-II-

"Because you are a skinny-"

Severus had his wand out in a second and held it in Karlay's direction. "I'm not!"

"Severus, wand away! Five points for threatening a fellow student with you wand!" Alastor stated sternly.

"They were bossing me around!" Severus protested, but put his wand away.

"That's what older students do, Severus," Harry interfered for the first time. "Former Professor or not, you wanted to be treated like all the others and that's how it is. We get pushed and bossed around by the older ones. Now you know why I didn't want to be a second year again."

"Hmpf," Severus said, protesting, but it made sense, and he had not seen it this way before.

"I never guessed I would say this, but thanks, Potter," Karlay said. They were close to the Great Hall now. "So we'll see you at four in the afternoon, Severus?"

Severus groaned his agreement and was happy when the two Slytherins jumped down the last stairs and ran to the Great Hall.

-II-

Severus had eaten half of his meal when the post owls came into the Great Hall. Surprised, Severus took the letter that a big black eagle hawk owl had dropped on his plate. Good thing Severus had finished his strawberry marmalade roll a second ago. Holding his breath, Severus opened the letter. He had no idea who it could be from.

Dear Uncle Sev or just Sev?

I really don't know how to address you now. I only have a little information about your current situation from the Slytherins who write me and from Professor McGonagall. She says Professor Moody will contact me soon, but he hasn't had the time until now.

I'm sad that I lost my godfather and that you can't come and visit me like you did before, but I hope we can become friends now. Professor McGonagall said that Professor Moody will speak with me about visiting you, but maybe I will pass my test soon and come back to Hogwarts.

When I heard about those stupid Gryffindorks, I was very mad at the Slytherins. Why didn't they keep an eye on you? They will hear my opinion about this not only through the Howlers I sent them yesterday evening, but personally, as well, as soon as I'm back. That won't happen again!

I don't know how much you can remember. Professor McGonagall said that you will be able to remember me and all the other people you knew before. Only a few old memories will be placed in the back of your head. It's a bit hard to understand, but I guess it is even harder for you to understand it. So I won't mention it again. I just wanted you to know that you are safe with the remaining Slytherins. You had a good influence on most of us, and your private meetings with those who didn't want to follow our parents changed us. Those you couldn't convince or speak to because it was too dangerous have been removed from the school. I gave Dumbledore a list of those who should be watched closely in their foster families or with their relatives.

I hope I can come back soon! I can't wait to see you.

Take care of yourself and let the Slytherins keep an eye on you. They say you are in bad condition.

Why did you let Dumbledore re-Sort you? You are a Slytherin! Well, we can talk about this when I'm back.

I'm glad you are alive. Hit Potter for me because I'm sure he is the one responsible for the potion accident. Dumb Gryffindor. I told you not to let him near a cauldron, but you didn't want to listen.

Okay, take care, Sev!

Draco

Severus felt bad that he had forgotten about his weekly meetings with Draco. The events of the last days were too confusing. I need to ask Alastor to visit Draco, Severus told himself mentally.

"Severus, come on; finish your breakfast," Oliver demanded. "We need to leave for Charms soon!"

Severus groaned but obeyed.

"Hey, Sev, what about Quidditch? Do you want to try to play on our team? You could still join the reserves' training," Frederick offered.

"With these?" Severus asked, frustrated, showing him his hands. "And you need magic for flying!"

Frederick raised his eyebrow. "You still have your magic, you just have to relearn and heal a bit more. Stop the self-loathing. You could try. As a Seeker, you don't need to use your hands very often. Which position did you play in school?"

"Chaser," Severus muttered.

"Shall I speak with Madam Pomfr-?"

"No!" Severus exclaimed loudly. "Ehm...sorry, no. I don't think I should start flying yet." Severus blushed, embarrassed for shouting at the seventh year.

"Just let me know when you change your mind. I'm Quidditch Captain this year!" Frederick said proudly and patted his chest.

Amy rolled her eyes and grinned at Severus.

Severus wondered what Harry would do. Would they still let him play Seeker? And he had been captain. "Do you know if Harry is still Gryffindor's captain?"

"No, Weasley is now, but Harry is still the Seeker," Frederick said with his mouth full of cereal.

"Really, Frederick? You are unbelievable," Amy said, disgusted.

"And you love me for it," Frederick teased and leaned closer for a kiss.

Severus drew a face, and Oliver giggled.

Amy stood up and gave her boyfriend a cuff on his head. "I really don't know why I'm still your girlfriend."

"Because you love me, darling," Frederick shouted in a sing-song after her retreating form.

Alicia shook her head, and Oliver still giggled.

"Women," Frederick said, sighing.

Alicia looked disapprovingly at Frederick and then at Oliver. "At least Severus is mature here. I'm very glad you are in our house now, Severus!" Alicia said and stood up. With a last glare at Oliver, she left the Great Hall.

"Women," Oliver repeated Frederick's declaration. "Come on, get ready or Flitwick will have us in detention for being late."

A careful look in the direction of the head table showed Severus that Alastor was watching him. Sighing he finished his roll and drained his glass of apple juice. "I'm coming later," Severus said and stood up.

