Parlour, the Leaky Cauldron

"I was under the assumption that one Ms. Lily Evans had been made aware of my arrival in London. Yet what do I find? I see her sitting at a café table dining with my schoolyard rival and looking at me as if she was not aware I was on the same PLANET as her, much less the same continent!" Severus ranted. "I thought you said you had informed her that I would be here with my... her... our son. Additionally, William told me that you would be telling her!"

"I'm..." Alice started.

"And another thing:  Just an hour or two ago, while we were on the Strand, you reassured me that you had told her!" Severus added angrily. "You failed me big time, Alice Prewitt!"

"Longbottom," Alice corrected. At Severus' nod, she continued, "And I am sorry, Severus. Sometimes, it is necessary to stretch the truth. I do have a good reason for not telling her, though."

"It damn well better be good," Sev exclaimed. As Alice didn't immediately offer up her excuse, he scowled and said, "Well?!?"

"You mentioned the boys said that Lily might be under the effects of love potions and/or control spells?" Sev nodded. "Well, this morning, Lily came by rather early, presumably to pick up William. However, James was with her, and they asked Frank and me to round everyone up in the parlour, as they had an ‘announcement' to make. You can probably guess where I am going with this."

"Just tell me," Severus ground out.

"James proposed, and she accepted," Alice said in a rush. "I am sorry, Severus, but until we know for sure about everything, please don't do anything rash!"

Before Severus could answer, a Patronus in the shape of a doe glided into the room. In a gentle, feminine voice, it announced, "Petunia's house, 9am. Remember my last, Severus!"

Severus paled at the memory that simple sentence invoked. At Alice's questioning glance, he said, "The day we broke up, I told her I needed to get away from Britain, away from the memories of the war. Well, she didn't take that news so well. She cast a Bat-Bogey Hex on me so strong that it felt like winged rocks the size of Greater Whinging were crawling out of my nose and taking flight."

Alice flinched and said, "I'm assuming she means that she will repeat that incident if you're a no-show in the morning?"

"You know what they say about the word ‘assume', don't you? Anyhow, I am not taking a chance," Sev said.

~-~-~-~

At the same time, in Room 7

"So, Harry, how did you enjoy your time in Ohio?" William asked.

"It was... different. Dad and I spent quite a bit of time working on improving the Wolvesbane Potion and we may have found a cure," Harry said. "No one is willing to try it, though, so the world may never know."

At Dudley's giggles, Harry confusedly asked, "What?"

"You just sounded like that owl from the Tootsie Pop commercial," Dudley grinned.

Harry laughed as he realized what he had said, and William shook his head.

"I am so glad I don't have television at home," William said. "Commercials like that one are just so... so... stupid!"

"They're not stupid, they're funny!" Dudley protested. "Besides, I saw you laughing at some of them!"

"Alright already... William, how have you liked Britain?" Harry asked.

"It's scary," William said.

Dudley and Harry exchanged looks before chorusing, "How so?"

"Well, for one, y'all drive on the wrong side of the road. The food tastes funny and the tea is too strong. And I can't believe y'all invented English, but have managed to mangle it so bad that it isn't understandable!" Will ranted.

"We mangled English? No, my dear brother; it is Americans like you who have mangled English," Harry said.

"You call cookies biscuits, French Fries are chips and chips are crisps! And what is with this obsession about hell being full of blood?"*

"We spoke English before you, so you all mangled it," Harry said hotly.

At that time, Neville slipped into the room. Harry, Dudley and William looked over at him, making him ask, "What?"

"Where have you been?" Dudley grunted.

"Spying on Mum and Uncle Severus," he replied. "They have been arguing because William told Uncle Sev that Mum was going to tell Aunt Lily that Harry and Uncle Sev were coming, while Mum lied to Uncle Sev and told him that she told Aunt Lily, when she really didn't," Neville gossiped.

"Really?" Harry said. "Well, we're here now, so she'll find out soon enough anyway."

"She already knows somehow," Neville said. "She sent your dad a Patronus message, telling him to meet her tomorrow morning, 9am, at Aunt Petunia's house. Plus, I found out why they split up!"

"Why did they split up?" Dudley asked.

"According to Uncle Sev, he wanted to get away from ‘memories of the war', while Aunt Lily didn't want to leave Britain. She was so against the idea of moving that she popped Uncle Severus with a Bat-Bogey Hex pretty hard. By the way he described it, it sounds like it could be worse than any one Ginny has ever cast!"

Dudley, Neville, and Harry all shuddered at that thought, all three of them having been on the receiving end of Ginny Weasley's signature hex.

"Boys! Supper!" Tom the Innkeeper called out, knocking on the room's door.

"Thanks, Tom. Do you want us to go get Dad and Aunt Alice?" Harry asked.

"No need. They're already on their way down," Tom said. "Now wash up and go eat! The missus made some wonderful beef roast and vegetables. If you don't hurry, it'll be gone before you get there!"

