Harry stirred his bowl of applesauce clockwise, then figure eight, then counter-clockwise in a continuous pattern. He wasn't hungry, and the thought of choking down more than the three bites he had already eaten made him nauseous.

"I'm not fooled by your stirring." Severus set down The Daily Prophet.

"I'm not hungry." Harry let his spoon sink into the bowl.

"Two more spoonfuls."

"I'm not three." Harry pushed his bowl away.

"Regardless of your biological age or the age you're acting, you need to eat." Severus slid the bowl back to him.

"Can't you give me extra TPN instead?" He dug his spoon out, applesauce sliding off and falling in globs back into the bowl. "Gross."

"Your body needs nutrients from real food, not from a bag of nutrient enriched liquid." Severus waved his hand, and the applesauce disappeared from the spoon and Harry's hand. "Two more bites."

"Fine." Harry shoved two spoonfuls of applesauce into his mouth. "Can I be dismissed now?" He was tired of sitting at the table like some little kid needing to be watched.

"It's may I, and no, you may not." Severus levitated the dreaded bowl and spoon to the sink before setting an individually wrapped soft mint in front of Harry. "To help settle your stomach."

"Thanks." Harry popped the mint into his mouth.

"They're in a jar on the kitchen counter."

Harry nodded. He hadn't stepped foot into the kitchen yet, though Severus' comment sounded like he meant for Harry to grab anything he wanted from it, the complete opposite of the Dursleys.

Severus cleared his throat. "Would you like to shave your head?"

"What?" Harry's head slammed into the back of his chair.

"Do you want to shave your head?"

"Why?" Harry rubbed the back of his head.

A clump of hair fell onto the floor.

Harry froze. He had forgotten about the clump that had fallen out yesterday until now. Was his hair going to keep falling out in clumps like that? Maybe if he kept his hands out of his hair it wouldn't fall out. But he had noticed more hair on his pillow that morning, and he had stopped looking down when he showered after he started chemo. Was it noticeable his hair was falling out? Did he have bald spots already?

"Lean forward."

Harry rested his head in his hands as Severus' fingers prodded the back of his head. He jumped when Severus hit the spot he banged on the chair. It didn't really hurt, but the spot ached.

"It may be sore for a bit, but you're fine."

Harry rolled his eyes. Add that to the soreness in his back and all over low level of discomfort from the nerve damage. At least his head didn't feel like a miniature dragon was trying to break through it yet today.

"May I be excused?" Harry wanted nothing more than to hole up in his room and sulk. Didn't he deserve a day to be angry at the world?

"You may." Severus stepped away from Harry's chair.

Harry set one hand on the table and the other on the chair before pushing himself to his feet. He took a deep breath and waited for the dizziness to pass. He really shouldn't feel like an eighty year old at fifteen. Once he was sure he could make it, Harry half-limped, half-stumbled his way to his room, slamming his door shut.

*~AIE~*

Severus set his quill down and pinched the bridge of his nose. The books in his library were little more than useless and the books Albus sent down were informative but did nothing to help him start to formulate a potion to separate the Horcrux from his son. Severus looked at the pocket watch lying out in the middle of the disarray of books and parchment he had created on top of his large library table. 5:30 PM. Four hours was more than enough time for Harry to sulk.

Sighing, Severus left the peacefulness of his library. Ever since the chemotherapy ended on Saturday and his child started feeling better Harry's moods had been swinging from one extreme to the next. He knew it was a side effect of the steroids, but that didn't make the mood swings any easier to deal with. Severus wouldn't be surprised to find Harry bawling instead of sulking when he entered Harry's room.

Tomorrow, however, promised to be the ultimate test of his patience when they went to Grimmauld Place for Black's memorial. If Harry was well enough. His child needed the closure the memorial would bring, but Severus wouldn't risk any setback to his son's health if his blood counts weren't high enough. Harry's ANC count needed to stay above five hundred for one more day for Severus to feel safe taking Harry outside the controlled environment he had created in his quarters.

"Harry." Severus knocked on Harry's door.

"Go away!"

