-II-

Kingsley did not know what to say and looked at Remus for help.

"Severus, you just need time. It's normal that you have problems during the first weeks. You need to be patient. Your magical system needs to rebuild itself."

"Then you should all leave me alone and not force me to attend classes."

Remus shook his head sadly. "But attending classes will help you to learn to use magic and that helps your magical system to rebuild quicker."

"I don't care. I hate going to school."

"I think we will leave you to alone now, Severus," Remus said. "Try to not think too much about it. Things will become easier in a few weeks." He turned to Harry. "I'm glad to be your godfather, Harry. Come over this weekend. We could go flying."

Harry smiled and nodded.

-II-

"I hate Friday mornings."

"You hate all mornings, Sev."

"Hmpf."

When they came into the living room, Alastor was raking the fire. "Ah, boys. Poppy is already at work. Remember that we need to leave for the Ministry at five. Severus, come back as soon as the Herbology Club meeting is over."

"Yes," Severus said, still grumpy.

"Bad morning again? I'm sure Poppy left you and Harry some hot chocolate beside your nutrient potion in the kitchen."

Severus rolled his eyes.

"Don't do that, Severus. Oh, before I forget, I know we promised to make your old room a study room for the two of you, but now that Radgarid and Hamid are coming, I hoped you would agree to give the room to Radgarid, and Hamid will get the small guestroom. What do you two say?"

"He is creepy." Severus covered his mouth after that had slipped past.

Alastor raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"I...I remember him. He was odd." Severus blushed under Alastor's gaze.

"He is an old friend. You hardly got to know him, Severus. He asked to stay here with us. I would feel bad asking him to get a different room at Hogwarts instead." Alastor looked seriously at Severus.

Severus pulled a face. "But he stays for the whole year. It's awkward enough to live in this form here, and now there will be one or even two more people looking oddly at me."

"Severus, Hamid doesn't even know you, and Radgarid will not look oddly at you as long as you don't behave oddly."

Severus sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Why do you even ask if it is already decided?"

"Who says it's decided, Severus?" Alastor checked the clock. "We don't have time to discuss this now. Let's talk again this evening."

"If I'm not in Azkaban by then," Severus muttered on his way to the kitchen. He flinched when a hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

"Is this your normal morning grumpiness or is something troubling you?" Alastor asked, not lifting his hand from Severus shoulder.

"I'm all right," Severus protested and tried to get rid of Alastor's hand.

"Stop that, Severus, and look at me when you talk to me."

Severus sighed and obeyed.

"What's wrong?" Alastor asked, worried.

"Nothing. I need to drink my potion, Alastor."

Alastor looked at Severus for another moment, but then let him go. "We will speak later."

"What are you doing? The Charms classroom is down that hall."

"Who cares? I'm not going." Severus tried to go up the stairs, but Harry grabbed his arm.

"What are you talking about? Do you want to get in trouble? It's bad enough you didn't do the homework, but if they find out you skipped class, they will be furious."

"Like you said, I don't have my homework so I will be in trouble anyway."

"Stop being stupid." Harry forcefully pulled Severus with him to the classroom. "You heard Remus. You just needed to be patient, and then your magic will be back."

"That's just a stalling tactic. Nobody thinks I will ever be able to use magic correctly again. Harry, I can feel it. Nothing works. My hands are crap, my magic is crap, and I can't even regain my magic like everyone else. Going to classes is torture."

"I never considered my class to be torture, Mr. Moody. I think we should talk about this after class," Professor Flitwick said from behind Severus.

"There is nothing to talk about," Severus said rebelliously.

"We will see after class, Mr. Moody. Now, please go into the classroom." Professor Flitwick gestured Severus to the open door. His small body was blocking Severus' escape route by a magical power that surrounded the Charms professor invisibly.

Severus glared at Professor Flitwick, but he obeyed.

At the beginning of the class, the professor asked for their essays. As he did not get one from Severus, he looked questioningly at him.

"Ehm, he forgot it at home, but we did it together yesterday, sir," Harry said.

"No, I didn't do it." Severus glared daggers at Harry. Then he turned to the professor, his face still in an angry grimace. "I didn't do it because it's useless."

