Severus hadn't had a good morning. He hadn't had a good night before this bleak morning to begin with. Tiredly, he rubbed his unshaven face and sighed.

Last night, he had learned from Scilla that Harry was indeed in a strong need of professional attention. It didn't come as a surprise, but it still left Severus unsettled and disturbed.

When he had finally pulled himself together, he had had to go and argue with Albus and Minerva about Harry's needs, and he had lost spectacularly in the - rather heated - discussion. It was clear that if he wanted Harry to get Scilla's help, they would have to either do it in secret at Hogwarts - which Severus could hardly imagine - or Severus would have to 'kidnap' his son out of Albus' care.

Talk about options! Severus thought wearily and sighed again.

Severus didn't want to have an enemy in Albus. He wasn't in a convenient position to make an enemy out of someone so powerful. Damn it.

***

Severus' perception of Albus had gone through many changes. It had begun as a deep feeling of bitterness over Albus' biased treatment of Slytherins and Gryffindors - mainly Severus and Marauders, of course.

The bitterness had changed into contempt during a single short meeting with Albus the night Severus had decided to take a big risk and meet Dumbledore to warn him about the Potters being the Dark Lord's next target. He had wanted to save Lily, and he had said as much to the older wizard. He wasn't prepared to hear Dumbledore's horrible accusations. Of course Severus wanted to save Lily's child as well! When he had said that Lily must go to hiding, Severus automatically counted on her taking her child with her. He was prepared to freely admit he didn't care if Potter died. So what? He was an Auror, he chose fighting as his occupation, so why Severus should care about his safety? Of course, he didn't let Dumbledore know, but the older wizard's accusations cut deep.

The fact that Dumbledore made him pay - by spying - didn't come as a surprise after that. Dumbledore had made it sound as if keeping Potters safe was a favour to Severus - as if it wasn't for Albus' sake as well - to keep one of the two prodigy children safe. And yet, he forced Severus to pay for it. His Good deed was punished. Now, this was the world as Severus knew it.

After Lily's death, the contempt had changed into a feeling grudging gratefulness to Albus when the older man rescued Severus from Azkaban. He knew Dumbledore could have let him rot in the prison if he wanted. In his vulnerability, Severus nearly believed, for a short time, that Albus cared.  Of course, after his mind - with a huge amount of help from Scilla - got into some kind of balance, he saw clearly that Dumbledore neither cared nor had he saved him out of loyalty to one of his secret henchmen. Albus knew he might need Severus later on. He was just a pawn of Albus' machinations.

Many years had come and gone and Severus was still just a pawn on Albus' chessboard. He rarely thought about it anymore, and he didn't feel too bitter over it. He had accepted the truth long ago. He wasn't happy, but it wasn't Albus' fault. Severus hadn't even protested against his renewed role as a spy. Regardless of his feelings towards Albus, Severus knew the Dark Lord had killed Lily and he would do anything to bring him down.

The situation on the chessboard changed, though. At least on Severus' chessboard. A new figure had appeared. All of sudden. A figure of top importance. Severus still didn't understand how it had happened. How the hell could he have a son with Lily if he had never had any intimate relations with her? Severus shook his head to clear his thoughts. He needed to concentrate. How to get help for Harry without getting on the wrong side of Albus?

***

Severus had walked, furious and helpless down from the Headmaster's office. If someone had told him back then that the events of the day were going to go even further downhill, he would have laughed at them. But it did go downhill.

He'd found Harry on the top of the Astronomy tower, half frozen, suffering from a panic attack, and Severus had had to persuade the child to come back inside. Harry had then fallen asleep and Severus had wanted nothing more than to follow his example. Instead, he wrote Scilla to come as soon as possible, and he had desperately tried to think up a plan of how to ensure that his son received counselling sessions without aggravating Albus too much.

***

Finally, Severus decided to sleep on the problem to see if it would look better in the morning, and went to try to catch a wink. The following morning came all too soon, and Severus' only reasonable plan consisted of a faked illness that would place Harry into the infirmary for at least two weeks. He was certain Poppy would easily come up with some nice disease they could use and then her sister might coincidentally come for a short holiday to Hogwarts.  

