After the stressful day, Severus was glad to be back in his beloved little home in the dungeons away from stupid co-workers and noisy children. That Granger girl was far too nosy. She needed to be punished for it. No child should be that inquisitive all the bloody time!

Putting Harry to bed was a challenge that particular night, as the little imp simply did not want to sleep. He wanted to stay up and cuddle with his dada. But Severus was sorely convinced that he was not the cuddling type. In fact, he wasn’t the caring type really. He had jumped a woman and suspended her from the ceiling for Merlin’s sake! And Albus would leave a baby in Snape’s care?

Well, Harry did belong with Severus after all. It was only natural that the baby be with his birth father, right? Besides, if Harry had a chance of survival, it would be with him. Severus could teach the child so much! He could make a better brewer out of the little creature, could teach him spells far more advanced than any of the other students, could give him all the advantages that he never had. When Harry grew up again…

“What are you thinking?” Snape asked himself in shock. Harry was not going to simply re-grow up. The boy was going to turn back into his normal, bratty fifteen year old self soon enough. And when that time came, Severus was going to have to give Harry up, let the boy believe that nothing changed between them. Let the boy believe that Snape still hated him.

I do hate him! Severus thought in a panic. I hate him and I wish I could just chop him up and use him in potions!

But when the Potions Master looked down into the peaceful face of the sleeping child, he knew, deep down, that he would never harm the boy. Deep down, there was something else there, something…warm? Dear Merlin, when had he gotten soft?

After putting Harry to bed, Severus went through his nightly routine and changed into his pajamas. He was far too tired to do any grading. If the students didn’t like it, they could kiss his ass… On second thought, the professor wasn’t sure he’d like that very much. Who knew where those kids have been? They’d probably give him rabies or something.

Laying down, closing his tired eyes, all the professor could do was picture Miss Granger staring at him and the baby, her dark eyes quick and formulating. Merlin’s beard, what if she actually figured it out?

*******

The next morning things went much the same as they had been going. Except Dumbledore called a meeting for the Heads of House for that afternoon. What could Albus be up to that would involve all the Heads of House? It couldn’t be about Harry, as Flitwick and Sprout didn’t have a clue on what was going on, and not even Minerva knew the whole truth of the matter. So what had he come up with so suddenly? And how was he going to look after Harry during that time? He was sure the other three professors wouldn’t mind having Harry in the meeting, and everyone knew the Headmaster wouldn’t give a hoot, but Severus still wasn’t sure he wanted to have the child there. There was a lot that could happen, after all.

But as Minerva and Filius tried to wheedle out more information form the ancient wizard, the Headmaster utterly refused to speak further on the matter. That, in itself, scared Severus at least. What was going on that Albus wouldn’t even talk? The old man was not always as inconspicuous as this. Something important was going on, and Severus was determined to do his part… even though he still had an infant to watch out for and he was running on little sleep nowadays.

After breakfast, which went about the same as always, Severus took his charge and went down into the dungeons to prepare for his class. Although, he would have to clean up first, as Boo-boo, the Amazing Vomiting Child, had decided to once again throw up on Severus’s shoulder. Now, the Potions Master had actually come to expect this, and he had tried to set up protection for himself by placing a cloth on his shoulder so that if Harry did decide to give back his breakfast, Severus wouldn’t get caught in the blast and could easily get rid of the stuff before it soaked through his clothes. However, that idea had not worked so well, when Harry had actually managed to throw up on the opposite shoulder. How the little bugger had managed it, Severus was still trying to figure it out.

Setting the sleeping infant down in his little “pen” as everyone had started to call it, Snape went about setting out ingredients for his class. The “pen,” why’d they call it that with such a negative tone? If they had to look after the little brat that hated everyone but them then they would find relief in getting away from the child too. Besides, Harry’s little crib was actually quite comfortable, with Slytherin green pillows and a blanket with the Slytherin crest on it, and his teddy bear that Severus was sure that if it had been a living thing, it would have been dead by now as much as Harry hugged and cuddled it. It was so cu- disgusting. Yes, yes that’s what Snape thought of it. It was disgusting. It certainly was not cute!

The students filed in one at a time, much like they had over the past couple of days. It seemed they were still not used to the idea of the Potions Master being in the class before them. But Severus was actually starting to find the pleasure in it as he had once again thrown the students off. Even Malfoy seemed perplexed with Snape’s actions lately. That was always fun.

