“Wheeee!” Severus yelled at the top of his lungs as he sped up. He circled above the castle roof and yelled again. He was immensely happy. Somewhere deep in his mind he was aware the feeling of pure gleefulness was induced by the Cheering Drug Dumbledore had slipped in his goblet of wine at dinner, but he didn’t care. He laughed as the wind whipped through his dark hair as he flew through the clouds. He sped up again. Potter really had a wonderful broomstick, the lucky brat. And what fun it had been to steal it from Gryffindor dormitory!

“What the hell?” Harry growled. He had gone to his dorm to retrieve his Firebolt, to find his things in a mess – a worse mess than usual, anyway – and his broomstick gone! He looked under his bed, just in case, and suddenly he heard shouting in the common room. Dean had just arrived with unbelievable news – they had seen Snape flying! Harry narrowed his eyes. The bat was flying, and Harry’s broom was missing! He ran to the Quidditch pitch, just to see Snape dive in a rather suicidal manoeuvre. What a speed! Harry’s respect in the teacher rose spectacularly.

Snape nearly landed, only to make a three-fifty turn and speed up to the sky again. Harry was completely flabbergasted. Not by the manoeuvre, but by Snape’s laugh. The usually-sour wizard circled the pitch and then, yelling like a madman, he flew towards Harry. Top speed. Snape wasn’t slowing down at all, as if he wanted to crash into Harry. Harry ducked. He could feel the breeze caused by the broom ruffling his hair. Had the man gone completely crazy? Strange; Harry would bet that if Snape turned crazy, he would start poisoning people all around, not crashing into them.

“Hahaaaaa!” Severus laughed as he flew towards the stars. Potter’s expression was the sweetest cherry on top of the sundae. He briefly pondered playing with the brat a bit longer, but then he decided against it. There were other people in the castle whom it would be fun to drive around the bend. Severus surely ought to pay back the Headmaster for dosing him with the potion. Then there was Minerva, of course, the old moggy. Most of all, though, Severus decided he should have fun at Umbridge’s expense. The toad had been corrupting Severus’ Slytherins for far too long!

Severus landed, and handed Potter his broomstick back, informing the boy, “Thanks for sharing, brat. Feel free to skip the next Potions lesson.” He smirked at Potter’s stunned expression and turned towards the castle. He hoped Potter would dare to skip the class! Severus would give him detention for a week, an essay on the theme ‘Why a student shouldn’t be stupid enough to take orders from a person under influence of a potion’ and also take away at least fifty points off Gryffindor. The Slytherins should finally win the cup this year! Severus – for the first time ever – giggled.

Harry quickly pulled on his invisibility cloak and followed Snape into the castle. The man was acting so weird! The Potions teacher headed to the dungeons, and muttering a password, opened the door next to the Potions classroom. Harry scarcely managed to slip in, before the door closed. He hid in a corner, watching Snape light a fire and in a few minutes he started to brew something smelling suspiciously of lemon. A quick spell later and the brew divided itself into neat drops. Lemon drops! Harry realised. Snape sniffed one and then put them into a small box, grinning.

Whilst he had been working on the special batch of Albus’ favourite sweets, Severus had thought up a good plan on how to get under Umbridge’s skin. He grinned evilly. Now he only needed to think up something nice for Minerva. He quickly heated another cauldron. This time he had a much more complicated potion to make – called Strength in Truth. It was his own invention and Severus had carefully kept it secret. It prompted the person who had ingested it to inform everyone about plans and secrets which concerned them. It acted like Veritaserum without needing to ask questions.

“Dammit!” Harry thought angrily. What had appeared to be a good idea before now seemed like a serious lack of judgement on his part. He had been standing in the corner of Snape’s lab for two hours now and his legs were aching horribly. Snape was cheerfully brewing a potion, adding countless ingredients and humming happily. Humming! Who worked well into the small hours of the night and enjoyed it? For all Harry knew, the insufferable bat would keep brewing till morning! And Harry had no means of getting out. He carefully sat down, trying not to make any noise.

Severus bottled the Strength in Truth and checked the time. He yawned and quickly decided to make his attack on Minerva quick-to-prepare in favour of getting to bed early. The prank wasn’t very original, of course, but it would do. Before he left the lab, he let Potter out – really, had the brat thought Severus was deaf as a post? – taking fifty points off Gryffindor, he said scathingly, “I hope you learned a thing or two by watching the master, brat!” Severus would have loved to lock Potter in for the night, but who knew what the brat would destroy?

Severus, yawning, summoned his owl, Herodes, and gave him Albus’ lemon drops to be delivered at breakfast. He knew the man wouldn’t wait to take one! Then he summoned a school owl and sent an express delivery order to the Magical Menagerie in Diagon Alley. Pranks finished, Severus retired, humming. It was great: flying, and getting the better of Potter, the sneaker. Severus had had the best fun in years today; and also – Slytherin house now had better chances to win the cup. Breakfast tomorrow would bring more entertainment, too. Maybe Severus could dose himself with the Cheering Drug again?

Harry moodily plopped eggs onto his plate. Last night had sucked! The post owls started arriving, and everyone stared at an enormous box delivered to McGonagall. She seemed as surprised as anyone and opened the package. The box read, in huge letters, “The Biggest Box of Cat Food – Will Satisfy Even The Greediest Pets”. Students and teachers alike roared with laughter. Dumbledore plopped a lemon drop into his mouth, grinning, and wanted to comment on McGonagall’s delivery. Suddenly, donkey’s ears grew on Dumbledore’s head, and he let out a vociferous bray instead. Harry glanced at Snape – who was grinning evilly.

Harry suddenly noticed that, apart from grinning – for some reason it was very different from Snape’s usual smirking – Snape was also very inconspicuously moving his hand towards Umbridge’s cup of tea. Then Snape’s hand retreated again. Harry blinked. He hadn’t seen Snape doing anything untoward, but honestly, there must have been a reason? Harry’s respect for the spy-for-light was boosted. If the man was a thief, he could steal the crown from the Queen’s head! Harry glanced at the Potions master’s face, but it – unsurprisingly – revealed nothing. McGonagall managed vanish Dumbledore’s donkey ears, and everyone started on their breakfast again.

“Bloody hell!” Harry laughed when he heard Ron’s typical reaction. Bloody hell indeed. Harry felt like singing. Or kissing Snape. Whatever the man slipped into Umbridge’s tea had prompted her to declare some very interesting facts. There was no way she could stay at Hogwarts any longer, as she had declared Malfoy had planted her at the school just to sabotage Defence classes, to turn as many students as possible into the next Death Eaters, and to break Harry Potter. All of that for one reason – to be admitted into Voldemort’s ranks, who had apparently refused her in the summer!

Severus bemusedly opened his fifty-second parcel. It turned out to be the thirty-sixth one of chocolate. He added it to the other unwrapped sweets and the more appreciated army of bottles of alcohol on the table. Some of the gifts were signed and some were not, but none of them were, to Severus’ surprise, poisoned. Someone had let slip he had tampered with Umbridge’s drink. Apparently, by getting rid of her, he had become a popular man. Severus poured himself a glass of wine and shook his head over the strangest gift – a t-shirt that read ‘Viva the Great Banisher!’