-II-

When the boy had left, Albus turned to Alastor. "I don't want Severus to wander around the castle during his suspension. The house-elves can deliver his meals to your quarters or to the Hospital Wing if you want him there for meals. Harry can supply him with homework."

"He would have been under house arrest anyway, Albus. He will not see any of his friends except for Harry." Alastor's voice cut like a knife through Severus' chest. It was clear he was very angry and disappointed.

"Fine. I think we will meet again after I have spoken with the McConnors."

"Of course," Alastor said, and all the adults stood up. Knowing there was no other choice, Severus followed suit.

-II-

"What happened? They didn't expel you, did they? They can't!" Harry said when the group stepped out of the fireplace.

"Harry, go to your room and let us talk with Severus," Alastor said sternly. He had no idea how Harry already knew about the incident, but then again, the castle had eyes and ears everywhere.

"No! You need to help him, not be mad at him." He could see quiet clearly that Alastor was mad at Severus and that his brother was in for the tongue lashing of his life and maybe even more. Some students had even spoken about expulsion and Azkaban. "Surely it was Greg's fault. Severus would never attack him for nothing."

"We are not speaking with you right now, and if I recall correctly, you were in Gryffindor tower when Severus attacked Mr. McConnor. Now go to your-"

"No! You are our father now! You need to protect him, not being mad at him! I hate you!" The moment it was out, Harry regretted it, but he was so scared that Severus would be sent away. He felt Alastor grab his arm, and only seconds later his applicator was at his lips and he swallowed the potion Alastor was pressing to his mouth. He hadn't even noticed that he really was in need of it. "Now, you will take some time to cool off." Alastor pulled the still dazed Harry with him to the kitchen and placed him in a corner. "I will come back when I'm finished with Severus, and I hope for your own good that you are still with your nose in that corner thinking about what you just said. Then you will have all the time in the world to explain to me why exactly you hate me, Harry." With that, Alastor stormed out of the kitchen, leaving a very miserable boy behind.

"The training with Radgarid is, of course, canceled forever. You have proven to not be responsible enough to learn elemental magic. We cannot take away what you have already learned, but I at least hope you are responsible enough to never use it again. You have soiled Radgarid's good reputation as a master. Any more mistakes like today, and he will be forced to give Hamid away to another master and never be allowed to take a student. We still don't know if McConnor's parents will press charges against Radgarid, so things could still become nasty."

"Alastor," Radgarid said warningly.

"No, he must realize what he has done and what this means for your and Hamid," Alastor said coldly.

"I think he already realizes it," Radgarid said in an attempt to calm his old friend down. Looking at the miserable, crying boy on the couch, he said, "I'm still very disappointed that you didn't stop as soon as you realized what was happening, but I knew the responsibility I took when I accepted you as my student, Severus. I knew something like this could happen."

That did not help. Severus felt so bad, he just wanted to go into his room and hide under his bed. He felt physically sick. It had felt good that Harry had stood behind him without even knowing what happened, but it was just a small comfort. He knew that Poppy's silence meant that she was totally shocked at his behavior. She must be very disappointed, and Alastor was mad like hell. But the worst was Radgarid. He could not understand why someone else was made responsible for his actions. That was even worse than being punished himself.

"I don't want to see you out of your room for the next week except at meals and to use the loo," Alastor said harshly.

"Alastor," Poppy protested, but Severus hardly heard it over his sobs.

"Go!" At that command from Alastor, Severus ran out of the room, his tears blinding him, but he knew the way to his room well. He ran full speed until he was covered under his blanket. His sobbing was so loud that it must have been heard even outside the quarters, but Severus did not mind. He wished Paulus was here, but as the cat still was with Argus, Severus pressed the stuffed cat from Mrs. Weasley tight to his chest.

It was not long until someone sat down beside him and started rubbing calming circles on his back. "Severus, you must stop crying so hard or you will make yourself sick. Alastor will calm down. You know him well enough to know that." It was Poppy, but all that counted at the moment for Severus was Alastor's angry and disappointed face.

"No, he will never want to see me again."

