Severus banged the knocker down on the front door of the Evans residence, fidgeting slightly as he did so. He was dressed in a casual set of pants and a winter white cable knit sweater, another present from Molly Weasley. A minute later, Vi opened the door, and smiled at the Master Healer. "Hello, Sev. Right on time, I see. Come on in."

Severus followed the slightly plump matriarch back into the kitchen and Vi immediately pressed a cup of tea and a shortbread on him before he could refuse. "Lily's gone to freshen up a bit, Sev." Vi told him, he was there to take Lily out on a casual date, to dinner and a movie. "And Hal's taken Harry to the park so he's good and tired and will go to sleep at a decent hour tonight."

Severus sipped his tea, though another part of him was whispering you need something a hell of a lot stronger than tea, like maybe a shot of Glenlivet straight up. Or he would if he drank, he acknowledged with a sigh. Why am I so damn nervous? It's Lily, for Godsake, the girl I grew up with who used to tease and call me Sev the Shadow, ‘cause I practically faded away in sunlight, I was so thin. So why do I feel so bloody awkward, like I was sixteen again?

He was a month shy of his twenty-second birthday, an accomplished professional, and yet a part of him still felt all of that awkward lonely sixteen-year-old, afraid of being rejected by the girl he loved. It was bloody ridiculous! Pull yourself together, Snape.

Vi brought another plate to the table, this one had homemade lemon bars on it. "Have a lemon bar, Sev."

"I'm never going to eat dinner if you keep feeding me, Vi," Severus said, but then he took one anyway. Vi's desserts were fabulous.

Vi watched him unobtrusively, she could tell he was nervous by the way he ran his hand through his hair, try though he did to seem nonchalant. She knew him too well, there had been times during his childhood that she felt he was as much her son as Eileen's, he was over the house so much. There would always be a soft spot in her heart for the shy little boy who had first shown up on her doorstep, his hair hanging in his eyes, saying softly, "Hi, I'm Sev Snape. Can Lily come out and play?" So she decided to give him some advice, much as Eileen might have if she were there.

"You know, Sev, I'm glad you're taking Lily out tonight. She deserves a break from Harry and you deserve a break too from your practice. I know it can be very trying at times, with the amount of patients you see."

"It can be at times," he agreed. "As a Healer, your time is not your own. There are days I eat, sleep, and breathe my Healer's Oath, Vi. But I knew that when I took it, so I shouldn't complain."

"Why not? A little complaining is good for the soul." Severus had always been one to bear his hurts silently, she thought, another legacy of Tobias Snape's harsh discipline. At his half-smile, she continued, "James was just the opposite of you, Sev. If he didn't like something, the whole world knew it. And sometimes he could be very . . .cavalier . . .about other people's feelings. He had a tendency to speak without thinking. Don't get me wrong, I loved my son-in-law, but he wasn't what I was expecting Lily to bring home." She gave Severus a pointed look.

He nearly choked on his tea. "You mean me, don't you?"

Vi smiled warmly. "Yes. I could see you adored her, Sev, even if you couldn't say it."

"She was better off with James. He could give her what I couldn't."

"Money-wise, you mean?"

Severus nodded tightly. "First year of my practice, I worked out of St. Mungos and barely made ends meet. I wouldn't have wanted Lily to live through that."

"And was that why you never told her how you felt?" Vi inquired gently.

"Partly." He shifted uncomfortably.

"James might have had money, Sev, but that didn't make him better than you."

"He loved Lily."

"True, but at first I think he loved the idea of her and not her as a person. That came later. But you, you loved her as a friend and then a woman, and you still do."

Severus nodded.

"Sev, I'm going to tell you something your mother probably would've if she were here now. You need to tell Lily how you really feel. I know it's hard, trusting another with your inner feelings, but Lily won't hurt you like Tobias did."

He looked startled at that. "You know then? About how he was a nasty bugger?"