"I'm coming in." He counted to ten before opening the door.

The bathroom light caught Severus' attention. He crossed the room, anxiety growing in his chest. Harry shouldn't be vomiting from the chemo still.

Severus scanned the bathroom until he saw Harry sitting on the edge of the bathtub, his shoulder slumped and his head tilted forward. Harry's left hand was clenched in a fist.

"What's wrong?" Severus knelt in front of his child. His eyes took inventory of Harry's current condition. No blood and no sign that anything was physically wrong.

Harry opened his fist to reveal a clump of black hair. "I got up after lying down and I brushed my hair and the next thing I knew there was a ton of hair stuck in the brush, and so then I...I used my hand to try to smooth it down and it fell out. I didn't pull at it, but it fell out anyway. I didn't mean to do it and I thought maybe it was a fluke so I tried again and even more fell out. I-"

"Shh." He took the hair from Harry's hand and banished it with a flick of his wand. Severus reached out to squeeze his child's knee, but Harry all but fell against him, sharp bony arms wrapping around Severus' neck while a pair of glasses were pressed against his shoulder.

"What if I have a funny shaped head, or my hair never grows back?" Harry whispered.

"It'll grow back, and no one will notice if your head is not perfectly shaped." Severus' fingers glided down Harry's spine, vertebrae poking out from behind a thin layer of skin and muscle. "I'll shave my head if you'd like. No one will pay attention to your lack of hair if they are too busy discussing the greasy git's missing locks."

Harry chuckled. "You really would?"

Severus nodded.

Harry's chuckles escalated to full-out laughter as he pulled away. "You...without hair...that's wrong."

"Are you saying you'd rather not have me shave my head?" Severus flipped his hair in a perfect imitation of many of Harry's female classmates. "Is my hair that infamous?"

"Stop!" Harry choked out between laughs.

Severus flipped his hair again. His legs were falling asleep under him, but as long as Harry laughed, Severus didn't care.

"Don't!" Harry wrapped an arm around his ribs.

The Potions Master smiled. His child sounded happy, if only for a minute.

"Okay." The smile on Harry's face morphed into a forced grin of determination.

"Pardon?"

"Is there a spell for it, or should I find the scissors?"

"You want me to shave my head?" Severus set his hand on Harry's shoulder in confusion.

Harry shook his head. "I think I should shave my head and get it over with before more falls out and I start getting bald spots and I'm reminded every time I touch my head that it's falling out, so is there a spell or where is a pair of scissors?"

"Are you sure you want to do this right now?"

"Yes."

"I'll get the clipper." Severus grabbed onto the edge of the tub and stood, the popping of his knees echoing off the walls.

Severus retrieved the Muggle looking clipper Miss Adamson had left for him from the locked cabinet where Harry's medications were kept in the dining nook. On the way back into Harry's bathroom, he grabbed a towel from the wardrobe and summoned an empty phial.

Harry stared into the mirror, his fingers holding back his fringe. The infamous lightning bolt scar stood out against Harry's ghostly complexion. The scar was reddish-pink and looked irritated.

"Do you have a headache?" Severus set down the clipper and titled Harry's head towards him to look at the scar.

"A little, but I can't remember the last time I didn't have one." Harry shrugged.

"We need to continue your Occlumency lessons."

"There's no spell that can conceal my scar, is there?"

"No, but there's hats in your wardrobe." Severus wrapped the towel around Harry's shoulders. "Have you used a Muggle clipper before?"

"Aunt Petunia used one to cut my hair. Like this, right?" Harry picked up the clipper and moved it above his hair from the front of his hairline to the back.

"Exactly like that. You can't mess up." Severus stepped to the side so Harry wouldn't see his reflection in the mirror standing behind him.

"I just turn it on?" Harry turned to him.

Severus nodded.

"Right." Harry took a deep breath. "I'll turn the clipper on and shave my head." He hit the on button before holding the device up to his hairline and froze.

Severus stepped behind Harry and took the clipper out of his child's hand. "Would you like me to do it for you, Harry?"

His son nodded.

He turned the device off prior to snatching a cotton ball and transfiguring it into a stool. "Do you want to watch?"

