Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Painful Truths
When Harry and Severus slid into the Chamber of Secrets, they landed practically upon Hissy’s nose.

“HisssssssIssssssWhissssss?” the Basilisk asked courteously, gently nuzzling the child with his large snout. Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around Hissy’s muzzle, lowering his head to rest on the huge snake’s nose.

“FisssFizzzSssschss?” Hissy asked, concerned; with his bulbous eyes closed, he hadn’t seen the tears but he could certainly smell them.

*“Harry cried when he realised that he could not speak Parseltongue”* Severus explained.

*“Poor Hatchlingsssss. Poor Harry and Kingey”* the basilisk fsssshed. *“I will help. Tell the child to sit down and look into my eyessssss. He will sssssee.”*

Severus summoned a couple of chairs and, positioning them back to back, told Harry to take the chair facing Hissy. Sitting down in his own chair, Severus pulled a roll of essays out of his pocket and started marking.

Feeling slightly nervous, Harry gazed steadily at Hissy’s closed eyelids and, suddenly, the basilisk opened his eyes, which, to Harry’s great surprise, were the exact shade of green as his own.

In later years, Harry would never be quite able to explain how learning by legilimancy felt. When he took the Apperation Course, he would find an appropriate metaphor; the sensation in his brain was the exact opposite of that caused by Apperating. Hissy first stretched a bit inside his brain, gently prying open the area which had closed with the death of the horcrux, then the basilisk slowly, slowly linked the phonemes of Parseltongue to their corresponding sounds in human languages. It was a painstaking task: Harry was not trained in mind magic and, therefore, his brain did not have the elasticity of Severus’, making this a delicate task, rather akin to keyhole surgery.

However, as Hissy has spent most of the last millennia helping humans, some of whom were very hungry for knowledge, and, once or twice, in default of a Parselmouth heirs, his bonded wizards had needed Hissy to teach Parseltongue to their children, though none had been so young and unassayed as Harry.

By the time that Hissy had finished with the phoneme translation, Harry was, against all of his expectations, more than willing to call it a day. Hissy, realising that his hatchling was tiring, closed his eyes and called to Severus.

“Harry hatchling is tired and in need of rich meat and sleeping.”

Severus rolled up his essays “Thank you, Hissy. I have arranged for the house-elves to send you a cleaned and uncooked boar for your meal, tonight. Is there any other meat which you prefer?”

The basilisk smiled as only a snake can smile “Pig is good meat. Male deer is also good.”

Placing an arm around Harry’s shoulders, Severus grinned. Hissy really was a creature after his own heart.

oOoOo

Severus and Harry spent the rest of the week in his quarters at Hogwarts, cooking and eating meals together in the snug little galley kitchen and only venturing outside for Harry’s daily Parseltongue lesson.

In the first few days of the holiday, Severus had relied on the excuse that they had the whole week to talk and then, after the binding ceremony, Harry obviously had too much on his plate for Severus to heap on extra helpings of stress and anxiety.

However, the week had frittered away and, tomorrow, Saturday, must be the day. Severus spent half the night revising the conversation, as, indeed, he had most nights that week, and woke up in the cold, grey light of dawn, dread weighing upon him like an icy shroud. After spending ten minutes rearranging his limbs and bedclothes in an attempt to return to the foggy warmth of sleep, Severus accepted defeat and stumbled into the kitchen, in quest of coffee.

Hours later, Harry padded into the kitchen to find his father removing a fragrant tray of buttery, smoked-cheese croissants whilst a large plate of apple turnovers wafted their sugary, cinnamon scent across the kitchen. “Wow, Dad! These look fantastic!”

Severus smiled tiredly and, pouring Harry a glass of milk, offered his son an oven-warm croissant.

“Why’d you cook all this?” Harry asked, tearing the bread open and nibbling the melted cheese inside.

“I woke up very early this morning, Harry and, as I couldn’t sleep, I thought I would make you breakfast.”

“Poor you, Dad.” Harry said sympathetically, his earnest green eyes and milk moustache forming an amusing contrast.

Severus bit into his croissant and, deciding that there was no time like the present, began. “When I was a little boy, Harry, no older than you are now, I met a boy on the Hogwarts Express. He was from a Gryffindor family and he was very biased against Slytherins.”

“Like Ron Weasley?” Harry asked, cracking open an apple turnover and pouring cream inside.

“Yes, Harry. This little boy had another friend, who also didn’t like Slytherins and, being young and foolhardy, they were… these boys didn’t care about the feelings of people in Slytherin and often played unkind jokes at their expense.”