"Yes. But you never wanted to talk about it, so I let it go. But I could see the signs as well as anyone, Sev. He hurt you badly, son, but you can't let that cripple you for the rest of your life. You're stronger than that, Master Healer Snape. Take a chance with my Lily. You won't regret it."

"I know, Vi. But will she?"

"Will I what?" Lily asked, coming into the kitchen.

Severus glanced up and an appreciative smile quirked up the corner of his mouth. She was dressed in a soft emerald green pantsuit with tiny golden bells about the collar that tinkled softly as she walked. She had put up her hair, leaving only a few fiery tendrils to curl about her shoulders, and her lips were accentuated by a touch of mauve lipstick.

"You look beautiful, Lil," he said softly, and in his dark eyes was an unmistakable longing.

"Thanks, Sev. You look great too." She eyed him up and down, and he blushed. She laughed. She loved that about him, that quality of uncertain innocence, because it meant that the trauma of his childhood had not scarred him irrevocably. He had learned how to hide what he felt, but not to feel nothing. "Shall we go?"

Severus nodded and stood up, holding an arm out for Lily to grasp. He turned to Vi and said, "Thank you for the lemon bar, Vi. It was delicious."

"You're welcome, dear. Have a good time, you two. Don't worry about Harry, Lil, he's usually an angel for us."

Lily laughed. "Really, Mum? Wish he was that way for me."

"I'm a grandma, Lil. Kids always behave better for us. Enjoy your movie and your dinner." She waved them off, and an instant later, the two vanished in a flash of blue light as they Apparated to Twilight Whispers a wizarding restaurant that had live entertainment and a fine cuisine as well.

* * * * * * 

After a fine meal of veal Marsala served over a bed of linguini, which was made for two people, and a scrumptious strawberry parfait, Severus and Lily walked the three blocks to the street that led out of the wizarding side of London and into the Muggle section, which was where they were going to see the movie. The night was cool and clear, and they strolled along casually, since they had an hour or so before the movie began.

The simple act of walking relieved Severus of much of the tension he had been feeling, until he was able to take Lily's hand and hold it as they walked, much as he used to do in those long ago days at Hogwarts.

She smiled up at him, her beautiful evergreen eyes sparkling brighter than the stars overhead. "It's a beautiful night, Sev. I couldn't have magicked up a better one."

"I know. It's a perfect night to take a walk. How did you like your dinner?"

"It was wonderful. But then, so was the company."

"Glad to hear that." He breathed an invisible sigh of relief. At least he hadn't bored her to death by reminiscing about their shared childhood. "I thought you might have gotten sick of remembering that time when you turned Tuney's hair bright blue and she had to walk around with a kerchief until it wore off."

"No, and unfortunately, Tuney's never forgotten it either. I think that's one reason she rarely speaks to me. Because I was the cause of her sixth grade humiliation."

Severus rolled his eyes. "She's still harping on that, is she? Tell her to get over herself, Lily. That was, what, ten years ago? Nowadays, her hair color would have fit right in," he gestured at the group of teens they were walking past, and all of them had dyed their hair in a variety of shades, including electric blue.

Lily laughed, for she could just imagine what Petunia would have said to that typical Snape comment. "Do you remember all the crazy hairstyles she used to try out? She had all those hair magazines and every week she was trying something new." Petunia had been very fashion conscious as a teenager, always trying to keep up with the latest styles.

"I remember that awful beehive one, it looked like she had a helmet on her head," Severus recalled.

"Oh yes, and she thought she looked just brilliant." Lily chuckled. Petunia, bossy vain Petunia, had never lost an opportunity to point out others shortcomings, especially her little sister's and her charity case friend, as she snidely referred to Severus. "Remember how she said my hair looked like a rat's nest and yours like some scruffy dog's compared to hers? And you got mad and told her you were going to summon some bees to make a real hive in her hair unless she shut up?"