To Severus' relief, Scilla came by very early, around six a.m. He was glad he would have time to explain the situation before Harry woke up. He briefly described his son's panic attack at the Astronomy tower. He had wanted to explain Albus attitude and offer his only plan, but the talk had sidetracked somehow, and Severus had felt compelled to explain about his and Harry's newfound relationship. Severus knew he would need her advice on how to deliver this problematic piece of information to Harry. Right in the middle of his explanation, however, he heard a surprised gasp from the guest room.

***

"Damn it!" Severus cursed inwardly as he shot out of the armchair and hurried to the guest bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, just as Severus had left it last night in case Harry suffered from a nightmare.

Harry was standing near the door, his face pale, his eyes unseeing. Severus noticed idly that the foolish child was barefoot.

"He's in shock." Severus heard Scilla's assessment from behind him. "Get him a Calming Draught." Severus obeyed. The last thing he saw was Scilla taking his son around his bony shoulders.

Apparently, she had led him into the sitting room, for when Severus got back with the respective phial in his hand, he found Harry sitting limply on the couch. The faraway look in his eyes hadn't changed. Severus quickly fed him the Draught and waited for five seconds.

The green eyes focused and turned towards him. "Is that true?" Severus nodded.

"I'm your..." Harry trailed off. Severus nodded again. "You're sure?" A third nod. Severus was starting to feel as a nodding doll, but he couldn't find anything to say.

"Why don't we discuss it over breakfast?" Scilla asked pleasantly. Severus nodded and went towards the fireplace to order food for three.

"Did you hear what we were talking about before, Harry? About your needing some help to sort everything out?" Scilla asked meanwhile.

The teenager nodded. "Yeah. I just didn't know-  never mind. I think you're right, I- I don't think I'm coping, really. Why doesn't Dumbledore want you to help me?" Severus could hear the trail of betrayal underneath the calm surface. He noted in satisfaction that the Calming Draught had worked well on Harry.

Before Scilla managed to answer Harry's question, the boy started talking again. "I mean, why shouldn't he want to help me?" he mused, "I can't go barmy, he wants me to defeat Voldemort and all."

Scilla gasped and visibly paled.

"Potter!" Severus cleared his throat and continued in much softer voice, "Harry, don't say his name." He raised a hand to stiff his son's protests. "Don't argue with me now, we have more important matters to discuss. Let's move to the table."

The teen calmly stood up and moved to the table. No arguing, no defiance. Severus thought idly that he and Potter might have gotten along much better if he had kept dosing him regularly since his first year. Old habits die hard.

Harry buttered a roll and remarked, " It's great to feel this calm. I don't think I've ever been so calm before. It's... peaceful."

"Your emotions are suppressed and so you can sort facts logically and objectively," Severus explained. Then he cleared his throat, "I'm sorry that you had to learn about... eh...us in this undignified way." He paused, and looked at Scilla helplessly. What now?

"It's really odd," Harry agreed easily, "and to think that if you hadn't experimented with those potions, you would never have found out at all." He paused for a minute and then added, "I suppose you do want me as a son, as you gave me Nephele and you try to help me." The sentence sounded more like a question than observation.

"I do want you." Severus said resolutely. "I wish I had known earlier. Much earlier."

"Yeah," Harry agreed lightly, "I wouldn't have had to grow up at Dursleys. Still, that's strange. I mean, I wasn't aware you knew mum. Even though it's logical. You knew dad and she was his classmate, so you had to have known her."

Severus didn't like the direction this conversation was taking. He certainly didn't want to talk about his feelings concerning Lily or about the lack of intimate relationship that could explain Harry's existence. Then there was also the fact that they had only about two hours, or even less, before the effect of the Calming Draught would start to evaporate. They should use that time well.

"We have to make plans for future," he said. "I want you to get Scilla's support, because I know from my own experience how helpful she can be. We will have to find a way to bypass Dumbledore."

