30

Making Amends

written by Rae Kelly

Lily hadn't really wanted to accept the dinner invitation that Remus and Cissy had extended, but pleading looks from her children had forced her to accept. They missed their godparents and their friends and she really didn't have a reason to keep them away. As she helped Eric dress and dressed Rosie, she tried to come up with a reason not to go. But in the end, she steeled herself and lifted Rosie into her arms and Flooed to the Lupin house.

Rosie wiggled to be put down and as soon as her feet hit the ground she threw herself at Draco, knocking her friend over in her enthusiasm. Harry flew past Lily as soon as he stepped through the Floo and he and Teddy soon disappeared down the hall toward the bedrooms. Severus brushed her shoulder
as he crossed the room, taking Zoey from Cissy. He murmured something about finding Remus and left the room with Eric on his heels. Draco looked between the two women and led Rosie from the room, leaving them alone.

"I don't want to talk about it, Cissy," Lily told her long-time friend, not even meeting her eyes.

Cissy sighed. "We don't have to talk now, but we will talk, Lily. You need to talk to someone. Letting this fester is only making things worse and making your family miserable."

"Do you need help with dinner?" Lily asked, changing the subject.

"I'll take it," Cissy replied.

AKB

Severus found Remus out in the little schoolhouse with Tessa. The little girl was helping her father clean the room. Remus caught sight of his best friend and looked down at his daughter. "You may go, Tessa. And please take Eric back to the house to play."

She nodded, going to hug her father before taking her godbrother with her.

"It's not like you to keep one of them over here so late," Severus said, sitting on the small sofa that Remus used while reading stories to his students.

Remus moved to sit beside him. "Tessa showed a bit of the Black stubbornness in class today, so I kept her after to help me clean."

"Punishing her like a teacher and not her father."

"It's not always easy, but having the schoolhouse does help."

Zoey had fallen asleep in her godfather's arms and Severus ran a gentle finger down her plump cheek. "I don't know what to do, Remus," he confessed after a few minutes. "She's shutting me out and pushing me away. The little ones don't understand what is happening but they can feel the tension. And I overheard Harry asking Lily if she and I were going to get divorced like she and James did. I don't want that, Remus."

"You still love her." It was a statement and not a question.

"I never stopped loving her. Even when she was married to James. I only dated Medea to try and stop loving her, but I knew after only a couple of dates that there was no one for me buy Lily." Severus sighed deeply. "What if she does decide she wants a divorce? I don't want Rosie or Eric to go through what Harry has. Though that has gotten much better since James was aged back. Harry doesn't remember any other way of life, but he's strong. But Eric and Rosie are different. Eric is so sensitive and I'm almost positive that Rosie's a bloody Empath."

"She told Draco that you and Lily were sad," Remus told his best friend. "I'm not sure when she told him. They haven't seen each other in a few weeks."

"My heart is breaking, Remus. The woman that I love...that means the world to me...is - I don't even know what she's thinking anymore. She won't talk to me. She won't let me touch her...most of the time we don't even sleep in the same room..."

"Why don't you let Cissy and I keep the kids for a couple days?" Remus offered. "Then you two can talk without worrying about the kids overhearing."

"She's not talking to me," Severus responded.

"Then back her into a corner until she talks. Or bully her into talking. You can't let this come between you, Sev. You can't let this destroy your family."

The Potions Master sighed. "It can't make it any worse."

AKB

Dinner was strained and as soon as possible the children escaped to the bedrooms, taking Rosie and Zoey with them. Both men mumbled excuses and left the house, both Apparating away, though they headed in different directions. Severus was going back to his flat to pack clothes for the children while Remus went to Hogwarts.

Cissy cast a ward on the kitchen that would allow sound in, but not out. "We are going to talk, Lily. You aren't going to put me off any longer." Lily opened her mouth to protest, but Cissy cut her off. "You've been my best friend since we were eleven years old. We've been through so much together and I love you like a sister. And it's because I love you that I can't let you go on like this. Your family is miserable. I don't know everything that happened when you two went to the conference, but I do know that Severus adores you. He still adores you, no matter what happened, and your pushing him away is slowly killing him. You need to talk to him and work this out. For the sake of your children and your marriage."

Lily hung her head. "You don't understand. I acted in anger and I struck him. I broke his nose. When I saw him with her, I thought he was James."