Poppy sighed. "No, Severus, he is just...Severus, I don't think you realize what could have happened. I think Alastor is angrier at himself for letting Radgarid teach you than anything else. He will calm down and then the two of you can speak calmly." She felt Severus shake his head under the blanket.

"No, he will never speak with me again. He doesn't want me as his son anymore." More sobs and louder ones escaped Severus and Poppy increased her effort to calm him.

"Of course he still wants you as his son, Severus. We will always want you as our son. Don't be silly. We love you."

"No, he doesn't. And they even had to call me by his name all that time," Severus said miserably. The air under the blanket became heavy and he wished he could breathe more freely.

"Severus, you will suffocate." Poppy pulled the blanket away from Severus' face and gently stroked his hair. "Of course Albus and Minerva called you by your last name. Mr. McConnor would have protested that you are being treated differently otherwise. Alastor is very proud that you have chosen to take his last name, Severus. One mistake won't change that."

Severus shook his head. "You don't know him."

Poppy chuckled sadly. "I've known him much longer then you, young man. Believe me, he will calm down and then the two of you can talk calmly."

Severus did not argue anymore. Poppy's hand on his back was too good to be true, and so he relaxed into her ministration. After a few minutes, Harry slipped into the room and was waved over to them by Poppy. Seconds later, Harry lay beside him in his bed, cuddling to his side and Poppy left them alone.

"Everything will become all right, Sev," Harry said, not very convincing.

"No, it won't," Severus whispered. He wanted to ask Harry what had happened when Alastor had pulled him out of the living room, but he had no energy left. Shortly after, they were both asleep.

X-X

"Alastor, that was too much. You know what Severus has been through in his first childhood. You can't speak like that with him. He will think you don't love him anymore. Never tell him to not come out of his room for a long time again. I will not just stand here and let you treat him like that."

"Poppy, he could have blown himself up! He needs to learn to control himself, and at least at the moment he realized what he was doing he needed to stop. I will not let him lose himself in the Dark a second time!"

"He is not losing himself in the Dark, Alastor. He is twelve, not seventeen, and he was scared about what McConner said to him. Don't interpret things in his actions just because of his choices in his first youth."

Alastor stared at his wife. He knew she was right, but he had been so overwhelmed by the fear that Severus would become Dark again. He had been very disappointed that Severus had kept up his magic when he realized what he was doing. Severus wanted to hurt the other boy, but Poppy was right. He could not judge Severus like a seventeen-year-old. He was twelve and most likely reacted out of fear. "I need to calm down and then I will speak with him." Grumpily, he turned around and went to the kitchen, fully aware that his wife would go to Severus to stop the heart-wrenching sobs that came from his room.

"Come out of that corner, Harry, and sit down with me," Alastor said when he stepped into the kitchen. Harry was still crying in the corner.

"I'm s...sorry. Really! I didn't want to say that I hate you. I...I don't hate you."

The sobbing boy in front of him, with his head and shoulders hanging down, softened Alastor's heart. "I know, Harry. Calm down." He pulled Harry on his lap. "Where is your handkerchief?"

Since Harry lived in that household, he always had a fresh handkerchief in his pocket. Poppy always made sure of it. Harry fumbled for it and blew his nose.

"I was so worried about Severus. The others said he will be expelled or sent to Azkaban."

"You know that we would do everything to prevent that, Harry. You should have just gone to your room and not start screaming at me. We could have spoken after our talk to Severus in calm."

Harry's forehead fell against Alastor's shoulder. "I'm sorry. Is Severus okay?"

"Severus...has made a very big mistake and will be suspended from school for the rest of this term. Everything else you will have to ask Severus. You will need to bring his homework to him so that he doesn't miss too much."

"I will. So he won't go to Azkaban?"

"Of course not, Harry. But Radgarid might be in trouble if Mr. McConnor's parents press charges. We can only wait to see what they will do. Now, you should go to Severus and see that he calms down. I need to think a bit more before I can talk to him again." He placed Harry back on his feet and then gave him a gentle shove so that he left. Then he placed his head in his hands and sighed.

