"Do you like the twilight?" Harry changed the topic because he felt that Severus did not like to talk about Sirius.

"Have you lost yourself in it?" Severus asked, curious.

"Yes, it was good that Albus was around."

"Oh, it's Albus now?"

Harry groaned. "Has Poppy given you something?"

"Yes, she did. I fear she was worried about how I've been treating you lately."

"I was also worried," Harry whispered.

There was a long silence in the room until Severus said, "I do not want to live as a cripple, Harry. You gave me a reason to live after the war, but I am not sure what a price I am willing to pay for it." He paused. "Do not rush things during the training. Poppy will release me from bed rest in two days. Then we can go on with the spell training. Just train in the twilight with Albus and then concentrate on the Animagus training." Before Harry could say something, Severus left the room.

~*~

The next day, Harry felt as if he had not slept at all. The heavy feeling of guilt was gone, but he feared Poppy was right. He should have rested after taking the potion. Now he had the feeling he could not make up the lost rest. At breakfast, he managed to put up his mask and was happy that Poppy did not take another test. As a result, he was able to go to Albus for their next training session. He told the man about what Severus had said and Albus agreed. Harry easily managed to go into the twilight this time and was surprised. The problem was that he needed Albus' help again to get him out of it.

"It's normal, Harry," Albus said. "Some people say it's like going back into the womb of your mother. You feel so safe and don't want to leave. People that always wished for a place to feel loved and safe will have more problems leaving, but I am confident that you will manage after a few more sessions. You are very good, Harry." Albus laid a hand of Harry's shoulder.

"Thank you, but I feel weak by not being able to leave on my own."

"Severus also had problems during the first attempts, Harry. It's human."

"I spurt a few hairs while trying to transform the first time. They were dark gray. I can't wait to see what my Animagus form will be." Every time he thought about, it made his heart jump.

"It's always good to see you smile, Harry. You are too serious lately. I'm glad you enjoy the Animagus training, and I'm sad that I cannot help you with it. Maybe you inherited a natural ability from you father."

"I hoped to become a stag, too, but I liked the gray fur as well."

"You are different from your father. He was always a bit of a poser. No offense," Albus said.

"No offense taken. I saw some of my father during the Occlumency training. He was horrible sometimes. I'm still proud of him, but I don't want to be exactly like him."

"I'm sure you will love your Animagus form. It will reflect your inner feelings and wishes. Your father always wanted to be big and strong, and so he became a stag. Your godfather was always light-hearted and playful, and the dog reflected that perfectly."

"Severus said it doesn't have to do with my life or feelings," Harry said, confused.

"I think he told you that so you would not worry. He feared you would become something you do not like. I'm not sure, but if I know him, and I do, this could be possible."

"I will train this afternoon," Harry said and headed for the door.

"Don't forget to rest, Harry," Albus said warningly.

"Of course, "Harry replied without meaning it.

After lunch he slept for an hour because Poppy was eying him criticality. He did not felt at all rested after his nap, but nevertheless grabbed the Animagus book and tried the next step. After one hour, his whole left hand was changed. It was an enormous paw, bigger than one of a dog and even bigger than a wolf's one. Almost like a bear, but with the features of a wolf's paw. The craziest thing was the midnight black claws he could show. They were sharp like needles, and he could see his reflection in them. Harry's heart beat like hell. He would be a very big and dangerous animal, and he loved this feeling.

Too bad that at the moment he was nothing like his Animagus form, and that would be revealed at supper in front of everyone.

They were eating peacefully when Harry felt the first sign of the upcoming disaster. He felt dizzy and had to look a few time at one spot to not throw up. He tried to finish his meal quickly to excuse himself, but it was unsuccessful. Half of his food was still on his plate when he felt the room spin violently. Grabbing the table edge forcefully did not help, and he fell, head-first, onto the table. He did not feel any pain as the blackness overcame him.

_________

Harry groaned when he woke up. The first thing he realized was the IV that was in his arm. He grabbed for the needle but was stopped by a big hand. "Don't touch it, lad. Poppy will be here soon and you can argue with her about it. Not that I would give you any hopes for success. She is furious with you," Alastor said reproachfully. "At the moment, she is screaming at Albus for overtraining you."

