Dinner is a somber event. The empty chair at the head table sticks out like a sore thumb in the large hall. My face is tight with my mask firmly in place. However, I know that everyone can see through my mask. I do not have the energy to maintain it at all times anymore. I feel as if someone has sucked every drop of energy from me, leaving me a lonely shell. My thoughts truthfully scare me.

"I've spoken with her mother," Septima says to Minerva as they sit next to me. "She's planning on taking Aurora back with her after she comes."

"Poor soul," Pomona Sprout whispers before she takes another sip of her water.

Poor soul, POOR soul, I sneer in my mind outraged by their behavior. However, I make no sound or even a face at their words. You disgrace her by pitying her. Pity does nothing for a person except make her feel worse. We should all be wishing her well and being there for her than sitting here as if we care so little about her. She would stay by our side. Should we not do the same for her? For her who deserves our respect and love for what she has suffered at our hands.

"Maybe it'll do her some good to be away from everything. Merlin knows that it can't hurt her."

"Has anyone spoken to her recently? I mean, something had to make her snap like that."

Perhaps it is you old bats who gossip idly behind others' backs, I think. I can feel my blood begin to boil as I glare at my soup bowl. However, two sets of eyes on me watch me closely. One is blue, and the other pair is green. I glance to the green-eyed boy who is watching me like a hawk. He is just like his mother in knowing when something upsets me. It is unsettling and infuriating at the same time. His eyes quickly dart from mine, which makes me nearly sigh. Harry is so predictable at times.

"Well, she's always been mysterious, you know."

I cannot stand to hear any more of their conversation. I stand up and briskly walk out of the Great Hall. The door slams shut behind me, which I say good riddance to. I can hear a roar in my ears as my heart beats wildly in my chest. My barriers are breaking down, and I know it is not going to be long before I suffer the same fate as Aurora. I rush to the hidden entrance to the dungeons prior to heading to my quarters. When Salazar guarding my rooms speaks, I throw out my hand. The door opens instantly.

Yet another time does a door slam behind me. I can feel myself panting as my intense emotions take over. I have always been a slave to my emotions after my barriers fall. My mother used to say it was not a weakness on my part, but it showed that I had a heart. My barriers do not fall often, but when they do, they make me fall so hard that I know not what to do with myself afterwards.

I have always been an intensively private man. My father is to thank for that. He always made sure that I knew my place, which usually was on the floor bleeding after he took his rage out on me. Emotions show your weakness. Emotions eat your strength. Emotions bleed you dry until you are but a prune of nothingness. Emotions are the rope we use to hang ourselves. All this I know and more.

Struggling to control myself, I glance towards a picture hanging on the wall. I stare at it, recounting times that were not so dark. I focus primarily on the young woman laughing before she throws a snowball at the young man. The Slytherin badge pinned to his chest shines majestically as the light from the sun catches it, while the light also catches the Gryffindor badge on the young woman's chest. In the background is a shadow, one that I know well.

The subjects in the picture are happy. The subjects know not the evil of the world in that picture. The subjects know nothing in fact, but that throwing freezing cold balls of snow at each other is fun. Neither has seen the blood seeped from curse wounds yet. Neither has suffered a terrible pain yet. It is the ideal picture of happiness, but that is all it is, an ideal. It is not real. Someone, in fact, has altered it. I know this because I am the one who altered it.

One might look at the picture and see Lily Evans and myself throwing snowballs at one another, but the person would be wrong. It is not Lily. It cannot be Lily because I know this picture is of our sixth-year. I had already lost her by then. My hand gently brushes the silver frame, and the picture reveals its true subjects. I stare at the fifth-year Slytherin Aurora Sinistra. She is so carefree in that picture for all the reasons I have listed above. She knows nothing of evil, but that I am a member of it.

My eyes close as I remember better times, times when my biggest worry was if I was going to be on time for classes or if I brewed my potions right. However, soon my memories distort themselves into that night years ago. I can still feel the sogginess and heaviness of my robes as the rain pelts and soaks me to the bone. I can still see the flashes of violent lightning as they streak across the sky. I can still smell the acrid stench of burnt flesh from the wicked spells casted. All this I remember and more. Soon I am back there that night and unable to stop the memory from flowing freely behind my eyes.

"My lord," I say knelling and kissing the hems of the dark wizard's robes. I am eighteen, and I believe all of his lies as any good sheep would. My white mask is firmly in place, ensuring that no intruders know who I am except the others of the Inner Circle.

"Excellent, Severus, excellent," he responds with a sinister smile. "Rise, my most faithful servant," he hisses.

I do so without saying a word. I ignore the mud that covers my robes from debasing me so foolishly because I am receiving special attention from one who I believe understands me like none other. He brushes my mind with his, and I take this to be a gift. However, he takes my gift from me as something draws his attention. I whirl around with all intention to hex the one who took my gift. Dozens of curses fly towards me, though, forcing me to react defensively. I hear the harsh crack behind me, which can only mean that the Dark Lord has gone to safety.

It does not take me long before I am in a fierce duel with a black-clad figure. I can tell by the outline of the robe that it is a young woman. I am throwing nearly every spell I can towards her. She is the reason I lost my gift. She deserves to pay. However, she deflects nearly all my spells as if they are nothing to her. I notice Lucius and Regulus flank towards me. Soon we are all sending our curses at her. Yet again, she deflects them as if it is nothing to her. I can see Regulus hesitate slightly, which she takes advantage of almost immediately. Soon it is just her and me again as she sends Regulus and Lucius to the mud with a powerful casting of Diffindo.

I cast light and dark spells, but it does no good. She is of equal strength magically to me. The wind howls around us as we fiercely battle. I cast every single spell I know, and she deflects them as if they are bits of sand. The only way I can gain the tactical advantage is by using physical means, and I have sworn to myself that I never would do that less I become my father. However, I will not lose to her.

I cast my spells with such ferocity that she starts to back up ever so slightly. I then increase my casting, which makes her deflect even faster. I smirk slightly under my mask as I watch her back up even more. I have her right where I want her. I send one more spell, which I put every bit of my magic into before casting it at her. I nearly laugh when she steps back only to trip backwards on the exposed root. I lower my wand ready to deliver the final blow when her hood falls.

Behind my mask, my mouth drops at the familiar sight of slightly frizzled long dark hair. My wand lowers instantly, but this time out of pure shock. I stare at her barely breathing. I breathlessly whisper her name, which I know she cannot hear.

"Aurora, but…"

Her dark eyes harden as she tightens her grip around her long silver wand. I can see the hatred in her eyes as she glares at me. I know she cannot see me so I am not worried that she'll know who I am since I am in my full Death Eater garb. I turn my head and walk away from her. I cannot hurt her any more than I could hurt Lily.

"What's the matter, coward?" she snarls behind me.

I ignore her. I know I am not a coward. I do not need to turn around and reveal myself to her. I gulp harshly before rushing towards the tree line. I do not care what the Dark Lord does to me after he learns that I didn't capture her. I am not going to hurt her. I do not care what he thinks. I will not…I WILL NOT harm her. I can sense her spells rushing towards me. I should have known it was Aurora. I should have known.

We had numerous duels in school. Granted, she was a year younger than I was, but she was rather powerful in her own right. I turn back just as I reach the tree line. As her blasting curse is right in front of me, I close my eyes. It doesn't hit me, though, because I apparate away like the coward I am.

My stroll down memory lane ends and I sight heavily as I think how far we've come these past ten years or so. She is on one side, and I am still on the other. One of these days, I swear we will be on the same side. Even if it kills us to get that way, we will be together.