The return to consciousness was slow, almost happening in stages. Even when Harry could open his eyes, he couldn’t quite make sense of what he was seeing, nor could he hear what was going on around him. His entire skin was tingling as if he’d just had an allergic reaction, or like he’d jumped into a hot bath after being really cold.

With that thought, memories began to seep back in. The Lake had been freezing, literally, but even knowing that theoretically hadn’t prepared him for the way his bones would ache upon entering the water. Why had he been out on the Lake? The answer eluded him for the moment and he slowly slipped back into unconsciousness.

oooOOOooo

Severus’s awakening, for his part, was decidedly more sudden. He snapped straight from a deep sleep into consciousness, an unknown panic tightening his gut. His left arm tightened instinctively around the warm bundle lying beside him as his eyes darted around the Infirmary. Frowning, he forced his mind to focus despite what he recognised as the residual effects of a sleeping draught affecting it. What was he so afraid of? Why was he in the Hospital Wing?

He glanced down his left side and huffed out a shocked breath. Harry. Of course. The memories of the previous night caught up with him and sent a convulsive shiver down his spine. His son. His son. He had almost lost him without even realising again. If he hadn’t woken, restless, in the middle of the night, he might well have been woken by a weeping Minerva to tell him…

The shivers came back, accompanied by a feeling of nausea. He tried, desperately, to get angry at the stupid, stupid brat, but the fear kept getting in the way. He’d almost lost him; another few seconds and he would have lost him. This same thought kept rattling around in his head, making it near impossible to breathe, impossible to think of anything else.

Instead, he turned his head and buried his nose in Harry’s hair. He’d never let the brat out of his sight again. He’d put toddler monitoring spells on him. He’d kill anyone who even so much as looked at him funny. Anything, anything to stop him from losing this boy the way he’d lost Lily. He knew, with a chill certainty, that that would be one death he would not survive.

oooOOOooo

Harry swallowed to ease his rough throat when he finally surfaced properly, and buried his face more securely into the warm wall to his right. His ears ached, his nose ached and his chest ached, but there was a regular, soothing beat right next to his ear, almost making him want to drop off again. However, his curiosity was getting the better of him.

He squinted his eyes open and they abruptly snapped wide once he realised he was leaning against a person. Nothing he remembered could place him in this position. The last thing he remembered properly was Shadow…

Harry jerked and tried to scramble upright. Shadow – Shadow was alive. Harry was certain of it. Shadow was alive and Harry had almost found him. If only he could find a way to reach his brother. There was a way now, he was certain. Being that close meant Shadow had to be coming back.

A strong arm pinned him down to the bed and even more firmly against the person next to him. The arm had a stronger grip than anything his friends could manage, but who else…?

Oh.

Harry glanced up to meet his father’s eyes. They looked torn between being murderously angry and… tears? Harry gulped and raised his head to meet that gaze properly. Whatever happened next would be exactly what he deserved.

oooOOOooo

Madam Pomfrey bustled over the moment Harry’s eyes blinked open properly. She must have had a monitoring charm in place to check on the progress of her patients. Harry didn’t bother glancing over at her, simply meeting Severus’ gaze and gnawing his bottom lip, rightfully anxious.

The boy certainly had every reason to be nervous, yet Severus simply couldn’t seem to find the words to express what he wanted.

“Vitals are good for both of you. And your core body temperature is now within normal ranges, but your skin temperature is still a little lower than I would have liked, young man. I’ve cast another warming spell, so you should start to shiver in a little while, but that will be a good sign. Just stay where you are, Severus, your son will be fine.” Pomfrey’s speech seemed to address both of them.

“Poppy,” he says quietly, finally finding his voice. “Would you leave us for a moment.” It wasn’t a question.

She took a step back, the consummate professional. “I’ll be in my office. Call the moment you need something. You’ve both been very lucky to escape severe hypothermia.” She set down four potions Severus easily recognised on the bedside table and left.

Silence followed in her wake and Harry began to shiver. Severus hitched his son closer and adjusted the blanket. Words had fled again. Sighing, he made eye contact with an increasingly upset Harry.

It was quiet for a little while longer. Then, “I’m sorry.” Harry’s voice croaked like he’d swallowed half the Lake. Though, all in all, that was not an implausible scenario.