"No."

Severus pushed the stool into the middle of the room, away from the mirror's reflection. "Sit."

Harry climbed onto the stool, his foot tapping against the leg and his nails digging into the edge of the seat.

"Your mother shaved her head one summer." Severus picked up the clipper.

"She did?" Harry chewed on his lip.

"Stop that." Severus waited for Harry to stop chewing his lip. The child was one of the most fidgety students he had ever taught at Hogwarts.

"Sorry."

"Lily knew a young boy, Jesse, that had cancer. She shaved her head when his hair fell out so he wasn't the only one." Severus purposefully left out that Jesse was Lily's baby brother. Harry didn't need to know his uncle died from the same cancer Harry had. Severus didn't want to put any doubts in Harry's head that he would not survive.

"Would Mum have done the same for me?"

"She would've done it the moment you started chemo." Severus remembered watching Lily stand in front of the mirror and use her father's clipper to shave off her long red hair. She hadn't told her parents she was going to do it.

"Your grandmother was so surprised she dropped the pie she was taking out of the oven." Severus brought the clipper up to his son's fringe.

"Were they mad?"

"Of course not. That night your grandparents and I followed Lily's lead." Severus shaved the first strip of Harry's hair. The black locks floated to the ground, revealing a white scalp.

"You shaved your head, too?" Harry stopped tapping the leg of the stool.

"Lily shaved it for me." He paused with the clipper at Harry's neck at the irony. Like Harry, Severus couldn't bring himself to shave his head.

"Did either of you have funny shaped heads?"

"No."

"That's good for me, right? I mean head shape has to be somewhat genetic." Harry gulped.

"Harry, I'm more than half-way done, and your head is perfectly round." Severus squeezed his child's shoulder.

"Right. Can you tell me more about Mum?"

"What do you want to know?"

"What was her favorite color?"

"Purple." Severus gently guided the clipper over the spot where Harry bumped his head against the chair. The area had a slight yellowish hue to it that would fade in a day or two. "What's your favorite color?"

"Blue. Everyone always assumes that it's red because I'm a Gryffindor. Is there some custom in the wizarding world that I don't know about that your favorite color must be one of your house colors?" Harry sighed.

"No. Otherwise I'd be violating that custom as well. Indigo is my choice of color."

"Indigo?" Harry's eyebrows scrunched up in a mix of disbelief and confusion.

"The color found between blue and violet on the color spectrum."

"I know that, but why indigo?" A clump of hair tumbled down and stuck to Harry's back.

"It's technically precise. Unlike blue where an object can be teal, cyan, or navy to name a few, an object is either indigo or it is not." Severus ran his free hand through the remaining strands of his child's soft hair one last time to fluff it up to make it easier with the clipper, or at least that's what he told himself. Hair fell out in his hand and Severus slipped the strands into an empty phial before sending the phial to his room with a flick of his wrist for safekeeping.

"Severus?" Anxiety reentered Harry's voice.

He shaved the last strip of hair off his child's head. "I'm finished," Severus whispered, pulling the towel off from Harry's shoulders. 

Severus watched Harry walk over to the mirror. The child took a step backward in surprise. Harry raised his hand, his fingers millimeters away from touching his scalp. One finger lowered and Harry jumped as he flung his hand down to his side.

"I look sick." Harry turned around and leaned against the counter.

"You look like the same Harry to me." Severus stepped up beside his son and took his hand.

"No, I don't."

"You do." Severus studied his son. Harry's face had taken on a rounded shape from the steroids and his skin was pale and thin, but the child was still Harry with his small perfectly shaped nose and bright eyes that somehow refused to dull despite the tragedies they had seen.

Severus conjured a handheld mirror and held it up in front of Harry. "Look, there's a little discoloration from when you bumped your head earlier, but otherwise your head is perfectly round and normal."

"I don't want to look." Harry slid down the cabinet to the floor.

Severus set the mirror on the counter and sat down beside his son. Harry leaned into Severus' side, exposing a dark spot above his left ear that Severus had failed to notice before.

