-II-

Helena smiled. "I already told you I'm not normal."

"That is the understatement of the year," Severus exclaimed.

Helena ignored Severus and spoke to Draco again. "If you accompany Severus again one day, you come up here to me and I will tell you much more, but right now I have to get back to work, sweetie. So, will you visit me again?"

Draco nodded without even thinking about it. Helena was like Draco had always wished his grandmother was like.

When they almost were out of the room, Helena said, "Don't forget our appointment, Severus."

"I can't remember having made one," Severus said and tried to close the door quickly - unfortunately, not quickly enough.

"Tomorrow ten o'clock. You have a free period between classes then. Until then, Severus," Helena smiled when Severus closed the door, groaning and throwing one last glare at her. She knew he would come.

-II-

"Draco, come on," Severus said, annoyed. He knew that the trip into town wouldn't go too smoothly, but he hadn't thought about Draco refusing to leave the bookstore again. The visit in the small park one hour ago had been a disaster. Draco had tried to melt into Severus, and he had pulled his hat so far over his face that he had tripped several times. It was a wonder he saw the other passengers, but obviously he did because he had changed sides every time somebody passed them. After twenty minutes, Severus had given up, and they had gone to the bookstore.

There they had been for an hour, and Draco found one book after another he really needed to look at closely before they left. "It's so interesting," Draco lied. In reality, he just didn't want to leave. This trip was horrible, and he had the feeling the people who had seen him would have informed all the other people in the town and now they would all be waiting outside the bookstore to stare at him. So he had looked feverishly for books he could stick his nose in so Severus couldn't leave the bookstore with him.

"Draco, we will be late for our meeting with Professor Karley," Severus said, frustrated, and leaned heavily over the table and Draco's book.

"Just this one," Draco pleaded.

"No!" Severus said loudly and slammed the book shut.

Draco winced when Severus shouted. "But..."

"No buts, Draco. I don't know what this is all about, but we need to go."

Draco bit his bottom lip and tried to glance through the dusty shop window. He couldn't see anyone outside waiting for them, but you never know.

"Draco, what's wrong? Did you change your mind about Professor Karley or what? You confuse me," Severus said a bit calmer.

"I... I want to go ho... back to the camp."

Severus groaned. He had feared that Draco would say something like that. Why had he agreed to the lunch meeting with Isaac? He shouldn't have pushed Draco so far, but he had hoped Draco would have been a bit more at ease and able to enjoy the town. "Draco, I can't let Isaac... Professor Karley affront by not showing up in the café. We have at least go to tell him that we won't be eating with him."

"But I want to go back. I don't like it here. They all... they all stare at me."

"They look at you because you behave strange. You hide behind me and pull your hat so far down your face that you can't see anything. You would stare at someone who behaved like that as well."

"I don't want them to stare at me!" Draco said, agitated, but cowered down when that cased the shopkeeper and another costumer to look over to him.

"Then stop behaving like this. Nobody will stare at you when you behave normally."

"Have you looked at me lately, Severus? Can't you see them any longer? I can, every time I look in a damn mirror. They are ugly! Everyone stares at these horrible scars!"

Severus groaned. "Draco, you know I'm not a patient man, and I'm tired of telling you again and again that those scars belong to you, like your blond hair. If people stare at them they are just stupid and not worth your time. Did Helena stare at them, or White Cloud, or the Headmaster, or Light Arrow, or anyone else in the camp?"

"That's different."

"Why is that different, Draco? Those people were just strangers before you met them the first time, but they didn't look at just your scars, but at Draco with his scars. You are the only one who thinks they have to be hidden. It is the hiding that makes people stare, not your scars."

Draco sighed. He hated these kinds of conversations. Severus never understood him.

"We are going now, Draco. Put the book back." Severus tried to speak calmly, but he failed. He knew it was himself he was angry at for not being able to help Draco.

"I still would like to keep this one," Draco said shyly pointing at a book about local animals in the stack of books on the table.

"You know that Light Arrow will most likely have it in his library?"

Draco looked down sadly.

"Oh, please, someone should give me a manual for you and Harry. Sometime you two really act strange and do things I will never understand." Severus grabbed for the book. "Put the rest of them back on the shelf."

Grinning shyly, Draco took the book from Severus hands and petted it almost lovingly. It was full of wonderful drawings and photos of the local animals, and Draco looked forward to showing it to Red Horse.

