It is deathly quiet for a few moments after Sinistra leaves. I glance towards Albus and see the sadness. I must admit that some part of me feels as he does. She takes too many risks. She always has.

"All of you were correct," Albus quietly says.

"Forgive me, but I do not follow."

"When I placed Harry with the Dursleys, Minerva warned me that they were the worst sorts of Muggles. I brushed off her warnings, thinking that I knew better than she did. My arrogance has cost me dearly because Aurora is correct. Two of my boys that I love dearly are now broken due to it."

"Albus—"

"No, Severus, do not interrupt. Just listen," he replies. His blue eyes then pierce into me with his sadness. "Out of all the students who came here through the years, Severus, you and Harry stood out the most to me. You both are my favorites, which I believe both of you know at some level. I remember your Sorting. I remember the look of disappointment on your face when the Sorting Hat placed Lily in Gryffindor. I can still see the look of relief when it sorted you into Slytherin. At the time, I had thought nothing of you. I regret I only thought of you as another student just like all the others. Soon I saw, though, that you were not like them. You tried everything to continue your friendship with Lily. You paid little attention to the fact that she was in Gryffindor and you were in Slytherin. Not a lot of students through the years do that. That is what first got my attention, Severus. Of course, I now know that was due to your feelings towards her, but at the time I saw contentment and peace when you were near her."

I feel an ache in my chest again. It is painful to think of such things. However, I see that he has to say it so I'm not going to stop him. I push back my feelings under my barriers out of mere habit.

"Then there was the fact that I saw you nearly every day after James decided to take an interest in her. I know that I took James's side more often than I should, and that in retrospect now it was reckless. I should have punished James more severely for his treatment of you. I should have put a stop to it. However, I regret that I only thought it was boys just being boys. I did not even attempt to listen to your side or even give you the benefit of the doubt. How little excuses matter now, but perhaps another reason I did not listen then was that I had thought you were already lost to the darkness. I had heard from the other professors how you casted dark spells against James. Not even once did I try to find out why you used these spells. Why I do not agree with your casting, I understand now why you did."

"Albus—" I start to say only to have him interrupt again.

"No, Severus, let me finish." The haunted look has taken over his blue eyes again. "Hogwarts should have been a safe environment for you. It should not have turned into another one of the many hells you've had to experience in your life." He then sighs heavily and shakes his head. "I turned a blind eye to your treatment at home. Any good educator can see the signs of abuse. You had all the classic signs, and I did nothing. I saw the marks on you. I noticed how thin you always were when you returned from break." He then scoffs. "I even met Tobias once."

My eyes immediately narrow on him. It is odd that Albus has ever had reason to meet Tobias. I remember that he always addressed my letters describing my turbulent school years to my mother. I must admit that I am now on the edge of my seat. After all, I do not remember Tobias every mentioning meeting Albus before, and I surely would remember the beating after that one.

"It was the day after your mother's death. I had been at the Ministry when I learned of the news. The rash side of me had thought that it would be best to see him. I met him in a pub outside of London."

"Shocking," I drawl. He glances at me, but says nothing.

"I offered my condolences and asked him where the funeral would be so you could attend. I can still hear the words he slurred." Albus shakes his head angrily. "I knew then that he cared little for you. I knew then that he abused you. Even with all this knowledge, I did nothing for you, Severus." He then scoffs harshly. "No, let me amend that. I did do something for you. When you begged and pleaded with me to save Lily, I treated you just as harshly as Tobias did and I used you as if you meant nothing to me. I can still remember the look I gave you when you informed that you were a Death Eater. I should have thought of you as being courageous for having the nerve to walk into my office and reveal that, but I only felt revulsion towards you. I was ashamed of you when I should have felt remorse. No matter what you say to the contrary, Severus, I know that it was due to my inactions that led you to Voldemort. If I had treated you and James the same, you would not have felt the need to prove yourself to others. If I had removed you from Tobias, you would not have had your anger consume you. If I had done both of those things, you would have possibly had a better life than you do now. One that could have included Lily and would not include the darkness that we both now must contend with, but I didn't. I just stood by and allowed the darkness consume you. She is right. Aurora is right, Severus. Two boys under my care are now broken because of me." He then shakes his head angrily again. "My meddling in things that ought not to be meddled in has cost too many lives, and I fear it will cost me more before the end. However, I did not meddle when it was needed, and as a result both you and Harry suffer."

"Blame should not solely rest on you, Albus. It was my choice to serve—"

"Was it, Severus?" he asks staring at me. "Can you honestly say it was your choice?"

"Yes," I respond slightly shocked by his behavior. "You did not force me to take the Dark Mark. It was under my own volition that I took it."

"But why, Severus?" he asks. "Why did you take it?"

It is as if a dam bursts inside of me and I cannot hold back my words. I cannot stop myself as the words fall out. The truth rushes out of me.

"Because I wished to belong," I blurt out. I then firmly clamp my mouth shut, but it is already too late. I watch him nod slowly and somberly.

"Yes, and you wished for a family who loved you. Voldemort was exceptionally well at making lost souls feel like they belonged. I knew that more than any of us did. His lies made the best of us choose his side. To feel what it was like to belong, to love, to make a connection with someone who could understand you. I did none of that for you, Severus, and I've done very little with Harry."

"I disagree, Albus."

"And it is your right to, my boy," he responds quietly.

"Harry is not as lost as I was. He has his mother's kindness and friends who are willing to keep him from the darkness. He even has Draco protecting him now. It may take some time, but he will start to feel safe here, Albus."

"Yes, I don't doubt that, Severus. You are a better protector than I am."

"Do not do this. Regret does nothing but make you feel worse. You did the best you could."

"No, Severus. Be honest. I did not. I used Lily's death as a ploy to have you protect Harry. What man does that?" He waits for me to reply, but I don't. I am not going to add any more to this ghastly conversation. "No man, Severus, uses the death of someone you know against another. I am no better than Voldemort. I use others to get what I want with no regard of the cost it leaves behind."

"Albus—"

"You spied for me at great risk to yourself, which you still do on occasion. In the back of my mind, I think of the day when I lose you and it scares me, Severus, because I know your blood will stain the most on my soul."

As the ache in my chest sharpens drastically, I quickly glance away from Albus. I am desperately pushing my emotions behind my barriers, but I can feel them fall one-by-one. I think back to my motto how only fools wear their emotions on their sleeves and here I sit nearly weeping from his words.

"Harry is lucky to have you, as you also are."

"This self-pity does not suit you, Albus," I say half-heartedly. He smiles softly and nods somberly. "Do not concern yourself over me. I am fine, Albus. I am not planning on picking any fights or joining the dark side anytime soon."

"That is good to hear, Severus, but you will have to forgive me if I still worry." He then sighs. "I know I've treated you poorly and used you in ways that would be worthy of Azkaban, but over the years I've come to think of you as the son I'll never have. Tobias never knew how lucky he was."

"If you are looking for forgiveness, Albus, you have it. My loyalty rests with you, which is how it should have been always." He then nods in appreciation, which makes me sigh. "We all have faults, and your fault is that you care too much about people that you lose sight sometimes."

"Ah, is that my only fault? I seem to be getting better now," he jokes before staring at me. Somberness replaces the happiness again. "Nothing I do will ever make up for the pain I caused you and Harry. Aurora is right Azkaban pales to what you both feel, but perhaps it will be better now."