Harry groaned again. Not from the pain in his head and arm, but from frustration. His training was on ice for who knows how long.

"I know that you are up to something and Albus is in on it. Surely the old fool is planning something with Severus to deceive us," Alastor said angrily.

Fantastic, now I have angered the two people that mean the world to me, Harry thought sadly. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry for not being able to tell you," Harry whispered.

"You can tell me everything, lad."

"No, not this. You are too concerned. You would stop me."

"Stop you from what? Merlin, talk to me, Harry. What are those fools doing with you?"

"Please, Alastor, I can't!" Harry felt horrible. He wished Alastor would take him in his strong arms as he had done a few time before. He always could forget everything in those moments. No Voldemort, no war, no fear, no training, just being safe. But now Alastor was angry and would never give him this safeness, maybe never again. Harry put the hand without the IV over his face to hide the tears.

Alastor sat down on the bed and pried the hand away from Harry's face. "What are they doing with you, Harry?" he asked in a small and very worried voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Harry whimpered. When he felt Alastor caress his cheek, he threw himself at the old man like he had several time before. In the safeness of this embrace, he confessed everything what was burning in his chest lately. When Poppy came in, Harry still was sobbing in Alastor's arms, but he had already finished his confession.

"What's wrong?" Poppy asked, worried.

"I will take care of this," Alastor said angrily.

Harry whimpered at his tone. He tried to claw himself tightly to Alastor to keep him there. "Please, I'm sorry. Don't be angry."

"I'm not angry with you. Severus will get a tongue lashing he won't forget easily, but Albus is another thing."

"What the hell is going on here, Alastor?"

Oh, fantastic, now Poppy is angry as well, Harry thought desperately.

"Don't worry, Poppy. I will tell you when I have taken care of Severus and Albus. Just check Harry. He will sleep in our bedroom for the next nights," Alastor said with a voice full of power and dominance. A voice Harry had not heard from him until now. This was a voice you did not speak back to if you did not have a death wish. Alastor managed to get out of Harry's grip and placed him back onto the cushions. "Don't ask him about it. I will tell you when I'm back. Move him into our bedroom." With that, he was out of the room.

Harry did not say anything while Poppy readjusted the IV and cast a diagnostic spell. He was glad she did not ask him anything. The talk with Alastor and the potions Poppy gave him made him very tired. He hardly registered that she levitated him into her bedroom. He dozed while Poppy got his bedclothes from his room and started to read to him. Sleeping would feel so good at the moment, but he could not fall asleep before Alastor was back. Harry did not know why. Maybe to see that he did not have any blood on his hands. He was very worried for Severus and felt guilty for telling their secret.

Twenty minutes later, the door was forcefully opened and Alastor guided a sullen looking Severus into the room. A flick of Alastor's wand and a second bed stood in the room. "Dare to argue with Poppy or me about sleeping here, and you will be in our bed. Don't believe I would have a problem with four sleeping in my bed." He shoved Severus not very gently into the new bed.

Poppy took a sharp breath. "Alastor, I need to speak with you."

"Not now!" Alastor said angrily. So that's the Auror everyone talks about, Harry thought anxiously.

"Right now!" Poppy shouted back.

The air in the room was icy. Severus quickly crawled under the bed covers and turned to face the wall. Harry still looked shocked at the scene in front of him. At the moment, Poppy was shoving Alastor out of the room. There was no sound to be heard from them. Surely, they have cast a Silencing Charm.

When Severus and Harry were alone, Harry whispered, "I'm sorry."

"You are sorry very often lately, Potter. And unfortunately, I'm always the one to suffer." Severus said bitterly.

"I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was one of the potions," Harry tried to explain.

"Or you just became pudding in Alastor's arms and told him everything," Severus said harshly.

What should Harry say now? He could not say anything because it was the truth. Guilt is my second name lately, he thought bitterly. I don't think I can fall asleep tonight. He almost jerked up when Severus spoke again. It was not a harsh voice. It was calm and conciliatory.

"I have lived with them long enough to know that it is impossible to keep something from him when you are in his arms. Just let us pretend to sleep when he comes back, Harry."

Harry sighed, relieved. A heavy weight was lifted from his chest by those words, and he finally drift into sleep.