Severus shook his head and then laid his hand on Draco's neck to guide him out of the shop. "Let's find Professor Karley."

Draco again almost melted into Severus on their way to the café. The book was clutched tightly against Draco's chest while his hat was drawn as deeply as possible over his face.

"Ah, Severus, Draco. I thought you forgot our meeting. Nevertheless, I already ordered our meals. Severus for you I ordered chicken as you always loved it and for your, Draco, I ordered a meat plate. There are all kind of meats on it. So I'm on the safe side except of if you are a vegetarian." Issac knew the boy wasn't a vegetarian. He could smell that. He also could smell the fear the boy was radiating off him and his thoughts were also jumping into his head. It was almost giving him a headache. With great effort, he could occlude his mind against the thoughts that were screamed at him.

Damn, now Draco had to agree to stay and eat with Karley, or it would look very rude. Severus remained standing and waited for Draco's reaction. "I'm not. Not vegetarian, I mean." Uncertainly he looked up at Severus and then pulled one of the chairs out and sat down.

Relieved, Severus sat down as well. "Draco, your hat."

"No," Draco protested and held his hat on his head in case that Severus would try to take it off.

"Draco, please, we already spoke about that. Wearing a hat in a café will draw looks at you and not your scars."

Draco looked accusingly at Severus. Why did he have to say it so openly? Quickly Draco looked around to notice that only an old lady with a woman in her twenties was sitting on a table far away and a man with his nose in a newspaper at a table close by. While he looked around Draco forgot to press his hat on his head, and so Severus used the chance and lifted it off him and hid it beside his chair.

"Severus!" Draco protested and slipped down in his chair.

"You are with your back to the rest of the guests, Draco. Relax," Severus said.

Draco glared at him. Nervously, he started to bounce his leg. He didn't know where he should look. Why had he even agreed to this trip? He felt miserable, and he feared that he would even start to cry any minute, just out of despair.

"What's this book about?" Isaac asked to get Draco out of his panic.

Draco looked scared over to the vampire. He felt so exposed, and he just wanted to be back at the camp. Why didn't Severus rescue him?

Severus was nervous. It didn't seem that Draco would calm down at all. He was torn between just excusing them to leave with Draco and staying and hoping Draco would start to calm down.

"Oh, just excuse me for a moment. The sun is very annoying today," Isaac said and stood up.

"Please, Severus, let us go," Draco pleaded. "I can't any longer. It's too much. I..." And there they were again: the treacherous tears.

"Draco, calm down. It's okay." Severus said, grabbing Draco neck and looking deep into his eyes.

"Here? Is that all right, sir?" a clerk said while he arranged a screen and a sunshade around their table.

"Yes, that will do," Isaac said and let a few coins drop in the hand of the young man.

Draco wiped his tears away and tried to control his sobs. It was embarrassing, but at least he felt better now where they were separated from the other guest's looks.

"Better, Draco?" Issac asked friendly.

Draco nodded, breathing deeply. "I'm sorry."

"There is nothing to be sorry about. So, will you tell me now about your book?"

Draco again breathed deeply and then pulled the book from his chest and gave it to the professor. "It's about local animals. I want to look through it with Red Hor... one of the people in the camp."

"I know Red Horse. I have been a teacher here for many years, Draco, and I often gave private lesson at your camp."

"Oh," Draco relied dumbly. "So you were Severus' teacher as well?"

"Yes, I was, and he was a difficult student." Isaac smiled and his canine became visible again.

Draco looked with fascination at them. "What did you order for yourself?" he blurted out before he could stop himself. "Ehm.. sorry."

Isaac laughed with this deep, rough voice. "No, problem, Draco. I prefer if people are asking me openly instead of staring and wondering. I ordered a beef steak... rare. I'm still a vampire, and so I love the taste of blood, but I hate to eat raw meat. It's so tough."

"Do you eat vegetable as well?"

Isaac still smiled. "No, nothing except for blood has any nutritional value for me. Still, I like to eat a piece of meat from time to time, just for the fun of it, but vegetable taste like a shoe sole to me."

"Sometimes for me as well," Draco muttered.

"Yes, especially the green ones, right?" Severus teased him.

Draco grinned. The mood had definitely lightened up. Draco didn't even hide much when the waitress came and brought their food.