Snape’s joy was cut far too short when the Weasley boy and Granger came walking into the classroom, seeming to be in a heated debate. The professor’s heart jumped as he watched. What could they be arguing about? Was it about Harry? Severus made mental note to tell Albus about the little brats later.

If they figured it all out, there would be no way the Potions Master could keep Harry then. Severus could just imagine the whole scenario now; Granger would tell Weasley, Weasley would tell his parents, his parents would tell Black and Lupin, and Black and Lupin would storm here to Hogwarts, murder Snape, and then take Harry away until he changed back. And Harry would never know anything! ...But Severus was not supposed to tell, isn’t that what the Headmaster said?

Giving a quick glance over at the sleeping baby, Snape contented himself with the knowledge that Harry was safe and with him for the time being. And as a professor, Snape intended to keep an eye on the two pesky Gryffindors and throw them off scent.

*******

That afternoon, Severus, Minerva, Filius, and Pomona all met at the Headmaster’s office. The two wizards and the two witches were all still confused by Dumbledore’s request for a meeting as they walked in. When they saw Umbridge sitting there, however, things started to make much more sense. “Wonderful,” Severus rolled his eyes.

“Please sit down everyone,” Albus invited while Umbridge scowled.

“What’s this all about then, Albus?” Minerva asked crisply. “None of us have that much time to spare.”

Snape scowled in agreement. Wasn’t he already busy enough with classes, grading, potions, and the baby?

“Very well then,” Dumbledore nodded, folding his hands on top of his desk. “Professor Umbridge has expressed her feeling dissatisfaction with all of you.”

“What!” Filius stood up on his chair in outrage. “And what, Madam, is that supposed to mean?”

“That, Professor Flitwick, is what I am dissatisfied with,” the toad croaked. “As the Heads of House, you are supposed to be the ones that have the most impact on the students and their behavior towards the other professors, and none of you have been showing me any respect, and therefore the students are not listening to me anymore.”

“The students were never listening to you,” Severus muttered drolly. Merlin, this was a waste of time. Hadn’t she learned that quarreling with him got her nowhere?

“You have been the worst, Professor Snape!” Umbridge pointed an accusing finger at him. “Your snakes haven’t been paying the least bit of attention to me!”

“That’s because they all know your teaching is a bunch of Ministry crock,” the Potions Master hissed, becoming defensive once again. No one messed with his brood and got away with it!

“Please, please,” Dumbledore intervened. “I called this meeting to settle differences and hopefully to let each of you come away with a better understanding of one another.”

None of the professors looked pleased, but the Headmaster went on. “Now,” the old wizard said happily, his eyes sparkling. “Severus, since you and Dolores seem to be having the worst time of it, let’s start from the beginning. Reintroduce yourselves.”

Shooting the Headmaster a look that could have slew a thousand men, Snape resettled Harry and waited for Dolores to make the first move. Merlin, he didn’t want to shake her hand. Who knew where it had been? Up Fudge’s ass, perhaps?

Umbridge stuck out her hand, and only with some encouragement from Albus did Snape actually take it. “Professor Snape,” Dolores nodded a greeting. “It’s nice to meet you. I see from looking at you, you take pride in looking professional.”

“Professor Umbridge,” Severus greeted in return, but drew a blank at what to say next. “Every time I look at you, I get the fierce desire to be lonesome.”

While McGonagall and Sprout were trying to hide their laughter, Flitwick saw no problem with laughing. Even Dumbledore began to chuckle while Umbridge sat in shocked outrage. “Headmaster!” she shrieked.

“Now, now, Severus,” Albus smiled lightly. “You were supposed to think up something nice to say back to Dolores.”

“Nice?” Severus looked doubtfully at the Headmaster.

“Yes, Severus, something nice. Let’s try again,” Albus grinned. “Now, my boy, give Dolores a complement.”

Staring at the frog woman in pink, Snape, for the life of him, could not think of anything pleasant to the woman. She was utterly revolting, and he did not know how to give her a complement. There was nothing appealing about her, and it would be too much of a stretch at any given truth to simply exaggerate.

Refusing to speak, Severus glared over at the old man, an eyebrow raised in defiance. “Can’t think of anything?” the Headmaster said pitiably. “That’s okay. We’ll come back to you. Minerva!” the witch winced. “Give a nice complement to Dolores.”

