"What happened last night?" Ron had a worried look on his face, but Harry had a hard time seeing it because he was trying to fight the nauseousness the spinning was putting upon him.

"I dunno. Where were you? I looked for you but you weren't here when I got back."

"Hiding from Snape," Ron said, crossing his arms. "We nearly got caught last night in the dungeons?"

"Huh?" Harry was only more confused.

"When you first went to have detention with him Fred and George and I snuck down there and George did a cleaning spell on the floor for you from under the door. We didn't expect Snape to drag you out of there though. He nearly bowled us over when he threw the door open. We were lucky to find a hiding spot."

"Oh, that's what happened," Harry said, feeling as if it should all be clear to him, but still unable to grasp it.

"What happened after that?" Ron asked curiously, wondering how much trouble Harry had been in for the floor suddenly being clean. "You look a little pale... did he curse you?"

Harry shook his head, remembering being chucked into the corridor and smacking his head against the stone wall. He didn't want to tell Ron about that, because it would only serve to prove that Harry really was a bad person, and he feared losing his only friend.

"He threw me out... I don't know why. I was just cleaning and then he shouted at me to get out and I left."

"Wonder what that was about," Ron said thoughtfully. "Whatever you did it must have been brilliant, and I'm sure my brothers would go wild to find a way to get out of detention quickly.

Biting his lip and trying to get the room to stop spinning as he sat up slowly, Harry said, "No, don't tell them anything about it. I don't even know what I did. I still have detention tonight though and for the rest of the week."

Ron stuck his tongue out in disgust. "There's got to be something we can do about this... maybe we can ask McGonagall to get you out of it?"

"No!" Ron was surprised by how adamant Harry was. "He'll know I asked to get out and he'll just be harder on me. I dunno, maybe I deserve all of this."

"Don't be nutters Harry," Ron said. "He's just a slimy git. You haven't done anything wrong at all yet this year. When Fred and George get detention it's because they pulled a prank or were out of the tower at midnight or something... you haven't done any of that."

Harry held his head in his hand as it gave another nasty throb. "Well I must have done something." In his mind he knew he was right. Snape was a professor at a respected school... they wouldn't hire a crazy person and he had to be a rational man to get the position. The truth was that Harry was just a bad person and Snape had been the only one to pick up on it. Harry didn't deserve to be here.

At breakfast he pushed his scramble around his plate, not feeling hungry. Trying to cheer him up Ron said, "I wrote a letter to my mum again asking about any wizards named Evans. I haven't sent it yet but I was going to after dinner tonight."

Harry shrugged. "Don't bother." What use was it trying to find somebody he was related to when they wouldn't want him anyway? He deserved to be at the Dursleys as much as he hated it there. Uncle Vernon and aunt Petunia also knew that Harry was a bad person and so had punished him for it all these years. He deserved whatever he got.

Ron frowned but didn't say anything else, seeing his friend deep in thought.

A group of Slytherins laughed as they walked by and Draco called over to them, "You're being inducted into Slytherin as an honorary member tonight Potter. Even we couldn't make Gryffindor lose so many points. You'll be in the negatives soon."

Harry didn't look up, but Ron sneered. "Stupid little prat," he said under his breath.

As classes went on throughout the day Harry was glad he hadn't eaten anything for breakfast because his stomach felt like rebelling. He was sure he would throw up before the day was out, and he wasn't sure if it was because he was getting sick or if it was because he was sick to finally come to the realization that he was an awful person not worthy to go to school there. Being as horrible as he was he was lucky to have Ron as a friend at all.

"Harry, maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing," Ron suggested for a third time during Transfiguration. "You don't look so good. You're all pale..."

Harry shook his head, wishing that he hadn't as it throbbed even worse when he did.

"Well you look like you're going to barf... you'll really be in for it if you do it in Potion's..."

"Don't say barf Ron," Harry cautioned him, not even wanting to think about it.

Sure enough, as soon as Transfiguration ended Harry was running down the hall to the nearest boy's bathroom. He barely made it into a stall before what little contents he had in his stomach were coming up. Ron stood outside the stall grimacing at the noises his friend was making inside.

"Seriously mate, Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey can put you right in about a second."

Harry emerged from the stall, shaking his head again and wiping his mouth. "No, we can't be late for Potions... he'll add another detention. I can't do anymore detentions Ron. I just can't."

"I don't blame you," he said, holding the door open for his sick friend as they exited the bathroom.

They made it to class just in time, and Ron hoped for Harry's sake that he was done throwing up for the time being. Even Hermione seemed to be worried about Harry's color as they brewed their potions. Harry tried to follow the directions but his head hurt too bad to concentrate properly. He was grateful that Hermione had chosen to sit next to him and Ron today because she had corrected him twice already before he added a wrong ingredient to his cauldron. It was on the third time that Snape marched over and pointed to another table. "Move miss Granger," he ordered angrily. "If Potter is unable to brew a simple cold draught then he is not fit to be here in the first place."

Hermione huffed and moved her supplies to the next table, giving a worried glance back at Harry. Snape was standing there with his arms crossed looking down his nose at Harry as he tried hurriedly to add chopped onions to the simmering brew.