“Why?” Ah, there was his voice again. If only he could have managed to make it louder than Harry’s croak. A feeling of desperation had seized him by the throat. He needed to know. He needed to understand, so he could stop this from ever happening again. His other emotions would follow later, but all he could dredge up at the moment was an impotent panic mixed with numbness.

Harry’s eyes dropped, but then slowly met Severus’ again. He too seemed to have lost his voice.

Severus breathed a deeply, which seemed to knock his words free at last, low, broken things that they were. “Harry, I need to know why you’ve willingly put yourself in danger. I need you to tell me Exactly. What. Happened. So I can help. I need you not to lie to me, my b–” Great, now he was accidently slipping into Albus’ speech patterns. Lord knows, he’d heard those words come out of the older wizard’s mouth enough times. “Explain this to me, Harry. Please. Because I just can’t comprehend why you’d do this,” The silent to me was left unsaid. Severus hoped Harry hadn’t heard it, “without some extraordinary happening to explain it.”

And that was a new feeling; praying that the boy would come out with one of his mad-cap explanations instead of something which could be explained away by neat phrases such as depression or suicide.

Harry choked on what could almost be a sob. “I didn’t mean to. I promise. I really, really didn’t mean to.”

“Were you forced to do this? Did someone else force you?” His voice was still a low, unfamiliar thing.

“No!” Harry’s voice was vehement, both a relief and a curse to Severus. On one hand, at least someone hadn’t tried to kill his son twice in one day, on the other… well, who knew? “I– I… It was my own fault. I was so stupid but I didn’t mean to be. I didn’t think.”

“You didn’t think?!” Ah, there was the explosive anger and the furious tone he’d come to recognise as his own. He knew what to do with anger. He could just let go of his temper now and everything would be easy. But he couldn’t, he just couldn’t use it on Harry, not even when the boy had been so thoughtless and scared him so badly. The anger tasted corrosive on his tongue. He dropped his head back onto the pillow and glared at the ceiling, pulling Harry even closer with his left arm. But that wasn’t enough, so his right went around as well, then his nose went to his son’s hair and as soon as he caught that now-familiar smell, he shocked himself rigid as a sob clawed its way out of his throat.

Harry broke down a moment later, obviously scared by his parent’s loss of control. Severus just held him as tight as he dared and tried to weep silently until the violent emotion had loosened its grip a little. Not even after losing Lily had he felt so helpless.

Finally having himself a little more under control, he set to comforting Harry as best he could, who continued to cry like a little boy who’d been finally offered comfort after scared once too often.

Severus was grateful for years of practising voice control when he finally could speak again. “It’s over. It’s over now, Harry. Just tell me what happened. I’m listening. I promise I’m listening.” If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Severus had never properly understood that proverb until now. He thought back to the beginning of term, and his reaction to Harry’s recklessness, and winced.

Eventually Harry calmed as Severus muttered nonsense and just rested his head on his father’s chest and breathed for a little while. Severus found he didn’t mind the wait. He simply held on and prayed that for once in his life Harry would feel safe enough to share whatever burden he was carrying.

“You’re safe,” he murmured because he felt it needed saying and, feeling daring, pressed a kiss to Harry’s forehead. It was a manly kiss, of course. Why should anyone think otherwise?

This seemed to be the cue Harry had been waiting for. “Last night I woke up because someone was calling my name. I couldn’t work it out, but then I just knew it was– him. My brother. I know it was him. And then… then I followed his voice until I found him.” He fell silent, almost defying Severus to disagree.

“You found him? What do you mean?” he prompted instead, spent anxiety spiralling up again. If Harry was hallucinating, or worse, if Harry’s soul was still fractured, then there might be something so wrong with his son that he alone would be unable to fix it. Severus voiced none of this. Another possibility might be that someone was using magic against the boy to trick him into mixing reality and fantasy. There was more than one spell which echoed the effects of Mirror of Erised.

Now seemingly oblivious to Severus’ anxiety, Harry propped himself up a bit and stared very seriously into Severus’ eyes. “I saw him. I spoke to him… almost. I could hear him and he could hear me. And… I’ve been getting this feeling all year that he’s nearby and it’s just getting stronger. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m not, I swear. I really believe he’s out there.”

