Post Mortem

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It was pitch black when he apparated onto the hilltop. The wind blew strongly, whipping his robes around his body; branches and leaves flung themselves through the air. Severus dropped to his knees as a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew over his head, his wand flying out of his hand.

“Don't kill me!” his voice cracked.

“That was not my intention” the formidable figure of Albus Dumbledore stood before Severus, his robes whipping around his face, illuminated by the dazzling light emitting from his wand. “Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?”

Severus struggled to his feet. “No- no message- I'm here on my own account!” He was wringing his hands: he looked a little mad, with his straggling black hair flying around him and his wand lying forgotten on the ground. “I-I come with a warning-no, a request- please-”

Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Severus faced each other.

“What request could a Death Eater make of me?”

“The- the prophecy...the prediction...Trelawney...”

“Ah, yes,” said Dumbledore. “How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?”

“Everything- everything I heard!” said Severus. “That is why- it is for that reason- he thinks it means Lily Evans!” his voice was distraught.

“The prophecy did not refer to a woman,” said Dumbledore. “It spoke of a boy born at the end of July-”

“You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down- kill them all-”

“If she means so much to you,” said Dumbledore, “surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?”

“I have- I have asked him-”

“You disgust me,” said Dumbledore, his voice filled with contempt and Severus seemed to shrink a little. “You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?”

Severus said nothing, merely looked up at Dumbledore.

“Hide them all, then,” he croaked. “Keep her- them- safe. Please.”

“And what will you give me in return, Severus?”

“In- in return?” Severus gaped at Dumbledore, looking as if he wanted to protest. After a long moment, he answered. “Anything.”

The hilltop dissolved and morphed itself into the familiar circular office.

“I thought...you were going...to keep her...safe...” Sobs poured from the man sitting hunched in the chair. When Severus raised his head to face Dumbledore, he looked like a man who had lived a hundred years of misery.

“She and James put their faith in the wrong person,” said Dumbledore. “Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?”

Severus' breathing was shallow and he did not say anything.

“Her boy survives.” with a tiny jerk of the head, Severus seemed to flick off an irksome fly. “Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure?”

“DON'T!” bellowed Severus as he flung himself upward. He stood there blinking for a moment before his legs collapsed under him and he fell back into the chair. “Gone...dead...”

“Is this remorse, Severus?” Dumbledore's voice was sharp; it pierced through Severus' misery like a lance.

“I wish...I wish I were dead...”

“And what use would that be to anyone?” said Dumbledore coldly. “If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear.”

Severus seemed to peer through a haze of pain and Dumbledore's words appeared to take a long time to reach him. “What- what do you mean?”

“You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son.”

“He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone-”

“The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does.”

There was a long pause, and slowly Severus regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. At last he said, “Very well. Very well. But never- never tell! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear...especially Potter's son...I want your word!”

“My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?” Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Severus' ferocious, anguished face. “If you insist...”

Flames cackled merrily in the stone fireplace as Severus jerked awake. He had not meant to fall asleep, and being greeted by old memories that tore at his conscience did nothing to help his mood. He rubbed his face hard, trying to get rid of the thoughts plaguing him. It seemed that everything he had done in his life had been for Albus Dumbledore and the obligations that Severus should have been released from upon his death, seemed to be taking precedence.

Severus stood up and began pacing. The rest of his morning had been spent brewing in his lab and Severus found himself in a docile enough mood to sit down in the armchair in his front room with Albus' letter. His eyes scanned it feverishly, hoping for something to pop out at him- an apology, or a bit of affection perhaps. Instead, he received a missive from beyond the grave.

Severus,

If you are reading this, then you have done what I have asked. Or was it Miss Dalton who had to step in at the last minute?

I am sorry, Severus, that I could not reveal all my secrets to you. I prefer not to put all of them in one basket, particularly not a basket that spends so much time dangling on the arm of Lord Voldemort. You do this on my orders, I know, and you do it extremely well. Do not think that I underestimate the constant danger in which you place yourself, Severus. To give Voldemort what appears to be valuable information while withholding the essentials is a job I would entrust to nobody but you. You question this trust.

Go to the cottage in Bodmin, Cornwall, and you shall not complain that I have no confidence in you...

There was no signature.

“Damn you, Albus!” Severus growled, his voice rumbling low in his throat. He snarled and thrust the parchment aside. It seemed that even in death, Albus Dumbledore could find ways to play with his mind.

He glanced at the clock above the door. Attempting to convince himself that it had nothing to do with checking on the boy, Severus was itching to return to the Hospital Wing. It was now nearing four in the afternoon. The ten hours since Potter had woken up seemed like a sufficient amount of time for Lupin to fill him in on the events of the last few weeks, and Severus left his chambers, preferring the walk through the quiet halls.

By the time he arrived in front of the doors of the Hospital Wing, it was a quarter past. Severus entered the room, the white walls and tranquil ambiance of the room sending a wave of calm washing over him and Severus took a deep breath as he made his way down the row of beds.

