The next morning, after breakfast, Persephone delivered a letter to Severus from the Mind Healer and Counselor Susan Keegan.  In it, Susan had written that she would happily take on a new patient, and thanked Severus for referring the girl to her.

. . .It sounds as though she has an inferiority complex second to none, which isn't surprising considering the warm welcome Squibs have received by wizards here in Britain.  You know it's a bit different back in the States, Sev, and I'll need to schedule sessions with her at least two days a week.  Sounds as if her father really played havoc with her self-esteem as well, from what you've told me. 

I'll do my best, though it may take some time for her to open up to me, even though I'm an empath.  Still, you mentioned she's a seer? Seers have always gotten on well with empaths, mostly because we're kind of shunned too by polite society.  Too many people think all empaths do is eavesdrop on people's emotions and pry into their heads.  Humph! As if I'd ever want to do that to half the selfish aristocratic blue-bloods! They can keep their dirty sordid little secrets, I don't want to know ‘em.  Of course, anything spoken about in my sessions with little Holly will remain confidential, as part of the Mind Healer Privacy Act.  However, you can help her increase her self-esteem by being there for her and giving her reassurance that you will remain there for her.

Kids that have been abandoned like she was tend to fear their authority figures repeating the same mistake and are often frightened and insecure regarding the future and their place in a family.  But I know you, Sev, and all you need to do is relax that reserve you maintain and let her see your true feelings and she will be content. We'll work on it together and hopefully we can help her regain her sense of self.  Tell Harry I said hi, he must be taller than I am now. 

Angels watch over you, my friend.

 

Susan Keegan, EHC (Empathic Healer Counselor)

Severus had to smile at Susan's refreshing honesty.  Good old Susan! I think she and Holly will get on very well, especially because Susan is the last witch to ever display prejudice towards a Squib, since she's a Muggleborn and married to a Muggle besides. Plus, she was also an American, and they were not known for their tolerance of aristocratic pretensions, they had fought their own version of the Muggle American Revolution to free themselves of the dictates of the Wizengamut way back in the 1760's, maintaining that certain decrees, such as not being allowed to marry Muggles, were ridiculous, as was the one that wizards should not be taught wandless magic until they were school age, and that shamans were considered inferior to European wizards.  There had been a thriving shamanistic practice in the Americas long before the European wizards had settled there, and the colonial wizards saw no reason why it should not continue.  The Wizengamut called them upstarts and refused to listen and in the end, the American warlocks and mages, as they preferred to be called, broke with their British counterparts.

Silver crunched on a large beef bone, lying in the corner beside the hearth, and Severus glanced at the big carnivore fondly.  You'd fit right in over there, old friend.  There they have Animagi around every corner, their Animagi count is triple what ours is, since most shamans generally claim a Animagus form when they receive their totem spirit animal. You'd have plenty of other wolves to run with too.

He often wondered if Remus missed the company of another wolf, even an ordinary one.  It had to be lonely, being the only true wolf left in Britain.  But Remus seemed content with his lot, as it was so much better than what he had endured as werewolf.

Severus carefully set Susan's letter down and decided that now was as good a time as any to have that little talk with Holly. The Healer was correct, the child did need constant reassurance, and he knew he would have to tread carefully and be gentler than was his wont.  He could get away with being reserved and strict with his students for the most part and his son sometimes, for Harry knew his bark was worse than his bite, but Holly would crumble if he ever gave her a taste of his snarky sarcastic tongue.  Not that he would consider doing so.  He was not quite the insensitive bastard he appeared. 

The Potions Master rose and walked into the kitchen, where Holly and Harry were washing and drying the breakfast dishes, and said softly, "Holly, I'd like a word with you when you're finished here.  Please come to my study."

She jerked up like a startled deer, her sapphire eyes fearful.  "Did I do something wrong, sir?"

"No, but I have something I'd like to discuss with you in private."