Severus nodded, his dark eyes glinting with suppressed mirth. "And she started yelling, ‘Snape, you do any of that creepy magic and I'm telling my mother! Get away from me, freak!' She really believed I knew a spell to summon bees, the silly twit." For weeks afterwards, when Petunia had started getting all snotty and trying to order them around, the two had only to pretend to gesture and make a buzzing noise and the haughty teen would turn pale and run the other way.

"She never could stand bees after that," Lily recalled, smirking mischievously. "Remember the time she got stuck watching us because Mum and Dad had to go to the hospital to visit my aunt who'd had a heart attack?"

"Was that the time she locked us in the basement because we wouldn't be her servant?"

"Yes. She was so mad she had to stay home with us instead of going to the cinema with all her friends." Lily shook her head. Petunia could hold a grudge with the best of them, and since she couldn't take out her bad mood on her parents, she had resorted to making Sev and Lily suffer instead.

"That was the time I threatened to burn the door down if she didn't let us out. I think I did light the door on fire a little," Severus said, for even at eight, his accidental magic was very strong.

"It would have served her right if you had burned the door down, the little dictator," Lily snorted. "And what about the ‘Pig Face' spell?" She began to laugh, for that had been the best prank of all.

* * * * * * 

They had been eleven and Petunia fourteen, and the older girl had been vain beyond bearing, always checking her appearance in a mirror twelve times a day at least, and looking down at Severus because he always looked so scruffy, he never had money to get a proper hair cut, and his clothes were usually worn and secondhand because Tobias drank away all the money Eileen made for household expenses.

"How can you stand to be friends with that slimy Snape, Lils?" she used to ask her sister. "Is it out of pity? Because you could always give him a ten pound note and send him away to buy normal clothes and take a bath. They've got relief programs for kids like him, you know."

"Severus is not a charity case, Tuney! It's not his fault his dad's a bounder who drinks and doesn't have a job."

"Humph! Best you watch your step, Lily. That Snape is no good, that kind of thing runs in the blood. Mark me, he'll turn out a deadbeat just like his old man someday." Petunia had sniffed self-righteously.

"That's a lie, Tuney! Sev's nothing like his father. You'd know that if you ever quit admiring yourself in the mirror and got to know normal people," Lily defended her friend hotly.

"Normal people? Like you and your freaky friends? The only thing normal about you is our parents. Sometimes I doubt you're my sister. Maybe Mum and Dad found you on the doorstep as a baby, that would explain a lot."

"Shut up, Petunia! You think you're so perfect, but you're not!" Lily shouted, losing her temper. "You're nothing but a pig in human shape!" She had pointed her wand at Petunia's mirror, and suddenly Petunia's reflection disappeared, to be replaced by a pig's wide face. "See? Even the mirror knows the truth."

Petunia had gazed upon the mirror in horror. "Make it go away! Lily, make it go a-awa-a-y! I'm not a pig! Oh good Lord, look at me! I've got a pig face!"

She had rushed into the bathroom to examine herself, and discovered to her horror that the bathroom mirror also showed her with a pig's face. "Oh MY Gawd! I'm a pig! A stinking filthy PIG! Lily, change me back! Please?"

Lily had sniffed at her and said, "Can't. It'll just have to wear off."

"Wear OFF! But . . .but Lily, you can't leave me this way! My friends, my boyfriend Josh . . .what will they think?" Petunia wailed.

"That you're a pig face," Lily had remarked cooly, for little did Tuney realize that the spell was only upon mirrors, not upon her personally. "I think it's an improvement."

"Lily Ann Evans, you take this . . .magic off me this instant!"she had screeched. "Or I'm telling Mum you were using magic on me outside of school."

So Lily had taken the spell off, because she did not want to get into that much trouble, fun as it was to get her arrogant sister's goat. But she told Severus about it the next day, and he had laughed so hard he nearly cried. And when he came over that afternoon and Petunia had opened the door, he had said, "Hello, Pig Face. Mud's great for the complexion, huh?"