X-X

Severus turn over to his side again and clutched his stomach. He had not slept at all beside the half hour with Harry directly after Poppy had left the room. Now it was two o'clock in the morning and he felt very sick. He did not dare to go to the bathroom and tried to lay as still as possible. He feared that any movement he made would cause him to throw up in his bed or make Alastor even angrier when he noticed that Severus was not sleeping.

The door opened a crack and Severus pressed his eyes together in the hope that nobody would realize that he was awake.

"Severus, come with me," Alastor said and pulled Severus' blanket away.

Miserably, Severus followed Alastor outside. Halfway down the hall, he noticed with dread that the sickness became worse and his attempt to reach the bathroom was unsuccessful. As Severus fell to the floor to throw up against Poppy's beloved flower tapestry, Alastor sank down behind him and supported his head and held his hair out of his face. Even through the heaving, Severus tried to apologize.

"Stop trying to talk, Severus. This can be Vanished without a problem when you are done. Relax."

"I'm sorry," Severus said between sobs when he was finally sat against a clean wall so that Alastor could clean the stained one.

"I already told you that it's not a problem. Come, we need to get some potions into you and then you need to go back to bed. It's late."

He was wrapped in a blanket and placed on the couch in the living room with the instructions to not move. Then Alastor left the room to fetch the potions. When he came back, Severus was still sniffing.

"Here, this first. It will calm your stomach." He handed Severus a vial, and he drained it without looking at it. "Before you take the Sleeping Draught, I would like to make some things clear, Severus."

"Please don't throw me out. I swear I will be good from now on. I will make up for it. I will tell everyone that it wasn't Radgarid's fault. I-"

"Stop, Severus. It's too late for that. To make it short, we will talk about Radgarid and whatever will have to be done in his case tomorrow after I know what the McConnors will do. What I want to talk about with you right now is that I want you to know that I still love you. You did something very bad, Severus, but that will not make me stop loving you. You scared me a lot, and I must admit that I was influenced by what I remember of your first life as a teenager. You made a horrible choice when you were seventeen, and I don't want you to do something like that again. Hearing that you didn't stop the magic the moment you realized what you were doing shocked me. I don't want you to become the dark and bitter man you once were. I was wrong to let this influence me today. You are twelve not seventeen. I'm sorry."

Severus looked open-mouthed at Alastor. He had expected everything else but this.

"I will never throw you out, Severus, nor will I stop loving you like a son. Still, you did something very, very bad and you need to be punished for it. When I sent you to your room and told you not to leave it for the next few days, I didn't mean that I don't want to see you anymore. It was just to make it clear to you that you will have a very boring life for the next week. No friends, no flying, no fun. You will try to learn on your own in the morning or help Poppy in the Hospital Wing. If any students go there, you will not talk with them. Normally, you wouldn't be at Hogwarts during a suspension, so you will have to behave like that. As you don't have any school work tomorrow morning, you will spend your time in my and Remus' office. I will give you tasks while I'm in classes. You will eat lunch with Poppy in the Hospital Wing. Of course, you will be allowed to attend our family hour each day."

"But you said I'm not allowed to have fun and leave my room."

"Family hour will be an exception. We are still a family and you know how important that hour is for us."

Severus sniffed and nodded. It was important for him as well, even though they usually just sat together reading. Sometimes, they talked or played games. It was a perfect ending for the day. Harry was never allowed to take part in the family hour when he had an early bedtime as punishment, but Poppy had already explained to him that their punishments were different according to the crime and what would work best. He would not complain about being allowed to take part in the family hour. Being banned from attending it for a whole week would have made Severus feel as sick as he had been when Alastor fetched him from his room.

"But you are still mad at me."

"Severus, I'm disappointed. I can't just ignore what you did. It was your choice to hold that magic up even though you knew that Mr. McConnor was very scared and that he would drown in the soil. I don't think you would have gone to that extreme, but-"

"No, I wouldn't. I promise, Alastor. I'm not Dark. Please, you must believe me." Severus broke out into new tears and sobs and knelt down, or rather broke down, in front of Alastor.

Alastor sighed and pulled Severus up on his lap. "Stop it, Severus. You will make yourself sick again. You will fulfill your punishment and apologize to Radgarid. At the end of the week, you will be forgiven, and I promise to no longer to be mad at you. I don't think you are Dark. I apologized already for taking your first life into my judgment of the situation." After he drew several calming circles on Severus' back, he grabbed for the vial on the coffee table. "Time to take the Sleeping Draught, and then I will bring you back to your bed."