The conviction shook Severus. If Harry was telling the truth and if he, against all odds, was right, then… Severus refused to contemplate further. He didn’t know what that would mean exactly; for him or for Harry. There was so much in this situation that he didn’t know about. He needed Albus, or someone, to tell him what to do, what was best for Harry.

But, as was the norm in his life, there was only himself he could rely on in this moment and he prayed that this time he would make the right choices.

“Harry, look me in the eye and listen to me. I need you to promise me that you will never go searching for Shadow on your own again. Shh!” he exclaimed as the boy tried to interrupt. “You listen to me first and then I’ll listen to you. We have no way of knowing why he’s appearing to you or why this feeling’s getting stronger…”

“It’s because we’re connected! We’re twins!” Harry burst out, seemingly unable to contain himself.

“Or,” Severus continued as he decided to let the interruption go, “it’s someone taking advantage of your obvious weak spot and using it to put you in danger. You almost died.” He refused to accept that his voice cracked on that word. “If I hadn’t got there in time, or if a hundred other things hadn’t put luck on our side, you would have died last night. I know it seemed logical at the time, but thinking back, Harry, can you honestly tell me that the decision you made was in your best interests?”

Harry looked down. Severus got the impression that if the boy had been standing, he might have scuffed his shoes together. “No, of course not.”

“Well, then. You’re not emotionally clear when it comes to Shadow. You know that. I know that. Someone could easily trick you without much effort because of this; they might well have done already.”

Harry looked indignant. “They didn’t. He helped me yesterday for a start and besides, who besides you, Dumbledore and my friends know about Shadow?”

Severus breathed heavily through his nose and lay back again, his neck muscles feeling fatigued beyond support. “Magic can be used in devious ways. There are spells which can allow someone to look into another’s mind without their knowledge. Or maybe someone overheard you telling your friends about it. You need to be aware of the possibilities so you can make a rational decision about it.”

Harry heaved a sigh of his own; it was oddly shaky even through the shivering. “I don’t want to be rational. I just want him back.”

“I know.” Severus’ hand soothed its way up and down Harry’s back. “I know. Maybe you will and maybe you won’t, but you need to accept now that all you may ever get of him again are these flashes, Harry. Anything else would be a miracle. I would like nothing more to reassure you but giving you false hope would do no good for either of us in the long run.”

There was a long silence, only punctuated by their breathing, then, “I won’t.”

Severus turned his head and regarded the top of Harry’s as the boy buried it into his side. “Hmm?”

“I won’t go looking for him on my own, I mean. I promise. And I’m sorry. But,” Harry lifted his head, “I still believe it’s him and he’s coming back, so I’ll just have to convince you too. I’ll come to you whenever I see or hear him, though, I promise. Maybe you’ll start believing me then.”

Severus let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Good boy. Who knows, maybe you’ll convince me.”

“Say his name.”

“What?” Severus found himself in the midst drifting off again. Damned Hospital Wing. Poppy must have bespelled him somehow.

“Say Shadow’s name. He’s your son too.”

Severus sighed and blinked his eyes open again. Well, why not? “Shadow.” The word sounded strange on his tongue. “Harry and Shadow. How would I cope with two suicidal brats to bring up?” Ah, there was his sarcasm. He’d been wondering where that had gone to. “But then, you’re my suicidal brat, so I suppose it wouldn’t be too bad. Now, drink your potions and go to sleep.” Merlin, he really was drugged. What had that witch done to him?

He stole one last look at the sleepy boy after he’d drunk his potions and closed his eyes. He’d need talk to Albus about this, but not now… later.

oooOOOooo

Harry closed his eyes and relaxed, feeling safe. He’d probably be extremely embarrassed by all this cuddling later, but it had been terrifying when he’d fallen through the ice and he found he didn’t quite want to give up the comfort of having his father so close just yet.

At least, this time, they’d seemed to have weathered the storm quite well. Oh, Harry knew there’d still be punishment and disappointment to come, but right now, all that mattered was the knowledge that he had a real family; to have someone who cared if he lived or died. And, yes, it would be better if Shadow and his Mum were with them, but this was still pretty near to everything that Harry had always wanted.

He fell asleep with a smile on his face.