"Your mind was being controlled by that harpy," Cissy told her, squeezing her hand. "It wasn't your fault, sweetie, and Sev doesn't blame you."

"What if it happens again? What if it is one of my children next time?"

"I can't promise you that no one else will try to invade your mind, Lil, but you will do nothing but make everyone miserable if you push them away because something might happen."

There was a knock at the door and they looked up to see James and Remus standing in the doorway. After a moment of hesitation, James moved to sit on Lily's other side, turning his chair to face her. "Remus told me what has been happening. Though Harry had told me some.

"Lily...what I did to you was wrong. And before this last year I would never have even thought to apologize...and I should have come before now to do so. I hurt you very badly, and not just with my sleeping around. I never paid attention to you or the things that interested you." He took a deep breath. "I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you the way I did, Lily, and I hope that one day you can forgive me."

She put her face in her hands and burst into tears. Until he had said the words she hadn't realized how badly she had needed to hear them. "I thought he was you and I hurt him," she sobbed.

"Oh, sweetheart," Cissy whispered, rubbing her best friend's back.

"Lily, Sev loves you," James told her. "He's not going to let a little broken nose change that. Go home and talk to him. Because not talking to him is hurting him worse than the broken nose."

Remus walked over and rested his hands on her shoulders. "Cissy and I are going to keep the pups for the weekend. You and Sev just focus on each other and your marriage."

AKB

Lily stepped into the quiet flat and after a moment's hesitation, went in search of her husband. She found him sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. "Sev," she whispered, moving to sit beside him. When he lifted his head, she could see all the hurt, pain and exhaustion, both physical and emotional, in his eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but he stopped her.

"Please, Lily…just let me say my piece. I did date Medea years ago. It was right after you married James and I needed a distraction…a way to soothe the loneliness I was feeling. But I never loved her, Lily. Never told her that I did or even hinted at it. I was trying to make up my mind about her when I found out about her mind control gift. That made up my mind for me because I can't abide people who abuse their powers." He reached out and took her left hand in his. "I meant what I said the day I put this ring on your finger. 'Til death do us part.' I don't believe in divorce, Lily, so I have no intention of leaving you. Ever. For any reason whatsoever. You are stuck with me until one of us dies. Understand?"

She merely nodded, blinking back tears.

"I love you, Lily, more than anything. I have loved you since that day in the park when we were eight years old and I will continue loving you until I take my last breath."

With a sob, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled her onto his lap and held her close. "I'm so sorry, Sev," she cried. "I didn't trust myself after she caused me to break your nose and I didn't realize that I was hurting you even worse with my silent treatment."

He covered her lips with his finger. "You are forgiven, beloved." He ran his fingers through her hair. "Tomorrow morning after we talk to the kids and let them know that everything is going to be alright, I want us to talk to Cissy and Andy about a Mind Healer. I think it would be a good idea for you to have a couple of sessions with someone who specializes in mind control victims. And if it will make you feel better, we'll both take some anger management classes."

"That sounds like a good idea," she replied.

"Don't shut me out again, Lil. Promise me that you'll talk to me…and won't shut me out again.'

"I promise. I love you, Sev, so very much."

"I love you too," he said, tilting her face up for a kiss. He stood with Lily still in his arms. "And I intend to spend the rest of the night showing you just how much I love and adore you," he whispered in her ear as he carried her toward their bedroom.

She pulled his head down, pressing her lips to his.

AKB

It wasn't until the next afternoon that the Snapes returned to the Lupin cottage. Remus and Cissy caught sight of their friends and smiled at each other. They took their children to visit their Aunt Andy, leaving the Snape family alone. Lily and Sev gathered their children into the sitting room with the younger two sitting on their parents' laps and Harry tucked between them.

Lily kissed each of her children in turn before speaking. "Mummy has caused some trouble at our house because she was upset about something and wouldn't talk to Da about it. I finally talked to Da about it last night and we've worked everything out and with some time, everything will be better. I am very sorry for all the trouble I caused and I hope that all three of you will forgive me for being so horrible."

"Don't do that again, Mum," Harry said, leaning against her. "We were all really worried. I don't want you and Da to get a divorce, like you and Dad did."

Sev ran his fingers through his son's unruly hair. "You don't ever have to worry about that, buddy. That was one of the things we talked about last night. And we both agreed that we would never get a divorce."

"Good," Harry replied with a firm nod. "We forgive you, Mum."

She kissed the top of his head. "Thank you, Harry."