"Oh.  Okay, sir." Then she turned back to industriously drying the plates.

Severus retreated to his study, giving the kids time to finish their chore, though he couldn't help but overhear Holly say nervously to Harry, "Is he mad at me, Harry?"

"Huh? No.  Believe me, you'd know if he was.  He'd use your last name then, and get all cold and stern.  But you didn't do anything to make him mad, so what are you worrying for?"

"I . . .thought maybe he didn't like the way I wrote my essay or something.  I never had to write one as a punishment before."

Harry chuckled.  "If you're going to stay here, best get used to that.  Dad loves assigning punishment essays, he claims they make you really think about what you did wrong and how to avoid making the same mistake next time."

"Is he right?"

"Well . . .yeah.  Except I tend to forget sometimes," admitted Harry.  "Then he lectures me and grounds me on top of it. Quit worrying. He'd never beat you or anything.  My guess is he wants to talk to you about staying on here or something like that.  Trust me, he won't bite you."

She gave him a small smile.  "If you say so." She sincerely hoped he was right and Severus wanted to discuss her staying with them and not the opposite.

She entered his study quietly, trepidation written all over her face.  Severus looked up from his stack of papers and said, "Please, have a seat," he gestured to a sturdy upholstered chair in front of his mahogany roll top. 

Holly sat, fighting to keep from biting her nails, a nervous habit she had never managed to rid herself of, much to her father's disgust. 

"Now then, first I would like to talk with you about your essay, child."

"My essay? Was it . . .horrible?" she asked, her heart plummeting to her shoes. "I could do it over."

"No, that's not necessary.  What I wanted to talk to you about is your belief that I would send you away if you misbehaved." Severus said, and then he leaned forward and looked her right in the eye.  "Holly, I know that sort of behavior is what you have come to expect from wizards . . .male wizards in general, because of Lucius.  But I am not Lucius.  And I promise you that you could never do anything so bad that would make me abandon you or send you away.  I meant what I told that shopkeeper yesterday.  You are my responsibility now, child.  I saved your life and that creates a kind of debt between us, a bond, if you will.  And you need never fear that I will ever cast you out into the cold and dark like the man who sired you."

"Not even if I annoy you past bearing? Or people talk about you behind your back for allowing me to stay in your home?"

"Not even then.  I've never been one to let gossip get the better of me, and I don't let fools dictate to me what I can and can't do with my life.  I wish that I could officially adopt you, but that will have to wait."

"Because of my father."

"Yes.  Once I have dealt with him-and rest assured he will be dealt with-then I can file papers to officially make you my daughter, if you want.  Would you like that, Holly?"

She considered for a long moment.  It was like a wonderful dream, to belong somewhere again, and to have a real family.  "Yes, sir." Severus raised an eyebrow. "I mean . . .Severus.  It would be . . .I can't believe you'd want me . . .I don't deserve this . . ."

"Now that's where you're wrong, Holly.  You certainly do deserve to be happy and have a family like every other child your age.  And there is no reason why I wouldn't want you, little one."

"My dad didn't."

"He is an ass and I am nothing like him.  You will always be welcome here, Holly Sinclair.  Never doubt that." Severus reassured.

"Thank you, sir!" she cried, sniffling.

Severus conjured a handkerchief and murmured, "Dry your eyes, little one.  And what is my name?"

"Severus."

"Good." He gave her a smile.  "On to the next thing I wished to talk about.  I have been speaking to a very good friend of mine, her name is Susan Keegan, and she is similar to a Muggle psychiatrist, except much more intuitive and compassionate.  I think it would be good for you to have a few sessions with her.  She could help you overcome your fear of being abandoned and your belief that you are nothing save a worthless Squib who doesn't deserve to be happy.  I know that Lucius did that to you by his refusal to acknowledge you as his daughter, it was cruel and selfish, and he ought to be strung up and flayed for doing it." His hands clenched on his desk and he forced himself to relax.  "Be that as it may, I have asked her if she would be willing to counsel you and she agreed.  Now I wish to know if you agree."

