There was a long moments silence, Severus lost in reflection, Harry looking at him expectantly.

“Err…  Dad,” Harry said gently tugging his father’s sleeve, “Are you actually going to tell me something?”

“I’m sorry, Harry.  What were you saying?”  Severus asked returning to the present.

“You said you’d tell me about becoming a family, but then you sort of… drifted off,” Harry explained.

“I apologize.  I was simply trying to determine the best way to do that,” Severus paused for a moment rubbing his chin in thought, “I believe it would be best if we started at the beginning.”

“So, when’s that?” Harry asked excitedly.

“Since you are already aware of how I came to meet your mother –”

“At the play park right?”  Harry interrupted.  “That’s when you saw her making the flower open and close and Aunt Tuney didn’t like doing that and she started calling you names…”  Harry rushed out excitedly.

“That is correct.  However, if you wish for me to continue this tale you will refrain from making any further interruptions,” Severus said calmly.

“Right, sorry,” Harry said, grinning.

“Your mother and I did not become friends that afternoon.  In fact, your mother took great offense to me informing her that she was a witch.  She thought that I had called her a name.  It took me several weeks to convince her otherwise.  When I finally did, your mother wished to hear everything I knew about magic; from what Hogwarts was like, to who guards the gates of Azkaban,” Severus said with a small smile.

“I know all of this, Dad.  What’s this got to do with us being a family?”  Harry asked exasperatedly. 

“It has a great deal to do with our becoming a family.  Your mother and I forged a close friendship during that time we spent talking before we came to Hogwarts.  If we had not already been friends before we came to Hogwarts, you mother and I might never have become friends at all.  I am sure you are already aware of the reason why we would not have become friends.”

“’Cause you’re in different Houses, right?” Harry supplied.

“That is correct.”

“Ja-Dad was in the same House as Mum, right?” Harry asked already knowing the answer.

“That is also correct.  They were both Gryffindors, whereas I was –”

“A Slytherin,” Harry said, rolling his eyes at his father’s green shirt.  “Still, what’s this got to do with our family?”

“You mother and I remained friends despite all odds.  Although it is not common, it is not completely unheard of for Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, or Ravenclaws to be friends.  However, it is very rare to see Gryffindors and Slytherins be friends, they are just too different in mentality.  Many of the professors commented that they had not seen as close of a cross-House friendship as your mother and I shared in many years.”  Severus let out a small sigh.  “But like all friendships, we were not without our difficulties.

“As we grew older, your mother and I grew further apart.  I still cared a great deal for her; when I was about fourteen, I realized I felt more than friendship for your mother, but she did not feel the same way about me, at least at the time.” 

At Harry’s puzzled expression Severus explained.  “I had fallen in love with Lily, probably the moment I first saw her.  However, it was at this point I began to get romantic notions of the two of us crossing my hormone-addled mind.  Along with the hormones, there was also another matter that complicated things. 

“Your mother did not care for some of my associates from within my own House.  She thought they were a bad influence.  As it turned out, she was correct in her assessment of their character; but, at the time, I was not as willing to listen.  We began to speak less frequently, almost to the point of no communication.  It was in this time, during our seventh year, your mother began to date James.”

“I was… less than thrilled by her decision.  As I said before, I still cared greatly for your mother and as she may have told you, James and I were… not the best of friends.”

“Mum said that Dad used to pick on you something awful.  Worse than Dudley does to me when we have to go to Aunt Tuney’s house for Christmas, or Dud’s birthday,” Harry said honestly.

Severus nodded and said, “Yes, that would be a… generous assessment of the situation.  It was, most likely, Lily’s choice in boyfriends that displeased me the most,  not the fact that she was involved with somebody other than myself.  My jealously lead me to do several very stupid things.  The most significant of these errors was becoming a Death Eater.”

“As a supporter of the Dark Lord, I was forced to do many terrible things.  None of which you are old enough to hear about,” Severus added quickly seeing a renewed look of curiosity cross the boy’s face. 

At that moment, Severus made a silent oath to himself that he would never, even under the threat of the Cruciatus Curse, tell Harry any of the things he had done in his Death Eater days.

“So, why didn’t you just quit if you had to do bad things?”  Harry asked.

There was a moment’s pause.

What Severus was about to tell Harry was not something he would normally admit to.  Thinking on it, he could not honestly remember the last time he had uttered this words.

“I was afraid.  I knew that if I were to tell the Dark Lord that I wanted out, he would have killed me.  That does not excuse my actions, but it is the only defense I have.  While I was committing unspeakable atrocities, your parent’s relationship was becoming more serious.  It was not long after they left Hogwarts that they were married.  Much to my surprise, I was invited to the wedding, but I was unable to attend.  I had a… previous engagement. 

