"How wonderful, you have a letter from the Weasleys," Snape drawls the next morning. He holds the envelope in his hands before tossing it to me.

I instantly snatch the letter before ripping it open. I immediately grin at the picture drawn. I can't tell which Weasley drew it, but it definitely makes me laugh. Unfortunately, my laugh draws attention to myself, and Snape glances at me from his usual chair where he is reading the Daily Prophet.

"Something amusing in your letter, Potter?" he drawls.

"No, sir, nothing," I reply lying smoothly. He raises an eyebrow before returning to his reading. I glance back at the picture of a watercolor Snape and Professor Sinistra together at what appears to be their wedding. At the very bottom of the drawing, the artist has included the words "Uniting Slytherin." I'm not certain why I laughed, but it does have an amazing likeness to the actual subjects of the portrait. My eyes then glance over the scrawl that I know is Ron's handwriting.

Harry,

Snape and Sinistra? Honestly? Wow. Didn't see that one coming. How long do you think they've been dating? Ugh, never mind, we probably don't even want to know. You know, she could do better. I mean, who would ever want to kiss that greasy git? You don't think she has a thing for that, do you? Okay, now I'm officially creeping myself out.

So…how's things going at summer school? We asked Mum if we could come see you, but her answer of course was no. Hey, maybe we could tell Sirius that Snape's holding you against your will or something. It'd be nice to see that greasy git—

"Ah, Mr. Weasley, always amusing, isn't he?" Snape drawls from above me.

I stupidly open my mouth, but Snape only chuckles and shakes his head before walking back to his chair again. I stare at him as if he's wearing a Speedo. He meets my stare with a look of amusement, though. Something is up with that man, and I have to admit I'm scared.

"Honestly, Potter, close your mouth before the fruit flies get in," he says before whistling softly.

Okay, now I'm terrified. Snape whistling? What on earth is going on? What planet am I even on?

"It is a rather good idea, the Weasley twins," Snape clarifies as he glances at me again. "My marrying Aurora would perhaps unite Slytherin. After all, as Mr. Weasley so lovingly put it, I am a greasy git, and she is such a good witch."

I only nod slowly. Desperately, I'm thinking of an escape route. Snape's lost his mind. He's nuttier than Dumbledore and Lockhart combined, and that's saying something. A sudden thought pops into my head. If Snape goes to St. Mungo's, who gets guardianship of me? I then glance at Snape.

"Um…Snape?" He motions with his hand for me to continue. "If you…um…say go to St. Mungo's, who…um…gets guardianship of me then?"

"I suppose it'd go to Dumbledore. However, I fail to see why I would ever go to St. Mungo's.

"Well, it's just that you're…" I then bite my tongue. Honestly, what would I say? You've gone nutters, Snape. You are in desperate need to go to the loony bin because you're whistling. Oh, yeah, that would work wonders. The man would hex me before I even got the first word out.

"Happy?" he offers with a faint smile.

Professor Sinistra, please help me. He's gone batty. Please…please help me, I whimper in my mind. He's smiling and whistling and…and being nice. Oh, god, something's wrong here. He should have at least grounded me for telling Ron and the twins about his relationship with Professor Sinistra. Instead, the man is smiling, whistling, and being overly nice to me.

"Severus, knock it off. You're scaring poor Harry," Professor Sinistra says as she walks into the room. She meets my eyes and flashes an apologetic smile at me.

"But, my love, Harry and his friends are trying to plan our wedding. Oh, Aurora, darling, it will just be wonderful. In fact, the Weasley twins believe it will unite Slytherin. Can you imagine that?"

I glance at Snape. His words clearly are dripping with sarcasm. I hate when he does this. It's as if the man loves to let people hang themselves with their words. I glance at Professor Sinistra and notice her look. She doesn't seem to be rather happy with me right now. I sigh. Maybe I shouldn't have told Ron and his brothers. Stupid Gryffindor side, I think. They both nod slowly as if they heard me.

"Oh, we can hear you, Mr. Potter," Professor Sinistra replies darkly.

I gulp. I'm dead, I think. They nod.