And Petunia had screeched, "OOOh, I HATE you, Severus Snape!" and slammed the door in his face.

Lily had heard, however, and come down to let him in, apologizing for her sister.

"Don't worry, Lil. It's expected, she's got the manners of a pig," Severus said slyly, and the two had dissolved into giggles.

* * * * * * 

"Those were the days, huh, Sev? Us against Tuney," Lily said, sharing a conspiratorial grin with her best friend, then, now, and always.

"We were a couple of annoying brats, but we had fun," Severus chuckled. "And Tuney always brought it on herself, for acting like she was the queen of the bloody universe." Those times had been one of the few good memories he had of his childhood. The rest of it had been one long dark saga of despair and pain and suffering. Tobias had been his own personal devil, until Severus had gone away to school and met Sirius, James, and Remus, who also offered him friendship and sanctuary at their houses once they learned what his home life was like from Lily, so for a few weeks in the summer he didn't need to endure his father's unpredictable temper and the man's heavy hand.

Severus shook his head, banishing the dark thoughts to the back of his head. He did not want to think about that, not now. All he wanted right then was to enjoy this evening with Lily. They had reached the cinema, and he quickly went to the ticket counter to purchase their tickets.

* * * * * *  

Afterwards, they walked back to the wizard side of London leisurely, pausing on one of the bridges that overlooked the Thames to gaze out at the midnight water, that glistened from all the lights reflected in its depths.

"What a fantastic night," Lily murmured, turning to look up at her silent partner.

"Yes."

"Sev? Is something the matter? You're more quiet than usual."

"That's because I'm thinking."

"Dare I ask about what?"

"You."

Lily arched an eyebrow. "What about me, Sev?"

He took a breath, calling upon all the courage he possessed, and then he said, "I was thinking about how much I envied James for having what I always wanted. Not his money or his mansion or his looks, but you. You were always . . .I have always . . .loved you, Lily. I just never knew how to say it. So I . . .said nothing. And James did, and so you married him." He took another deep breath. "I would have kept silent forever had James lived, but now . . .now things are different. And I want you to know the truth, Lily. I have always loved you. And I will never stop loving you."

Lily put her hands on his shoulders, and tilted her face up to him. "Oh, Sev. I never knew. If I had . . ."

"You would have had to choose." Severus said softly.

"No. For there would have been no choice. I thought James was a fairytale prince, Sev, but fairytales don't last. I learned that six months after we were married, and he was away more than he was home, obsessed with defeating Voldemort. He was home for Harry's birth because I insisted, but afterwards, back he went to the hunt. I loved him dearly, but I always knew I took second place to his quest for glory. That would have never been the case with you, Sev."

"No. You would have always been first with me," he said, and one hand came up to caress her hair. She leaned into his caress, and he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her the way he had dreamed of doing.

Slowly, with exquisite tenderness that nevertheless managed to steal the breath from her body.

She put her arms about him, deepening the kiss, and for the first time felt the all-consuming desire the poets Keats and Byron spoke of. Oh, she had felt passion with James, but never like this.

This was true magic.

A magic as old as time, as powerful as the earth, as eternal as the heavens.

Lily kissed him back ardently, reveling in this wonderful new feeling.

So this is what it means to be first. Dear sweet Merlin!

Severus reveled in that kiss, which was at once gentle and wild, and for the first time in his life he allowed his emotions to overrule his head and simply allowed himself to feel. 

Kissing Lily was agony and ecstasy all rolled into one, a joy so great it hurt, and despite the sweet misery he never wanted it to end. He had dreamed of this moment for so long, but the reality eclipsed his wildest imaginings. Nothing could have prepared him for the emotions aroused by that first kiss.

He hadn't intended to do more than test the waters tonight, but his heart had other plans, and he found himself surrendering willingly to the tide and letting passion sweep him away, to a place he had seen only in dreams, but had never known, until now.

Paradise.