“Along with getting married, your parents also became members of the Order of the Phoenix in this time.  The Order was a group founded, and led by, Professor Dumbledore.  It was dedicated to fighting the Dark Lord.  From their connections to this group, your mother heard numerous claims that I had joined the Death Eaters.  At first, she refused to believe them.  Even after seeing who I was spending time with at Hogwarts, she did not think me capable of committing the kinds of atrocities that were required of them.  For this reason, she stayed in limited contact with me, an occasional letter for the most part.  That was how I found out of your birth.

“This bit of information should have been happy news.  Instead, it sent shivers down my spine,” Severus said.

“Why Dad?”  Harry asked.

“Do you remember what I told you on your birthday?”

“About what?  We talked about a lot of things.”

Severus let out an irritated sigh.  He had spent two hours telling the boy about his father’s murder; why and how it had occurred, or at least as much as he deemed appropriate for a ten-year old.

“I am referring especially to the matter of the prophecy.” 

Harry shook his head. 

“A few months before you were born, a very foolish young man  was eavesdropping on a conversation between the Headmaster and one of the candidates for the Divination position.  The interview was not going well for the woman.  That did not matter, though, because just when the professor was about to leave, the woman made a true prophecy.  The young man listening only heard part of it because the proprietor of the establishment caught him.”

“So what did Dumbledore do?”

“Professor Dumbledore, Harry; the Headmaster was not very happy.  He turned down the young man for the position he applied for,  but sadly that did not matter.”

“How come?  Was it ‘cause he heard the prophecy?”  Harry asked.

“Yes, the Dark Lord was informed of all that the young man had heard.  The Dark Lord believed the prophecy referred to your family and began to search for you.  When I learned the Dark Lord was hunting for you, I immediately went to the Headmaster.”

“How did you find out?”  Harry asked curiously.

Severus grew quiet.  He had no desire to tell Harry the truth at this moment.  He in fact had been the “foolish young man” that was eavesdropping on the Headmaster and had relayed the prophecy to the Dark Lord.  He did plan to tell Harry the truth, but sometime later; perhaps when he came of age.  Right now, Harry was too young; he would never be able to understand why Severus had done it, or forgive him.  The thought of losing Harry’s love scared Severus even more than he could have realized.

After a moment’s awkward silence, he began again, “The Dark Lord informed all of his Death Eaters about the prophecy.”

“Okay, so what did Dumbledore do when you told him?” 

“He assisted with your parents in going into hiding –” 

“Under the Fiddleless Charm or something,” Harry added.

“The Fidelius Charm,” Severus said, stressing the proper name of the incantation.  “It was supposed to prevent the Dark Lord from ever finding them.  The Charm is very complex and depends on the secret, in this case the location of your parents’ hiding place, to be entrusted to a sole individual: the Secret Keeper.  As long as this individual does not disclose the information, the person can look for those they seek for the rest of their lives and never find them, even if they were standing on their doorstep.”

“Then how come Dad died and I have my scar?”  he asked, placing a finger over his right eyebrow, where the lightening shaped mark resided.

“You are already aware of how your family came to be found.  I informed you of this in the same conversation on your birthday.”

Harry gave his father a confused look for a moment.  “Pettigrew… that rat bastard,” Harry whispered ominously.

“You will kindly refrain from the use of such language in my presence, Mr Potter,  however an accurate of description his character it might be.  The rat, Peter Pettigrew, was a weak willed little man.  He, along with Sirius and Remus, had been friends of your father since Hogwarts.  Pettigrew was made the Secret Keeper because your father believed he was the last one the Dark Lord would suspect of being given the information.  By the time I learned he was a spy, and informed Dumbledore of his impending betrayal, it was too late.  Believe me, Harry, if I had known sooner, I would have told Dumbledore,”  Severus said softly, his eyes pleading for understanding.

“I know that, Dad.”  Harry gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile.  “So,” he said, trying to break the overwhelming tension that had built up over the last few minutes. “When did you and Mum start talking again?  I mean, for real.”

“Your mother and I began to re-establish the lines of communication not long after James’ death.  However, that first meeting was far from pleasant,” Severus explained to Harry.

“Really?  What happened?”

“She wanted to know why I had done what I had; both with joining the Death Eaters and becoming a spy,” Severus said sadly. 

***

It had been a week since Voldemort’s attack, which had left Lily Potter a widow.  She currently sat in the living room of her childhood home.  Both her parents had died the year before and her sister lived in Surrey, so the house had sat empty since their death.  The aftermath of the attack had left the house in Godric’s Hallow structurally unstable.  It, of course, could be repaired by magic, but Lily had no desire to return.  Instead, she had moved back home. 