"Oh, no you don't, Severus. We already agreed that you will let us keep an eye on you," Frederick said and threw his napkin on his plate.

Severus groaned. "I just need to go somewhere before class."

"Then I will join you," Frederick said, not realizing Severus' blush.

Severus gaped, feeling all eyes on him. Angrily, he stormed in the direction of the door without saying anything. Frederick was close on his heels.

"You must be joking," Severus protested when Frederick followed him into the lavatory.

"What? I need to pee as well," Frederick said innocently while he chose one of the urinals to relieve himself.

Groaning, Severus took the one farthest from Frederick. He hissed when he heard the bell ring. He was late for Charms now. "Damn!"

"Use your old colleague bonus, Sev," Frederick said cheerfully when they reached the Charms classroom, obviously not caring that he would be late for whatever class he had.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Severus muttered, not looking up when he entered the classroom.

"Just take your seat, Mr. Snape. Over there with Mr. Potter," Professor Flitwick said friendly. Oliver had excused Severus before the class had started.

"Are you okay?" Harry whispered, worried.

"Yes, I just wanted to prevent one of those lovely accidents James spoke about," Severus explained. Harry did not know about his accident in the bathroom with James and Maria, but he knew about James' prognosis about his bladder control.

"Oh," Harry stated.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Snape, please pay attention!" Professor Flitwick scolded them.

Groaning, Severus pulled his Charms book out of his bag. This class was frustrating. It cost Severus a lot of energy to manage the simple Cleaning Spell they learned today. At least Harry did not manage it as well. Severus knew that it was bad to feel relieved seeing that Harry also had problems, but he could not stop how he felt about it.

"Mr. Potter, please stay after class," Professor Flitwick instructed shortly before the bell rang to end the class.

"What's your next class?" Severus asked Harry.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts. Yours?" Harry asked.

"Herbology," Severus grumbled.

Harry chuckled. "Then be careful that she doesn't kiss you in front of the whole class."

"Very funny," Severus uttered, annoyed. "I'll see you in Care of Magical Creatures."

"Yeah, see ya," Harry said and went over to Professor Flitwick's desk.

"Harry, you aren't helping Severus by pretending to not be able to perform a spell," Professor Flitwick scolded him when all the students had left the room.

Harry blushed. "I don't know what-"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Harry. Severus' magical core is damaged, but he isn't stupid. What do you think will happen if he finds out that you are pretending to have trouble?" Flitwick sighed. "Severus can learn all the spells; he just needs more concentration and self-confidence. Practice with him in the afternoon. That would give him more confidence, and maybe it will be easier for him to concentrate when it's just you two. I don't want to see you pretending to not be able to cast a spell again. Am I understood?" Flitwick asked.

Harry nodded, ashamed.

"Good, then hurry or you will be late for your next class. Please tell my students to come in," Filius instructed while lifting the Locking Charm on the door.

"Thank you, Professor," Harry mumbled on his way out.

/

Severus was surprised at how much he loved Herbology. It had a lot to do with Potions, but during his first time as a student, he did not see it like that and, therefore, did not enjoy it. Now everything was different. He liked to feel the soil in his hands as it cooled his aching fingers. It was also very relaxing to plant Hollyplants. Severus almost forgot everything around him.

The Slytherins were eying him curiously. Severus preferred the older Slytherins because the second years seemed to still see the Professor in him. Oliver had tried to distract him a few times because he hated Herbology and hoped that Severus would talk with him during their planting time. Soon he realized that Severus liked planting and left to talk with some other classmates. After a while, Severus realized a red haired girl close to him who was engrossed in planting as much as he was. He racked his brain to remember her name.

The red haired girl smiled at him, and Severus realized that he had stared at her for some time. "Sorry," Severus said, blushing. "I just...I...I was trying to remember your name."

"I'm new. My parents came here this summer after You-Know-Who was defeated. We lived in the States for the last five years. So you don't know me," she said and smiled again as she brushed the hair out of her eyes with her mulch-covered gloves.

Severus stared, fascinated, at the soil that remained at her forehead. "You...you..." He was at loss for words and just pointed at her forehead.

"Oh, I don't care. I see you like Herbology as much as I do. Would you like to join us in the Herbology club? We meet each Friday at three. Oh, I'm Jessica." She offered him her hand after pulling it out of the glove.

"Severus," he said and offered his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well, Severus. It must be odd to be in classes with you former students," Jessica said.

"I hardly remember them. I just see them as classmates. It's as if they never were my students. It's just odd with special ones I knew better." Severus was surprised that he felt comfortable speaking with her. Jessica was really nice, and Severus liked that she had not known him as a teacher. "I think it would be great to join your club. I will ask Professor Sprout after class."

"Really? That's great! We hardly find students who like Herbology. We have a special section in Greenhouse three for us. Neville Longbottom is leading our group when Professor Sprout isn't around. Do you know him? He's a sixth year Gryffindor."

"Yes, I know him," Severus grumbled. He could remember him very well. Severus pressed his hands against his head, memory after memory flashed through his head and he could not stop them. He also could not stop the emotions that overcame him; frustration, guilt, annoyance, helplessness...