Holly hesitated.  She didn't know if she was ready to reveal her innermost thoughts to a stranger.  But then she recalled her wish that someone understand her.  Perhaps Severus was right, and this Healer could provide her with her lost self-confidence again and the understanding she craved. 

"Would the sessions be private?"

"Yes.  Healer Keegan maintains strict confidentiality, she would never discuss what you tell her with anyone, not even me.  Empaths are fanatical about personal privacy.  If it will help, I underwent counseling with her myself, after my days as a spy were done with.  She is very good at helping you with repressed emotions and healing old wounds.  I trust her the way I do almost no one else."

Holly nodded.  He knew she was broken inside, and it would be a miracle if she could ever be whole again.  But she wanted to be whole, and this was the best opportunity.  "I'll see her, then.  It can't hurt, right?"

"No, only help." Severus said.  "Now that's settled, I can arrange a time and a schedule for her to come this week.  After this week, I'll be returning to Hogwarts for the start of the spring term, and both you and Harry will be coming with me."

"We will?  I always wanted to see Hogwarts!" Holly said longingly.

"And so you shall." Severus chuckled.  "And now, I think you owe me a few hours of work in my lab, miss." He rose to his feet.  "Come with me, and I'll show you what you'll be peeling and scrubbing."

Holly followed him obediently, without protest.  On the way she passed Harry, who was heading to his room to study for a math quiz.  He gave her a thumbs up sign and grinned at her.  See? Told you you'd be all right, he seemed to say without words, and the unwanted Malfoy daughter smiled back at him, and in her eyes was a sparkle that had been absent  for far too long.

Severus glanced down at her and said, "I wasn't aware my punishments were cause for smiling, young lady."

"Umm . . .no, I'm not smiling because of that.  I'm just . . .happy . . .for some reason."

Severus merely arched an eyebrow and said nothing, though in truth he was glad that Holly could find something to smile about. 

Then they entered his lab, and Severus showed her how to scrub several piles of mallow roots and then took her to the sink, which was filled with dirty beakers, jars, and vials. 

He summoned an apron for her to wear, then said briskly, "Get a move on, child.  Soonest begun is soonest done."

Holly hid a grin at the saying, then rolled up her sleeves and got started.

* * * * * *

Once he was satisfied that the girl was doing as she ought, the Potions Master left her alone and went to speak to Harry, who was studying for his math quiz, about having meditation sessions.  "I think it would benefit you greatly to learn how to calm and focus your mind and help you learn to control your impulsiveness and your temper, Harry.  These techniques helped me as well, for self-discipline is the key to managing a powerful magical gift."

Harry listened intently, then nodded.  "I understand, Dad.  When can we start them?"

"After your quiz, I can go over the basics with you, specifically how to breathe and relax yourself." Severus said.  "A good hour should be sufficient to introduce you to the way meditation works and then I think my friend Healer Susan, you remember her from last year, right, will be arriving to speak with Holly."

"She's gonna counsel Holly?"

"Yes.  Holly has been abused emotionally by her father and I think it best if she receives professional help." Severus told him. 

"And Healer Keegan's a wonderful Mind Healer, she helped you with your nightmares," Harry recalled, for last year Severus had suffered terrible flashbacks and nightmares from his time as a spy, witnessing the atrocities committed by Voldemort's inner circle.  They had grown so bad that he could not sleep without resorting to a Dreamless Sleep potion night after night, and since such potions were addictive if taken too frequently, he had decided to seek out a Mind Healer. Thirty-two-year-old Susan Keegan had been recommended as the best in her field and so he had arranged sessions with her and not only found a great therapist, but also a friend.