The room was crowded with her and James’ friends, gathered for his wake.  Lily, however, had no desire to be there.  Both she and Harry had been plagued by nightmares.  This left them both tired and cranky.  Harry refused to be comforted by Lily, or anyone else.  She could see him  across the room, in tears in his godfather’s arms.

Feeling somebody behind her Lily turned; there stood Remus Lupin.  He was pale and looked tired.  His transformation had only been a few days ago, it was  amazing he had been able to help as much as he had. 

“How are you doing, Lily?” he croaked.

Lily shrugged.  “As well as can be expected, I guess, with about seven hours sleep in as many days, a cranky toddler who refuses to be comforted and a houseful of people.”

Remus gave her a look of concern.  “Is there anything I can do?”  he asked after a moment’s awkward silence.

Lily wanted to laugh.  She wanted to tell him if he could get rid of all the well-wishers, get Harry to sleep more than two hours a night and bring back her husband that would be great.  However, she just shook her head.  “Why don’t you take Harry?  I’m not sure how much longer Sirius can take a toddler screaming in his face.”

Remus gave her a slight smile, a reassuring squeeze of the arm, and headed off to relieve his friend.

Alone once more or, alone as one can be in a room full of people, Lily drifted back into thought.

She looked out the window and saw the broken down factory for what had to be the thousandth time since returning to this house.  Like every time before her thoughts instantly went to Severus.  He lived not a half a mile past the other side of the mill; that was if he still lived at Spinner’s End.  Even if he did, he would not be there.  Dumbledore told her that Severus was now employed as the new Potions Master at Hogwarts.

Despite herself, Lily’s lips quirked upwards at the idea of Severus Snape as a professor.  Even as an adolescent, Severus hated teenagers.  He hated their obsessions over frivolous matters, like who was now dating whom, their impatience in the laboratory (a recipe for disaster in Potions classes), and how much noise they made.  Lily remembered him complaining at one point that it was impossible to go anywhere in the castle where students were without having your ears assaulted.  At the time, Lily had laughed and said he was being silly.  Now, it seemed even more humorous. 

Maybe this was the universe’s way of making Severus pay for his sins.  A man who hated teenagers forced to teach them forever, or at least the foreseeable future. 

Several hours later, after the last of the guests had left, Lily made up her mind.  She was going to speak to Severus, tonight.  She looked in on Harry.  He was asleep, at least for the moment, in Remus’ room.  Remus had been staying with them for the last couple of days, helping with Harry when he could and recovering from his last transformation.

Lily placed a kiss on the lightning bolt-shaped scar before heading back down the hall.  She found Remus in the kitchen washing dishes the Muggle way.  They exchanged smiles before an awkward silence fell.

“Harry asleep?” Remus asked placing a dish in the drying rack.

“For now.  Remus, would you mind if I went to Hogwarts for a few hours?”  Lily asked nervously turning over a dishtowel in her hands.

“Of course not, Lily.  May I ask why you want to go?”

“I’d rather not say.  It’s a private matter,” Lily said.

Remus nodded. “It was rude of me to ask.  I’ll look after Harry while you’re gone.  Go, I’ll be here.” Remus said warmly.

“Thanks Remus, I’ll be back later,” Lily said setting the towel down and going out to the living room.

She threw a pinch of Floo Powder in the grate, stepped in and called out “Hogwarts”.  A moment later she was stepping into the Headmaster’s office.

Albus raised an eyebrow at the appearance of the redhead. 

“Good evening Lily, is there some way I can be of assistance?”

“I wanted to talk to Severus,” she said.

“I see.  I can call him here in a moment…”

Lily shook her head.  “Actually I’d like to speak with him in private.  Where are his quarters?”

“They are not far from the Potions classroom, but he will not be there.  He assigned several first year Hufflepuffs detention for tonight.  From what I understand, the children somehow melted their cauldrons, and the soles of several people’s shoes, requiring trips to the Hospital Wing for all those involved.”

Lily frowned, “Can I still go?”

“It is up to you, but I felt it best to warn you he might not be in any mood to talk.”

“Thank you, Headmaster; good evening,” she said, heading for the door and the revolving staircase that lay beyond.

It took a moment for Lily to get her bearings, but once she did she made her way through the familiar hallways in good time.  Once she reached the Potions classroom, she paused long enough to take a long calming breath before opening the door.

The two first years stood at one of the sinks scrubbing cauldrons.  Severus looked up from the papers he was marking at his desk.

“Good Evening, Mrs Potter, can I help you with something?” Severus greeted coolly, setting his quill aside.

“I was hoping we could talk,” she said hopefully. “But if you want, I could come back some other time.”

Severus was taken aback. Lily Potter was standing in his classroom.  The two of them had not spoken in over three years.  Yes, there had been some contact; Lily had sent maybe a half a dozen letters over the years.  but most of those had been mass mailings: wedding invitation and birth announcements, Christmas cards, and the like.  Even the latter or two that he had received were not that personal.  So, why was she here? 

