodded. "We could try..." he began. Then an idea occurred to him. "Oh, Severus, do you think we could go with the Weasleys and Hermione? They haven't bought their school supplies either."

Severus just barely kept himself from grimacing. He knew that Harry needed his friends, and he'd accepted the idea of Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger coming to visit now and again. He wasn't exactly thrilled about it, but they made Harry happy and so he would tolerate them. He even had to admit that they'd been surprisingly polite and pleasant when they'd come. Of course he knew Harry would see a lot of them at Hogwarts and that was all right, too.

But he didn't like the idea of Harry being around the Weasley family as a whole. Harry's friends were just teenagers, but if Arthur, Molly, and all those older Weasley offspring were included...well, they were a family and a family that had wanted and included Harry long before Severus had grown to love him.

"We shall have to see," he answered. Something in his tone must have conveyed his disapproval because Harry's face fell, and of course Severus couldn't bear that.

"Perhaps, if they're agreeable to the idea as well," he amended and in spite of his reservations, he was touched when Harry gave him a genuine smile.

"Have you decided which courses you're going to take? You'll need to do that before you buy supplies," Albus pointed out.

"Mostly, I think," Harry replied.

They spent the next half hour discussing various classes and professors before Albus left to return to the school.

***

That evening Harry sat on his bed, surrounded by class lists and the career guides that Professor McGonagall had distributed towards the end of the last school term. He'd told Dumbledore that he had a fairly good idea of which courses he was going to take, and for the most part that was true.

If he wanted to be an Auror, he'd need to study Defense, naturally, and Transfiguration, Charms, and Potions. But there were still a couple of classes where he had a choice, and he just wasn't sure which would prove to be more important to him.

History of Magic could be...if Binns ever did anything besides drone on about the goblin rebellions. If he would tell them about dark wizards from the past and the ways that they'd been captured or killed, that might be something Harry would need to know. But Binns hadn't made it beyond goblins in the past five years and Harry doubted he would in the next two.

Then there was Herbology. Harry liked Professor Sprout and he'd always rather enjoyed her classes, too, not to mention Professor McGonagall had said that Herbology could be useful to an Auror...but according to the class lists, it was scheduled at the same time as Charms, which was a requirement for an Auror.

As for Care of Magical Creatures, well, Harry had to admit that as fond as he was of Hagrid, he'd rarely enjoyed Hagrid's classes, and he couldn't wait to drop Divination.

There were a couple of other subjects that he just wasn't sure of, either, and he'd spent the past hour alternately reading through the Auror career guide and the schedules and course offerings from Hogwarts. But he still didn't know what to take.

What he really needed was someone to talk with, someone who could help and advise him. The obvious person was Severus, and Harry had started to go to him a couple of times. He didn't think the professor would mind, but still it was so hard to go and ask him for help. Severus was a busy man and Harry didn't want to bother him or be a nuisance. He was sixteen, after all. He should be able to figure out a few simple things on his own.

But it would be nice to have someone to guide him, someone like a parent.

Harry looked at his door and bit his lip. Severus had said that he wanted Harry to come to him if he had any problems. But this wasn't really a problem, just something he could use a little help with. After a long time, he slowly gathered up his papers and left his room.

Severus was in his sitting room, reclining in a chair and reading a book. Harry paused in the doorway, suddenly reminded of times when he was little and had gone to his aunt or uncle for help. That had only happened a few times. He'd learned very quickly that he was better off keeping quiet and out of sight, even if meant he had to try to solve everything on his own.

But Severus wasn't like Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. He wouldn't get angry if Harry interrupted him, would he?

But what if he did?

Harry almost slipped away back to his room again, but Severus must have sensed his presence and looked up.

"Harry? Did you need something?"

"Um..., not really." He ducked his head and felt himself turning red.

"Come in," Severus immediately got up from his chair and moved to the sofa, gesturing for Harry to join him.

Harry reluctantly took a few steps into the room, mumbling, "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you. It's nothing, really."

"Harry, you're not bothering me. I'm very pleased that you came," Severus said softly. "Now, are those the class schedules from Hogwarts?"

"Um, yeah, I mean yes. There's a couple classes where I can choose, and I wasn't sure what to take, and I thought maybe..., but I could come back later if you're busy," Harry finished swiftly, halfway turning to leave.

Severus was at his side in an instant. "Harry, I would love to help, and I'm never too busy for you. Thank you for coming to me. Let's sit down and go through it all."

He guided Harry over to the sofa and they sat down, spreading the sheets of parchment on a little table before them. Severus glanced over the Auror requirements and then began perusing the schedules.

"Hmm, you definitely will need Herbology. I'm sure this time conflict is an oversight. Both Charms and Herbology are necessary for Healers and for several other careers besides Aurors. You won't be the only NEWT student who needs both. We'll speak with Pomona and Filius when we return. Now about Care of Magical Creatures..."

A short time later it was all settled. Harry was going to take Defense, Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, and Herbology (assuming they could work the timing out, which Severus seemed certain they could). Harry had one other period for a class, but Severus recommended that he use that time for independent study.

"You're right. There really aren't any other classes that would be much use to you," the professor said. "Arithmancy or Ancient Runes might have come in handy, but it's too late for you to pick them up at this point, I think. Sometimes examiners are wary of independent studies, because some students don't put in much effort, but we could have you study advanced defense with Albus and myself and we'll have your coursework well-documented. I think you'll be fine doing that."

As they arranged the parchment in neat stacks, Harry looked over and said quietly, "Thank you for helping me, Severus."

The professor placed an arm around his shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze. "I was glad to, Harry. I mean that."

"Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia hated for me to bother them with anything," Harry said hesitantly. "They always had time to do stuff with Dudley, but they hated me. The first time the vacuum cleaner bag needed changing, I didn't know how to do it and it was hard reading the instructions. I was pretty little then and just learning to read and there were a lot of big words in the instruction manuel. So I went to Aunt Petunia to ask her to help me. I thought she wouldn't mind since she wanted the house to be clean and I was trying to vacuum, like she'd told me. But she got angry with me for disturbing her, and Uncle Vernon heard me asking for help, too."

His voice trailed off, remembering how his aunt and uncle had screamed at him for being a stupid idiot who couldn't do anything right, who was always causing trouble and couldn't earn his keep, who wasn't fit to live with decent people. Uncle Vernon had slapped him a few times, too.

"What happened?" Severus asked quietly.

Harry hesitated, but finally just shook his head. He wasn't ready to talk about the Dursleys. "He didn't like it either."

Severus was very still. Then he said more softly than ever. "I love you, and I want to help you. Always."

Harry gave him a shy smile. "Thank you."

He started to gather up the papers, saying, "I'll go put these away."

But Severus simply moved them to the side. "Let's just put them over here and we can play some chess before bed."

Harry nodded and leaned against him for a moment. "That would be fun."

So Severus summoned the chess board and they played a long and intense match well into the night. It was close to midnight before they finally called a halt.

Harry was smiling as he headed back to his room across the hall.

Chapter End Notes:
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