Harry had been aware of the nightmares, it was impossible to hide them when he could hear Severus screaming loud enough to wake the dead on more than one occasion, and simply telling Harry he was fine had not satisfied his son, who insisted on knowing what was really the matter. Reluctantly, Severus had told him, and to his relief, Harry did not seem to think any less of him because of it. In fact, Harry had told him that he thought Severus was really brave to have lived through all of that without going bonkers.  Harry's appreciation had touched the other wizard deeply, for so long he had felt that no one appreciated the risks he took or the things he endured as Dumbledore's premiere secret agent. 

Out of the few he called friends, only Remus and Susan understood the depth of pain and suffering he had experienced, watching innocents being tortured and being helpless to prevent it for fear of blowing his cover.  It was one reason why he was happy to take in Malfoy's cast off child-for here was one innocent he could save, one life he could preserve from hatred and intolerance and death. 

"She did indeed," Severus agreed.  "And I think she can help Holly as well." Then he cleared his throat.  "However, it is now time for you and I to do some controlled breathing."

Harry looked puzzled.  "What's that?"

"It is when you breathe in and out, slowly, and count breaths. Like this." Severus explained.  "Breathe in through your nose, fill your lungs with air, and then exhale, slowly, through your mouth.  That's one breath.  Now, let's do it together.  Breathe in, and don't think about anything in particular, just listen to your breath moving through your lungs.  Now exhale.  Slowly . . .Very good! That's two.  Now breathe in again . . ."

He had Harry go through the breathing exercises five times, breathing up to ten breaths, until the boy was totally relaxed and calm, almost sleepy.  Then he told him to close his eyes and imagine a peaceful place.  "Fix it in your mind, son, a place where you are safe and happy, and content."

Harry obeyed, finding that the winter cottage in Yorkshire near Wolf Wood kept popping up, and while he was there, so too was Silver, his father, and oddly enough, Holly as well.  Being here with my family is the best place to be, he thought and smiled. 

"Have you found a special place, Harry?" Severus asked after fifteen minutes.

"Yes."

"Good. Remember it, and when we resume lessons tomorrow, you can go to it and relax.  That special place is called your center, and you should be able to find it and go to it in your mind whenever you wish, even if you are upset.  One day I shall teach you to find it when you are under stress or in pain, but for now I simply want you to find it each time you begin breathing exercises.  How do you feel?"

"Uh . . .good.  I feel really relaxed and sleepy.  Is it supposed to be like that?"

"Yes.  Once you've learned how to breathe right, I can teach you how to take negative emotions, like fear or anger, and put them into a box in your mind, so you don't get overwhelmed with them and allow them to cloud your judgment."

"Oh. Okay, that sounds good." Then he asked, "Will you teach meditation to Holly too?"

"Not right away.  She has much in her past to overcome before she can learn proper techniques, and Susan wishes to work with her first." Severus said.  "These sessions will be between you and I for quite some time, son."

And Harry was content, for though he enjoyed having Holly around, he also liked spending time alone with just Severus sometimes.

Soon after they had halted their session, there came a knock on the door.  Silver looked up from his place upon the hearth and whuffed, but it was not a warning bark, but merely a friendly acknowledgement that someone was visiting.  Severus rose.  "That will be Susan." 

He opened the door to admit a medium-sized woman with dark chestnut hair and lively brown eyes.  "Hello, Sev.  It's been awhile, but you're looking good, professor."

"You too, Sue." He smiled at her, and she grinned back and embraced him.

She was dressed in a rather conservative navy knit skirt and matching top, her cloak was soft powder blue with a hood lined with swansdown. Her shoes were softest leather that made no sound when she entered the house.  "Well, the house hasn't changed much that I can see," she remarked looking around. 

They entered the den and Harry rose and greeted the Healer.  "Hi, Healer Sue."

"Harry! Goodness, you're almost as tall as me now!" she laughed.  "What's your dad been feeding you-Growth Serum?"

Harry laughed.  "Nope, he's just been force-feeding me green vegetables." He made a face. "Like lima beans and spinach."