Looking as though she were actually contemplating suicide, or murder, the Transfiguration professor took a deep breath. “Umbridge,” Minerva started off well enough. “You…always…seems so organized.”

Smiling, even though the complement was forced, Umbridge accepted the complement as though she had received an award. “Thank you, Minerva.” Severus noticed the way McGonagall’s eyes twitched as the other witch said her name.

“Now Pomona,” Dumbledore smiled broadly.

“Your clothes are… always match so wonderfully,” the Herbology teacher actually managed a smile. Only a Hufflepuff.

Filius seemed to be thinking all this time, as though trying to come up with something else to say. Snape knew that Flitwick was just wanting to get out of here, the same as him. The half-goblin hated the DADA professor and had even come up with a few charms that he would use if the woman got on his bad side. So when his turn came, the Charms professor sat up straight. “You necklace is very beautiful,” he said quickly. “Did you get it over seas?”

“Why, thank you, Filius!” Dolores exclaimed excitedly. “And yes I did, indeed! It comes from Wales.”

There was a moment of awkward silence that fell over the room as everyone thought over what the witch had just said.

“I can’t believe that out of the ten thousand sperm, you were the quickest,” Severus sneered.

Realizing her mistake far too late, Umbridge stood up from her chair and stormed out of the room. There was another silence before everyone, except Severus, burst into laughter. Filius even slapped the young man’s back in approval. “Very good, Severus, very good!”

Raising an eyebrow, the Potions Master scowled at everyone when Harry woke and began to squirm and fuss. Realizing that they might get in trouble, Sprout and Flitwick left quickly, not wanting Severus to yell at them for waking little Evan. The younger professor seemed to be in one of his “moods” today.

And as Snape began to rock Harry again, hoping the child would calm, Minerva watched silently, her lips in a thin line. “Severus, I would have a word with you, if I may,” she said after a minute.

“I really am busy, Minerva,” Snape growled, while Harry once again found delight in pulling his father’s hair.

“It won’t take long,” the witch promised.

“Very well,” the Potions Master sighed. “What is it?”

“I just wanted to know how Harry was getting along,” she stepped towards the wizard and the baby. “Have you been treating him alright?”

“What?” Severus exclaimed in outrage.

“What I mean is, have you been taking care of his mental needs, not just his physical?” McGonagall specified. “Have you made him feel loved? Safe? Have you read him any bedtime stories?”

Although Severus understood her concern, he was still insulted at Minerva’s assumptions. Did everyone here really think that he would not make a good father? Merlin, first the students, then all the staff, and last Dumbledore! It was getting tiresome.

“Oh, sure,” Snape rolled his eyes. “I read to him out of only the classics, such as; You Were an Accident, You Are Different and That’s Bad, Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share, That’s it, I’m Putting you up for Adoption, Daddy Drinks Because of You, and of course who could forget Strangers Have the Best Candy.”

Horrified, but realizing Severus’s mood, Minerva growled low in her throat. “You think this is all a game, don’t you?” her eyes flashed in anger. “But just remember, Harry’s in my house, and if he comes away from this experience in emotional, mental distress, you’ll be the one to pay.”

“Of course,” the Slytherin drawled. “To make it clear, I’d like to be disemboweled so my organs go to good use.”

Huffing, the Head of Gryffindor spun around on the Headmaster. “This is your fault!” she hissed. “Why didn’t you give Harry to me? Why’d you give the boy to someone that doesn’t even like him?”

“Come, come now my dear,” again, Albus looked far too old and weak. “Severus is the youngest staff member. Besides, I think Harry really likes him.”

“Heaven knows why,” Minerva growled before she stormed out of the room.

Dumbledore followed his Deputy Headmistress out, leaving Severus alone at last. Looking down at the big green eyes that stared up adorningly at him, the professor had to sigh again. “Well kid, you are going to get me into a lot of trouble,” he scowled. “But you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you, so let go get everyone pissed at us. Sound good to you?”

Harry giggled merrily and clapped his chubby hands in glee. Actually smiling, Severus grabbed a lemon drop, popped it in, before leaving.

It was unfortunate that he did not notice the letter from St. Mango’s on the Headmaster’s desk, or the announcement of accepting the experimental potion that would be looked at for further investigation.