Harry nodded sagely: this sounded just like Ron and Seamus.

“However, when I was a little boy, the people in Slytherin weren’t as nice as they are now. Mr Malfoy was very kind to me but, as he is a number of years older, our lessons were at different times and different places in Hogwarts, so he couldn’t always be around to help me when the two Gryffindor’s bullied me.”

“What about the other Slyths? Didn’t they stick up for you?”

Severus smiled sadly “I was a very nervous little boy, Harry and, because my mother didn’t take care of me, I did not know to take care of myself. My clothes were usually messy and I did not wash my hair much or clean my teeth. I was not especially handsome or charming and, although I was clever, the other little boys and girls did not value that very much, so I had no real friends in my own house, except Lucius”

Harry’s eyes were anguished. He knew what it was like to be the weak, unwashed, unloved child, the one with no friends to protect them from bullies or even commiserate and comfort them. It made Harry’s heart ache to think of Severus being like him.

“But… Didn’t my mum help?” Harry asked desperately.

“Yes, Harry, she tried to but I was a proud little boy and, after one or two quarrels, she learnt to let me take care of myself.” Severus said ruefully. “Unfortunately, the two Gryffindors were not the sort of bullies whom only pick on the weak; when I fought back, they became more determined to defeat me and, as they had two other friends to help them, I was often… somewhat vigorous in my self-defence.”

“That sucks!” Harry said angrily “Four against one! I thought Gryffs were supposed to be honourable.”

“One day," Severus continued calmly "the little Gryffindor boy developed a crush on my best friend, Lily. Lily, however, disliked the boy because of his bullying so she shunned him”

“Too right” harrumphed Harry.

“This made the Gryffindor very angry with me” Severus explained “and, as Lucius had left by this time, the four Gryffindors became somewhat violent.”

“Why didn’t the teachers stop them?” Harry asked, incensed.

Severus smiled ruefully “They tried, Harry but, however many detentions they gave these boys, however many points they took, the children did not learn. Indeed, they treated me all the worse because they blamed me for their punishments.”

“That’s really dumb!”

Severus nodded “One day, during our OWL exams, the Gryffindor boys were bored and, when they saw me by myself, they decided to bully me. They knocked me over and filled my mouth with soap, which choked me.”

Harry’s eyes flashed “I’d have kicked them in the nuts if I had been there.”

Severus smiled, deciding that now was not the time to correct his son’s diction “Your mother was of much the same opinion. She was so angry when she saw what they were doing to me, she marched over and started arguing with them. However, by this time I was so angry that I hexed the Gryffindor boy, which hurt his face a little. He hung me upside down using a spell which I had invented and I was so humiliated and angry that, when James teased me about needing your mother’s help, I said a very wrong and unkind thing which hurt your mother badly; that I didn’t need help from mudbloods.” Severus explained, his dark eyes haunted and shoulders tense.

“James…” Harry gasped “My father was called James!”

“Ah!” Severus could have kicked himself: of all the times to lose track of what he was saying…

“It was my Dad, wasn’t it!” Harry gasped, his eyes filling with tears “Is that why you didn’t like me when I started school. Everyone says I look like him!”

Severus swallowed “I love you, Harry. It doesn’t matter to me who sired you. I’m… I… you’re my son.”

Harry dashed around the table and clung to Severus, sobbing into his collar. He couldn’t bear to think of his Dad being hurt like that, let alone by someone related to him.

“Why did Mum marry him?!” Harry sniffled “Why?! How could she?!”

“James’ little group of Gryffindors, the Marauders, stopped bulling me so badly after our OWL exams.” Severus said, pulling his son onto his lap “Your mother… I had upset Lily so badly that she no longer felt that she could be my friend” he explained sadly “However, although Lily held me responsible for my actions, she principally blamed the Marauders and, as she was a well-liked girl, the Marauders became very unpopular for a while.”

“So they only stopped because bullying made them unpopular?” Harry asked contemptuously.

“I think that the Marauders realised that they had become people whom they did not like” Severus forced himself to say. “As James Potter matured, his behaviour became more principled and, as Lily probably saw him at his best, she must have forgiven his past bad behaviour and grown to like the man that he had become.”

“I know that it’s wrong to hurt people now, so why didn’t he?” Harry grumbled.

“James was not taught to consider the effect of his actions on other people’s feelings.” Severus replied “He could do no wrong in his parents’ eyes and, therefore, it took a while for him to learn that he could make mistakes.”