"Poor kid.  Well, you can have some of these, they'll cheer you up." From one of her cloak pockets she produced a plate of homemade chocolate chip and nut cookies.

Harry's eyes lit up, for the Healer was also a superb baker.  "Oh, awesome! Thanks, Healer Sue." He took the plate reverently.

"You spoil him, Susan." Severus said, pretending to sound annoyed.

The Healer smirked.  "Well, someone has to, oh strict father."

"Yeah, Dad."

"Hush, Little Mischief.  Take your treat and go have a snack.  But mind you save some for me and Holly."

"All right." He spun about and practically Apparated into the kitchen.  Susan's chocolate chips were a real treat and he would savor each bite. 

"Typical boy," Susan said fondly.  Then she knelt to say hello to Silver, who gave her a wolfish grin and nuzzled her hand.  "Well, wolf Prince, how are you doing?"

Silver gave a soft whine, indicating he was well.  Susan knew most of the story about Remus and was under wizard oath to keep Remus's true identity a secret. 

"Good.  I may need your services during some of my sessions with Holly." The Mind Healer said.  "Would that be all right with you?"

Silver nodded and then returned to his bone.

"Speaking of which, where is my newest patient, Sev?"

"In my lab, scrubbing some beakers."

Susan cocked an eyebrow at him.  "Punishment chores already, Sev?"

"She got into a brawl with some other wizarding children at Diagon Alley yesterday." Severus began, sounding a  bit defensive.  "I had to punish her and Harry too.  The both of them are grounded for a week."

"I'm not criticizing you, Sev.  I'm not a parent.  Not yet, anyway." She smiled softly.

Severus blinked.  "Are you expecting, Sue?"

"I think yes. I've been feeling sort of sleepy and radiant at the same time, and that's how empaths get at the beginning of pregnancy.  I have an appointment with Healer Avery in two days and then he can confirm it."

"Congratulations. Does Billy know?"

The empath nodded happily.  "Yes, and he's thrilled.  We have waited so long." She shot Severus a mischievous look.  "Now we can compare toddler and infant horror stories and stuff, Sev."

"Oh joy. I was hoping to forget some of those."

"Sure you were," she winked at him knowingly.  "Well, let's meet your newest family member, Sev."

Severus opened the door to his lab and found Holly drying her hands, she had finished all the work he had assigned her.  "Holly, come here.  There's someone I would like you to meet."

Holly came and shook hands with Susan, smiling at her a little nervously.  "How do you do, ma'am?"

"Very well, and just call me Susan, or Healer  Sue if you insist, like my old friend here did at first, on being formal.  Sev, may we borrow your study?"

"Yes, of course." He gestured down the hall, and Susan walked over to the door and opened it.

Holly followed, and sat down in the same chair she had occupied before. 

Susan sat next to her, not behind the desk as expected.  Her brown eyes were warm and friendly, and Holly found herself liking the woman's expression and attitude.  Clearly she was not a witch who held to the old prejudices concerning Squibs.  Well, of course not, Severus would have never hired her else.  But I wonder, can she really help me? Ever since Dad threw me out, I feel all empty and cold inside, like a frozen icicle.  Only when Harry is near me or Severus holds me do I feel a little warm.  "Can you really read minds?" she blurted out, before she could think better of it.

"No.  I'm an empath, which means I can read emotional states and sometimes project emotions as well," Susan said candidly.  "It helps me understand what you're feeling so much better, Holly.  But . . .I'm not going to be reading you at all for these first few sessions.  That's only when I've gotten to know you better.  I think we should have sessions twice a week for now and perhaps three times a little later, if all goes well.  First, let me tell you a little about me.  I'm a Mind Healer, as you know, and I'm an American, originally from New Jersey.  My husband Bill is a Muggle and I myself am a Muggleborn witch, not a big deal in the States, but I've raised a few eyebrows here . . ."