"You did not hand in your homework today Potter. That will be five points from Gryffindor and another detention." He stalked away to give praise to somebody on the other side of the room, and Harry felt like he wanted to cry. How was he going to keep up with his work if he kept having detentions? He didn't think he would be able to handle it tonight at all with his aching head and nausea. What if he threw up on the floor while he was cleaning? He'd really be in for it then.

The rest of the day was a blur and Harry didn't remember much of it except for Ron telling him repeatedly to go see Madam Pomfrey.

"No Ron, I can't," he said yet again as he made his way towards the dungeons after dinner. He hadn't eaten all day, thinking it might help his stomach calm down, but it had only worsened the nausea.

"Well, good luck then. I'll wait up for you in the common room. See if you can't get out of detention early again."

Harry nodded and made for the dungeons. He had trouble navigating the stairs and almost fell twice, barely catching himself. Snape was in his office with the door open.

"I didn't invite you to sit Potter," Snape said just as Harry began to take a seat. Harry stood straight again, wondering if he would fall over because the room was spinning again.

"Sorry sir," he said quietly, looking at his shoes. The soles were almost worn through and there was actually a hole in the top of the left one, making it possible to see his sock. They had been hand-me-downs from some neighbor a couple of years ago. Still Harry was thankful for them however, because if the neighbor hadn't given them to him he would have been stuck wearing Dudley's old oversized shoes.

"Since cleaning floors doesn't seem to be working as a punishment Potter, you'll be cleaning out old potion jars instead. I have a number of jars ready that contained pickled rat brains waiting in the store room."

He pointed out the door and to a door directly across the hall. Harry headed for the door and wondered if he'd find cleaning supplies inside. Maybe if he could figure out how to be a good person then his family might want him someday," he thought as he opened the door across the hall and stepped into the large closet. The jars waiting to be cleaned were sitting out in the middle of the floor, along with a single rag and a small bucket of water.

Immediately he sat down with his back to the door and began cleaning the jars. They smelled awful and he bit his lip hard trying to force the urge to throw up away from himself. Harry wasn't aware of the sweat beaded on his forehead until it began dripping down into his eyes. That was funny, he wasn't working very hard and he didn't feel hot... in fact he felt chilly and wished he had his jacket.

"Potter!" Harry jumped. Apparently he had sat there for a very long time as he thought about how he didn't feel hot at all because now Snape was shouting at him about being a lazy, worthless student again. He picked up another jar and began wiping it out before setting it with the other clean jars.

An hour passed and finally Harry was finished with the disgusting task. He stood up and Snape came over from the office, seeing that he was done.

"Honestly Potter, I don't know how you do it."

Harry's ears perked. Really? Had he done a good enough job? Snape was really giving him a compliment?

"How can you be so lazy and continue to live with yourself? How do you manage to stay alive even Potter? Will you just stop feeding yourself one day too because it's too much work?"

Harry's heart plummeted again. No, not a compliment, just more proof that Harry didn't deserve to be alive. His parents, who looked so loving and perfect in the photo album deserved to be there alive more than he did, and in his heart he knew that they were looking down at him from Heaven disappointed.

"If you honestly think these jars are clean then you can go and wallow in your laziness. In fact, I insist on it Potter. I can't stand to have you in my sight any longer. Get out."

Head low and eyes on the floor Harry left the storeroom. Even trying his hardest wasn't good enough. The jars had looked clean to him, but he was so corrupted he couldn't even tell what clean was anymore. Had he ever been able to? Would he ever be able to know what it was like to be a good, decent person instead of being insolent and lazy? Draco's words came back to him from that morning at breakfast and suddenly Harry couldn't bear to show up in Gryffindor common room. He didn't deserve to be there if he was going to lose them so many points, and the other Gryffindor's now saw him for the bad person he was and didn't want them there anyway.

In a darkened dead end dungeon hallway Harry leaned against a cold wall and sank to the floor intending to sleep there for the night until he could figure out what to do. Maybe the Headmaster would release him and allow him to return to the Dursley's where he couldn't do any more damage and where he couldn't embarrass himself or his parents any more.

Severus Snape sat with his head in his hand as he graded papers. He was finding it hard to concentrate because he couldn't get that wretched Potter brat out of his mind. The stupid little whelp was just like his father, lazy and worthless. When would he learn some work ethic? He'd probably never had to work a day in his life until he got to Hogwarts. The Muggles were like that, letting their children get away with whatever they wanted, and Petunia Dursley was as Muggle as they came.

He looked at his worn watch, thinking that he ought to get a new one... he didn't know why he was so stingy when it came to spending money on himself... God knew he had enough of it after working all these years and never having anybody but himself to spend it on.

Severus sighed as the watch showed him midnight. He detested staying up so late to grade papers, and having Potter there for detention so many nights each week hadn't helped get his papers done. If only the boy would just shape up and stop being such a little prat like his father then he might be able to get some of his grading finished by a decent hour each night.