"Severus? Severus, what's wrong?" Jessica asked worriedly, touching his shoulder.

Her touched pulled him out of the attack like Harry had been able to. He looked shocked at her, panting heavily.

"Come, Severus, a bit fresh air will do you good," Professor Sprout, who suddenly stood behind him, said close to his ear and helped him up. Outside the greenhouse, Pomona instructed, "Lift your arms up and breathe deeply."

Severus looked shocked at her.

Pomona sighed and grabbed Severus' arms to lift them up. "Really, Severus, you sometimes make things really complicated. Now breathe in...and out...in...and out...that's it, my boy."

Severus really felt much better after following her instructions, but he felt embarrassed as usual. He glanced at the windows of the castle and hoped nobody saw him with his hands held up in front of his teacher.

"Stop that!" Pomona scolded him and tapped his head. "Or you will get yourself in another attack. Concentrate on your breathing. I have a Concealing Charm on you, so no one can see you."

Severus looked puzzled at her and said, "When?"

"When we stepped out of the greenhouse, sweetie. Now concentrate on breathing and keep your arms up!" she commanded when Severus tried to put his arms down.

After two minutes, she allowed him to drop his arms and after another minute they went back into the greenhouse. Severus was relieved that she did not ask him to tell her what had caused the attack.

"Are you okay?" Jessica asked, and Alicia and Oliver came over as well.

"I'm fine. Sometimes those attacks happen. It's a way for my mind to handle the confusing memories and decide which one should stay in the front of my mind. The rest is still there, just farther away." Seeing their puzzled faces, he added, "It's hard to explain, and I don't understand it completely myself."

"No problem. The main thing is that you feel okay," Jessica said kindly.

"Yeah, mate," Oliver said and patted Severus on his back. Alicia just smiled at him.

"Back to work, kids. There are still many more to plant and we have still twenty minutes left," Pomona said and ushered Oliver and Alicia back to their places.

"Come on, let's talk with Professor Sprout about the club," Jessica said excitedly and guided Severus over to the professor.

"Miss Watson, Mr. Snape, how can I help you?" Pomona asked cheerfully.

"Severus would like to join our club," Jessica said happily.

"Oh, really, Severus?" Pomona exclaimed, forgetting to call Severus by his family name in the presence of other students.

"Yes, I like learning more about plants and herbs, and I like gardening. It's good to know what you use for potions and how to grow it," Severus explained.

Jessica giggled beside him, and when he looked puzzled at her, she said, "It's not an interview, you know?"

Severus glared at her, but when she just giggled more, he looked at Pomona. The older woman smiled kindly at him. "I'm glad you are interested in my class and the club. I'll see you on Friday at three then."

On their way back to the castle, Severus asked the now calmer Jessica if he would see her in the common room at four when he visited the Slytherins.

"I'm not amongst those they chose for you to be friends with," Jessica said sadly.

"They chose who should become my friends?" Severus asked, shocked.

"Yes, Karl and Corey are the ones they chose for becoming your closest friends. They are both good in Potions and Quidditch. They made a kind of interview for the second and third years yesterday. All boys could apply for the position as your friend," Jessica said, disgusted at their methods.

Severus fumed inwardly. He thought about not going to the meeting at all, but then he remembered Draco's letter and did not want to disappoint him. He was surprised that he did not have an attack while thinking about Draco. Maybe his feelings and memories of him were not so confusing as so many others. Severus slowly noticed a kind of pattern in the attacks. Maybe his mind was confused about all the memories that were influenced by his behavior as a Death Eater. Severus remembered that he often was confused by his own thoughts when he was an adult. Sometimes he could not differ between the emotions that where caused by the mask he had to wear as a spy and his true feelings. Reality and false emotions and actions had started to blend in with each other, and Severus had not been able to keep them separated. This confusion was causing the attacks. At least, that was what Severus thought about it. That's why I didn't have an attack when I thought about Draco. With Draco, I never feigned anything. I could trust him not to tell his parents about anything I told him, Severus remembered.

"Okay, I have to go over to the Slytherin table. Maybe we can meet another time. At the latest, I will see you on Friday," Jessica said and interrupted Severus' brooding. He had not even realized that they had reached the Great Hall.

Before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed her hand when she turned to leave. Shocked, he let it go again when she turned around. Nervously, he ran a hand through his hair. "Ehm...I just wanted to tell you that I choose my friends on my own."

Jessica smiled from one ear to the other. "That's fantastic, Severus. See you!" She waved good bye and went over to her house table.

Frederick whistled when Severus sat down but got another cuff from his girlfriend for it. "What? Am I not allowed to congratulate Severus on his choice of date?"

Severus spat his apple juice over the table. "Date?" he exclaimed, shocked, and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Don't listen to him, Severus," Amy said and waved her wand to vanish the mess Severus had made.

"It's no date!" Severus protested.

"Whatever you say," Frederick said, grinning at his buddies.

Oliver just looked puzzled at him, not understanding what could be so interesting about the girl for Severus to have talked with her for so long.