"It seems that luck has always been with you." Severus traced the mark with his finger.

Harry batted Severus' hand away. "What?"

"You have a birthmark above your left ear that resembles a four-leaf clover."

Harry pulled the hood of his hoodie up. "Stop looking at my head." 

Severus sighed and banished the clippings to the fireplace before casting an extra cleansing and sanitizing charm. The bathroom was charmed to clean and sanitize itself after a person left the room, but he couldn't be too careful.

He twisted and grabbed the counter with the intention to get up off the floor until a tug on his sleeve stopped him.

"Stay."

Severus returned to the hard stone floor and wrapped his arm around Harry's back.

"Alright."

*~AIE~*

Harry counted three hundred and sixty-three and a half stones on the ceiling of the sitting room. He lay on the plush area rug close to the fireplace, soaking up its warmth. Flurry was curled up by his side.

His head felt beyond strange. The hood rubbed against his head every time he moved, and not in a way he had ever experienced. Harry could feel the fabric covering every inch of his scalp. He reached up and pulled the hood further down his forehead, jumping as the fabric slid over his head.

Footsteps echoed through the stone floor, the light steps coming closer until black boots straddled his outstretched left arm. Harry looked up to see Severus peering down at him with an espresso colored leather bag flung over his shoulder and a cloak draped over his arm.

"Get up."

"Where are you going?" Harry sat up, his hand catching his hood before it could fall off.

"We're going out." Severus held his free hand out.

Harry grabbed Severus' hand and was pulled to his feet. Dizziness exploded before his eyes, and he tightened his grip on Severus' hand and arm. 

"Okay?" Severus gripped Harry's shoulder with his other hand.

"I'm fine." Harry blinked, the dizziness passing. "I thought I wasn't allowed outside?"

"Sporadic exposure to the outdoors is acceptable as long as you don't roll in the grass or feel the need to eat dirt." Severus handed the cloak to Harry.

"Really? Where are we going?"

"The staff gardens." Harry's new trainers came flying into the room and fell to the floor in front of the ottoman. "Put those on."

A sloppy smile spread on Harry's face as he stumbled over to the ottoman and pulled his shoes on.

"Hold out your hands." Severus unscrewed a large jar.

Harry held out his hands while he watched Severus scoop out a dollop of white cream and deposit it in Harry's hand.

"Rub that into your hands and arms up to your elbows. It's sunscreen, and before you protest, your treatments and medications make your skin extremely susceptible to the sun. Every time you go outside, you'll need to use sunscreen on any part of your body that isn't covered." Severus scooped out a smaller dollop and started to rub it on Harry's face. "Close your eyes."

Harry was too excited to protest. It had been so long since he had been outside, or really outside of Severus' quarters for anything that wasn't related to his treatments. He didn't even care why they were going to the staff gardens.

"Let's go."

He stood up and followed Severus out to the hall. They had to stop every few flights of steps for Harry to rest, but once Harry stepped out into the staff gardens and the wind blew against his face, the heaviness in his chest and the weakness in his legs were all worth it.

The staff gardens located in a hidden courtyard off the staffroom was not at all what Harry expected. On the far side a small garden was planted with roses, lilies, and sunflowers. Separated by a stone path, another garden on the right contained rare potions ingredients. In front of the gardens, three round tables with chairs were scattered about the stone patio.

"Sit in the shade." Severus nudged Harry towards the table that was closest to the doorway.

Harry plopped into a chair and looked up towards the sky, smelling the fresh summer air. The white fluffy clouds were a lot more interesting to look at than the stones of the sitting room's ceiling. If he squinted his eyes just right, the cloud floating above him took on the appearance of a rabbit.

"Harry."

"Hmm?" Harry asked without looking down.

"Give me fifteen minutes, and then you can stare at the clouds all you'd like."

"Sorry." Harry blushed.

"While Miss Adamson is waiting to start your formal physical therapy until you've recovered more, I got the approval from her this morning to start light exercises with your hands." Severus pulled out yellow putty from a small tub and handed it to Harry.

"What am I supposed to do with it?" Harry rolled the putty in his hand.