The students around them were dead silent and some gaped at him.

"We will speak about that after class as well, Mr. Moody."

Severus glared. He hated that Flitwick was not reacting to his behavior like he had hoped he would.

After class, Harry threw worried looks at Severus. Professor Flitwick called Oliver over to him and gave him a note for Professor Lupin about Severus' absence in his next class.

"Let's go into my office, Severus," Filius said when they were finally alone.

The moment the small wizard addressed Severus by his first name, he felt bad for his behavior. With his head hanging, he followed his former co-worker.

"What was that all about, Severus?" Professor Flitwick asked when they were seated in his office. "Severus, please talk with me," the professor added when Severus just stared at his hands.

"It's useless. I know I will never be able to use magic like I used to before. I wish I had never come back after that day the Dark Lord tortured me."

"Severus, you are alive. Alastor and Poppy love you like a son, and Harry loves you like a brother. You are a wizard, and you will learn to use magic. Maybe not like before, but you will learn. You just need to be patient, which is feature you always lacked."

"You are lying. Look, it doesn't work!" Severus grabbed his wand and swung it around wildly.

Filius took Severus' hand in both his smaller ones. "Stop, Severus." He looked sadly at the boy. "Your magic channels are still rebuilding. It's normal that you can't use your wand like you wish you could. Still, it is important for you to go to school and learn. I know you pressure yourself too much and that you feel embarrassed in front of your classmates for not being able to use magic perfectly, but you need the practice!"

"I can practice at home." Severus looked away miserably.

Flitwick shook his head sadly. "That would not be enough. All the magic around you is affecting you. The more you are around students the same age, the better. Their magic is stimulating your magic core to build new channels and reconnect the old destroyed ones."

Severus bit his lip. They had no idea how frustrating this was, how useless and helpless he felt.

"Can I trust you to go to Defense Against the Dark Arts now, Severus?"

Severus nodded. He wanted to get out of the room. He could not stand it. He was helpless against his professors who thought he was able to do this and that it was helping him.

"Then go. I await your essay on Tuesday, Severus."

"Yes, sir."

Severus went to Defense, and he tried to work hard for Jessica. She made him feel a little better.

The meeting at the Ministry went without problems. All of Harry's and Severus' fears were unjust. The day even ended very happily because Severus was informed that he would be able to spend Saturday afternoon with Draco and Harry was allowed to stay with Remus. Alastor did not try to restart his conversation from that morning and Severus' physical therapy was not as bad as the other times. Best of all, Alastor and Poppy seemed to have no idea about his homework problem and his talk with Filius.

"Potter," Draco sneered at Harry.

"Malfoy," Harry sneered back.

"Boys, behave!" Alastor said warningly. "Severus, you can show Draco your room."

Severus stood awkwardly beside the couch and eyed Draco. When Draco's eyes fell on Severus, he looked stunned at him. "Wow, you look...thin."

Severus rolled his eyes and turned around.

"Hey, woah, Uncle Sev. I'm sorry."

"I'll show you my room," Severus said without turning around.

"It's my room as well," Harry mumbled, but Alastor's hand on his shoulder made him stop.

"Remus is waiting for you in his quarters. Be back at five."

Harry nodded and stepped into the fireplace.

"So...how shall I address you?"

"Severus, I think."

"I was allowed to call you Sev as an adult."

Severus rolled his eyes and flopped down on his bed. "If you insist."

Draco looked around. "Nice room. You have to share it with Potter?"

"Call him Harry."

"But he's Potter."

"He is my brother."

"He is not."

"He is." Severus glared at Draco, but then remembered how close he was to Draco. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I know, you asked me several times before to stop that behavior. It's just weird, and hey, he is responsible for all this trouble, isn't he?"

"No, I should have payed more attention."

Draco snorted. "Typical that you blame yourself." He sat down on Harry's bed. "So how are you?"

Severus was surprised at how good it felt to talk with Draco, and so he told him everything. From his problems in class over what happened with the Gryffindors and his fear of never being able to perform decent spells."

"If Flitwick says it helps to practice and be around magic, I think you should do it. You'll be able to get your magic back faster. When I'm back here, I'll help you. We can learn together."