Holly listened to Susan tell her about what she did and how she had healed many other wizards from various emotional and physical abuse, including Severus.  Gradually, she began to relax, the little Healer's voice was very soothing.  And her being a Muggleborn was a plus, because she could relate to Holly, having experienced prejudice of her own, no doubt.

Healer Keegan talked for ten minutes, allowing her patient to relax before she said, "Now, would you like to tell me about yourself, Holly? We'll start with something easy.  How old are you and when is your birthday?"

"I'm nine and my birthday's December 25th. I was a Christmas present, my mum used to say, and that's why she named me Holly."

"And I'll bet that was the best Christmas present ever," said Susan.  "How about your dad?"

"He thought so too, until . . .he found out I had no magic," Holly said lowering her eyes.

"Ah.  He's a pureblood, I take it?"

"Yes.  He comes from an old family, the Malfoys. And he thinks . . .he thinks I'm worthless."

Susan remained calm, not reacting to the statement.  "But not your mother," she said, feeling the shame and guilt emanating from the child even through her shields.

"No.  Mum always loved me, no matter what." Holly admitted, tearing up a little.

"Tell me about your mother.  What was her name? Was she pretty? Was she a witch too?"

Little by little, Holly revealed her past, allowing the therapist to get a clear picture of her life before she had become the "snow girl" the papers labeled her.  Once she had been loved and cherished, once she had been the daughter of a prominent official, a secret daughter, but one that he had acknowledged as his own.  Until he discovered his perfect princess was a flawed mortal, something which was not permitted in Lucius Malfoy's world.  An unforgivable sin, in his eyes. 

By the time Holly had finished telling Susan about her former family and home, it was past three and the little girl was tired and hungry and badly wanted a shoulder to cry on, for speaking about Valina made her grief resurface. 

Sensing this, Susan called Silver into the room.  "You know, Holly, sometimes it helps to hug someone during these times.  Sometimes the best medicine is a good listener, and Silver is the best listener of all.  You can tell him anything-anything at all, and he will listen and never betray your secrets."

"I can?"

"Oh, yes.  And he makes a wonderful pillow." She gestured and Silver came to lay his great head on Holly's knee.

At first, Holly just gaped at the big wolf, for he had never done anything like that before.  Then she placed a hand on his head, and stroked him.  He felt so soft and so warm that she couldn't resist hugging him.

Silver crooned low in his throat and licked her face.

All at once she felt a dam burst within her and she was crying, hot tears running down her face and into Silver's thick fur. 

"There now, sweetling.  That's good, let yourself grieve," the Healer murmured, putting a hand gently on the girl's back and rubbing very gently. 

Silver remained steady as a rock, allowing the girl to hold him and gain a measure of comfort, for it was clear that she badly needed it.

Severus was in the den, reading a potions magazine, when he heard the soft sound of a child weeping.  He sat up, then reminded himself that Susan knew what she was doing, and relaxed.  Harry, who had been reading as well, a Muggle story called The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, glanced up from his book and said, "Dad, why is Holly crying?"

"Probably because she is reliving something unhappy or discussing something that upsets her."

"But Dad, I thought Healer Sue was supposed to make her feel better."

"She will, but sometimes, son, you need to remember what upsets you before you can move on and learn to be happy again.  Don't worry, Harry.  Susan would never hurt Holly, she knows what she's doing.  Sometimes tears must come first before you can heal an old wound."

Something about the way the Potions Master said that made Harry think that he too had experienced what Holly had, and he nodded.  "Okay, Dad.  You'd know, wouldn't you?"

"Yes.  Holly has a long road ahead of her, but with our help, she will recover." Then he resumed perusing his periodical, content to leave the child in the most capable hands he knew, the Mind Healer who had saved him from blackest despair.

Harry sighed and turned back to reading about Aslan, Lucy, and their battle with the White Witch, though he kept an ear tuned, but Holly soon stopped weeping and he allowed himself to return to Narnia, trusting that all would work out in the end.