/

Draco fought against the nausea when they landed around two miles from the camp. Side-Along Appartation wasn't something Draco would ever get used to. "Just a short walk and we are back in the camp," Severus stated. The sun was burning down on them mercilessly. Severus had rolled up his sleeves and now opened his shirt as well. A cooling charm would be useless because it would vanish as soon as they entered Light Arrow's wards, which started around one and a half miles from the ranch.

When they had wandered for ten minutes, they heard shouting from behind them. Whirling around, Draco saw Harry waving to them from his horse a little ways away from them. Black Hawk was riding beside him calmly. They only let the horses walk, so it took a few minutes until they reached Severus and Draco.

"Hey," Harry shouted cheerfully, obviously totally forgetting his behavior from the morning.

"Hi," Draco said, a bit uncertain how to react to Harry's cheerfulness. "What are you two doing?"

"It's my reward for wrestling with Red Horse. We were riding for an hour," Harry exclaimed when the stopped beside the two on the ground. "How was the town?"

"Okay," Draco said and looked shyly up at Severus who raised his eyebrow.

"We are late for lunch. I hope White Cloud won't be too upset and left us some food. Have you already eaten?" Black Hawk asked.

"Yes, we already ate in the town with Isaac," Severus explained, petting Shallow Water's head.

"Let's ride back then," Black Hawk stated. "It wouldn't be good to let you ride on Tohiadedi, Draco, so would it be okay with you if you came up on Shallow Water with me?"

Draco was uncertain, but he liked Black Hawk, for the man always had respected his wishes. "Okay," Draco answered insecurely.

"Then come over here. Behind me or in front of me?"

"Behind," Draco stated when he was beside the horse. Black Hawk offered him his hand to pull him up. When Draco took it, he was grabbed around his waist by Severus, and both men hauled him up onto the horse. He almost lost his balance and quickly grabbed for Black Hawk's waist.

Severus meanwhile went over to Harry and Tohiadedi, swung himself up behind Harry and took the reins.

"Hold on, Draco," Black Hawk said and gave Shallow Water a signal to speed up. At first, Draco was scared. It was an odd feeling when the horse galloped, and Draco hugged Black Hawk tightly. When Black Hawk laid one of his hands over Draco's, the boy sighed relieved into the back he was pressed onto. After a few moments Draco relaxed and enjoyed the feeling.

Harry only felt one wave of fear go through him when Severus made Tohiadedi start galloping. Then he quickly enjoyed the feeling. He knew he was safe with Severus. The man had sneaked one of his arms around Harry's torso and held him tight while he guided Tohiadedi with his right hand. After a few minutes of galloping, they slowed the horses to a trot, and then a walk, so they wouldn't be too winded when they arrived back at the camp.

When they arrived in the camp, Severus took Shallow Water's reins as well. "Go in and eat, we'll finish cooling them out and get them ready for the paddock."

"Thanks," Black Hawk said and went inside with Harry. Of course, White Cloud had saved them some food, as well as all the school kids.

/

"Hey," Harry said and sat down beside Draco on the gate. It was two o'clock and Black Hawk was on his way to gather the school kids from school. They were due back any minute. Harry had just had his first meeting with Light Arrow. It was awkward, but okay. They had spoken meanly about his current feelings.

"Hi," Draco replied, not stopping his petting of Unega's head.

"I'm sorry for this morning," Harry said carefully.

"What was wrong with you?"

Harry sighed and then told Draco everything from the last night, and even of his urge to hurt himself and how uncertain he was if he wanted to live or die. He also told Draco that now he was sure that he didn't want to die, but that he also didn't know how to live with the guilt. It felt good, very good, to tell Draco this all.

"He dived down with you and held you so you couldn't get up again?" Draco asked, shocked.

"Yes, but it was all a game. He knew exactly when he had to let go of me," Harry said sullenly.

"Was it very cold?"

"Ice cold. I was glad that I was allowed to shower when we were back, and White Cloud had a Pepper-up-Potion ready for Black Hawk and me. I was very mad at Black Hawk and at everyone else here. That was why I refused to speak with anyone, even you." He lifted his hand to stop Draco's protest. "I know it was unfair. You had nothing to do with it, but damn. I was angry. They played that game with me. They have waited all the time for me to do something stupid and then that. He never wanted to let me kill myself. He was lying to me."

"I'm glad he didn't let you do it," Draco whispered, and when Harry looked over to him, he saw that Draco was crying.