“Jones, Smith, you are dismissed for the evening,” Severus barked out.

One of the boys quickly dropped his half-finished cauldron at the word.  It was obvious that he did not want to spend a minute longer in the dungeons than he had to.  His cohort was far less exuberant.

“Sir, you said that…” he began.

“I am fully aware of what I said, Smith.  You will complete the rest of the hours on Saturday.  Now, however, you are dismissed.  So get out!” Severus snapped at the boy.

Smith placed the cauldron on the counter and made a beeline for the door.

“You didn’t have to be so nasty to the boy, Sev.” Lily admonished softly.

Lily almost thought she saw Severus shudder at the use of his childhood nickname.

“What is that you want to speak about Mrs Potter?” Severus said making his way around the desk.

“I wanted to ask you…  Is there some place a little more comfortable that we could talk about this?” Lily asked.

Severus was half inclined to say no, not until he found out what she wanted to talk about; but that was no way to try and repair their strained friendship. 

“Of course, follow me,” he said, making his way to Lily and the door.

They walked down the hallway a short while before coming to a portrait of Nicolas Flamel.  Severus muttered a password and the door swung open.  A flick of his wand and the dark room was flooded with light.  Another flick and an inviting fire sprung to life in the hearth.

“Wow, Sev, this is really nice,” Lily said, taking a seat on the rarely used sofa.

“Would you care for tea?”  Severus asked hesitantly.

He was not used to having guests.  Even as a child, people rarely came by the house.  He quickly ordered a tea tray from the kitchens.  A moment later, it appeared with a heavily laden plate of biscuits.

“You don’t have to be so nervous, Sev.”  This time she was sure he cringed at the use of his nickname. 

“Lily, please,” Severus said sadly.

“Sev, what’s wrong?  It’s just me.”  She poured a cup of tea, added three lumps of sugar and handed it to Severus.

He took the cup, bowing his head in thanks.  “Please, we haven’t spoken in three years.  What do you want?”

Lily took another sip of her drink before answering.  “I want to know why you did it.”

“Why I did what?”

“Why you decided to help Dumbledore.  He told me that you were the Death Eater that originally told Voldemort about that damned prophecy in the first place.  Why choose to help him a few months later?”

“I don’t know,” Severus mumbled into his chest.

He felt like a little kid being scolded by their mother; or at least he assumed that is what it felt like.  His mother had rarely disciplined him, or done anything for him really.  As for his father, well, Tobias, had always preferred actions to words.

“Don’t lie to me, Severus.  We may not have spoken in three years, but I can still read you like a book,” Lily snapped.

Severus snorted.  “If you know me so well, why must you ask?”

“Maybe I want to hear it from your own lips.  Come on, Severus, why’d you choose to help?”

When no answer came she continued.  “It obviously wasn’t for James.  It does not make sense that it would be Harry either…. You did it for me, didn’t you?  Why would you do that for me?”

“You should know.  You already seem to know the answers to all the other questions,” Severus grumbled darkly. 

“But I don’t, Sev.  Why would you do that?”

“Because,” he cleared his throat, “because I never stopped caring for you.  Not after you stopped speaking to me, or thinking of me as a friend, even after you married Potter and had his child.”  There was some deep-seated emotion or emotions in that statement Lily could not place: regret, jealousy, hope maybe.

“Sev is that true?  Is that really true?” Lily asked, her eyes suddenly becoming moist.

 “Of course it’s true.  What do I have to gain from speaking falsehoods,” Severus said, his voice rough.

There was an awkward silence before Severus spoke once more.

“Perhaps you should leave.  It’s getting late.” But the offer was only half-hearted.

Lily shook her head, a bit of hair falling into her eyes, “Only after you tell me one more thing.”

Severus raised an eyebrow, “What would that be?”

“Did you do it to try  to win me back?  I know you could have cared less if James died, probably Harry as well.  So why do something that would save their lives?”

Severus did not hesitate to answer.  “I didn’t want to see you hurt.  If James and the child were protected in the process, so be it.  I just wanted to see you safe.  However, I had no intentions of ‘trying to win you back’.  In fact, I had planned to never tell anyone what I had done.  I thought I had asked the Headmaster to do the same,” Severus explained.

Lily did not know what to say to that.  She had not asked Dumbledore many questions before they went into hiding and even fewer since James’ death.  Instead, Dumbledore had offered the information of Severus, or rather that of the young Death Eater.  It was only after the attack that Dumbledore had given her all of the information, including Severus’ identity.

Lily rose from her seat not sure what else there was to say.  “Thank you for your hospitality and honesty, Sev. I should probably be going; Harry’s probably awake by now.  I’ll talk to you later.”