Severus drained the vial and fell asleep on their way to his room.

X-X

Severus gulped when Remus stepped into the office. Alastor had told him that he had a free period and would most likely be here during Alastor's first class. Severus paused in his cleaning of the shelf when Remus greeted him.

"Hi," Severus replied and then quickly went on cleaning. He was very exhausted. He had only slept after Alastor had given him the potion last night and had not had breakfast as his adoptive parents had let him sleep in until they had to leave for classes. Alastor had given Severus several tasks but ordered him to not overdue it before he had eaten breakfast which should soon arrive. The guilt had made Severus disobey that order and he had already started to clean the shelves.

"Stop that, Severus. You know as well as I that you haven't had breakfast yet."

Severus groaned. "Was that the topic in the staff room this morning?"

"No, Alastor asked me to keep an eye on you during breakfast."

A pop made Severus jump. He glared at the house-elf that stood in the middle of the room with a tray full of food which could make three boys full in Severus opinion. "Bring it over here," Remus ordered and conjured a table opposite his desk. "Sit down, Severus, and eat."

Severus sat down reluctantly. How could he eat in front of Remus? That was embarrassing.

"Is there a problem, Severus?" Remus asked when Severus did not start eating.

"Do I have to sit here?"

"I would like to keep an eye on you. Alastor said you were sick last night. I have to grade those essays, so this is the best place for you to eat and for me to be able to watch you."

Severus groaned but started to eat. He was glad that Remus did not given him a lecture about his escapade yesterday, but it still nagged at him what Remus must be thinking. "Do you also think I will turn Dark again?" Severus said, a bit too venomous. He quickly apologized for it.

Remus sighed. "Severus, you are twelve. I don't think you really wanted to hurt Mr. McConnor. He scared you and you reacted badly to it. You just need to learn from your mistakes. The past can't be undone."

Severus poked his porridge, but still did not start eating.

"Severus, please start eating, or do I have to send you up to Poppy?"

"No," Severus protested and quickly started to eat. He had not even eaten half of it when he felt he could not eat any more.

"Time for your potion, and then you need to eat more."

"I'm full."

"Severus, I'm not in the mood for games."

"But I can't eat anything else."

Remus placed his quill down and looked up. He stood up to go around the desk to Severus, but the boy quickly grabbed the vial and drained its contents, grimacing noticeably.

"Please, I'm full. I can eat later."

"No, you can't, Severus. Pomona is coming over in half an hour for your magic feed. You should finish your breakfast before then."

"You can't expect me to eat all of this!"

Remus groaned and stood up. Severus watched in horror as he moved to the fireplace. The color drained from his face when Poppy stepped out of the fireplace a moment later. Severus quickly leaned over his tray and started to eat again.

"Nice try, Severus, but let me check you now," Poppy said while she came over to Severus. "Swallow," she instructed when Severus looked at her with his mouth still full.

Severus did as he was told and then glared at Remus.

"Stop that, Severus!" Poppy ordered and turned his face to her. "How are you feeling?"

"Full."

"Do you feel sick?"

Severus lowered his head, but Poppy quickly lifted it again. "No," Severus mumbled.

"Then why are you refusing to eat when Remus asked you to finish your breakfast?"

"Because I'm full and that is too much," Severus protested and pointed accusingly at the tray.

"You had a huge magical drain yesterday and Alastor wasn't able to refill your core completely last night. You need energy."

"But it's too much."

Poppy told him to stay still and waved her wand over him. Then she waved her wand over the tray and only one more role, a glass of apple juice and an orange remained on it. "You will finish this without giving Remus any more trouble or you will spend the rest of the day in a bed in my Hospital Wing. Is that clear, Severus?"

"Yes, Poppy," Severus said, defeated.

When she left, Severus glared at Remus again. "You could have warned me."

"And then you would have eaten? I know you well enough, Severus. And what are you complaining about? You got rid of half of what was left on your tray."

"Hmpf."

Remus chuckled and started his grading again.