"There's specific exercises, but for today smash it, roll it, shape it, whatever you want for fifteen minutes." Severus pulled out his pocket watch and set it beside his book.

"Okay." Harry set the putty on the table and smashed it down.

He hadn't played with putty or clay since primary school art class. While Harry was never the best artist, he enjoyed art class. A dinosaur he had made out of clay had even made it into the school's art fair one year. Or course he never went to the art show to see it displayed there.

Harry pulled off a portion of putty and rolled it into a log before bending one end up at an angle. He rolled a smaller piece into a ball and set it on top of the first piece. A few putty shapes later, Harry had a cat that leaned to the right.

"Is that meant to be Flurry?" Severus set down his quill.

Harry shrugged. "What are you doing?"

"Lesson plans." Severus slammed Defensive Magical Theory shut. "Did you learn anything at all this year in Defense?"

"No. Has Dumbledore hired the new Defense professor yet?" Harry picked up the leftover putty and poked indentions in it with his fingers.

"I believe he's waiting for more applicants, but whomever is hired cannot be worse than Umbridge." Severus glanced at the pocket watch. "Your time was up ten minutes ago. Are your hands sore?"

"A little." Harry smashed the putty cat and stuffed it all into the container. He felt a cleaning spell wash over his hands.

Severus set a canning jar filled with diluted cranberry juice in front of Harry after unscrewing the lid along with a package of crackers.

"Were there potions ingredients in here at one point?" Harry eyed the jar with caution. He couldn't stomach the idea of drinking something out of a jar that once held beetle eyes or bat wings, or some other disgusting ingredient.

"Of course not, child." Severus shook his head.

Harry sipped the juice. It felt cool sliding down his throat and his taste buds registered the slight bitterness unlike the nothingness taste of most foods or drinks.  He picked up a cracker, nibbling on it. He was trying to get past his food aversion and crackers should be a safe food.

"What spells did you teach to Dumbledore's Army?"

"We worked on disarming, the Patronus Charm, the basics." Harry broke the cracker in half. "Do you know what spells you're going to teach us?"

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "I hope I'll only need a week or two at most to review the spells you were supposed to know by now, but it seems I'll have to squeeze five years worth of spells into as little time as possible. I would not want to be the full-time Defense teacher. It'll be challenging enough to rectify five and six years of inferior instruction to students who somehow managed to get an O on their O.W.L.S."

Harry shifted back in his chair as guilt washed over him. Severus was stressed because of him. If Harry didn't require near constant supervision because of his cancer, Severus wouldn't have had to agree to Dumbledore's proposition.

"I'm sorry." Harry drew his knees up to his chest.

"Harry," Severus sighed. "There is nothing for you to feel sorry or guilty about. I chose to accept this position the Headmaster made up because I wanted to."

"But it's because of me."

"We've talked about this before. You cannot force me to do anything. If I didn't want to be there for your treatments, I could hire a healer to stay with you full time or have your treatments take place inpatient. I want to be here for you." Severus lowered his voice. "Can't you believe me?"

"I'm trying." It went against everything Harry had been told to believe. Adults weren't to be trusted. They never kept their promises, but Severus confused him. The Professor kept his promises and did little things like take him outside when he didn't have to. Harry hoped it wasn't some big Slytherin plot that he couldn't sense. Severus cared for him, he knew that much, but why? Was it because they were father and son and Severus felt obligated to care for him? No, it was beyond that, yet Harry wanted a singular moment to point to when he had become a child to care for and perhaps love in Severus' eyes however unlikely that was.

"Stop trying to rationalize your feelings, child. They're called feelings because they're inherently irrational." Severus transfigured Harry's chair to recline backwards.

"Hey!" Harry grabbed the arms of the chair.

Severus pointed to a cloud. "That one resembles a snitch."

"Which one?" Harry looked up at the clouds.

Severus knelt by Harry side, pointing Harry's finger at a cloud to their left. "That one."

Harry titled his head to examine the cloud. "That's not a snitch, that's an owl."

"It's a snitch."

"Owl."

"Snitch."