Severus groaned. "You don't understand. You are like them. I know...I can feel that I won't be able to perform magic correctly ever again. Do you know how it feels to try and do magic and feel it suddenly stop before it gets to your wand? It's scary."

"I can imagine, Sev, but trusting their judgment is everything we can do right now."

"Great, you are one of them."

"I don't want to go to school anymore!" Severus yelled at Alastor and did not see the fireplace flare green. "I'm a useless freak. Here, look!" He waved his wand like he had done in Filius' office. He had used the same arguments during his fifteen minute discussion with Poppy and Alastor about his ongoing attending of classes. "There is nothing right about my magical system. It's destroyed. I'm a Squib. A useless piece of scum."

"That's enough!" Alastor bellowed. His eyes were sparkling with anger and only Severus' flinch made them soften.

A throat was cleared and suddenly all the attention was on the two persons in front of the fireplace. One was an old man of Alastor's figure and the other was a very thin boy of Harry's height with dark skin and dark hair. His eyes were almost black. "Is this a bad time?" the white-haired man asked.

Alastor breathed deeply. "No, Radgarid, Severus and I had just a little dispute. I didn't think you would come so early."

"We could come back later," the old man offered, fixing Severus with his eyes so the boy fidgeted nervously.

"Don't be silly, Radgarid," Poppy said and went over to greet the old wizard and his young charge. "The dispute is already over. Severus knows he has to go to school tomorrow, don't you, Severus?" She looked warningly at Severus, who blushed in embarrassment and anger.

"Severus?" Poppy asked again. Now the warning was not hidden by her tone.

"But-"

"No 'buts,' Severus. You agreed to try it until Christmas."

Severus groaned and let his head hang. "All right."

"Good, now let's all sit down and drink some tea."

Hamid didn't speak much; only when spoken to. Radgarid explained that he was very shy and still had problems finding new friends as he had been very isolated before Radgarid had taken him under his wing. Hamid was an orphan.

Harry was fascinated by the silent boy. Something was very interesting about him, but Harry could not put a finger on what it was.

Radgarid, meanwhile, was staring at Severus more and more, and Severus felt very uncomfortable. "Do you still remember me, Severus?"

Severus nodded, but did not dare to look at the old man.

"Then why are you scared of me?"

Severus gulped and blushed even more. "Can I go to my room?" Severus asked and looked at Alastor.

"Radgarid was asking you a question, Severus. Since when do you not have manners?" Alastor asked, confused.

"Don't be so harsh on him, Alastor." Radgarid stopped Alastor from making Severus even more uncomfortable. Then he looked at Severus. "If you feel uncomfortable in my presence, you can, of course, leave, but as we plan to live here for the school year, I think it would be better if we got rid of any problems you might have with me. We were civil last time I saw you, so I'm a bit surprised at your discomfort now."

"I was just good at hiding my feelings back then," Severus mumbled.

"Ah, I see. So what makes you uncomfortable?"

"You seem to try to read my thoughts."

Radgarid eyed Severus seriously. "Is there something bad I could find in your thoughts?"

Severus gulped again and shyly looked up. Then he shrugged.

"I'm not reading your thoughts, Severus. I'm just fascinated by your magic. Your aura is very unique."

"My magic? You can see magic?" Severus looked hopefully at the old man.

"Of course, I can. I'm an aura reader. I can see a huge magic field around you."

"Really?" Severus heart stopped for a moment. He still had magic? And it was a large amount of magic that intrigued the old wizard? "But... my magic was destroyed."

"No, it's hasn't. Your old system of using your magic is destroyed, but not your magic itself. When I first met you, I could see a great powerful aura, but it was somehow restrained. I wondered if you had put up the restraints yourself. Now they are gone and your aura is clearer. Not as powerful as before, but still magnificent."

Hope. Finally, hope. Severus felt so light, and he felt the corners of his mouth go up without being able to prevent it.

"I fear our journey was a bit tiring. Hamid especially needs rest before his first school day tomorrow. It would be best if we retire."

Poppy showed them there rooms, and Alastor ordered his boys to use the bathroom and get ready for bed as well.