"Hey, what's going on?" Harry laid his arm over Draco's shoulder and pulled him closer.

"I can't live without you, Harry. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't tell you this. I really try to give you room to live your own life, but I need you. It's as if you are a part of me, and when you aren't around, I feel incomplete and lost. Nobody can help me with that, not even Severus. I need you , Harry. It's like what Light Arrow always calls us - it's like you are my twin. I can accept sleeping in another room, but I can't live without you, Harry. Please don't leave me alone."

"I know, Draco, but it hurts so much."

"But I hurt as well, Harry. I can't live without you. Please!"

Harry felt miserably. "I will fight it. I promise, Draco."

Draco nodded and tried to control his sobs.

"Do you want to tell me about the town and the school?" Harry tried to change the topic.

Draco nodded and cleaned his nose. "First we went to the headmaster, but we met Professor Karley on the way. You know, the vampire."

"Really?" Harry was excited to learn about the professor before he would meet with him tomorrow.

"Yes, he was really nice, but at first he thought I was you. He said he will meet you tomorrow. We later had lunch with him, and he told me a little bit about vampires. It was really interesting. Oh and I bought a new book."

"Woah, wait! What did he tell you and how was the school and the headmaster?" Harry wanted to know everything. He couldn't wait until he was allowed to go to school. That would finally distract him a bit from all the thinking. That's why he hoped so much that Professor Karley would agree to teach him.

So Draco told Harry everything about the school, Helena, the director, Professor Karley and the town. Draco didn't even notice that he had calmed down again, nor that the fear, that had overcome him when Harry had told him about his night, was gone.

"Wow, you are so lucky. I hope Severus will take me with him one day as well."

"But if you pass the test tomorrow, you will be homeschooled, so you won't have time to go with Severus."

"I will only be taught two classes, and only for a few hours a week if what Light Arrow said is correct," Harry said, disappointed. He didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to attend school. "So maybe one day Severus can take me with him. Or Professor Karley can take me with him to school and Severus can bring me back."

Draco shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe."

"Are you sure you don't want to take the test? It would be cool if we both would take the classes."

Draco played nervously with Unega's hair. "No, Harry."

"It's okay," Harry said, but couldn't hide his disappointment.

"Hey," Aiden said and jumped over the gate, so that Unega nervously jumped aside.

Draco tensed immediately, but Aiden didn't seem to notice it. Aiden ignored Draco totally. "I should tell you that we meet tomorrow at three for the next wrestling training, and you should join us on our morning run. Crying Horse and I will wait for you at six. We normally run for half an hour. We will see how fit you are."

"Running?" Harry asked, puzzled.

"Yes, it's good to get a clean head. You will see. Do you have running shoes?"

"No, but I have sneakers."

"That's too dangerous. On the uneven ground you could easily splinter your ankles. I will tell Crying Horse that you need running shoes. I will be back in a second."

As soon as Aiden was gone, Draco relaxed a bit.

"Are you scared of Aiden?"

"He is just... I don't know. He is so gruff. That scares me a bit. I know it is stupid, but I can't change it."

"Don't always apologize for what you feel. It isn't stupid."

"So you will go running?"

"It seems so."

Draco grinned.

"What's so funny?"

"I don't know. I just can't imagine you running," Draco said, trying to hide his laughter.

"Very funny, Draco. You could join us," Harry suggested.

"No way. I prefer to sleep in."

"Hmpf."

"Can I watch you wrestling?"

"Sure. You need to ask Light Arrow, I think." Harry didn't ask Draco if he wanted to join them in wrestling because he already knew the answer.

The red pickup drove into the yard and stopped. A hand waved out of the window at them to come over. When Harry and Draco reached the truck, they saw that Black Hawk and Severus were sitting inside. "We need to drive in the town to get you new running shoes, Harry. What about you, Draco? Want to join us?"

Draco shook his head vehemently; no way he would go there again! "No, I want to speak with Red Horse."

Severus was surprised that Draco was staying here alone without Harry or him around. Either he was too scared from the trip this morning, or he really was making lots of progress at the camp.

"Red Horse is in the large stable with Light Arrow. Rose and White Cloud are in the kitchen if you need help," Severus explained and stepped out of the truck to let Harry jump into the middle seat. A minute later, the red pickup rolled from the camp and Draco was left alone. Only then he realized how lonely he now was.