Deciding to call it a night, Severus turned down the lights and left his office, intending to go to bed but finding that his back was stiff and that he needed to stretch it out before nodding off to sleep, lest it be worse in the morning.

He walked casually down the darkened dungeon corridors, ears perked for any signs of his Slytherins out of bed when they shouldn't be. He didn't hear anything unusual until he rounded a corner in a far part of the dungeons and heard something akin to a whimper. That was certainly unusual. Generally even the Slytherins stayed away from this part of the dungeons because the Bloody Baron lived down here, and they weren't fond of their mascot in the least.

Severus stood and listened for another sound, and after a moment heard the distant whimper again. What on earth was that? Curious and cautious he moved forward down the corridor and down another one after that. Finally he rounded a corner and came upon a small form huddled in the dark on the floor against a wall, crying quietly and hugging its knees. Was it a house elf? The form certain was small enough, although he had never actually seen a house elf cry.

Cautiously he inched forward and reached out to touch the arm of the unknown form in the dark. When his fingers reached the form's shoulder, it jumped and shouted and moved back quickly. "No!"

Severus stood up straight, recognizing the frightened voice. "Potter?" His voice was unintentionally soft, but he had been so surprised to find him there alone in the dark crying.

Harry continued to scoot back until he met the end of the corridor, and hugged his knees again. Snape pulled out his wand and lit the tip to verify that it was indeed Harry Potter sobbing on his dungeon floor.

Perhaps for the first time since they had met he took in the sight of the boy. He didn't look good at all. He had bags under his eyes, his face was pale, and sweat beaded his forehead. He was obviously delirious because he tried to fight Snape as he came closer even though he was nowhere in reach of him.

"No, don't, get away, I'll be good I promise uncle."

"Uncle? I think not."

Harry squinted in the light, trying to focus his eyes, but he only became more confused.

"Please, I'll be good, I swear. Don't hit me again."

Severus frowned, hoping to God the boy hadn't been beaten by one of his Slytherins. "Potter, you're at school. Who has done this to you?" As much as he despised the boy it was his duty as a member of the Hogwart's staff to ensure the safety and well being of all of his students.

Harry shook his head. It figured that the boy would be difficult about it. Severus took another good look at the boy, not seeing any bruises. "Where are you hurt?"

Harry's bottom lip trembled. He was so exhausted and confused that it was easy to be afraid. "I, I'm not, I promise. P, please just leave me alone. I'll be good from now on." He hugged his knees even tighter, having no more room to back away from the man who had given him the injury.

Severus sighed. "I can tell that you're lying. Where are you hurt?"

Harry was sure it was a trick question... the kind that Uncle Vernon always asked just to give him good reason to hurt Harry more when he got the answer wrong. Deciding that if he took too long to answer he might get hit anyway, Harry said timidly, "My head."

"Who has done this?"

Harry shook his head vehemently.

"Why did you not go to the Hospital Wing?" Another shake of the head.

"Potter," he was testing his patience and it was getting on his nerves. He saw Harry's lip tremble again however, and his voice softened again. He finally knelt down to get closer to the boy's level.

"I cannot help if you will not let me." Harry looked away. Obviously the boy was ashamed for some reason that was beyond him. "Who did this?" he asked again, more adamantly.

"Please, please don't make me say it."

Snape's temple was throbbing from the rounds he was having to go with the boy to get simple answers out of him, and it took every ounce of his will not to simply haul Potter to his feet and drag him off to the Hospital wing. "Who was it?" Damned but the boy had better answer quickly because his patience was running out.

Harry mustered what little will he had left as his head continued to spin and looked Snape in the eyes. "You."

Snape took half a step back. Him? How? When had he hurt the boy?

Harry found the expression on his Professor's face curious. He was obviously taken aback. Didn't he remember throwing him across the hall and into the wall?

"You- you threw me into the wall sir," Harry said, voice barely a whisper, although Severus could still hear the small voice shaking.

"I didn't realize... I didn't realize you were hurt. I would have- I didn't know..." he was having trouble finding the right words, which was rare. He had intended to be hard on the brat but never to hurt him. "Is that why you didn't go to see Madam Pomfrey?" Did Harry think that if he got help and told that he would hurt him again? Did he think he had done it on purpose?"

Harry shook his head.

"Why then? You're very sick... you've obviously got a concussion..." Suddenly Harry buried his face in his knees again and sobbed once, his whole body shaking, so Severus stopped talking. Harry mumbled something into his robes but Severus wasn't able to make it out.

"What?"

Harry looked up. "Because I deserved it."

Severus frowned. "Nobody deserves to be hurt. I did not intend to throw you into the wall." Harry shook his head.

"I always deserve it. I'm a rotten, filthy person. I can't ever be good and it would be better off it I just weren't here at all."

He always deserved it? How many times had he been hit or thrown? "Come here." Snape stood up and lifted Harry up from under the armpit. Harry was weak on his feet but managed to stay standing once he was up. Quietly Severus led him up out of the dungeons and to the Hospital Wing. He knew Pomfrey would have a fit when she saw him, but Harry needed a healer, and he wouldn't hid his mistake even if he could.