"Harry and Neville set a snake on Lord Potter?" Severus asked incredulously.

"Didn't I just say that?" Lily snapped. "And to top it all off, James wanted to ship Harry and William off to a year-round boarding school in Switzerland or some other God-awful place. He gave me the ‘option' of either him or my children."

Severus sat back in his seat and thought for a couple of minutes while Lily fumed. Finally, he asked, "Well?"

"Well what?" came the reply.

"Well, did you choose the twins, or do I get the custody of them both while you run off with Lord Pratt-Arse... excuse me, Potter?"

"I chose my children, of course!" Lily exclaimed. She was surprised that Severus would even think she would consider losing both of her boys.

"Good. I'm glad you left that jerk," Severus said honestly.

The two of them both relaxed into the armchairs in front of Lily's living room fireplace. After about 25 minutes of thoughtful silence, Severus looked over at Lily and asked, "Remember the day I left for Ohio?"

"Vividly," Lily said dryly.

"Why didn't you come with me, Lily? I loved you with all my heart - I still do! - but you refused to come with me."

"I didn't want to leave my parents," Lily said. "Nor did I want to miss out on seeing my nephews grow up."

"No, I suppose not. Instead, you missed out on one of your sons growing up. However, now that all the boys are Hogwarts-bound - or Smeltings-bound, in Dudley's case - would you consider coming back with me to the States?" Severus pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Severus, but I don't think I could," Lily said apologetically, looking torn.

She rose and left the room, leaving a sulking Snape in her living room.

~-~-~-~

Walking past an overflowing dumpster, Severus entered the broken-down phone booth which served as the Visitor's Entrance to the British Ministry of Magic. Dialing 62442, he descended into the Atrium and strode over to Security. After presenting his want to the Security Wizard, he proceeded to take the lift to Level 6:  The Department of Magical Transportation and entered the Portkey Office.

"Good afternoon, sir," a young female assistant said from behind him. "May I help you?"

Severus turned and said, "Yes, I am looking for Alice Longbottom."

"She's right over here, Lord Snape," the assistant said, pointing to a cubicle across the room. At Severus' confused look, she said, "Surely you remember me?" As Severus shook his head, she got a constipated look on her face before her hair started cycling through a plethora of colours.

"Nymphadora Tonks!" Severus said triumphantly, remembering who she was. "You're Andromeda' and Ted's daughter, right?"

"Yes," Tonks scowled. "Just remember this... if you ever call me Nymphadora again, you will find yourself on the business end of my wand. Capisce? "

"Okay. Now where did you say that I could find Alice?" Severus asked.

"She's over in the cubicle with ‘Wonderland' on the nameplate," she said, pointing to the left.

"Thanks, Nymphadora!" Sev said before running off to Alice's cubicle. Tonks just shook her head and went back to her work.

~-~-~-~

Walking into Alice's cubicle, Severus smirked when he saw Alice listening to an enchanted set of headphones. Walking up behind her, he tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to jump up wildly and draw her wand.

Turning, she caught sight of a smirking Severus Snape and said, "Merlin, Severus! Don't do that!"

"I just tapped you on the shoulder," Severus said, smiling. "Do you have my Portkey ready yet?"

"Er... about that..." Alice stuttered nervously. "I wasn't able to get you one."

"What?!?" Severus snarled. "How the Hades am I supposed to get home with William without a Portkey?"

"There's about a three-week wait for a Portkey, so if you want to wait, I can put your name on the list," Alice replied, glancing at a parchment on her desk. "Or you could use Muggle transportation. If you do that, I would recommend Pan-Continental Airlines."

"I can't wait three weeks for a bloody Portkey," Sev muttered. "Much as I hate to admit it, you might be onto something about Muggle transportation."

Alice smiled and gave Severus directions to the Muggle Liaison Department of the Ministry of Magic so that Sev and William could leave the country the Muggle way.

~-~-~-~

Using the papers and money provided for him by the Ministry of Magic, Severus went to Heathrow Airport and purchased two first-class tickets to Ohio before heading back to the Leaky Cauldron to meet up with Lily, Alice and the boys.