"Aw-right! Mrs. Tom's roast!" Harry, Neville, and Dudley cried, rushing to wash their hands and get downstairs, trailed by William, who was wondering what was so special about a roast.

Tom grinned. He never failed to smile whenever he heard kids call his wife "Mrs. Tom", and he was glad they liked her cooking so much that they got this excited about it. He headed down to the kitchens to tell her about it.

~-~-~-~

Dursley Residence
Little Whinging, Surrey
09.00am

*Ding-dong* sounded the doorbell when Sev pressed the button by the door. Even though he had lived in a Muggle area for the last decade or so, devices such as the doorbell still fascinated him. As that thought occurred to him, he muttered, "I wish I had not spent so much damn time around Arthur Weasley, the Muggle-loving fool."

Just then, the door opened and his former sister-in-law peered out at him. "Severus! What a pleasant surprise! Won't you come in and visit?"

"Surely your sister told you I was coming," Severus said darkly, "as she... requested... I meet her here." He followed her into the parlour, where he took a seat near the door.

"No. She was out late with that Potter fellow again," Petunia said sourly. "There is something about him that I just don't like. I can't quite place my finger on it, though."

"In a nutshell, he is an ‘arrogant toe-rag'," Severus said. "Or at least, Lily used to call him that. When she decided to show up, or if she ever does, I will be checking to see if she is under the influence of any spells or potions."

"Makes sense," Petunia replied. "By the way, what brings you here?"

"I just told you that Lily told me to meet her here," snarled the scowling Snape sourly.

"I meant to Britain, you bitter, batty bachelor," Petunia said with a scowl of her own.

"Amateur," Sev said. "Your scowl couldn't even frighten a kitten. And if you must know, my sons decided to trick their mother and myself by switching placed on their way home from Quidditch camp. It seems that Lily and I picked the same Summer League for the boys. "

"The boys did WHAT?!?" a voice shouted from behind Severus.

Sev rose and turned around. He came face-to-face with his ex-wife. "Lily. How lovely to see you."

"Yeah, yeah. Save the pleasantries and tell me what you meant about Harry and William," Lily snapped.

"They switched places on us," Severus stated simply.

"Do you mean to tell me that for the last few weeks, I have been housing a virtual stranger?" Lily asked.

"He's your son, for Merlin's sake, not some random stranger!" Severus said angrily, "and he wouldn't even be a stranger to you, random or otherwise, if you hadn't decided to leave me ten years ago!"

"Me, leave you? As if! You were the one to desert his family! Running off to America just to ‘get away from the memories'," Lily yelled furiously.

"At lease I've not turned to someone I hated all my life, just to fill the void in my life!"

"Guys! Lower your voices! We don't want or need the bobbies getting called out here, do we?" Petunia called out.  The two lowered their voices and continued arguing.

"And what makes you think I have a ‘void in my life' that I am trying to fill by going out with James? Couldn't I just love him for who he is?" Lily said hotly.

"As a matter of fact, I believe not," Severus said. "Based upon information passed on to me by various sources who's names shall remain anonymous, I have reason to believe that you are under the influence of love potions and/or control spells."

Lily visibly flinched as if slapped. "James wouldn't do that," she told Severus before turning to Petunia and asking, "Would he, sis?"

"I don't understand a lot about magic, but I do find it odd that you went from hating even the mention of James Potter to wanted to get married to him," Petunia said honestly. "Would it hurt to allow Severus to check you for potions and spells?"

"I suppose not," Lily said. "Go ahead, Severus."

Severus drew his wand and waved a few complicated patterns as he chanted, "Specialus revelio... formulus revelio... revelio totalus..."

As he finished each spell, a piece of parchment appeared on the coffee table. He picked them up and, upon reading them, announced, "You have at least four potions in your system, five spells on you, including one Memory Charm, and there are multiple spells on both your engagement ring and your necklace."

Lily gasped and took off the ring and necklace, laying them on the coffee table. With an apologetic look, she said, "I am sorry for the way I acted, Severus, Petunia. It was rude and un-lady-like. Severus, is there any way to get a definite count on the potions in my system, and what they are?"

"I have to brew a reveling potion, but give me a day and I will have it and a general nullifier, Lily," Severus said.

"You said the boys switched places on us?" Lily said lightly, bringing the conversation full-circle, and she and Severus started chatting about the boy's antics.

Recognizing the fact that Sev and Lily needed a few minutes, Petunia offered to get some tea for the three of them. She puttered around the kitchen while the water was warming, and she wondered what her nephews would have been like if Lily had married James instead of Severus. "Harry Potter... hmm... nah, it just doesn't sound right," she decided.

The kettle whistled, and she walked over and poured the boiling water into the pot on her tea service. She carried it towards the parlour. She walked in at the end of the conversation:

"Lily, for the last ten years, there has been a void in my life," Severus said. "I still love you, Lily..."

TBC...