Harry nodded “Like God in Paradise Lost: everything God does is good because he is God and, therefore, even if something would be evil if done by anyone else, it has to be good when he does it because he is God.”

Severus hugged his little son “I see you’ve been doing a lot of extracurricular reading.”

“A bit.” Harry smiled sadly.

Severus sighed “James… once saved my life, Harry. One of his friends had played a dangerous trick on me, which, if James had not stepped in, would have lead to my death.” and their expulsion, Severus added, in the privacy of his mind.

Harry’s eyes were round as galleons “What did they do?!”

“That is a story for another time, Harry” Severus evaded “The reason why I am telling you this now is that one of James’s friends, Sirius Black, was named your Godfather.”

Harry tilted his head on the side, perplexed as to where this was going.

Severus gritted his teeth “When your parents knew that Voldemort was hunting them, they decided to go into hiding and they used a special spell to ensure that Voldemort could not find them. This spell is called the fidelis charm: it involves securing a secret, in this case your parent’s hiding place, in a person. As long as the person doesn’t tell anyone, no one will ever find it out.”

Harry nodded, intrigued.

“Your parents used this spell and everyone thought that their Secret Keeper was your Godfather, Sirius. However, they had secretly made someone else their Secret Keeper, another friend of theirs called Peter. However, Peter had a secret of his own; he was a friend of Voldemort and he told him where your parents were hiding.”

“Oh no!” Harry gasped.

Severus hugged him “Yes. However, although almost everyone thought that Sirius was the Secret Keeper, one person knew differently; Sirius himself. Sirius confronted Peter and Peter, after making a speech intended to indicate to bystanders that Sirius had been the Secret-Keeper, blew up the street, cut off his finger and transformed into his animagus form, a rat, and ran into the gutter. Sirius was caught by the aurors and imprisoned without trial for Peter’s murder.”

Harry’s mouth twisted “Magical law seems pretty pants, Dad. You’d think that, with all the potions and stuff they have, Wizards would be much better at finding out if someone was innocent!”

Severus nodded “I know, Harry. The thing is that, during the last war, many terrible things happened to innocent people. Voldemort was a very clever man and he indoctrinated people, deceiving them into believing that muggles were inferior and that it was important not to let muggleborns weaken magical bloodlines. Once Voldemort had won their minds, he persuaded his followers that they must use the Unforgivable curses for the greater good.”

“Unforgivable curses?” Harry asked.

“Three, very dark curses, Harry. One, the Cruciatus Curse, tortures the victim, causing unbearable pain. Another, the Imperius Curse, enslaves its victim, forcing them to do the caster’s bidding. The last” Severus said quietly “is the killing curse. Casting any one of these curses will earn you a life sentence in prison.”

“They sound horrible.”

“They are” Severus said heavily. “Many people were very angry with Voldemort and, unfortunately, the Head of the Auror department decided to fight fire with fire. The Aurors were instructed to use the unforgivable curses on Voldemort’s supporters and, as Dark magic warps the soul and psyche, many Aurors become as vicious and arbitary as Voldemort himself.” Severus paused “However, we have digressed. Your Godfather, Sirius, has just been released from Prison because Peter… Peter was the rat that Isis and Reggie killed.”

“What?!” Harry gasped, gazing at his father in disbelief.

“Yes, Harry. Peter, it seems, was pretending to be a pet in order to spy on you and, of course, when he was found dead at Hogwarts, the Aurors realised that they might have been mistaken with regards to Sirius. A week ago, Sirius was questioned under Veritaserum and found innocent. He is currently recovering in St Mungos but, I expect, he will wish to see you.”

“Did James know him at Hogwarts?” Harry asked suspiciously.

“Yes, Harry. Sirius was James’ best friend.” Severus replied, keeping his voice level.

“That meaned he bullied you.” Harry said angrily, folding his thin arms “I don’t ever want to see him.”

“Harry, it might be a good idea to hear his side of the story before you decide that.” Severus forced himself to say.

“No!” Harry said firmly, looking his father steadily in the eye “I love you Dad” he whispered, pressing his cheek to the side of his father’s face.

Severus hugged Harry “I know, Harry. However, it would not be disloyal to me if you should wish to see Sirius. He could tell you lots of stories about Lily and James and…” Severus paused, agonising over whether he should speak or remain silent “Sirius was not the only teenager to make a terrible mistake. Just before I took my OWLs, I did something very wrong and very stupid, for which I will never forgive myself.”

“What?” Harry asked, pulling out of the hug to gaze up at his father, who, to his surprise, looked pale and ill.

“I… I joined Voldemort.”

Chapter End Notes:
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