By the looks of it, Potter was sleeping and Lupin and Madam Pomfrey were nowhere to be seen. Severus paused next to him, and took a moment to analyze the boy. The black mop atop his head looked messier than ever, falling over Potter’s face and accentuating the dark shadows around his eyes. The bruising that, up until a little while ago, had shadowed the pale skin had faded no doubt to the credit of the nurse. The thin chest heaved as Potter breathed deeply in his sleep and Severus could see the outline of his rib-cage under the bed clothes and the striped cotton pajamas. Looking closer, a small drop of light reflected off the glistening remnant of a crystalline tear resting in the pillow of soft skin underneath the boy’s eye and Severus wondered if the peaceful sleep Potter seemed to be in was caused by a potion or sheer exhaustion.

Severus took another deep breath and advanced towards the nurse's office, assuming that Madam Pomfrey and Lupin would be in there and sure enough, as Severus pushed open the door he saw the Matron sitting behind her desk, making notes in a file. She nodded in his direction as he closed the door behind him.

“Severus.”

He acknowledged her greeting with a slight tilt of his head. Lupin was on his knees, head in the fire which was glowing emerald and his voice could be heard throughout the room echoing off the stone.

“--tomorrow afternoon. I think that's the best option for now, hopefully being with his friends will speed up the healing process.” Remus paused a moment, apparently listening to whoever it was on the other side of the fire. “That'd be great. We'll see you tomorrow then.” He pulled his head from the fireplace and sat back on his heels. He rubbed a hand over his face and gave a deep sigh.

“Molly and Arthur are letting the children know we're coming. They're going to convert the den on the ground floor into a bedroom for Harry. Severus!” Remus had pushed himself up from the floor, noticing Severus by the door.

“You're leaving Hogwarts?” Severus asked.

Remus nodded. “Poppy and I discussed it and thought it would be better for Harry's recovery if he was with his friends and not stuck in the Hospital Wing. Poppy is going to heal the break in his leg tomorrow morning and we should be able to leave sometime in the early afternoon.”

“You'll be going to the Burrow?”

“The Weasley's and Hermione are still at Grimmauld Place.” 

Severus nodded in acknowledgement. “And Potter is alright with the arrangement?”

“I don't see why it should be a problem. I'd expect him to be more than happy to see Ron and Hermione, and Molly is already gushing about taking care of him.” Remus said confidently. “I haven't asked him yet, but I'll mention it in the morning. He was a little overwhelmed with everything.” 

“Of course he was.” Poppy chimed in and Remus smiled at her.

“He did not take it well.” Severus did not bother turning his statement into a question. None of them had taken the events of the last few days very well and it only made sense that Potter would be shocked to hear it all.

Remus shrugged. “Yes, well...I expected it to hit him hard, especially Albus' death, but...' he put his hands in his trouser pockets. “Poppy had to give him a sedative. It was almost as bad as when Sirius--” he stopped and looked down, composing himself for a moment before continuing. “Speaking of, Severus,” he took a deep breath and then said slowly, “Harry blames you.”

Severus felt as if someone had just hit him in the gut. “What?” his voice was dangerously low and Remus had the decency to look uncomfortable.

“He blames you for Sirius' death.”

“I heard you.” Severus growled “Why would he....how on earth....that arrogant brat!” Severus wanted to break something. Remus had taken a step back and Poppy looked like she was trying to hide behind her papers.

“I tried to convince him otherwise...he still hasn't fully accepted what happened that night...” Remus was trying to make excuses and Severus wouldn't have it.

“I contacted Black as soon as I realized the boy had a vision, and when I saw that that-- stupid child-- had not returned from the forest, going off on his own to the Ministry of Magic, I alerted the Order and I told Black to stay behind!” Severus snarled.

“I know, Severus! And Harry knows. Dumbledore told him everything, but I guess- he doesn't- I don't know-” Remus was stuttering as he attempted to quell Severus' fury, hands held out in front of him defensively. “It's been a hard summer...”

Severus pursed his lips tightly. His nostrils flared angrily, the edges turning white in his fury. That ungrateful brat! Severus spun on his heel and pulled to door open violently.

“Where are you going?” Remus asked with trepidation as he followed Severus out of the office, Madam Pomfrey right behind him.

Severus halted stiffly, his pulse pounding loudly in his temple. The harsh thrumming of his heart seem to entice him and he thought it best to wait a minute before saying anything he might regret.

“While you will be spending the rest of your summer relaxing, I will be cleaning up the rest of this mess.” Severus' voice was scathing despite his attempt to contain his anger. 

A look of confusion flitted across Remus' face and he seemed to want to ask, but Severus was not in the mood for questions. “You will be informed when I deem it necessary.”

Let someone else feel what it was like to be left in the dark for a change.

“But-”

“What, Lupin?” Severus paused again, robes sweeping about his feet as he whirled around.

“What if we need you or-”

“I will be in Bodmin. Do not attempt to contact me. I will return in two days time. You can manage to stay out of trouble for that long, can you not?”

With one last snarl, Severus stormed off once again to do the bidding of Albus Dumbledore.

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Post Mortem- after death

A/N: well, that’s the end of this journey! I’m sorry about taking such a long time to finish, life just got in the way. But I promised I would not leave this as a WIP, and I hope you all enjoyed! I’d love for your feedback- what you liked, what you didn’t- and your hopes for a sequel. I have a quarter of the plot planned out, but I’d love to incorporate what you want to read, so let me know!

Keep your eyes peeled for when the sequel goes up!

Much love to all of you who’ve stuck by me and this story and I hope you’ll be around to support any future writing attempts!