"If I'm your son and a minor, you can decide freely what help I get or not," Harry paused minutely, "Wow, I think that's the Calming Draught speaking, not me."

Scilla laughed and Severus' lips quirked a bit as well. "Indeed," he said dryly. Then his tone turned serious again, "As you know, Harry, I am a double agent. For that we can't reveal our relationship to public, and thus Albus can decide to ignore my wishes on this matter as well." Severus explained gently.

"So, we'll hide it?" Harry asked, his tone disappointed. "Does it mean that you'll continue to be nasty to me in class?"

"I can't recommend this," Scilla stepped into the talk for the first time. "It would be very taxing for a healthy boy of Harry's age to be verbally attacked on a regular basis, even with the knowledge that it's just an act. In the situation we are in, it is absolutely out of question."

Severus noticed how carefully she got around the word 'child', and how resolutely she spoke. He also noticed the grateful expression which appeared on Harry's face. He sighed. "Alright," he said. "That leaves only two options, either we come out with the truth, or we remove you from my Potions class."

"I would prefer the first one. It's not as if I care about Potions," Harry explained and Severus had to suppress a frown, "but I think it would be better if you could support me freely. Also, the spying is dangerous and I don't want to lose you now that I've found you - er, that you found me. I suppose it sounds selfish, but that's how I feel. I think."

Severus' breath caught. This was the first time Harry had clearly revealed his position - he wanted Severus. He wanted him. Severus knew Harry certainly wouldn't say it if he wasn't dosed with the Calming Draught. He was surprised to find that it was exactly what he needed to hear from his son. Now he suddenly knew that, he had the strength to fight world, with Harry and for Harry.

He cleared his throat, "I suppose your stance is understandable, Harry. I will take it into consideration." He would need to talk this through with Scilla later, he decided.

Scilla had another opinion, unfortunately. She wanted to discuss it immediately. "I support Harry's opinion. You should quit spying, Severus, and concentrate on helping Harry. You two need time to get to know each other."

"I don't think Albus will agree," Severus objected. The truth was, Severus wasn't all too sure he wanted to end his dangerous spying mission. It was his way to avenge Lily; his contribution to the war against the Dark Lord. Then again, he realised, healing Harry and training him to the best of his abilities would be as valuable a contribution.

"Do you think he would try to silence you?" Scilla asked. Harry blinked in surprise, and even Severus was surprised by her forthrightness. He knew she had never liked Albus much, but he had never asked why. Maybe he should have.

"Not in the sense that he would try to kill me, no," Severus said, "I think he would rather send me on a distant mission or blackmail me with my past. It was he who got me out of Azkaban, it wouldn't be hard for him to get me back in."

Uneasy silence settled around them. Then Scilla asked hesitantly, "When Harry said Dumbledore expected him to defeat You-Know-Who, you didn't raise any objection, Severus. Do you two really believe that Harry will have to kill the monster?"

Both of them nodded. "It's a prophecy," Harry explained sadly. "He kills me or I kill him."

"Unfortunately, it's true," Severus confirmed unhappily and poured Harry more tea. "I thought up a plan last night, and I think we still can use it, it will buy us some time."

"What plan is that, Severus?" Scilla asked and Severus explained his Harry-in-the-infirmary plan.

Harry frowned and mumbled something about disliking the infirmary, but Scilla nodded. "It should work. I'm confident that Poppy will ensure that we have at least three weeks. It shouldn't be so bad, Harry. I understand that you don't like the infirmary much, but I will be there for you, and Severus will visit." Harry evidently didn't seem coaxed enough for she added, "I'll persuade my sister to allow you to have Nephele with you."

Harry sighed. "I guess it's the best option." Then he added, "You know, I don't feel absolutely calm anymore. More like... kinda fidgety." As if to make his point, he fidgeted. Then he yawned.

"I think you need some rest. It would be better if you fell asleep before the Calming Draught wears off," Severus said as he got up. "Let's get you back to bed, son."

Harry smiled at him and Severus couldn't help but smile back.